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Cera: Rise of The Lost Princess
by: Sorrowful Princess
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When pain and hatred devour your whole being, you see the whole world as your enemy.
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-x- The Plan -x-
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"Princess, please, you must take your meal," Ruka begged, his eyes wearing a very worried expression.
A week had already gone by after the last time I and the Denitra had talked, and Ruka had constantly insisted on being by my side since the Denitra had assigned him to be my personal protector. I don't really quite remember what I did these past few days, maybe because my brain still isn't functioning well. My mind was in a chaos, and I don't have any idea how to organize my thoughts at all. I must say; I haven't gotten enough sleep the past nights, and I am totally aware that I look quite hideous.
Ruka was worrying about my health. And he was worrying about me. Since that night, I haven't talked much, I haven't sleep enough, and I haven't eaten a full meal, nor even bothered to drink. Don't get me wrong, though. I wasn't moping. Of course, I wasn't. I just need some time... Time to get everything in my head settled and in order.
Or maybe I was really moping. See? My head just can't think straight. One moment I declared I wasn't moping, and then in the next I declared maybe I was, indeed, moping. So, which one is it? I don't really know.
Ruka had become troubled as well. He thinks I'm depressed or something. He tried various things to get my spirit up. He said various comforting words to cheer me up. But it didn't do much on me. For one, I couldn't really understand what he was saying back then. His words seemed so muffled in my ears, and my brain couldn't process what he was really doing. So you can say that, I'm like a living zombie at this point of time.
But I'm not moping. Definitely not.
Or maybe I am. Which is what?
Okay so, whichever it is, it still doesn't change the fact that I'm behaving like a retard here. And that I'm causing Ruka a lot of worries.
In hope that I might finally stuff something in my mouth, he had commanded the servants---particularly the chefs---to make and serve the most delicious food that they could. Also, he had personally tended some things that he thought that would lift my spirits. But unfortunately, my mood was no different.
I sighed. "I'm not hungry, Ruka," I replied, though that was a total lie. I am hungry, but I just can't get myself to eat. Those hideous and traumatic images of my parent's death had caused me to lose my appetite.
"But Princess," he began, his voice echoed the strong sense of objection. "You most definitely need to eat. If you do not eat, you'll get weak." he said in a matter-of-factly way.
I sighed again. I stared at the dish served in front of me for like the hundredth time now. It had remained untouched.
"Princess," Ruka started. "It'll get cold. Eat it while it's still hot. Please, Princess? Can you please just eat and get your strength back?" he begged yet again, and I felt guilty. I'm being so inconsiderate of his efforts again.
I nodded lightly. "Okay." was all that I answered. I must eat, I know. And I must get that worried look off of his face.
Slowly, I picked up the fork and knife. I stabbed the meat with my fork and sliced it with the knife. Then I chomped it in my mouth. I chewed the food blankly, and swallowed without even tasting it. I repeated the process twice, then just to say the food had finally been touched, I forked the veggies---which I had no name for---and stuffed it in my mouth. I drank the water from the goblet that was served earlier and then wiped my lips with the napkin that was folded neatly on my side. Placing the utensils on the side of my plate, I shifted my eyes on him, reflecting nothing but indifference.
"Done," I said, and I swear, I saw Ruka scowl. It was a first.
"Princess," he started, disapproval evident in his voice. "You have just taken three slices of meat and a single piece of leaf. To me, the food still remained untouched. How can that possibly help your health?" he asked.
I merely shrugged. "It helped a lot. I'm quite full, you know," I said and that only deepened the scowl on his face.
"Princess---" he tried to object again but I quickly interrupted him.
"I'm all right now, really," I lied and he obviously didn't buy it. That uncharacteristic scowl remained on his face and I sighed. How come I can't lie so effectively nowadays? "Look, Ruka, I'm really grateful for all this---" I gestured to the food in front of me, "---and I am really grateful for you as well. But I am truthfully all right now." then I smiled appreciatively at him. "Thank you, Ruka, for your efforts. Please don't worry about me anymore. I'm sure I'll get over all of this soon."
He was the one who sighed this time. "If you say so, Princess, then I shall not object." he corteously said as the scowl in his face slowly turned into an obliging expression.
A servant silently walked up to me and bowed before speaking.
"Shall I take the plates now, Princess?" she asked softly but timidly.
I smiled at her. "Yes, please," I replied as the servant nodded and took the plates, utensils, and other stuffs in her hands. She gently placed them on the tray beside her and with one final bow, she turned around and headed to the kitchen, tray on her hands.
