Kris took a steadying breath before reaching out to open the door. At his entrance, Allie looked up and smiled softly as he cleared his throat.
Adam's head jerked up in genuine surprise, though, and his expression shifted. His features tensed and tightened, and a strange look manifested itself in his eyes. Kris was momentarily baffled by it, giving him a questioning look. Adam glanced nervously at Allie—and then, when she smiled fully, laid a shaking hand against her arm and forced a tentative grin, patting it tenderly.
Kris sensed there was more to the behavior, but didn't want to ask just yet.
The hesitant luminosity of Adam's smile, however marred it was by the tiny lines of lingering pain in his face, made his heart wrench as warmth spread up from somewhere deep in his chest. The shadows were still there, but softened by light.
"Kris." he said in greeting, then flushed slightly and dropped his eyes, his hand withdrawing from Allie's arm and brushing over his eyes. "I—I'm sorry. I—" He apologized oddly.
Kris cringed at his pain. "There is nothing more to apologize for, Adam," he assured him, voice understanding. Then he changed the subject. "I'm glad you got to see Allie again."
Adam refused to meet his or Allison's concerned gaze and his grip tightened, his fist balling up a section of the blanket. He shifted his leg slightly to make room for Kris when he approached the bed to sit on its edge, and waveringly shook off the pain, but that heightened tension still suffused his features, making him look almost feverish. Kris realized with sad certainty that it would be awhile, even after he was released, before Adam would be completely back to his old self again.
Allison ran her hand through Adam's hair impishly, although she straightened up and made sure he was steady against the pillows as she did so. "It'll be all right, Adam," she whispered. "I promise."
Adam nodded dully, then let out a woeful sigh. It made Kris' raw heart twist slightly. "What is it, Kris?" he mumbled, wary.
He reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, and was heartened when he didn't flinch away in pain, though he didn't lean into the touch either. "Stephanie is going to be here in a few minutes. She wanted to talk to you about your progress and what's going to happen next, I guess. What to expect when we do leave."
He just looked at Kris for one slow moment before he nodded and exhaled softly. "O-okay," he replied. "Good idea."
"I'll leave you two, then," Allison said, pulling away, after a slight squeeze to Adam's hand. His head whipped around to look at her, his expression soft. Allie grinned. "Now you don't have to worry about me anymore. Focus on yourself," she whispered firmly. "I'll see you later, all right?"
Adam nodded falteringly. "G'bye, Allie." Pain flitted through his eyes and he tried agonizingly to hide it from her, the sight making Kris avert his eyes in sadness.
He waited until he heard the door click shut behind her before turning back.
The pained flush was slowly resurfacing on Adam's face. His cheeks were not as pale and ashen white as they'd been, but pink where the bruises hadn't stained them, his lip was swollen and it trembled, and he was smiling hesitantly at Kris through the tension.
Kris smiled back tenderly, and his eyes roved over him anxiously. He could hear him shakily exhale, but he didn't look up right away, examining his friend curiously.
Then Adam swayed noticeably, his body crumpling in on itself as if his strength had left the room along with Allison. Kris jumped up and caught him in his arms, moving in to support him gently against his side, sliding one of Adam's arms around his waist to hold him steady.
His other arm came up to gratefully squeeze Kris' sleeve, his fingers bunching in the cloth. He was shaking, little tremors traveling throughout his body. Kris realized then that Adam had been fighting that whole time to look strong for Allie's benefit, hiding the fact that he was still struggling, the drugs had left him pained and weak, fighting it all himself.
"Are you all right, Adam?" He inquired, carefully bracing his shoulders and adjusting the pillow.
When he shrugged, he felt boneless and limp against Kris' side. "T-tired. S'all right if I lean on you?"
"Always," Kris assured him quietly.
He relaxed against his side, letting his weight settle into Kris. "Thanks. I'm sorry..."
"It's nothing," Kris replied, touched by the trusting way Adam's head rested against his smaller shoulder. He shifted, hoping the weaker man was comfortable, not wanting to hurt him more.
Adam sighed then. "Am I too heavy, K-Kris?" he asked. His voice was blurry, but a little sturdier now.
