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Cera: Rise of The Lost Princess

by: Sorrowful Princess

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- Life is unfair, but it becomes perfect when you learn to appreciate it.

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-x- Grief -x-

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"Mikan, honey, I've baked some cookies. Your favorite." Mom said in a very light and happy tone as she handed me the freshly-baked cookies. I smiled.

"Thanks, mom." I took the plate of cookies, picked one, and began nibbling absent-mindedly. As I nibbled, I wandered my eyes around the kitchen, not sure why I did so. Maybe I just wanted to be distracted so that I won't remember the...

"You look hideous, sweetheart." she pointed out. "Like you haven't slept for a century. Is there something the matter?" she asked, worried.

I shook my head but didn't bother to smile. "Nothing," I mumbled. "It's just... just a bad dream."

"Well, if it was a bad dream, don't you think it would be a good idea to tell your mommy what it was? You know, to let out all the negative feelings that were piling on that small heart of yours." She placed her warm hand over my chest as she said this, and I honestly felt a little better. Maybe I should really tell mom.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. But I didn't try to search my brain for the memory of the dream. I could remember it clearly unlike any other dreams I've had. Maybe because this one felt damn real.

"I was... cleaning the attic. Then I saw a medallion, a really weird stuff. It has weird carvings on it, and I read aloud what was written on its back. Suddenly, I'm burning. I couldn't really remember for how long. But all I know was that when I woke up, I wasn't in this world anymore. I was drifted to another world, somewhere unfamiliar."

She listened intently. She even leaned her head so that she could hear my words closer.

"I met a guy there, and he told me that the world I was drifted was in the middle of a war. He told me to come with him for more explanation, and I did, knowing I was safe with that stranger. He led me to a palace and introduced me to the most powerful persona in Cera---it was the name of the Kingdom I was in. Then things started to get confusing and crazy. They told me that I was the Princess of Cera and that I wasn't sent there. Rather, I was brought back. They even gave me the whole history of my identity, telling me that my parents were the King and Queen, and that I have a twin. It was all sickening.

"I wanted to go home but they won't let me. They told me I should not leave, and that I have nowhere else to go. I was already hysterical that I shouted and yelled at them at the top of my lungs. I kept on denying and denying what they were telling me, but..." I trailed off, not wanting to continue anymore. I hated that part the most.

"But?" my mother asked, totally in the story.

I took a deep breath again. "But it was just a bad dream." I quickly change the direction of my words. "A very bad dream. And I'm glad that it was not true, that I was here, eating cookies with you."

"Wasn't being a Princess a good thing?" She countered, trying to figure out why I hated the dream so much.

"If not being able to go home and... and not seeing you again, my family, were the conditions as to being the Princess, I'd rather clean a million attic than trade you just to be a freaking spoiled brat lying on a bed of gold and jewels. I-I---" I stopped short. The words I am about to say were the hardest and the most embarrassing to say. "I love you, mom. I love you all. And I can't be away from you. I just can't."

A warm and very soothing smile touched her face, and seeing this made me feel better again. It feels so good to be awake, to be away from the bad things. Just then, Dad and Brix came up behind me.

"Ready?" Dad asked, though not for me, but for mom.

Mom nodded.

Curious, I asked, "Ready for what?"

Then suddenly, the brightness of the whole place dimmed, and I felt the weight of a thousand pound metal on me.

"We're leaving, Mikan." was Dad's simple reply, but his face was hard and emotionless. We're leaving... what did he mean?

"W-Where are we going? Are we moving to another house again?" I asked, puzzled, and a bit against. I don't want to move again. Don't want to leave. Moving was such a pain.

"No," he said flatly. "We are leaving." he emphasized the word 'we' with bitterness. I was taken a back for a second. This was not the way Dad talks. Usually, he's sweet. This was not the way he used to talk. Definitely not. I felt a little twinge of pain in my chest when he said the word 'we', and I wonder why...

