NOTICE! I do not own anything in this fanfiction, save for two characters.
Okeydokey, I'm now introducing a pair of characters that I'm sure you'd like! Please enjoy!
Hogarth and GIR stepped cautiously through the forest. Well, Hogarth did, at least. GIR was walking along, not thinking of any danger. Hogarth had his BB Pistol ready if anyone or anything jumped out to attack.
What neither of them knew was, they were being watched.
Two pairs of eyes stared out at them from the bushes. One pair was pink (had pink irises) and also bloodshot. The other looked more decent; clear, veinless black eyes.
"Ren, look!" the one with the healthy eyes whispered, "Someone's here! We're saved!"
"Quiet, you fool!" hissed the one with the bloodshot eyes, "How do you know we can trust them?"
Hogarth heard the voices; he stopped, and turned.
He saw nothing, save for the foliage, but he had to make sure.
"Whuzzat? Whuzzat?" GIR asked.
He turned to GIR. "Shh. Shhhh."
GIR was silenced, and he watched Hogarth load the BB gun and creep toward the bushes. The boy cautiously looked in...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A fat, red-and-white cat with a bulbous blue nose popped out of the bushes, screaming! Hogarth and GIR screamed, as well! The creature pounced on Hogarth, pinning him down.
"Oh, rapture!" the creature said joyfully, his eyes welling up. To Hogarth, the creature sounded like Larry Fine of the Three Stooges, only sped up. "Someone's finally come to rescue us! I just wanna hug ya an' squeeze ya an' hold ya close ta me!" As the creature said this, it squeezed Hogarth tightly, bawling happily.
"Aww," GIR said, smiling, "It likes you."
"Alright, hold it," Hogarth said, tearing this...thing off. It only jumped back on him. Now Hogarth was getting annoyed. "Would you let go of me!?"
Just then, a small, skinny chihuahua came out of the bushes. It looked at the cat, apparently annoyed.
"You heard the kid, Stimpy!" it barked, "Off!"
The cat, Stimpy, flinched at first, then cautiously climbed down, still alarmed.
"Apologize to the human," said the chihuahua.
Stimpy turned to Hogarth. "I'm sorry."
By now, Hogarth noticed a few more details about Stimpy; he had small, pointed ears, flat, bean-shaped feet, and yellow gloves on its hands. It was also missing a tail.
"That's better," the skinny dog snorted. He then turned to Hogarth. "You'll have to excuse my pal here. He and I have been marooned on this island for a LONG time! Now, don't get me wrong: Solitude's fine--"
"And it's even better when you're with your best friend," Stimpy added.
"Shut up, stupid," the chihuahua said to Stimpy. By now, Hogarth noticed that when it spoke, it sounded like a Mexican Peter Lorre.
He also noticed what an unhealthy-looking creature this thing was. It must have been one of those Asthma-Hound Chihuahuas he heard of. This one had pink, bloodshot eyes, a small, red, pointed nose, and a pink, rat-like tail behind it.
The little dog turned back to Hogarth. "As I was saying, solitude's fine, but for God's sake, after 20 years...YOU GO A LITTLE NUTS!" As it shouted, it spazzed out, its eyes bugging out and everything. It chuckled, then stopped when he saw Hogarth giving him an odd look.
"Uh, sorry," the unhealthy creature said, backing away a bit. It then regained its composure and introduced itself. "I am Ren Hoek. That's HOH-ehk, OK? Not HOHKE. Of course you met my stupid friend, Stimpson J. Cat, or Stimpy, for short. Say hello, eediot."
"Duh, hello, idiot," Stimpy said, cross-eyed and drooling.
GIR giggled. "I like them. They're funny."
Hogarth only smiled and rolled his eyes.
"We used to be navigators on a ship before our crew left us here," the skinny creature, Ren, continued.
Stimpy walked over and held out his hand. "And you are?"
"Hogarth."
"Joy!" Stimpy rejoiced, shaking Hogarth's hand wildly, "What a pleasure to meet you, Hogarth!"
"And I'm GIR!" the little robot chirped.
Ren turned to GIR. "GIR? What kind of name is that?"
GIR thought about this for a moment (as best he could), then shrugged.
There was a short pause before Ren spoke up. "You two have the weirdest names. Where do you come from?"
The boy disregarded what Ren said. "Look," Hogarth said, breaking away from Stimpy's handshake, "I'm kind of in a hurry here. I gotta find a place to hide, 'cause there are pirates coming."
"Pirates!?" Ren echoed. He sounded angry as he continued. "Ohhh, no. Don't get me started on PIRATES! I HATE 'EM!" Ren then stomped over to a nearby tree and leaned against it. "I remember when we were with the Jolly Roger Pirates. Sure, the captain was a great guy, but I never met anyone like that one crewmate of his. Bastard."