"Not at all." Kris told him.
"Good," he mumbled again. "Don't want to squish you." There was a tiny attempt at a chuckle. "Kris—" his voice wobbled a little, and he winced. "I'm really glad... that you're here."
Kris blinked rapidly to clear his vision. "I'm glad I am here, too. I don't want to be anywhere else," he whispered. "I—" He took a quick breath. "—and I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" His muscles tensed and he looked up into Kris' face, his forehead creasing and his eyes big. "Didn't I tell you to... quit apologizing?" he asked, sounding tired.
Kris indicated his wearied, damaged body with a nod of his head. "Sorry that you're like this. I tried to hard to save you from it all... and I truly am sorry, you don't deserve all this pain."
"Oh." He breathed strangely. His head shifted, cheek pressing into the corner of Kris' shoulder. "S'okay."
"Okay?" Kris choked out.
He shook his head. "It is, Kris. I thought... thought it was gonna be... so much worse. It c-could've been." He shivered, and Kris pulled the blanket up around him. "I . . . could f-feel the fire getting closer... s-saw things falling around me—the smoke, burning, Christian laying there… and I thought that was it... thought I was done. It was so dark. I-I couldn't b-breathe... " He took a deep breath, and Kris could feel any leftover terror of the accident gushing out of him. "But you saved me, Kris; didn't leave me... you saved me." There was a long pause while he turned his head. "Y-you shouldn't apologize. And I s-should... spend eternity thanking you."
An icy chill ran down Kris' spine. "That's not necessary. You... you would've done the same for me. I would never leave you, Adam," he said ferociously.
He smiled, closing his eyes. "I would do the same..." he said blurrily. "... I wouldn't leave you, Kris."
"I'm just sorry I didn't get to you sooner." Kris said, rubbing his friend's arm.
He rolled his head back, eyes flashing. "Again, with the apologies?" He smirked a little, bruised mouth quirking upward. "Stop it."
Kris shook his head. "I'm the one who screwed up here, Adam. If I feel the need to apologize for things over and over... let me."
He blinked. He seemed a little bit more awake now, the weak-haze fading from his eyes. "I don't want you to... to say sorry for t-things," he said. "Things that are irrelevant. I screwed up, too, remember?"
Kris stared at him.
"I—I shouldn't have assumed you did all those things merely selfishly," Adam told him. His voice wavered, only slightly. "I know you better than that. I'm supposed to be your f-friend. I should have tried to help you through... help you fix things with Katy. Not make it harder. I just wish—" He swallowed. "I just wish that we could take i-it all back," Kris nodded distantly in agreement. "Wish I would've dug deeper, f-figured out why you did what you did. But—it all hurt too much, and I just—I didn't want to know."
Kris was staring at some point on the far wall, eyes misty. "It's okay," he murmured. "Don't feel sorry about that. She's my wife. You're not obligated to get involved in my marital problems."
Adam sighed acceptingly. "You guys seem pretty good now," he said softly. "I noticed. And I-I'm glad... you need her. She needs you. I didn't realize wh-what a great, strong rel... relationship you two have. I was too worried that it was destroying o-ours. Stupid, I guess."
"No, Adam," Kris said. His throat had gone tight again. "Not stupid at all. I had given you reason to be worried about that."
His hand came up and squeezed Kris' shoulder. "You're my b-best friend," he said. "Should have trusted you."
Kris took a sharp breath. "Its okay, Adam."
"Thank you." He muttered; voice wispy.
"You're welcome," Kris responded softly, just as the door slid open and Stephanie stepped inside. Adam tried to struggle up to a straight, sitting position within his encircling arm as she crossed the room to them, and Kris steadied him.
"Better, Adam?" she asked, concerned. "Or worse?"
"B-better," he said, after a moment, and she smiled.
"I thought so," she said warmly. "It's going to be harder, now that you can feel the pain... those drugs we had you on aren't there to ease that, the healing's up to you now. And that's why I'm here actually."
"Okay," he said resolutely.
"You're looking better, too, Kris," she added. "I told you all you needed was some rest."