It hit me then. The realization. What he really meant. "Y-You're... leaving?" I choked out. "You, Mom, and Brix? And where are you all going? Are you going to leave me here? All alone?" My voice cracked at the end of the sentence. But I didn't mind it. I faced my big brother, Brix.

"Brother, tell me this is just a sick joke. You're not really planning on leaving me, are you?" I'm getting all emotional here, but I couldn't help myself. I had just had a bad dream. I still can't get rid of the images in my head. I'm still afraid of it. And this 'leaving' thingy they're putting up isn't helping me recover.

I touched my brother's shoulders and began shaking them frantically. "You're not actually planning on ditching me, are you? You can't possibly leave your little sister here, right, brother?"

But he was not affected by any of my questions. He was just like my father, hard and emotionless. He looked mechanically into my eyes, like he was some kind of robot. I flinched at how different he looked. Where's my old goofy brother?

"You are not my sister." he said with a disgusted tone. "You never were. And will never be. You do not belong here." and with that, he shook my hands off his shoulder.

Tears started trickling down my face, and I used the back of my hand to wipe them away, but it just kept flowing and flowing... endlessly. "No," I mumbled. "I am your family." I looked into my Mom and Dad's mechanical faces. "I am your daughter!" I said, almost shouting. I looked at my brother. "I am your sister!" Tears trickled by faster and faster. "And you cannot do this to me!"

"Yes, we certainly can, for we do not care for you." they all said in unison with the same dead expressions.

I hugged them, pulling them closer to me... desperately. "No, you cannot." I said weakly. "You love me." and it wasn't a question. It was a statement. They love me. Period.

"We do not," they said again in unison, and they began loosening my hold on them.

"No," I mumbled. "Please, don't do this to me. Please." I pleaded.

But they didn't listen, and once they were free from my grasp, they began walking away from me. The scene had completely changed then. The kitchen vanished, and the endless darkness took its place. I fell to my knees, feeling all defeated. How could I stop them if they don't want to be stopped? How could I make them return if they do not want to return? How could I make them love me again if they don't want to love anymore? How?!

I got up to my feet and began running after them. "Wait!" I called up. "Please, don't do this! Please, please, please!" I pleaded desperately.

But they didn't even look back. Suddenly, they began to fade. And I could no longer see them anymore. They were gone, and I was left alone in the darkness. I, once again, fell to my knees. I cried. And that was all I could do. Just cry. I wasn't able to stop them. And it was my fault. Because I haven't been strong enough to do so. But strength was just a minor factor. The major was... the fact that I really do not belong to them. I just wished I do. But really, I was nothing but an adopted kitten to them. And I could not do anything... but cry.

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My eyes flew open, wet and blurry. I could still feel the weight of a thousand pound metal on me. I blinked, and the tears rolled down my face. But I am glad, that what happened back there in my family was just a bad dream. I am glad that I have woken up, and I am glad that all of those stuffs and Princess thingy weren't the least bit true. I know it all wasn't true. 'Cause there's possibly no way it could be. I wonder what mom made for breakfast this morning. I'm pretty hungry.

Yes, I'm glad, because I know it was just a dream, because I know that I have just woken up from it and now was lying on my bed that... wait, something's not right. This isn't my bed. It felt... different.

My heart thudded. Oh God, please don't tell me...

I wiped my eyes so that I could see better and clearer. I looked around. At first, I wasn't able to make sense of my surroundings. But after a few moments of speculating, I found out that I was inside an enormous room, lying on an enormous bed, and that I slept definitely not in my room. My heart thudded again. The place didn't look familiar and that wasn't a good sign. If those things were really just a bad dream, shouldn't I have woken up on my own bed? In my own house?

Then, as I was thinking that through, I heard the voice I don't want to hear the most, spoke the word that I so desperately wish he didn't speak.

"Princess," Ruka called softly. He was by the door.

Tears ran down my face again, and I put both of my hands in my face. This can't be... This can't be freaking true! Ruka was on my side then, comforting me, or at least he was trying. There was nothing that could comfort me now. Now that it was made final. I could not go home, and I would have to live here, forever.