Her long ocean-blue hair gently swayed as she walked, and her small petite body moved in an organized, practiced manner. But beside from that, I noticed how nervous she looked when she talked to me.
"Wait," I called up, and she instantly stopped on her tracks and faced me, head bowed.
"Yes, my princess?" she asked, her voice thin.
"Look at me straight, please," I said.
Hesitantly, she slowly lifted her head and my eyes made contact with her. I looked at her intently. She had a small face, light skin complexion, and a pair of eyes that reflected nothing but nervousness and uneasiness. She had an odd scar in her right cheek, and I felt curious as to what was the reason why she had attained such mark. But I decided to let the thing go. It isn't right to meddle in someone's business. She felt my eyes speculating her, and she grew more uneasy. She began clutching the tray with tension. It seemed as if she wasn't comfortable in my stare and in my presence. Maybe because she had no idea how to act in front of me. After all, I haven't been here for seventeen long years and I suppose that probably half of the servants in this palace were all new.
"What's your name?" I asked, and her tension instantly got stronger.
"N-Nonoko, my princess," she answered, stuttering a bit.
"I see," then I smiled at her. "Thank you, Nonoko. And please, don't be nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about." I said and I saw her face brightened, probably because I had thanked her by her name.
"Yes, my princess." was all that she said before she turned around and walked off to the door with a small smile on her face.
A smile. I wonder when will I be able to smile genuinely again.
Once the servant, Nonoko, was gone, silence engulfed the whole place. I stared in front of me, at the empty, long table and sighed for like the thousandth time now. Though I said my thoughts were incoherent, I must say that the memory of my parents' death was something that I couldn't get out of my head. Various things run in my mind but that particular figment of my memory seemed stuck in there. It was silently tormenting me. So many emotions were surging inside of me; so many that my heart finally felt tired of trying to understand and organize them. Now, my heart felt numb. As in numb.
Truth to be told, I cried almost endlessly during the first nights. The pillows and bed sheets were wet with my tears, and if fabrics were not made to absorb moisture, I probably would have been able to make my own little rivulet. Pathetic, huh? Well, I can't help it. Just imagine gaining your memories and seeing how horrible your parents were slaughtered all in one day: do you think it'll be easy to deal with? I don't think so. I don't freaking think so.
Yeah so, my spirit's down, my mind malfunctions, I lost my appetite, I gained dark blue eye-bags, I looked hideous and chaotic, and the people around me was being affected by my selfish drama. Great. Everything's just so peachy. And the greatest thing of all was that: I always see the freaking face of that King. Damn. I just can't get his face away from my head. And along with his mental image, a revulsion always takes place somewhere inside me.
What do I really feel? What am I really thinking? And what should I do? I'm still so freaking confused!
There's pain, there's grief, there's hatred, there's grudge, there's loss, there's remorse, there's regret. There's gratitude, there's wonder, there's appreciation, there's an incomprehensible urge, there's an uncharacteristic desire of retribution. Really, what am I supposed to do with all that? They're all over the place! They scatter all over my brains! And they aren't the least bit in order! There's just so many; so many that I, myself, couldn't understand my being anymore!
So now what?!
I'm not moping, alright? I am not!
Damn. Freaking damn.
"Princess," Ruka interrupted my reverie. "Shall I take you to your chambers now?"
I looked up at him. "Do you know where the Denitra is?" I answered his question with another question.
The retrieval of my memory gave me knowledge and basic information about Cera. For one, I learned the Denitra's true identity. Who is he? I know who he is. The Denitra, by all means, is a relative of mine. He is, in fact, my uncle. Wonder why that happened? The reason's quite simple: The Denitra is my father's younger brother. Yes, younger brother. And his real name is Izura.
I, myself, was quite shocked when I learned that. But I couldn't deny the fact that he does slightly resemble my father. That would also explain why he has vast knowledge about almost everything and why he had been chosen to lead the Kingdom. Actually, the 'Denitra' was just a temporary position. Since the King and Queen died and Yura had gone missing while I was sent to another world, the Kingdom was left with no one to support them.
Bloodline is important. Especially if you're royal. But in Cera, a tradition wherein heirs were the only ones who had the rights to inherit the throne strictly exists. My parents weren't able to produce a son; a prince, but they were confident that my twin and I would be able to pull things through. But they didn't expect that fate would play such a sick game on us. Who knew that they would both die and that Yura would suddenly go missing while I would be sent to another world? Who knew that no one would be left to rule the Kingdom?