"You were right," Kris said. "I should've known better than to argue with you. I was just so worried about everyone else that I forgot to worry about myself."
"Self-sacrificing, sweet Kris," Stephanie teased gently. "Right, Adam?"
"She's got you... there, Kris." Adam's words were still slow with pain, but they were so much clearer.
Kris put up a hand. "I surrender. Two against one is not a fair battle. Now quit teasing."
She grinned. "Okay, serious talk now. What should I start with?"
Adam braced himself, stiffening beside Kris. "Just tell me... everything." He looked dizzy. "Please."
Kris, wanting to make sure he knew he wasn't alone, tightening his reassuring hold on Adam's arm.
She nodded. "All right. Well, as I'm sure you've figured out, it's not nearly as bad as it could have been. Your lungs are still a little weak, which is why you can't go back to singing straightaway, but they are going to heal completely. Your burns were moderate, but along the right shoulder it was particularly worrisome. You're definitely going to scar there, if not a little bit around the rest of it."
Adam closed his eyes for a moment, processing the information. "How bad?"
"Not too bad, really," She said, assuring. "Your upper back and along the back of your arm are only a little singed, and I doubt that'll scar at all, so, considering everything, you're getting off easy. It shouldn't curtail your ability to do anything at all."
Adam nodded, tired relief spreading across his face.
"As for your ankle," She continued, "Once you're up and about, we'll give you a crutch. It's only a sprain, but you have to take care of it, anyway. I assume you'll be on the move, which is why we're giving you a crutch, but make sure to rest it. It'll heal faster if you take it easy on that leg, and I'm sure Kris can help you make sure that happens."
Adam sighed, making him tremble a bit. "Great..." he said, and then his eyes rolled as he groaned. "Kris," he said urgently, laughing dryly. "You're going to have to help me... because I'm a cripple now, okay?"
"Of course. It'll be fine," Kris replied. "You'll be fine."
-------------------
The next day they'd all, sans Adam, been called in for another meeting with the producers, and by the end of it, Kris' heart was searing and mind reeling. Katy, bewildered, sat beside him, waiting for him to speak.
After a few minutes, she spoke up. "Kris...?"
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "We're leaving." This will work out. He assured himself silently.
"I know." She said softly. "I got a call, one of the producers."
"Tomorrow," he spoke again, sighing. "We have a new bus. New driver. We're leaving."
Her smile widened. "Well, it's sort of a good thing. I know that Adam is still weak, and not completely healed. But you can't stay here forever. And he's anxious... going a bit stir-crazy, I think. It's important... you have to move on. You swore to look after Adam's best interests, and I respect that, but Kris, maybe it's time to start pushing toward that complete recovery you want for him... away from this place."
He nodded seriously. "I understand why we're leaving, Katy. I don't want to stay in this place, either. I'm just worried."
She smiled sympathetically. "Everything'll be fine."
He shifted uneasily. Another thing was that if the tour was back underway, she'd be leaving him and going back to Conway, and there were so many things he wanted to talk over with her that he did not know where to begin, so many more things they needed to do to mend all the holes ripped in their marriage.
"I'm going to miss you, too," He said. "A lot." He sighed, thinking over the time they'd already spent on the road, fun and exciting in many ways, but scary and lonely at times as well. "I love you, Katy. I hope you know and remember that—you mean so much to me—and I didn't make sure I was expressing that enough until it was too late. And then I've been so caught up in Adam and this mess, I haven't spent a lot of time with you, and I'm sorry it turned out that way. Even now he's still fragile, and I know I'm going to be with him a lot." He looked down her hands in his. "But I'll call you everyday."
Katy leaned forward, resting a petal-soft kiss against his lips. He accepted it eagerly, twisting his fingers through her golden hair. "You worry so much, Kris," she said with a slight laugh in her voice as she pulled back, then she sobered. "You're right, it's a shame we'll be apart again. But it'll be okay, we'll learn from these past mistakes and be stronger because of them."
Kris nodded. "I only hope that in time, I can fix things, and we'll be back to the way we used to be" he said softly.
