She fell asleep somewhere around three in the morning, and I sat watching her for at least another hour. She had made her decision, and by seven tonight, our child will exist no longer. I knew that she would try to be strong, to tell me that I had done enough and that I didn't need to be there. The truth was, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I just knew that I didn't have a choice but to accept this.

I rolled over and shielded my eyes from the blinding sunlight pouring through the open window in my bedroom. My alarm clock next to the bed indicated that it was just past eight. I could hear Lulu's voice downstairs. She was talking to Luke about her appointment tonight. There was sadness in her voice, evident to anyone who could hear her. I wished that there was something that I could do.

Well, I would love so much to go to Europe with you, but not now. I made my bed here in Port Charles, and I'm not going to run away.

You had to admire Lulu in that moment. As easy as it would have been for her to run away, she had chosen the high road, the responsible route that would eventually end with her making the right decision for herself. As much as people told her that she was a Spencer, it was one of those moments that she contradicted all the stereotypes her infamous surname carried. Luke would have run as fast as his legs would have carried him. Lulu, on the other hand, elected to remain here. It had to mean something.

Groaning, I crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of cords from the top drawer of my bureau. Throwing on a tee shirt, I mussed my hair absently in the mirror before making the short trek downstairs to face the music. I stopped short of the sitting room where Lulu was curled up next to Luke. She looked so young and innocent next to her father, her blond hair pulled back away from her face. He held her hand in his, listening intently as she went over the final details with him. She asked a few questions, clearly worried. He tried to answer them, but for the most part, he didn't have the words that could provide her with the ultimate comfort she sought.

"Hey," I said softly as I finally came into the room. Lulu looked up at me with a sad smile while Luke grimaced at me protectively. I hated that Luke, someone I had grown to look up to, became automatically defensive in my presence now. I was happy, however, to note that Lulu wasn't as on guard as she had been a few days ago. "I just want a minute alone with her."

Luke stood and eyed me suspiciously. Turning, he looked at his daughter questioningly. Lulu nodded in response, waving her hand to indicate that it was fine. "I'll be right out here," he warned me as he pushed past me.

Once we were alone, Lulu relaxed against the couch. Pulling her knees up to her chin, she cocked her head and waited for me to sit down. When I didn't, she reached out and patted the cushion next to her. "Sit," she ordered.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry again. I've been horrible to you, we both know that. I wish that there was something I could do for you."

"You're doing it by making this choice be okay for me, Dillon. By not fighting me, you're making it that much easier for me to get through this," she replied.

"So if I had fought harder, maybe you wouldn't have made this choice?"

She shook her head firmly. "No, I think all roads would have led us right back here. I'm just glad that you didn't make the journey any more difficult than it already was."

"It was your choice all along, and I had no right to try and take it away from you. I guess I finally did something right," I murmured. The words hung in the air until we settled into a peaceful silence. The only sound in the room was her gentle breath and the steady ticking of the clock on the mantle.

"I didn't know this was going to be so hard."

I glanced up at her, noticing for the first time that she was crying. My first instinct was to reach up and brush her tears away. I wanted so much to draw her into my arms, but I wasn't sure that it would be right. I didn't want to know what it would be like to have her flinch at my touch. I couldn't stand the thought of her cringing against my fingertips. Screw it, I thought as I wiped her tears away with the pad of my thumb. Resting her face in my palm, she smiled the same sad smile from earlier.

It's more than enough that you're backing off. You don't have to help me do something that you're opposed to.

I sat there stunned as the words sunk into my brain. She was telling me that she wanted to do this alone, but I knew better. I knew that Luke would offer, but she didn't want him there. However, she did want me there. And I needed to be there, to hold her hand and look into her eyes when she needed reassurance. I didn't want her to go through this alone. I had vowed to be responsible when she told me that she was pregnant, and I would keep that promise. I was going to go with her, whether she liked it or not. I had finally accepted it was her right to end the pregnancy, but I would not relent on this issue.

"I'm going."

"No, please, I should do this alone," she insisted.

"Lulu, you need me," I replied. "I know you don't think you need anyone, but you can't do this alone. I won't let you."

"It's not up to you."

"Something in this has to be my choice. Please don't fight me on this. It's not just for you; it's also for me. If I only get to be a father for a few more hours…I just need to be there, okay?"

"Fine," she relented. "I'm going to go upstairs to get dressed. I'd like to take a walk along the docks before I go." She started to walk away but turned in the doorway and looked at me. "You can go with me if you want."

Are you saying that you don't hate me?

She asked me that later as we walked along the docks. She had dressed in a dark green velour tracksuit. As we walked, she kept pulling the jacket more tightly around her body, as if to protect herself from the future as well as the icy wind. I'd stood behind her, resting my chin on her shoulder, staring out across the same blue water. My hands had involuntarily moved to her stomach. She rubbed her hands down my arm and laid them on top of mine. It made me sad to realize that we would never feel a kick or see her belly swell. Still, no matter what, I couldn't hate her. Not even close.

"It's almost time," I told her as the sun started to slip below the horizon.

She looked up at me and shook her head vehemently. "It can't be. It's too soon."

"It's 6:30."

She ran her hands across her face and through her hair. "I'm scared."

"So am I."

I – if I could go back, I – I mean, I, I wish that things had been different.

So did I…I wished I had told her how I felt sooner. Still, it wasn't too late. Yet.