No one.
So obviously, no one had also thought that Miura would betray us and steal the Cerica from us. And that our Kingdom would fall into a total chaos. Oh, how lucky we were.
The Kingdom was in a dire pinch. I mean, just imagine a kingdom without a ruler: hideous. But, there's still my uncle. The same blood as my father's runs through his veins. So basically, it would be logical to give him the throne. But unfortunately, Izura was just a brother, not a son. Not a fruit from the King and Queen. So to solve this problem and to avoid going against the tradition, the temporary position, Denitra, was created.
"The Denitra is currently on a conference, Princess," Ruka said, suddenly bringing my thoughts into a halt.
"Conference?" I repeated and Ruka bowed slightly.
"Yes, Princess. He is currently inside the Migura, discussing serious matters together with the Trivana." he answered and my mind began meddling again.
Migura. When translated to English language, it equals 'conference hall'. That is where important meetings and discussions were held. My father had often come there back then. He had always considered others' thoughts before taking his plans into action. In short, he had always consented the Trivana before anything else.
Trivana. That is, in English language, a 'council'. It's an assembly of persons convened for consultation, deliberation, or advice. They have a high reputation and they gain great respect even from my father. They were undoubtedly smart, and they have exceptional magical skills. They have read every book that exists, and therefore their mind overflow with knowledge.
And the fact that the Denitra was talking to them meant that there's something important that has to be tend.
"May I know what they are discussing?" I asked and Ruka answered with no hesitation.
"They are discussing about the ceremony of you being the official ruler of this Kingdom," he began and I listened intently to his answer, "They plan to announce your existence to the people tomorrow morning, Princess. They plan to reveal your existence to the whole Kingdom."
Announce... my existence? Reveal my identity?
At first I wasn't able to make sense of it, but after a moment, I began to realize every bit of his words and I froze. They are planning to make my existence known? Now that was a big...
NO! I mean, they just can't announce my identity right away! It's not the right time yet!
With sudden swiftness, I stood up and gazed at the Arsonep with serious, unyielding eyes.
"Lead me to Migura," I said, my voice strained. "Please! Now!"
Though Ruka was befuddled with my reaction, he didn't waste another second. He instantly went to the door and led the way to the conference hall. He must've sensed I'm in a hurry so he ran, while I trailed behind him, also running.
I must stop them. My existence shouldn't be revealed yet. It's not the right time. And I have a good reason why the ceremony must not take place. I have better things in mind. I have a plan.
Yes, a plan. My thoughts miraculously became organized when I was sitting in the dining room doing nothing but pondering on them. My emotions became coherent and comprehensive enough that I could now pinpoint what I really, truly desire.
Ruka halted in front of another gigantic door and I practically barged inside without a second thought. Every person inside that room, including the Denitra, looked at my direction with a shocked expression plastered on their faces. Apparently, my entrance wasn't so courteous and it had caused them to be distracted and had their conversation skid into a halt, which was my purpose for suddenly going in here.
"Princess," the Denitra was the first one to speak. "What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion, since I really wasn't supposed to be here.
"I'm sorry for being rude, barging in just like that. But I have to say something. And I have to say it now," I answered breathlessly. "It's important."
The conference hall was huge. But I was surprised to see that there's nothing else to see here except for the big round table that's occupying the very center of the room. I didn't expect for it to look like this. I thought I'd see another bunch of extravagant furniture, paintings, and stuff. But there's nothing. And this room made me feel that the reason why there isn't a single thing here except for the round table and its chairs was because this is a conference room. A room where only important matters are discussed. A room where extremely important plans are formulated.
There were only two windows. No curtains. And I must say: the atmosphere here felt so serious and tight.
The round table was, like I said earlier, in the center of the room. There were eight chairs, but only six of it were occupied, which made me wonder why the other two remained vacant. There were six persons on that table, one was the Denitra, so I assume that the rest were the Trivana.
The Denitra nodded. "Please take a seat, Princess. We must discuss what you have in mind." he gestured to one of the vacant chairs and slowly, I walked to it.
Ruka pulled the chair for me and I sat on it, while he took the other one beside me and settled. I instantly felt self-conscious the moment I sat. Why? Simply because I felt all eyes on me. The Trivana, along with the Denitra, were looking at me intently. But I know being self-conscious isn't going to do anything good. I must relax and say what I have to say. I must be calm.
I then took a deep breath. I just have to get straight to the point.
