AN: Wow, I didn't expect such response only two days after I posted it. I'm glad that you liked it and I hope that you will continue following me here. The preface is an extract of what's going to happen later. Here is the first chapter from Edward's point of view. It explains what happened when people lost contact to him.
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La Libertà di Amarci Qui, Senza Limiti
Chapter 1 – Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours
(London, England)
I walked around in my apartment, looking over the many historical monuments grazing London's surface. I considered myself both blessed and cursed at the same time. I rested my forehead against the window, granting me the beautiful panoramic view over London. I often caught myself standing there, looking like a moron with my face pressed up against the glass, contemplating my situation. I found myself taking trips down memory lane, back to the old days where I was… happy. Life changes and sometimes, at incredible speed, you find yourself unable to keep up. Three minutes is all it takes to change everything. Simple three minutes. It's almost absurd how much can happen in three minutes; it takes three minutes to make instant noodles. The average length of a pop song is three minutes. Well, according to Wikipedia it is. It is advised to reduce showering time to three minutes to conserve water, well that might be a little difficult for certain people – and I'm not thinking of my dear twin sister, whom I hadn't spoken with for seven years. I abandoned my old life seven years ago.
But again; three minutes is all it takes. Those are three minutes I will never get back. It seemed like another life time. I felt the strongest urge to break the window in front of me, when I thought back to what happened years ago. I finally pried myself away from the offending window and back to my bedroom. I had a closet with clothes and shoes, a simple bed, a nightstand. Lamps and my guitar. But only one thing caught my eye. It was my most precious possession since I came here. I fingered the photo in my hand. I caressed her face with my index finger. It was a gentle touch to match her gentle soul. The way she glowered in her white dress with me next to her, made my heart flutter.
Isabella Swan, my Bella, my beloved. There we were, seventeen and in love. It was amazing how easy it had been for us… I mean, to just fall in love like that. But fate had other plans for us apparently. I wanted to curse fate for putting me here. I opened the drawer in the nightstand and retrieved a small velvet box. I fingered the lid profoundly and closed my eyes in remembrance.
I had just picked out the rings. Beautiful promise rings. I would offer myself to Bella till the day she'd tire of me, which I hoped was never. But I never got the chance to give it to her… My world shattered and fell to pieces, when they shattered the glass door to the jeweler. They beat me to the ground.
"This face is going to haunt you in your dreams till the day you die, and trust me… You are a marked man. We are the Volturi" he had said. Yes he was true, visions of that day, seven years ago, still haunted me in my sleep. I tried not to sleep, but I was only human. They left me broken and battered on the ground amongst glass shards. I had to pick myself up and when I was sure that they had left, I had only one thing in my mind. Bella. But she was off limits. She had suddenly become the forbidden fruit and I was no longer to touch her. I was a marked man. I had heard of the Volturi before. They were like the Italian Mafia. They left no survivors if they saw fit. If it meant staying away from Bella would keep her safe, I would do it. No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't bring myself regret the decision to keep her safe. I drove out of the town of Forks and hurried to the only person who could help me now. He was my last hope now and I didn't like admitting it.
I drove for a while, not caring about the speed limits as usual. I stopped outside a legal looking building. I closed the door firmly behind me and eyed my guitar in the backseat. I walked in long strides to the main entrance. The lady at the reception eyed me curiously and I gave her a stressed smile, charms aside.
"Hello, ma'am. I'm here to see Mr. Jenks" I told her as I leaned onto the desk. She gave me a funny look and snapped out of whatever daze she had been in.
"Uhm, do you have an appointment sir…" she asked hesitantly.
"Edouard Cigne and no I don't have an appointment" I answered. She seemed to contemplate the name.
"Is that French?" she asked as a proverbial light bulb appeared over her head. I nodded and sighed. Please, woman, faster!
"Please, ma'am time is of the essence here and it is an important matter, which I wish to discuss with Mr. Jenks" I pleaded and her eyes softened.
"Take a seat in the waiting room and he'll be right out" she said and called Mr. Jenks through the intercom.