She gave a slight giggle. "You sell yourself short, baby. We're already halfway there. Everything's going to work out just fine, I think. With us... and with you and Adam."
Kris blinked softly, thinking.
She smiled. "He knows you care, baby. The foundation is there. You reached out to him and you pulled him back from the edge of near-death despite the fact that you'd just fought with him, despite everything that happened between you, and you did not abandon him even when he lashed out to try to make you leave him."
"I have always cared for him," Kris said decidedly.
She shook her head. "But you guys... your friendship has grown stronger. You find comfort in each other, you long for his approval, he wants yours. I'm sure he feared once that you could never accept him as he was, that there were so many differences between you that it was impossible to build a relationship, but you've done just that. And I'm proud of you."
"You're right," He agreed wearily. "There's a part of my old self that I'm sure would've hesitated to become such good friends with Adam... and right now I kind of want to go back in time and kick that part of myself in the face."
"There's the beauty in it." She breathed. "And that's why I'm so glad your friendship wasn't ruined, it's a part of you now, Kris. You're not yourself without him."
"No, I'm not." He admitted. "Katy—" Kris started then, fumbling for words. "I—"
She chuckled happily. "Its okay, Kris; I am happy... so happy. And I know you are too - underneath all that worry, that tiredness, everything... you are too."
"Everything is going to be okay." He realized, nodding.
She kissed him again, and then squeezed his hand. "I love you." He returned the phrase, grateful for all of her words. As she withdrew from his arm, he caught a glance of Stephanie in the hall and hurried to catch her attention.
Katy hung back a bit, politely. "Stephanie," He greeted carefully, noting her stressed face, and guessing she was in charge of their pre-departure preparations.
She smiled irritably. "Oh, hey, Kris... I assume you want to talk about the decision to leave."
"Kind of," He said cautiously. "I hear Allison and the some of the others are going to meet the new driver today and then the bus is coming here to pick us all up. I wanted to know what was going on as far as you and what you have to do. If I can help or anything."
Her face was crinkled in worry.
"Is something wrong?" He asked.
"No... really, it's okay. I'm just worried about you all, and I hope your producers don't push recovery on you too fast after all you've been through. I think they're rushing things a little."
"It's possible," He agreed. "You don't think Adam's ready?" He prompted gently, somewhat afraid of her answer.
She sighed. "I'm not sure, but I have confidence that you'll take care of him. He's still weak and in pain, but I'm sure you'll make sure he's okay."
"Of course." He assured her, concern for his best friend surging into his voice plainly.
She sighed. "I'll sort of miss taking care of you crazy Idol people... never a dull moment." She giggled dryly. "You want to see him, don't you?"
For the first time since they'd come there, Adam reacted immediately when Kris entered his room, rolling onto his side and twisting around to look over at him.
He knew that meant he was gradually gaining strength, and he felt almost weak with relief, alongside all of the concern still bundled in his heart.
A faint smile touched Adam's lips. "Kris," he greeted; his voice still soft.
"Hello, Adam," He said. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," he said without much conviction. His response seemed vague and offhand, as if he were sick of answering it.
Katy stepped into the room behind him then, and Kris glanced up, smiling lovingly as she approaching, taking his arm. Adam's eyes flickered toward her in recognition and started to slide away tiredly— but then he pushed himself up with one arm and looked closer at her, then back at Kris. His eyes widened, and a real smile started to spread across his features, a bright, happy grin as Kris hadn't seen since... he didn't know when. Kris could feel his cheeks heat up, as he grinned sheepishly, Adam's thoughtful eyes reading them carefully.
"I can't believe it," he said, and even his voice sounded stronger. There was a sparkle in his eyes, cutting through the murky gloom that had enshrouded them ever since they'd fought. "Kris... you're blushing. You two lovebirds. You look so... " He chuckled. "Happy. Did you finally kiss?" He asked perceptively. "Because I'm not stupid, Kris... things are a little... t-tense between you and.... and I sort of told her to p-put the moves... on you."
"I—" Kris started, then realized he had no idea what he was going to say, he was too caught up in all that he saw in Adam's bright face, his teasing demeanor. Finally, he managed to reply teasingly, "I'll thank you to keep yourself out of things that don't concern you, Adam."