"I heard from Ruka that you were discussing about the ceremony of making me the official ruler," I began. "And I also heard from him that you are planning to reveal my existence to everybody. But if you would ask me," I clutched my hand as I paused. "I would like for my existence to remain hidden." I said and at first, all I got from them was silence. But then, a man with white hair and a beard spoke up.
"Perhaps I should introduce myself before anything else," he said, his voice old but powerful. "I am Haro, the head of Trivana." he then shot me a look. "And I believe I have heard you correctly, Princess. To put it bluntly, you want us to cancel the ceremony and hide your existence. Why, is there any particular reason as to why you want it that way, Princess?" he asked.
I nodded at him. "Yes, there is. I want to hide my existence for I have a plan that would require the advantages of having my identity hidden. And if you would just allow me, I'd like to lay the details of that plan now."
"You may, of course," he said.
"Thank you," I said and then I took a deep breath again. Here I go. "I am quite aware of our Kingdom's situation at the moment. I know we are currently engaged in a war, and I know that our enemy is none other than the Kingdom of Miura. Other than that, I also know that they were the reason for the King and Queen's death, and that they have stolen a very important treasure from us. And that is the Cerica."
As I speak, everybody remained silent and gave their ears on me. Their eyes bore into me but I don't mind it.
"You may be wondering what it has got to do with the issue of hiding my identity. And you may be also wondering why I spoke of the Cerica. We all know that Cerica was a very powerful gem, and that such thing originally belonged to us. So, I was thinking, isn't there a way to gain it back?" I asked and they all furrowed their brows in response.
"What are you trying to say, Princess?" Haro asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
"I'm saying that---" I looked at everyone with serious eyes. "---we should retrieve the Cerica. And I would like to retrieve it personally." And as I said that, I heard gasps and grumbles. I don't think they liked what they heard from me very much.
A man with dark hair and ash-coloured eyes suddenly stood up.
"I am Rigou," he said. "And pardon me, Princess. But I don't think what you have said was wise. Retrieving the gem personally isn't rational, and I don't see any reason why you have to do it."
"There is a reason," I countered. "For one, the Cerica belonged to us. My Father had protected it with his life. And I won't let any one to just steal it away from us."
"But it doesn't mean that you have to get it back yourself, Princess. We can ask someone else to do it. Someone skillful and experienced." he reasoned out.
"No," I said stubbornly. "I am the only one who could do it. I want to get it back myself. That's the reason why I want my existence to remain a secret. The enemy doesn't have a single clue who I am. So in a sense, I can easily go inside their territory without causing a fuss. And besides, I really want to do it." I explained.
"But still," a man with spectacles started, not even bothering to introduce himself. He looked so gruff. "The fact that you are inexperienced is undeniable. For one, your magic is still in a sleeping state. We can't afford to let you go inside the enemy's territory without magic. I'm afraid what you are suggesting isn't possible, Princess."
"It is possible," I replied, my eyes full of determination. "Just look at it this way: If I retrieve the Cerica, Miura would instantly be defenseless. I mean, the only reason why they're so strong is because of it, right? If they lose the Cerica, I'm one hundred percent certain that war would cease. They might even come here for peace talks. You see my point?" They didn't speak so I went on. "Of course, we're not going to let them know that we are the ones behind it. I will make false tracks and lead them somewhere else. We will appear nothing but innocent about everything. That way, they'll have no other choice but to settle everything between the two Kingdoms. They'll have no other choice but to surrender."
There was a long silence after that. I wonder what they are thinking. They all look so deep in thought.
Actually, I didn't really purposely form that plan. As I have said earlier, my thoughts and emotions weren't organized and they were causing me nothing but confusion. But somehow, the plan subconsciously formulated in my mind, and everything made sense to me now. I now understand who I really am, what I must do, what my responsibilities are, and how I am supposed to execute each with precision. Everything suddenly became crystal clear.
"You do have a point, Princess," Haro was the first one to break the silence. "But it's dangerous for you. We might lose your life in the process, Princess. Like what Greygo stated, you are inexperienced. What if your plan didn't go as smoothly as you had expected? What if you were drawn into a battle while you were in their territory? Death would be certain at that point, Princess. We cannot allow such thing to happen no matter what. You are the only heir of the throne, please do remember that." he tried to reason out but I knew he would say that. And I have already thought of an answer.