I sat there in the waiting room sweating my butt off. Gone was my calm and collected nature, and in its place was anxiety and fear. I wasn't a religious man, but I sure hoped that some God was watching over me. If not Allah or Buddha, I wouldn't mind having Mufasa up there helping me. Thank God, or Mufasa, that I only had to wait there for a couple of minutes before a middle-aged and balding man appeared. He looked tired and stressed, but he waved me to him.
"J. Jenks, how can I help you young man?" he asked in a father-like tone. What I wouldn't do to have Carlisle with me now.
"Mr. Jenks, my name is Edouard Cigne and I have some important issues at hand that I want to discuss with you" I said calmly. His facial expression changed and the warm eyes grew distant.
"Well, of course Mr. Cigne. You look quite beaten up… This way to my office" even his tone had changed to a more business-like. I was getting more uncomfortable by the second. He led the way to the elevators and the doors opened with a creaky sound and we both stepped in. It was an awkward scene for both of us. He pressed the button, leading us to the top floor. The doors opened with an audible "bing" and we exited the elevator. He took the lead again and I just followed him, while eyeing his back. We walked down the long hallway with several doors on each side. Where was he taking me? He reached a door at the very end of the hallway. I looked back and noticed the eerie atmosphere here. He opened the door and held it open for me to step in.
"Take a seat Mr. Cigne… If that's even your name" he added. I nodded, my lips were tight. He closed the door, locked it and proceeded to sit behind his large oak desk. He leaned back and folded his hands, his demeanor business-like again, but his face showed little interest. I cleared my throat, ready to tell my story.
"Mr. Jenks, I am here because I need your help" I stated honestly. He nodded, waited for me to continue.
"My name isn't Edouard Cigne, but Edward Cullen. I know what you do, and I need your help in that exact area, Mr. Jenks" I said.
"Cullen? The name sounds familiar. Unusual, but familiar. Would you by any chances be related to Dr. Cullen?" he asked. I nodded.
"Yes, Dr. Cullen is my father, but that is not important here. I need a new identity. I… Have to get out of here" I choked on the last part. Not only was the thought alone painful, even the words were killing me.
"Woah, easy there, son" he waved and sipped some water from his mug.
"Why would you need all that? Your parents didn't like your report card?" he asked, almost jokingly and he seemed amused.
"Mr. Jenks, does it look like I'm joking?" I asked seriously in a grave tone. He still didn't look convinced.
"I had a small run-in with the Volturi" as I said that his smile faltered and he looked horror-struck. He gripped his almost non-existent hair.
"What?! And you're still alive!" he asked, looking flabbergasted. Then he eyed me with pure astonishment and admiration in his eyes. He really made me uncomfortable.
"Guess I'm still breathing, but not for long if I stay here" I said. He nodded with a grave expression.
"We have to get you out of here… You have family?" he asked.
"Yes, but I don't want them with me. It would be foolish of me if I involved them and dragged them with me to the grave" I sighed, folded my hands and rested them in my lap.
"That's it. You're right" he said and he looked like he just got an idea.
"Are you willing to abandon every form for connection and relation between you and your family?" he leaned closer to me and stared me dead in the eye. I nodded without hesitation. It was a given. He reached one hand out and rested it on my left shoulder.
"You're a good boy who's in an unholy situation. I'll pray for you. You have to leave the country as soon as possible" how was I supposed to do so without my parents interfering?
"How are we going to do that?" I asked curiously.
"I know it sounds harsh, son, but we'll have to fake your death" he said with a tone of finality. I drew in a sharp breath, it was almost a gasp. It would break everybody's heart. Was it for the best? Bella… My sweet beloved, Bella. She would be forced to let me go. Alice, my dear sister, whom I had always shared a connection with. Carlisle and Esme… I pushed all thoughts about my family away. Leaving them behind would prolong their lives and ensure their happiness. Alice would have the chance of pursuing a career in the fashion industry. Bella would live a great life, marry and have beautiful children. She would die old in her warm bed. Her kind spirit was not to be chased or hunted. What saddened me the most was that I wouldn't be the one she grew old with, have children with and… I had lost the battle no matter what I chose to do.