Unfazed, he turned to Katy when she giggled. "You're blushing, too," he said in a tone of excitement. "This is awesome." His gaze swung back to Kris quickly. "Perfect."
"Adam Lambert..." Kris admonished sharply. "What are you suggesting? Explain yourself."
His grin widened. "Shut up, Kris, you did. You kissed her, I know it." His smile turned sly and teasing. "'Bout time, by the way... it's been a l-long time comin', Krissy, next step... more corporeal relations."
"Adam!" He exclaimed, shocked by his words. But a laugh rumbled into his throat and he nearly let it out, gasping.
Adam laughed wholeheartedly, chest heaving a little. It sounded like old times, the sound so surprising and welcome that it almost brought tears to Kris' eyes. "So predictable," he said quietly, "I was only teasing."
"I don't know if I should be angry with you for that comment or merely annoyed," Kris managed, trying to keep a straight face. "Katy, ignore the immature one."
Adam's eyes danced. "Ignore me? First of all... that's a very difficult task, I'm p-practically un-ignorable. Secondly... you two came in here, visiting me. And now you say 'ignore me'? Yeah... right."
"I would appreciate a bit more discretion on your part, Adam," Kris said fake-grumpily.
He chuckled again and lay back down on the bed. "All right, I'm done teasing," he said. "All right." He sighed and glanced back toward Katy, seeing that she too, had an amused grin on her face. "What now?"
Kris moved toward him and started to give him an answer, but right at that moment the door to the room slid open behind them.
All three of them turned toward it, and in came Allison and Megan.
Adam sat up sharply, then hissed in pain at the reckless action, grimacing. He looked away for a split-second before turning back, smiling at them.
"Girls?" Kris said in surprise.
"The bus is ready so, uh... the producers said we... we— should leave now," Allison said. She took a deep breath. "Danny and Scott are coming with us, too. I—I had to come to let you guys know." She shook her head, looking at Adam. "I don't know if this is a good idea."
"No," Adam said rather loudly, protesting. "Please go, Allie. Please. It— it's time. Don't worry about me." Kris could see him swallow hard. "And—and I'm okay. I—I feel better. It'll be good to get out of here—away from this mess." Kris nodded at his words, heartened by them.
"It may seem scary," Megan said. "But we have to. It's time to go. We have to start picking up the pieces... Adam?"
Adam had winced for a long moment, turning away. But then he glanced up at Megan with a shaky grin. "I'm fine, fine..." He muttered awkwardly.
"Allie- Adam's not completely better or recovered, none of us are." Kris smiled sadly, hating the look on the young girl's face as she gazed worriedly at Adam. "But we can't hide from the reality of the situation, which says it's time for us to get moving."
Adam looked up at her then, grinning. "S-stop worrying about me," he said in a slightly trembling voice. He paused and finished more resolutely, "I'm going to be okay. I want this."
"You'd better be okay," Allison returned quickly, with a touch of a teasing threat.
Adam chuckled and shook his head. "You all need to have a little more faith in me, alright?" he returned, and then his gaze sobered. "I can do this," he said. "Please." He looked toward Kris, and his throat constricted as he continued, "We can't just sit around here forever," he said softly. "Pardon the theatre kid m-mantra, but 'the show m-must go on' ... I'm ready."
"I'll take care of him, Allie," Kris said with gentle honesty. "You know I will."
She nodded and took a deep breath. "I know," she whispered.
"Come here," Adam said, scooting over and outstretching his arms to her.
She ran forward and hugged him tightly, not holding back. "Oh, Adam. Adam..."
He tilted his head back and rubbed her back soothingly. "Everything's going to be okay, Allie-Cat," he whispered to her.
"If you don't s-stop this and g-get better, I'll go crazy," She said warningly, but her voice shook.
"I will," Adam replied immediately, confidently. "I—I promise. You won't need to go to that extreme."
"Good," she said, and then she pulled away. "See you, Adam."
"Chin up," he replied, his hand squeezing tight around her arm for one moment as Megan put an arm over him too, and then he let go, and they both stepped away. "Now go," he said, with a slight push. "Go, all right?"