"I am not in a hurry, Haro." I started calmly. "I will not execute the plan right away. Of course, not. I will train myself. Study and learn everything I must know, perhaps. It doesn't matter how long it would take to fully develop myself. Also, I would like to relearn our language. I know the only reason why I am able to talk to you all without a problem is because Ruka had cast a spell. And I have no intention to depend on Ruka's spell all the time. If possible, I would like you to direct me to someone who can teach me everything, so that there'll be no problem when the time comes. I'll learn everything that must be learned, and I will gain all the necessary power I must have. But until that time, the kingdom must remain ignorant of my existence." I roamed my eyes to speculate their faces and reactions, but I failed miserably to read them for they all look impassive.
Silence hovered throughout the room once again. Everyone, including me and Ruka, was deep in thought. What are they thinking? Up to now, only Haro, Rigou, and the spectacled one who Haro declared to be Greygo, openly conversed with me. The other two remained discreet with their thoughts, as well as the Denitra and the Arsonep.
The plan, indeed, seemed reckless. I know that much. And there's a high possibility that I'll get caught and be sentenced to death. I have thought of that, yes, but how come I do not feel any fear for my life?
"May I speak this time, Haro?" the one sitting on my left asked the Head of the Trivana, who nodded in response. The man had faded golden locks and sharp eyes which can be compared to an eagle's. He then shifted those piercing orbs to me. "I am Drehu," His voice felt soft and withdrawn, though there's some edge in it. "And I would like to ask you something, Princess, if you would allow me." his words felt heavy.
I nodded. "You may ask me."
He bowed before speaking. "If, by chance, you happen to see a struggling man on a deserted place and he asked for your help, what would you do? That man was dying, and the only thing that could save his life was you. But, by chance, you also happen to know that that man is an enemy, one who have killed thousands of people and slaughtered thousands of children. Would you still help him, Princess? Would you still help him despite what he has done? Would you still help him knowing that if you do help someone so dangerous, it would be the end of this world?" He finished the question.
I furrowed my brows. Why did he ask me that? What does it have to do with retrieving the Cerica? I began to think hard. I'm sure he didn't ask me that for nothing.
"If that man is the enemy and he's dying," I started and I felt their gazes on me intensified. "I would..." I took a deep breath. "I would still help him." I answered without a hint of hesitation. "Enemy or not, I must help those who are in need. Even if he had killed thousands of people, I can't just let him die. True, I may have a grudge on that person, and I would most likely desire for him to die, but not in that way. Of course, that doesn't mean I'll let him get away with what he'd done. If I were the only one who can help him survive, I would also be, most likely, the one that has the ability destroy him."
My answer was quite simple and logical, might I add. But why do everyone looked so stunned? They look as if I have spoken a foreign language, or as if they have seen me eating a live goat. After a moment, Drehu nodded in what seemed to be acknowledgment.
"I knew it. It was the same," he said and to my utter disbelief, I saw his lips curved into a small smile. "Your father had said the same exact thing when I asked him that question." he continued and my eyes widened. My father had said the same exact thing as me?
Without waiting for my response, he shot Haro, Rigou, Greygo, the Denitra, and the other one who haven't spoken up yet, a knowing look. They all nodded in response and the next thing I knew, they were conversing amongst themselves in an unintelligible language.
Their conversation was low and almost inaudible, and I didn't bother myself to understand what they are saying. They must be discussing whether to approve of my plan or not. Finally, after a long while, their conversation halted, and the Denitra faced me, his eyes burning.
"Princess," he started. I focused all my attention on him. "The Trivana and I had decided---" he looked at me intently. "---to accept your plan. We will cancel the ceremony, and have your wish of hiding your identity. Tomorrow before sunrise, you will journey to a master who will teach you everything. However, Princess, you must assure us that your life won't be sacrificed at the process."
My plan got accepted...
A grateful expression made its way up to brighten my face. "Thank you," I said, my voice reflecting relief and assurance. "I won't fail you, I promise."
"I know you never will, Princess," he replied, his voice soft and full of trust. "I know you never will."
-X-
The crescent moon crept way up in the dark, night sky, while the stars discreetly twinkled, creating a faint shower of lights. The breeze was freezing cold, and its solemn atmosphere made the trees sway sluggishly. The night was so quiet, and the only thing that I could hear was my own steady breathing.
I've been staring at the sky for quite some time now, waiting for time to slowly pass by. Standing here beside the big window was a little tiring but I guess my impatience was making me feel as if tiredness was never there. Why am I impatient? I was scheduled to journey tomorrow to meet the master who will teach me, and I can't wait for the sunrise to finally come to life. Yes, I am quite excited.