Hogarth stopped. Did Ren just say "Jolly Roger Pirates"!?
He turned around. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" he said, "You guys knew Gold Roger!?"
"I think that crew mate of his was jealous of him, personally," Ren continued, "I'm no therapist, but anyway, I--" Ren stopped, then looked at Hogarth, seeming a bit ashamed. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?"
"But that means..." Hogarth thought for a minute, then his eyes lit up, and he turned to the former navigators. "Wait, then you guys gotta know about the treasure?"
Ren and Stimpy exchanged glances, then looked at Hogarth and both asked, "Treasure?"
"Yeah, Roger's trove?" Hogarth inquired, "The Loot of a Thousand Lands?" GIR tried to illustrate by projecting a hologram of a treasure chest opening up, revealing golden coin upon golden coin.
"Oh!" Ren and Stimpy said together. Then Ren got up. "Well, uh, it's a little fuzzy, man. We've been stranded here for 20 years, remember?"
Stimpy's eyes suddenly shot open! "Wait!" he said, "I...I think I remember!" The fat feline clutched his skull. "It's there, it's there! I--"
"TREASURE!" Ren shouted suddenly, making everyone jump! "Lots of treasure! Buried in the--" He clutched his head. "The-- The--"
"The center of the machine!" Stimpy shouted.
"Yeah, yeah!" Ren said excitedly.
"And, and there was this big door, remember, Ren?"
"Yeah, yeah! Opening and closing and OPENING AND CLOSING! ...And..."
"And someone in the crew wanted the treasure for himself!"
"Yeah! He wanted to make sure no one could get to the treasure, not even the Pirate King, so he forced us to help him..."
"What, Ren? Help him what!?"
"...AAAAGGGHHHH! I DON'T REMEMBER! I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!" Finally, Ren started banging his head against the tree, very violently. "C'MON! WHAT WAS IT!? WHAT WAS IT!? WHAT WAS IT!?"
Now everyone was concerned. "Ren?" Hogarth said, "Ren!" He then slapped the dog across the face.
Ren stood up straight, then slumped over. "Whew... Thanks, man...I needed that."
"Wait, wait!" Hogarth exclaimed, "What about the treasure?"
"Huh?"
"Something about the, the center of the machine, or..."
"Uh, sorry, man," Ren explained, "Our memories aren't what they used to be. I, uh, lost my mind. Ha ha, I've lost my mind!
"You haven't found it, have you?" He asked, searching Hogarth's clothes.
"Uh...?" Hogarth had no idea what Ren was talking about.
"Our ship's log!" Stimpy answered happily, "Maybe it'll help us remember where the treasure is."
The boy sighed. "Look, Ren, Stimpy," he said, "We REALLY need a place to hide, OK? So we're just gonna be, y'know, moving on." He then started to walk away.
Ren and Stimpy seemed a bit dismayed. Well, alright, VERY dismayed. "Oh, uh..." Ren stammered, "So, I guess...this is goodbye, huh?"
"NO!" Stimpy bawled, "NOT AGAIN!" He then continued to sob. Ren tried to comfort his friend by patting him on the back.
"Uh, sorry we're so, um...off," Ren apologized, "Um, go ahead, and, uh... We do understand. We do. Goodbye." He then turned to his bawling pal.
Hogarth turned and looked sympathetically at the two. GIR gave Hogarth a pleading look, begging to let them come along.
The human sighed. "Look, if you guys are coming with, you're gonna have to stop talking."
Stimpy stopped crying and he and Ren looked at Hogarth wide-eyed. They then screamed with delight! The fat cat pounced on Hogarth, hugging him tightly again.
"Happy happy happy! Joy joy joy!" Stimpy exclaimed happily. But then he saw that Hogarth was annoyed. The cat smiled nervously and sealed his lips, like a Zip-Lock.
"And you have to stop touching me!" Hogarth said.
"Oh, OK!" Stimpy said, jumping off of Hogarth.
"Touching and talking not allowed," Ren said to Stimpy, "Got that, stupid?" But Stimpy seemed to have his legs crossed. He also seemed nervous.
"What's the matter with you?" Ren asked.
Stimpy looked around, then whispered, "I gotta go potty."
Ren's eyes widened. "Oh, God!" He then turned to Hogarth. "Hey, kid, before we go out on our big 'search', y'think we could make a quick pit stop at our place?" He then brushed aside some foliage to reveal a huge tree with a hole in it. "It's, uh, kind of urgent," Ren continued, nodding his head toward Stimpy.
Hogarth and GIR stared at Ren and Stimpy's place.
"Guys," Hogarth said, chuckling a little, "I think you just solved our problem!"