Allison nodded and backed away. "See you soon," she said, and then paused, remembering. "It'll be so weird having someone else driving us around. But the new driver - apparently she's a big fan of yours, Adam."
"Tell her hello from me," Adam said; his voice tight as he managed to stay upright, though faltering slightly. "Goodbye."
Megan nodded. "Goodbye," she repeated lamely, and they left the room.
Adam collapsed onto the bed and closed his eyes, not holding back anymore. Kris moved toward him and laid one hand on his shoulder, trying to offer him what comfort and support he could when he knew he was still weak and pained.
"It will be all right," Kris repeated Adam's own words, quietly.
Adam sighed, and his body relaxed, though his eyes remained closed. "Thanks, Kris," he managed.
"Mrs. Allen?" Came an unfamiliar voice, and Kris immediately looked up. A man stood in the doorway, and Kris realized vaguely that this was the man who had been hired to drive Katy to the hospital from the airport. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," His wife said shakily, then looked to him. "Almost."
"Ready?" Kris repeated quickly.
She looked toward him, and her eyes were sad. "I'm sorry, Kris," she said. "You probably saw this coming even though they scheduled a flight out so suddenly, that's what the call was... I—I've decided to go back to Conway today, since the producers arranged all this for me, free. You're okay here, and I don't want to drag things out and make them more painful, and... it's time for me to leave this place. You don't need me right now. I've got a flight out this afternoon. I—" she sighed. "I've done all I can," she said, then shook her head. "Oh, damn it," she said, frustrated, then smiled, "I'm no good at saying goodbye," and she leapt forward to fling her arms around Kris and press her lips to his in a fervent kiss.
Kris could vaguely hear Adam chuckle pleasantly in the background, but he melted into the kiss.
She pulled away after a moment. "Remember to call me," she said fiercely. "Everyday, keep me posted. About Adam too, I want to know how he's doing, along with you."
"Don't worry, Katy—" Adam piped up softly, grinning. "I'll watch over your boy-toy. Make sure he doesn't... wear himself out, or s-stick his fingers in any electrical sockets."
"What?" Kris spat out incredulously. "Her boy-toy?"
Katy smiled and shook her head, giggling. "Good," she said, and then turned back to Kris. "Be careful. And safe. I never want to get a strange call late at night about you or see you on the news in some emergency again."
"I'll be careful," Kris replied.
"You too, Adam." She sent him an admiring grin. "Trouble seems to follow you around."
"Yeah, yeah..." Adam mumbled dismissively.
She laughed. "I love you," she touched Kris' cheek, then smiled and let go of him, stepping out of his arms.
Kris cleared his throat, and glanced to Adam, who was smiling at the couple. "Katy," he said quickly. "I—ah—I—"
"Goodbye, Kris," she said. "I'll see you again before you know it."
He beamed then. "Thank you for coming to me, Katy," he professed. "I needed you here. And I love you too." She looked over at him, her eyes lingering for a long moment, and she swallowed, grinning.
Kris stared back. "Well, I guess you'd better go," he said, seeing the impatient look on the driver's face.
And she nodded, leaving the room.
------------------
Darkness. It was all around him, swirling in a smoky haze. He coughed roughly, eyes stinging. He was searching through the hot blackness, for something important, something that would make everything right, back the way it should be.
Because now, at this moment, everything was wrong. Everything.
Kris' throat was tight and aching with tears that he would not shed, could not shed, because the panicked lump in his throat barely let him breathe. His hand clenched tightly around the hot metal, grinding to rasp against another metal. The glowing orange in the front sent a sickly ghost-light through the overwhelming darkness. Everything around him but the large piece of metal and the death-pale features of the forlorn figure lying before him was nothing more than a confused, ever-shifting blur.
He slumped on his knees, his eyes huge and bruised and glassy with a wet sheen in the darkness. He blinked slowly, and said nothing as he knelt there, utterly helpless. Adam was there, his breathing coming in low, harsh pants and his shoulders heaving. He looked as if he had been completely torn apart and dismantled, everything within him that defined him and made him who he was, Kris' best friend, gone. He was broken - shuddering and gasping. His sad, battered eyes seemed to pierce the fabric of Kris' soul, and something in him wanted to scream.