Confusion was already out of my system. And my feelings were what they are supposed to be. My memories and thoughts were all organized now, and the pieces are slowly falling into place.
My plan got accepted. My identity will fall into secrecy. And I would be able to train and sneak into the enemy's territory without a problem. First step: check.
Now, all that's left is...
I wrenched my eyes off the night sky and went to the huge, human-size wooden mirror. I picked the hairbrush resting on a nearby table and combed my hair, fixing it into a tight, high bun. Ruka was nowhere in sight. He wasn't with me tonight, for he was off organizing things for our journey tomorrow morning. Yes, our journey. He is coming with me, of course, since he was my personal protector. And for the mere reason that he wasn't here, he won't be able to witness what I'm about to do.
Silently, I went to the door and opened it. The hallways looked frightening, dark in some parts, but there are enough lanterns and light so I think I can manage. I slipped into the other side of the door and closed it behind me. Once I'm sure there was nobody to see me---I don't want to be seen wandering around suspiciously in the middle of the night, do I? ---I began walking towards that certain place. I know I'll find him there.
For the past few days, I've gotten a little familiar with this place. Well, that is because of Ruka's help. He taught me where to turn, where to go if ever a problem occurs, where his room is if ever I needed his help for anything, and other various places. He was also the one who taught me where to find the place I am looking for now.
I stopped short in front of a gigantic door. Strangely enough, there wasn't a single guard guarding the place. I wonder why that is. But I quickly let go of that question and focused all my attention to what I'm about to do. Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and knocked lightly on the door. I know he'll be able to hear it.
Suddenly, I felt a gush of wind smoldered me and the next thing I knew, the door was already open. I crept inside, roamed my eyes around, and felt my eyes fell straight into the orbs of the man sitting across from me.
Now, all that's left is... to speak with the Denitra personally.
"I've been waiting for you, Princess Mikan," he said and I couldn't deny the fact that I was surprised to hear that. He was waiting for me. He was expecting me. "I knew you'd come here secretly, so I spared you the trouble of thinking how to get passed my guards. I gave them an errand."
He knew. I didn't expect as much. I thought I'd surprise him if he sees me sneaking into his room in the middle of the night but instead, he was the one who brought me a surprise by saying he was waiting for me.
"Please, take a seat wherever you like." he gestured around him, telling me anywhere would do. I nodded and I took a seat perpendicular to him.
"Thank you," I said and then I gave a small, amused smile. "I must say, I didn't expect you'd be waiting for me, uncle."
I saw his face brighten up into a small smile as well. "I see you have already accepted." he said, his voice clearly displaying his liking of me acknowledging him and calling him 'uncle'. It was a first for him to hear that in seventeen years, after all. Of course, I like calling him uncle as well, considering the fact that he's the only relative I have left. A strong attachment binds us, I could certainly feel it.
"I see nothing but acceptance, uncle." I replied, my voice soft.
He nodded. "True."
Uncle Izura, according to my memory, was every bit as kind and loving as my Father. He may be a wife-less and a childless man, but he had always treated me as his own. He was like my second father, in a way. And for that, he has the rights to know as to what my real plan is.
"Uncle," I started and he looked up to me with a slight diverted expression, as if he had been caught in a train of thoughts as well. "I have something very urgent to tell you." I said, and his eyes reflected nothing but indifference.
"I expected as much," he replied. He urged for me to go on so I speak up.
"It's about... my real motive, uncle. You are like my second father, so you certainly deserve to know the truth." I said in a low voice, and that got his full attention.
"Real motive? Truth? May you explain things to me a bit further, Princess Mikan? I certainly have expected your visit, but I also have expected that you would exchange words with me in accordance to your journey only. Perhaps I have over-expected things. May I know what you are talking about, Princess?" he asked.
"Well, the plan that I have laid out a little while ago mainly revolves about Cerica, right? But that wasn't all there is to it." I began, and the Denitra furrowed his brows. Nevertheless, I went on. "You see, I purposely didn't tell the Trivana of what I really have in mind, for I know they will certainly not approve of it. The retrieval of Cerica wasn't the plan; it was just a part of the plan."
"Then what is the plan, Princess? How come you have come to the conclusion that the Trivana won't approve of it?"
"I know they won't," I said and his face reflected confusion. "For it would be very risky, dangerous, and irrational. My real motive is, so to speak, something they won't consider, nor even bother to hear. But still, I am determined to execute the plan, no matter what. And I am saying this to you, uncle, because I know that you are the only who can understand me to an extent."