"I agree, Mr. Jenks, but how do we do that?"
"Leave it to me. I just need… Your car and some of your possession that people would recognize" he said, quickly. I raised an eyebrow at him and felt a tugging from my pinkie. I looked down and saw the ring which Alice had given me.
"This ring…" I said as I pulled it off. I held it in front of my eyes, remembering the circumstances when I got it.
"My sister found it in a cereal box. She swore that if I ever took it off, she would reveal my biggest secret" I inwardly chuckled at the memory.
"Perfect. So she would be able to recognize it?" he asked. I nodded solemnly.
"Good… Your death will probably keep the Volturi at bay for a while. I don't think they will be fooled, so it is merely a decoy for a few years. You'll have to keep it low for a while" he warned. I laughed sarcastically. I was a magnet for problems – if not, problems find me. He ignored the laugh and got up. He pressed a button on the phone.
"Morgan, I need you to call Ryan for m e. Tell him that it's urgent. We'll also need Stephanie, but tell her to come in 2 hours. Ryan has to be here in one, thank you" he said and removed the finger from the button.
"Ryan's a professional hair dresser. He does my hair" he mumbled as he ran his hand over the bald spot.
"And who's Stephanie?" I asked.
"Photographer. We'll need photos for your passport and driver's license" he said and sat down again. "I have some favors to redeem from many countries…"
"Water, son?" he asked. I politely declined. He pulled out a paper and a pen.
"Let's take care of the basics" he said. I nodded.
"Your name is going to be Eduardo Cigne, as you said" he mumbled as he wrote it down.
"No, sir, I would like to be called Edouard. Eduardo… is a no-no for me" I said hastily. He looked weirdly at me.
"Inside joke" I replied shortly.
"Do you know what your last name means? It's French for a swan" he said. Yes, I was perfectly aware of that. That way I could carry a part of Bella with me, when I started my new life.
"Your ancestors are French, but they settled in England after WWII. I have contacts in London. Give me your keys and wallet with ID's now" he said. Already?
"Can I at least keep a couple of things?" I asked.
"What?"
"My guitar. The rest I need is in my pockets" I said as I fingered the velvet box in my pocket.
End flashback
I rose from the bed and circled my apartment. Everything had seemed so intimidating when I first came here. Even the toilet seemed like an alien object. Or lavatory as the British called them. It took months for me to master the British accent, even though my American shone through some times. But I had no problems now. All was well. Except for the fact that all wasn't well. I had a job and made good money. Mr. Jenks got me a job at a law firm. After years where I haven't heard from the Volturi I began mingling with the socialites, I was invited at parties. I was a simple 24-year old man who had a decent job and apartment. I needed nothing else. I constantly had women thrown at me – they threw themselves at me. However, only one woman would be able to fill out the empty void in my heart. Bella, my beloved Bella. I missed her a lot. Every night before I went to bed, I would look at our picture. It gave me strength, she gave me strength. It convinced me that what I was doing was right. She was safe and that was all that mattered to me. Though, I couldn't help but to contemplate the 'what if's' and what could have been.
I often caught myself wondering what our children could have looked like. Would we have a sons, girls or both? How many? Would they have Bella's gentle nature, hair and my eyes? Schools? Ivy League? What about names? I only knew that I would find happiness in Bella and live the rest of my life with her. But now it wasn't a possibility. Bella was impossible and unattainable.
It was strange not having a family to return home to. It was strange, knowing that you were dead to the family. I no longer existed – I was just a faint memory. I hoped Bella wasn't hurting as much as I was.
I glanced at my watch – 5 o'clock. I needed to take a stroll. I grabbed my coat and umbrella. Bare necessities in this city. I exited my apartment and took the lift down. The grey clouds glared at me as I got out on the streets. People were everywhere, each in their own little world. Even if we shared the same planet, we were in different galaxies. I adjusted my collar before I began to briskly walk away from the sad sight. I needed a livelier atmosphere and what seemed like the best place? Piccadilly Circus it is. Tourists and locals flooded the place. The statue of Eros stole the attention of many tourists. I leaned against a lamp post and took in the surroundings. This was a welcomed chaos. I saw some children running around, chasing doves. A little girl got too eager and stumbled in front of me. I quickly caught before her before she hit the ground. Her eyes were closed, she was waiting for the pending fall, but it never came. I steadied her on the ground. She looked like a 7-year-old. She opened her eyes and revealed a pair of green eyes and her auburn hair was pulled into two pigtails.