"I'm sorry, Kris," came that raspy, weak voice, clutching him as it echoed through the darkness.
A thousand voices screeched through Kris, voices that yearned for Adam, cried for him, voices that screamed at him to save him, to help him. Adam was sobbing weakly now, Allison screaming his name.
Adam closed his eyes and fell brutally away from the world, closed the last doors of his mind and shut Kris out with a finality that seemed to ring and in his head, and then, with a shaking breath, fell completely limp.
Eyes drowned pools of sorrow, watered and hopeless, Kris whispered brokenly. "No! Please, Adam, don't ... don't do this. Come back."
His plea did nothing. The fire raged on.
-----------------
The raw, terrified yelp brought Adam awake all at once, gasping, startled. Trembling, he was immediately alert, out of a sound sleep.
Kris had fallen asleep awkwardly curled into the chair at his side, and Stephanie, sympathetic, made Adam promise not to tell her supervisor if she let him stay there, not wanting to wake him up. She had pointed quietly to the bed left vacant on the other side of the room, then left.
Adam recognized it as Kris' voice, filled with pain and dread. So much so that it made his heart turn over and curl up into a bunch of despaired knots.
"No!!!" The shout came again, wavering a bit and slightly less loud.
Adam surged upward and ignored the white-hot pain that seared through him as he did so, almost collapsing toward the chair, but recovering himself in time. He paused and waited for his breath to return to its normal pattern, and the adrenaline rush faded, along with his speeding heart rate.
Kris was sprawled fitfully into the chair, grimacing in the throes of a nightmare.
His breaths were wild and filled with tears and fear and Adam moved forward, not feeling the pain twinge as he leaned over, nearly off the bed completely to reach Kris.
Ragged, tiny sobs shook Kris' body, but he didn't wake. He was soaked in a cold sweat. Adam's mouth dropped open at the sight, his friend tossing a bit, looking almost feverish.
His eyes snapped open when Adam could finally touch him, but no recognition lit up within them as he glanced frantically about. He was still lost somewhere within. "No," he moaned, and Adam winced as Kris dug his nails into his arm. "No, please, no—Adam, no—"
Shock registered distantly within him somewhere to hear his own name on those shaking lips, but he wasted no time on the foolish reaction. He pulled forward and shook Kris gently, before taking his tear-stained face into his trembling hands. "Easy," He soothed him, hoping he'd wake up then. "Easy, Kris, easy... it's just a dream, only a dream, wake up now. I'm here."
Kris flinched at the sound of his voice; and squeezed his eyes shut, groaning louder. He writhed a bit in Adam's weak embrace, panicking still as if something terrible were happening. "Adam, Allison—please—no, no," he sobbed quietly as he fought against the touch. His arms flailed, batting weakly at Adam, and he shrunk back.
He moaned again, then pressed his lips tight together, salty tears still falling, then surged upward, slamming up against Adam. He was unprepared for Kris' sudden movement, and hit him in the chest near the collarbone, as Kris struggled to escape whatever he was dreaming.
Adam ignored the dull pain and wrapped his arms tight around him before sinking weakly back, pulling him close against him, pressing his face against his ear, feeling the thundering pulse of Kris' racing heart.
The smaller man's body stiffened then, and relaxed, and went limp in his arms, crying softly. He rubbed his hands gently in circles on the smaller man's back. "Kris?" He ventured quietly. "Can you hear me?"
Kris tore himself out of Adam's hold suddenly and roughly, sending streams of pain shooting through him, and collapsed back against the chair before he could steadying himself, eyes bulging. "... Adam?" he blurted, confused. "No— I was... you..."
Adam took a breath, wincing. He sat up with difficulty. "Kris?" his voice faltered, uncertain. "Kris, its okay... you were just dreaming..."
He turned his face away, shocked for a moment, then looked back at Adam, eyes big. "You—left me, Adam," he said softly, his voice shaking violently. "You were gone. I-I tried to save you."
