Reno woke up feeling agitated. He dressed in a huff, not even bothering to knot his tie. He simply hung it around his neck before leaving. Rude was still passed out on his couch and Reno knew the longer he slept the better off he would be later.
He got to the roof early and sat to wait, cigarettes in hand. He sighed and silently cursed Rude and Gareth for snatching sleep from him. Gareth had worked him up so bad that by the time he got to sleep his dreams were heated and restless and punctuated by the sound of retching. He hadn't been able to truly get to sleep during the night because Rude would wake him up frequently, and very much by accident, when he would groan or vomit in his sleep. Reno would always go out to make sure Rude wasn't drowning in a pool of his own puke. He wasn't angry at either of them, knowing that they had both simply gotten drunk and had been unable to truly control their actions. He wished Gareth had had more self control though, he could have done without the dreams.
He began puffing out smoke rings as he scanned the roof entrances for Tseng. He had found what he thought to be a highly defensible position where no one could sneak up on him and his straining nerves and if nothing else he was out of the chill winds that blew debris across the roof. He sat until his ass went numb and then he sat some more. He was ridiculously bored and it was hard for him to keep his mind from wandering back to the 'couch incident', as he was beginning to refer to it, which was only serving to stress him out more. He had lost count of the number of cigarettes he had smoked in the past half hour but he knew it was probably more than he should and that they were doing next to nothing to make him feel any calmer. If anything they were serving to stress him out more. He flicked his finished cigarette across the pavement and lit up another, trying to burn the memory out of his head without burning his fingers.
When he finally saw Tseng he was almost ecstatic with relief at the idea of not being by himself anymore. His own thoughts were seeming to betray him. Tseng walked calmly over to his corner hideout and eyed the cigarettes littering the ground with distaste, "You're early."
"How early?" Reno raised an eyebrow as he puffed a smoke ring in Tseng's direction.
"I didn't expect you for another half hour." Tseng grimaced and waved away the smoke ring that was invading his breathing space.
"Had a rough night yo." Reno shrugged and puffed out another cloud of smoke.
"I figured you would. Matt told me Rude didn't look good when he left and he said Gareth was planning on paying you a visit. I assume they are the cause of the many cigarettes you're poisoning yourself with?" Tseng kicked a cigarette butt with his shoe.
"Good assumption there boss." Reno chuckled.
"Wanna discuss it?" Tseng looked less than eager to 'discuss it'. Of course Tseng generally looked less than eager to do anything.
"Not your problem." Reno smashed his cigarette into the pavement.
"Suit yourself." Tseng almost looked relieved as he walked towards the helicopter.
Reno stood up and walked stiffly after his leader, still trying to quell his racing thoughts.
"By the time I'm done with you you'll be able to fly circles around any other pilot, myself included." Tseng patted the helicopter fondly as he spoke.
"Sounds good ta me." Reno stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the wind.
"Lets get started then shall we?" Tseng gave Reno a small grin before climbing into the helicopter.
When they were finished Reno hadn't even touched the controls. The chopper hadn't even left the ground. Reno was rather pissed about that but he knew he had to learn how the helicopter operated before he ever laid hands on the controls and it kept his mind occupied so he wasn't about to complain. Tseng had been forced to end the lesson early because of a surprise meeting called by a higher up in Shinra who's name Reno couldn't bother to remember. It was nearly noon when he made it back down to his apartment and Rude was still on his couch where he had left him although he had cleaned himself up.
"How was the lesson?" Rude asked as Reno walked in and threw the tie he had never bothered to knot onto the floor.
"Educational." Reno peeled off his jacket. "God these things are constricting."
"They're professional." Rude smirked and sat up.
"You go back to your apartment?" Reno undid the top few buttons on his shirt.
"Yeah, had to get clothes and stuff. Didn't want to smell like beer and puke all day." Rude shrugged, "A shower was also in order."
Reno laughed, "So wanna let me know what happened last night? Ya usually don't get that tanked without a good reason." Reno kicked his shoes off and they hit the wall with a bang.
"Turned down Ellie and got in a drinking contest with Jareth." Rude shrugged as Reno sprawled himself onto the couch beside him.
"I thought you liked Ellie? Why turn her down?" Reno propped his head up on one hand and gazed at his friend.
"She was just looking for a screw Reno. After I said no she didn't want anything to do with me and spent the rest of the night hanging on some Soldier bastard." Rude shrugged again.