"Princess, I am so sorry to do that to you last night. But it was necessary. I really regret using my powers on you." he tried to explain. He kneeled on the floor by the side of my bed and bowed his head. "I truly am sorry."

More tears trickled. I stood up, went over to him, and slapped his face. "I hate you!" I shrieked. "I really, really, hate you! You should have let me go! You should have let me go back!" I yelled.

He didn't move from his position. He didn't say anything. Furious as I am, I threw my fists again at him just like what I did last night. This time, he was able to feel the impact of my punches (If you could call it like that) even if it was just as light as feathers. He wasn't on his armor today.

"It was all your fault! It was all your freaking fault!" I shouted but he kept still. So still I could have thought he was dead.

When I finally got tired of shouting and screaming, my knees gave out. So much for playing all tough. I landed in front of him, and his face flickered to me, wearing a very worried expression. Feeling all weak, I sobbed in his chest. My whole body was trembling then. And there was no sound except for my low whimpers. He kept still, not wrapping his arms around me like any other guy could have done in this situation, but at least, he did not try to move away from me like any guy who hated me could have done.

We stayed like that for a while, and I continued to sob. Freaking tears doesn't seem to be out of supply.

I'm so mortified with what happened in that dream. And I was so glad when I thought I have woken up from it. Just the thought of my family leaving me was too much. How much more when it actually happens? Or when it had already happened? I thought I have already escaped. Yes, I have escaped from the dream. But how will I escape from this? From the truth?

Dream or not dream. Doesn't make such a difference. And I could do nothing about it. Dream or not dream, I'll still be imprisoned in this place. Imprisoned forever... with no visits from my most beloved family.

I wished I have known all this before actually happening. In that way, I could at least clean the whole house for my mother, make Dad his favorite pasta, buy big bro an I-POD like he always asked me as a birthday present. We could take a picture of us, of the whole family. In that way, I could tell them how much they mean to me, how much I loved them, and how much grateful I am for giving me the chance to be a part of their family.

I've never been enthusiastic on bonding moments. Picnics... swimming... family trips... I've always refused to join them in those kinds of activities because I thought they were embarrassing. But now, I could no longer join them even if I want to. Because now, it's already impossible. Like a bird trying to breathe on water. Like a dog trying to fly. Really, you are ought to want what you very most can't have.

I wished I have known earlier. In that way, I could tell them... goodbye.

So that was it. That was why I'm crying. I'm crying, because I am full of regret, piled up tight and sickening in my heart. Regret for not being good to them, regret for not spending more time with them, regret for all the fight I've put up, regret for all the worries I gave them, regret for all the stubbornness, regret for not loving them to the extent, regret for not treasuring them, regret for not realizing all this early.

I wish I could go back. I wish I could hug them. I wish I could tell them everything I felt for them. I wish, I wish, I wish... All I could do now is wish. And that's the most painful of all.

I don't know how long I've been crying. I've completely lost track of time. Doesn't seem to matter, anyway.

Ruka still hasn't moved from where he was. And I haven't moved from his chest, either. I looked up at his face. He was anxious. I instantly felt guilty. I removed my face from his chest and straightened myself up, wiping tears as I did. I sat across of him.

I bowed my head, still wiping the tears away. "I-I'm sorry." I started, my voice so low. I wonder if he heard it. "I didn't mean to put all the blame on you. It's just..." I trailed off.

Now he looked more anxious. "Princess, please, don't apologize. It was not your fault. It was ours. We were too harsh." he said, trying to ease up my guilt.

I disagree with that. They weren't harsh. I am. They did nothing but to tell the truth, but all I did was whine and shout and scream like biatch.

"No," I countered. "I really shouldn't have blamed you. I really don't know what got into me to do such thing. I guess I just wanted to blame someone for all these things to cover up my remorse. I wanted someone to hate with. So that I could turn all this regret to anger. You know, anger was way easier to deal with."

"You really don't have to apologize, Princess." he said softly. "If hating me would make you feel better, I won't mind the blame. It was such an honor to be of help to you, Princess. Much more to make you feel better." his words soothed me, and I was already calm.