"And your real motive is?" he asked again.
"My real motive is," I began as images of my parents death flashed in my head. A strong surge of hatred pierced through every part of my being, and I fought real hard to contain it. I gritted my teeth. "to eliminate the King of Miura." I finished, my voice strained and hard when I threw the word 'King'.
The Denitra's eyes bulged out of its sockets and it seemed as if his breathing has stopped. His face was completely frozen, and I could see nothing from it but shock, horror, and fear.
I knew this would happen. I knew he would react like this.
He stayed like that for a whole minute before gathering his life back. And when he had finally managed to breathe...
"Princess! What in the world are you talking about?!" he exclaimed, suddenly standing up in an agitated way. He towered over me with displeased eyes but I knew this would happen. I stayed firm on my seat and let him speak, or better yet, yell as much as he wants. "Eliminate the King? You mean you wish to kill their King? Do you even know what you are saying, Princess? Do you even realize what that meant?" He started pacing in front of me with swift movements. I can hardly keep up with my vision of him. "It meant suicide, Princess! Before you could even touch a strand of the king's hair, you'd be dead! Hundred thousands of guards stood by his side, Princess. It'll be the same as throwing your life away!" he yelled, and I prayed so hard that nobody will hear him. Especially the council.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I must speak calmly. After all, he was my uncle. Respect should be there before anything else.
"It's not going to be suicidal, uncle, if the plan works. And I know it will. Definitely." I answered softly, but this only make the Denitra agitated even more.
"If your plan works?! Tell me, what is your plan? Get into his palace, stuck a knife into his heart, and leave like nothing at all happened? Is that your plan, Princess? Do you think it'll be that easy?!" he said, his eyes blazing.
I winced with the way he looked. I know he'd be hysterical, but I didn't know it would be to this extent.
"I know it won't be easy, but that's what I desire!" I countered,my voice a little louder than intended. I fought hard to maintain my calmness. "Ever since my memories returned, uncle, all I think about is that damn King who made us suffer. All I think about is the way he slaughtered my parents. He killed them like animals, uncle! Do you really think after witnessing that hideous scene I'll just sit here forever and let him get away with it?! No way! He deserved to be punished, and I shall be the one to conduct his punishment!" I knew I said to myself that I should be calm, but it turned out that my little self-reminder was pointless. I couldn't help it. Having to hide what I really feel up to now was a little too much, and my emotions were all leaking uncontrollably.
Yes, what I really, truly desire is his death. I figured that out since that very moment my memory had returned, but due to grief, sorrow, and loneliness, my heart felt all confused and lost. I couldn't really understand anything, until today.
"But Princess, killing the King won't solve our problems! That was utterly irrational of you!" He roared and suddenly, my ears felt so hot. My temper suddenly raised much to my dismay.
"It will certainly solve our problems, uncle! Tell me, what can a King-less kingdom do? They'll be scurrying off to their mothers with their tails behind their legs! But that's beside the point. The point here is: don't you feel bad for my parents? Don't you feel bad for your brother?! I thought, you, of all people, would be able to understand how I feel! And to think I even approached you to tell everything! Forgive me, Uncle, if I'm being rude yet again. It's just that..." I clenched my fists hard as I felt my eyes stung. My vision suddenly became blurred because of tears and without sparing a second, it rolled down my cheeks. I felt something painful pierce my chest, making my breathing seem ragged. "It's just that I can't take to live another day without doing anything! All I feel now is hatred, grudge, and grief. They were all too much to handle, it was as if they're killing me!" I shrieked, letting all my frustrations out. My head swirled painfully but I ignored it.
However, the Denitra didn't budge.
"Just because you feel that way doesn't mean you have to dig your own grave, Princess!" He yelled, his voice so powerful and firm. He answered me with the same intensity. "Yes, I do feel sorry for your parents, especially to my brother. Inside of me, I desperately wish for that King's death. But I didn't do anything rash, did I, Princess? I contained my emotions, and you must learn to do the same thing!" He shouted and I stood up in anger. My fists were clutched hard, so hard that my knuckles turned white.
"I must learn what?!" I yelled, fuming. "I must learn to just stay here and let that stupid King feel and do as he wishes?! Learn to accept everything like it was no big deal?! Learn to just let him get away with what he'd done?! And after that, uncle, what happens next? Learn to let him conquer us and perhaps, serve under him by being his freaking mighty slaves?!" my eyes burned furiously. I growled. "I won't let that freaking happen!"