"That sucks. Didn't think she'd be whoring herself out like that." Reno frowned.
"Me neither. If I had known I wouldn't have been interested in the first place." Rude frowned, "It sure as hell does suck now that I know though."
Reno reached a hand over and patted Rude on the back, "I know buddy."
Rude sighed, "I won the drinking contest by the way."
Reno raised an eyebrow, "Yo I'd say ya guzzled down the entire freakin bar the way ya were barfing last night."
Rude chuckled, "Sorry about that."
"No problem." Reno grinned and ran a hand through his hair.
"So through that nice drunk haze I had going last night I still managed to notice you and Gareth were acting weird as hell when I walked in. You couldn't look more relieved and I don't think I've ever seen him angrier. Was that the beer or do you want to fill me in on what I was interrupting?" Rude raised an eyebrow with a smile.
Reno groaned and buried his head in his hands, "Goddamn that bastard's sexy when he's drunk. Totally came in and tried to jump my nuts. Had me pinned down when ya came a knockin'. Pissed him off when I let ya in but I don't think I coulda kept my cool without the interruption. So I'm glad ya came waltzing in drunk off your ass, he's pissed as hell."
Rude chuckled, "He came asking for you a couple hours ago."
Reno raised his head, "What'd ya tell 'im?"
"Told him you were on the roof taking helicopter lessons from Tseng." Rude shrugged nonchalantly.
"He'll probably be back later. Hopefully to apologize for basically trying ta rape me last night." Reno laughed, "Ta tell ya the truth buddy I wouldn't have minded if he was sober."
Rude chuckled, "I know. I figured eventually you two would have some kind of relationship."
"How the hell did you know?" Reno frowned.
"I'm your best friend Reno, I get an eerie look at your thoughts even if you don't know you're thinking them." Rude smiled.
Reno shook his head, "Wanna go grab some lunch?"
"Cafeteria's probably open." Rude stood up.
"Hopefully they don't know what I'm doing with all the sugar packets yet." Reno rubbed his hands together with an evil grin.
"Don't tell me so I don't have to act surprised." Rude shrugged his jacket on.
"You're a terrible actor." Reno scoffed.
While they ate Rude tried very hard not to pay attention to the fact that Reno was stuffing dozens upon dozens of sugar packets into his pockets, creating very ominous bulges in his pants and jacket. They were soon joined by Matt and Nasira.
"Hey Reno, hey Rude." Nasira greeted them in a sing-song voice and ruffled Reno's hair before sitting down beside Matt.
"Someone's cheerful." Reno frowned and tried to rearrange his hair.
"Why shouldn't I be?" Nasira raised an eyebrow at Reno, "You realize you're only making it worse right?"
Reno stuck his tongue out at her, earning a chuckle from Rude, "I figured you'd still be feeling a little plastered after how drunk everybody seemed ta be last night. Or did ya call it quits early ta go home and get laid?" Reno wiggled his eyebrows in Matt's direction.
Reno was still nursing the stinging red hand print painted across his cheek when Brandon walked in with a bouncy brunette on his arm. "Who's the dame?" Reno asked, rubbing his cheek and shooting Nasira a dirty look.
"Dame?" Brandon growled and the woman at his side laughed.
"Who're the new guys?" The brunette sat down beside Rude.
"The quiet one is Rude and the obnoxious one is Reno." Nasira stabbed at her food as she spoke.
"I wasn't being obnoxious Nasira, the blush on your face tells me I was right on the money." Reno ducked as Nasira's hand came towards him again. "Note to self, never sit by you again. The orgasm afterglow only lasts so long." Reno jumped out of his seat and climbed over the table to sit on the other side of Rude as Nasira moved to hit him.
"I can see you're making friends already." The brunette scoffed, "I'm Cissnei."
"Pleased ta meet ya." Reno saluted sloppily. "I'm guessing you're a Turk and you're Brandon's?"
"Yes, I'm a Turk and I'm Brandon's." Cissnei giggled and cuddled against Brandon's arm.
"So where's everyone else?" Brandon asked no one in particular, trying to hide the blush creeping along his cheeks.
"I think Jareth's still fighting a massive hangover and I don't know where Gareth is. Ellie went home with a Soldier last night but she called and let me know she was okay this morning." Nasira was still moodily stabbing at her food as she glared at Reno.
"The Commander?" Cissnei absentmindedly stroked Brandon's sleeve as she spoke.
"He's at a meetin'." Reno snuck more sugar packets into his pocket.