"It's just..." I started again. "I just miss them so much. I miss them badly."

He looked deep into my eyes, his blue eyes burning with sincerity. "I'm so sorry you are suffering, Princess. Just tell me if there's anything I could do to ease some of the pain. I won't hesitate to do it. Except for asking me to bring you home. That was one thing I can't give you, Princess. Please do forgive me."

He is too kind. And it's making things much harder. Why does he have to be like this? I slapped him hard. I slapped him so hard that a faint red spot tainted his perfect cheeks. And yet... he was being so considerate and understanding of me. I do not deserve his comfort. A tear escaped from the corners of my eyes and made its way to my chin and down to the floor. It made a soft dropping sound. But other than that, nothing was to be heard. It was a complete silence.

He remained still just like earlier, his breathing steady and calm.

"Can you please... leave me alone?" I asked in a small, weak voice after a long while, breaking the icy silence. "Just for a while. I promise I won't try to run away. I-I just need..." I trailed off, but he didn't need to hear my next words. He knows. And he understands. And I am truly grateful for that.

Slowly, he stood up, his eyes kept on the floor, but I could see the warmth and consideration it emits from the depths. When he was firm on his stand, he looked at me and half-smiled. He seemed so genuine. I can't believe I actually blamed this gentle man for everything. I smiled in return, just a small, apologetic smile, and thanked him with my eyes. He bowed his head courteously---a gesture of respect, and turned around, heading for the door. He opened it, and with one quick glance in my direction, left without another word.

Once I'm finally all alone, I went to the bed and buried my face on the pillow, letting the tears fall silently. The Denitra was right. I knew he was right. But I denied this fact, for I can't accept that I am not a simple being just like I always thought I was. It was like poof! And then my life changed drastically.

My family... it hurts to think I'm not really a part of them... and that I won't be able to spend the rest of my life with them. It hurts to think I won't see them anymore. But it hurts more to think that my real family here suffered a great deal. My parents died pitifully, while my twin was nowhere to be found. The Kingdom suffered as well, for they have nothing to support them. I guess the last 20 years was a chaos, and I did nothing in the other world but think of things that don't really matter. Things that are not significant. I grew up worrying about my boring life.

Yes, I always complained about my life. Of how plain, simple, and boring it was. I never felt contentment. I always seek better things, not knowing that the best things were just right in front of me. I was so inconsiderate, and I didn't even think of others that time. I was selfish, and even now I could say I am still the same. I only think of myself. And before I knew it, I lost everything I had. My adoptive world... I'm grateful I got the chance to live my seventeen years in there. It was such a nice thing. An unforgettable experience. And it was something I'll never gain back.

I know. Things won't get any better if I keep on thinking these things. But I just want to fill my mind with them, memories that I don't even know if I have the rights to own them. I suppose things are not as simple and boring like I always thought it was.

Facts... Truth... Who knew they could be this complicated? Somewhere inside me, a question was begging to be answered.

Why? Why, of all people, should I be the Princess?

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to be continued...

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A/N: Hello guys, been a while, huh? Did you get a little frustrated with my delayed update? I'm so sorry. I'm just so busy. I hate college works. But I love the college life! I mean, it's fun! But anyway, did you like the chapter? I guess not. I must assume you felt bored while reading this? Don't worry though. It'll get exciting on the upcoming chapters. And one more thing, readers:

Natsume will be in the story soon. Lend me your patience please..

I want to take things nice and slow, so that there'll be little flaw. (Wow, that rhymes! Haha!) Support me!

Review please. My next update would depend on your reviews. If the reviews and demands were high, I'll probably upload RIGHT AWAY. Yeah, I already got the next chapter ready. I hope you're looking forward to it!

So, hm, that's it I think?

Til next time!

Thanks for reading!

Lovelots,

-Eurice-

PS: Please read my first ever completed story, "How Far Can Idiocy Go?". It's quite entertaining, I promise you. To those who have already read it, thanks so much. It's by far my most catchy story.