Tears still shimmering in his eyes, he started to realize what had happened. "I'm sorry," he sighed, and reached out a trembling hand to brush his fingers over his cheeks, scrubbing the frightened tears away. Then he his head jerked upward and he looked to his friend, astonished. "Oh my God, did I hurt you? Shit... I'm sorry... I..." He swallowed hard. "I thought I lost you... it was so real... back on that bus, the smoke... you were..." He broke off, trying to calm himself down.
Adam reached out a comforting arm toward his friend, but couldn't suppress a wince and small wispy breath of pain, his chest aching where Kris had unknowingly slammed into him.
"I did hurt you," Kris' jaw was slack, and he leaned forward, eyes wide with remorse. "Oh my God, I..."
"It was an accident," Adam said softly. "You didn't mean to." He took a breath. "And it was my fault; I'm the one... who was t-trying to grab you like that. I thought y-you weren't gonna... w-wake up for a second there."
He stared at Adam, lost in thought, and his chin trembled slightly. His hand tightened around his friend's arm; as if afraid he'd disappear. "T-Thank you." he stammered. A little gasp. "For waking me up. That was—terrible—"
Adam could almost see the awful images of the nightmare cloaking the light from Kris' eyes, and he swallowed, sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Kris. But it was just a d-dream... it's okay."
"Are you all right?" Kris asked seriously, suddenly urgently concerned, needing to know if he'd hurt his best friend.
"Fine," Adam winced a little when Kris pressed a hand where he'd knocked into him obliviously, and Kris' frown deepened considerably. "You pack a hell of a punch, Allen." He chuckled weakly. "I'm really starting to learn... that y-you're a lot stronger than you look."
"God, I'm sorry." And he was, his whole being shifted to sad and remorseful, his voice was small and quiet.
Adam sent Kris a look of concern and caring. "You didn't know—you were completely lost in that dream, Kris," he whispered. "I had to wake you up. You—screamed—and—you were crying—"
Kris mussed his hair a bit, steadying his own breathing, and then withdrew his hand from Adam's arm. "I never have nightmares," he mused. "I thought it was real. You didn't make it out; I didn't get to you in time." He stared down at his hands, Adam now seeing tiny black singe-marks on each of his fingertips, and then one side of his mouth quirked up slightly. "And I woke you up..." he finally said in a tired voice, hoarse from the after-effects of his hysteria. "Sorry about that."
Adam smiled at him, and shrugged lightly. "It's all r-right. You said I scared the shit out of you, I figure... its only fair that y-you return the favor."
Kris laughed dryly, and then seemed to realize what time it was, seeing the darkness outside the window and the shadow of confusion flitted across his face.
"S-Stephanie said it was okay." Adam answered the unasked question. "As long as... her supervisor doesn't find out you were i-in here."
He shrugged. "Okay, then." Then, he took a deep, shaking breath and stared down at the blanket, eyes blank again, back into the world of his thoughts, his fingers brushing back and forth against the frame of the bed.
He swallowed painfully. "I—I dreamed that you were gone, Adam. You and A-Allison and—and—" He looked up at his friend, and his eyes were desolate. "And that almost happened—s-so it felt real—and God… that was a mess... I—I—"
"Stop!" He looked up in surprise at Adam's commanding exhale. "Stop," Adam begged. "Don't torture yourself... it was a dream, Kris. You're tired and you've been through hell and back, several times really... I know you're scared, but it is f-foolish to torment yourself over a dream when you were... just starting to recover and feel more like... y-your old self."
Kris' eyes looked vulnerable, but his mouth settled into a thin, accepting line. "I'm sorry—" he said. "I couldn't bear it if I lost you, Adam. Or Allison. That's all—"
Adam reached out and touched his hand gently, cutting him off. "Come on," he said. "You need sleep."
"All right, then," he said, forcing calm into his voice, and Adam could tell he was ashamed for waking him up, and felt guilty.
He was too tired to protest though, when Adam insisted he move over to the other, vacant bed on the opposite side of the room, instead of curling back into that stiff, hard chair at Adam's side.
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