"I figured he would at least want to debrief me before I had to head out again." Cissnei pouted and rested her head on Brandon's shoulder.
"When are you leaving again?" Brandon murmured against her hair.
"Tomorrow. They never seem to keep that bastard in one place." Cissnei sighed.
Matt, who had been uncharacteristically silent during the conversation chose this moment to jump in, "I say we go break Cissnei back in before she has to leave."
"Break me back in?" Cissnei raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, lets go to the gym and make sure you're not going soft on us." Matt grinned evilly.
Cissnei returned the wicked grin, "You think I'm going soft do you? I'll show you soft!" Cissnei dragged Brandon from the table and Matt and Nasira followed.
"You coming guys?" Matt called over his shoulder.
"You go on ahead Rude, I've got somethin' ta do." Reno winked and left the cafeteria.
Rude shook his head and followed the group, trying to convince himself that he didn't care what Reno was going to do with those sugar packets.
Reno went to his apartment first to grab the small bag of sugar packets he had been adding to all week and a small piece of cardboard. Since he had found out where the meeting room the higher ups used he had been all to eager to wreak havoc there. He pocketed the bag and ran up the many flights of stairs leading to the meeting room on the 66th floor.
He fiddled with the air system and turned it off before continuing on. Reno made his way casually to the bathroom on the 66th floor, trying to hide a wicked grin as he passed the meeting room doors.
When he got to the bathroom he closed the stall door and waited for the other occupants to leave before he stood on the toilet and removed the panel to the air vents. He pulled himself in and shimmied towards the vent he knew was directly above the meeting room. He pulled the cardboard out of his jacket and set it over the vent to hide his actions. He caught a glimpse of a blonde executive trying to sweet talk Tseng and he had to hold back a snigger. He began tearing the sugar packets to shreds over the cardboard and he had to stifle evil laughter as the pile of powdery substance got bigger. As he shredded the packets he listened to the meeting below and after about five minutes he was amazed that he was still awake. The speakers droning voice was enough to completely zap the life out of him and he knew that if he hadn't been working on his prank he would have fallen asleep.
When he had shredded all the packets he removed the cardboard and shimmied back out of the vent. He stuffed the cardboard into the trash and walked out of the bathroom with a evil grin plastered to his face. He went back to the air system and turned it back on. He sat in a vacant cubicle where he could see the meeting room door. He heard cries of shock pour of out the meeting room as the sugar and paper shot out of the vent. When the door opened he could see that the ceiling fan in the room was spreading the sugar and paper around and it lightly coated everything. He could see Tseng trying to brush the stuff of his suit as the woman who had been throwing herself at him ran from the room with a terrified shriek. Reno doubled over in laughter as Tseng made his way towards him with angry strides.
"What the hell did you do Reno?" Tseng grabbed Reno by the shoulders.
"What makes ya think I did it?" Reno wiped a tear of laughter from his eye.
"It has you written all over it Reno. I can't think of anyone else who would do this. Plus, you look like you've been crawling through the vents." Tseng brushed the dust off Reno's shoulder.
"Damn, knew I forgot to check something." Reno frowned and brushed the dust off his jacket as Tseng tried to get the sugar from his own.
"If it wasn't for that you'd be in the clear. As it is, I don't think I can be too mad at you." Tseng brushed bits of paper and sugar from his hair with a smirk. "You certainly livened things up. I was about half asleep, the only thing keeping me awake was my desire to keep Scarlet out of my pants."
Reno laughed, "You're welcome yo. I listened to that guy for about five minutes and nearly passed out. You've been in there for over an hour yo, I can't imagine how annoying that was."
"Reeve can be long winded." Tseng straightened his suit, "That was an impressive feat Reno. You got the drop on two Turks and three Soldiers and one of those Soldiers was the General himself. Even if you were just pulling a prank, being able to do something so quietly that even Sephiroth doesn't pick up on it shows real promise as a Turk. I'm willing to forgive you for being out of uniform because of this."
"Damn, I was tryin ta piss ya off not make ya proud of me." Reno grinned at the praise despite his sullen tone.
"You should be glad it was Reeve you interrupted. I don't even think he enjoys listening to his speeches." Tseng began to lead Reno towards the stairs.
"Sure as hell talks a lot for not enjoying it yo." Reno followed obediently, a spring in his step.
Authors Note: I love Reno pranks :) I took my idea for this one from my story Flour Cannons. I just replaced flour with sugar. Read and review please!