"You might die, Princess!" The Denitra snarled.
I snarled in return. "I won't die, and even if I do, I'll drag him to hell with me!" I yelled, feeling the tears stream down madly. I was so angry. I couldn't even think straight. All I know was that I have to defend my side.
A very long silence hovered around us. Our eyes made contact with each other, each burning with fierce emotions. It's not like I don't get what he was saying. In fact, I totally understand it. The risk is too high, and I might die. But if I don't do it, it'll be the same as dying. He must understand that.
The trembling of my body didn't halt yet, and it was making me feel weak. My knees wobbled up, and my vision twirled. Soon, my knees gave out and I fell to the floor sobbing. Drops of my tears crashed to the cold, hard floor and it splattered with a soft, solemn sound.
The silence was deafening me. I couldn't take it.
"Tell me, uncle; is it a crime to feel like this?" I asked; my voice weak, low, and suffering. "Is there a law forbidding for one to feel such thing?"
I sounded so sickeningly pathetic. And I know being pathetic doesn't help me in any way. I know I won't be able to convince the Denitra that easily, but what I didn't know was: he would take it so cowardly. There's no hope for it. I shouldn't have come here and talked to him. I knew this won't work.
Suddenly, I felt someone touch me lightly in my shoulders. I looked up to see the Denitra and to my surprise, his eyes were gentle now, far from the furious look I've seen earlier.
"Princess," he called me, his voice soft. "I am sorry for yelling at you. It's not like I don't understand the way you feel, but my concern for your safety and life comes first. Please, do understand that." he explained, and I looked away.
"Please, just let me try..." I pleaded, referring to my plan of assaulting the King.
"Princess..." his voice echoed disapproval, and I clutched my hands harder as tears streamed continuously.
"Please," I begged desperately. "Let me do it."
A moment of stillness swept through the entire room. I could hear nothing except for the sound of my sobs and muffled cries.
"Does it mean everything to you, Princess?" The Denitra spoke up after a long while, breaking the thick atmosphere and icy silence surrounding us.
I looked up at him with my eyes reflecting my unwavering determination. "It does," I answered without the tiniest bit of hesitation.
The Denitra sighed, his eyes portraying resignation. "Then I guess I don't have the right to stop you," he said in a defeated manner. He then removed his hand on my shoulder and turned around, his back facing me. "Go back to your chambers now, Princess. You must take a rest." I couldn't see his face, so I don't have a single clue as to what his reaction was as he said those words. Is he angry? Exasperated? I can't really blame him if that's the case.
"Ruka," he called and in an instant, Ruka appeared before him.
He knelt down and bowed his head courteously. "Yes, my lord?"
"Take Princess Mikan to her chambers now. She must be exhausted." The Denitra said, and the next thing I knew, Ruka was already in front of me.
He lifted me gently with his hands and I stood up, though I could hardly stop the tears from flowing. His eyes flickered to mine, and it silently asked me: What are you doing in this room, Princess? Why are you crying?
I shifted my eyes off him. I couldn't answer him.
Suddenly, I felt my surroundings pull into a distortion and in just a flick of a second, I am no longer in the Denitra's room. Instead, I was now lying on my bed with a thick cover gently placed over my body. Ruka stood by my side, looking at me with gentle and understanding eyes. It seemed as if he knows what I just did back there.
He gave me a final bow, and then he walked to the door. He half-smiled.
"Sleep well, Princess." he said softly, and again, the darkness swooned over me. I drifted off to sleep.
-x-
to be continued...
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A/N: Finally. So I haven't updated this story for seven months. I'm sorry. I've been extremely busy. It sucks. College kills me.
The only reason why I was able to update now is because I've finally got a two-month vacation. In that short span of time, I'm hoping to be active again here in FFN. I've heard that a lot has been going on here, a lot of really great authors are quitting, and that made me so sad. But I can't do anything about it. We should just respect and support their decision.
I understand if anyone here is annoyed at me for being so inactive for the past few months. You might have already forgotten that this story exists. I suggest you re-read it if you feel confused after reading this chapter.
I dunno if this chapter will disappoint you guys. As for How Far Can Idiocy Go? Part II, I'll try to finish it. It just needs one more chapter. I don't know how, though. My humor's gone.
I'm currently re-reading all of my stories, just so I could remember what kind of plot I created on each of them.
Comments, suggestions, and other remarks are welcome here. Feel free.
I missed you guys.
Lovelots,
-Eurice-