"Are you okay, darling?" I asked. I didn't have to think about my accent anymore. It almost came natural to me. She nodded carefully. I held her by the shoulders; I was still crouching so I was at eyelevel with her. I smiled at her.
"Isabel!" A woman's voice called out and got her attention. Her head snapped up and looked at the direction of the voice. A woman was fast approaching us, she looked just like the girl – this must be her mother. She reached us and kneeled down as well.
"Dearest Isabel, are you okay? I hope you haven't bothered this man too much" she said sternly as she pulled the girl to her and dusted her clothes off.
"I'm sorry, mum, he caught me before I fell" she said and bit her lower lip. She reminded me too much of Bella. It was painful. Her mother looked at me and smiled appreciatively.
"I know, I saw" she said as she nodded.
"She wasn't a bother at all" I said and got up. The woman was about to get up as well. She gasped when she finally saw all of me. Carlisle raised me to be a gentleman, so I held out a hand for her, so I could help her up. She looked at my hand and put hers in mine. I gently pulled her up. She didn't let go of my hand, even though I willed her to do so. Please let go, please let go.
"My name is Patricia Watson. I would like it if you would join us for dinner someday" she asked.
"My name is Edouard Cigne, I have to kindly decline your offer, Mrs. Watson" I said.
"Miss Watson… I just got divorced" she said as she tightened her grip on Isabel's shoulder.
"Miss Watson, I am a busy man, unfortunately, but if you ever need my service or help, I will do my best to assist" I said as I slipped her my number. It was hard to be a single mum. She smiled at me and I nodded.
"I'll be off then" I said as I nodded one last time before turning away. I needed a peaceful place now, so I ran over to one of the famous red busses going to my favorite place in the whole of London. I took a seat next to a sleeping man. His glasses were askew and his briefcase was quite big. You met different people on a bus. Who said a bus ride could be boring? The bus came to an abrupt halt. I looked down and found a car driving the wrong direction. Probably a tourist. I chuckled to myself. I was hopeless when I had to take driving lessons in London. I KEPT taking the passenger seat instead of the driver's seat. I KEPT driving in the wrong lane and don't even mention the roundabouts. Driving like a Cullen here would be signing my death wish.
I pressed the stop button, signaling to the chauffeur that I would like to descend. I decided to get off earlier than expected so I could walk the rest of the way. This area of London certainly was quieter. I glanced at the watch again. 6.15 p.m. that meant that there wouldn't be that many people here. I entered the park and looked at the scene unfolding before my eyes. Kensington Gardens. Trees everywhere and there was an odd serene atmosphere here. This was my favorite place in London. I took my time to take in the silence as I made my way to my spot. I stopped by the Italian Garden Fountains. It was a beautiful sight. I wish I could show it to Bella. Heck, I wish I could give her the whole world – If she'd asked me to. I sighed. Should I move on? Bella had probably found a love in somebody else. It sucks when your love is across the Atlantic and she doesn't know that you exist. I may sound like a teenage brooder, who's in love with a girl, who doesn't think he exists. Only that it's true in my case. I pulled myself from the fountains and headed to my spot. Luckily nobody was there and I could be myself.
The statue of Peter Pan stood there as lonely as ever. I walked over to it and touched the old material that formed the seven-year old boy. I looked at the small details adorning this piece of art. The small animals were carefully crafted and looked so delicate on the foot of the statue. I leaned against it. I often came here to think.
"What's up, Peter?" I mumbled as I circled the statue. I leaned against the fence and looked at him. Why was I forced to grow up like that? I wish I could go back in time, seven years ago, but I couldn't. I began to contemplate the dreadful what if's and what could have been again. It made my uneasy, and I thought it was best if I returned home to the apartment. The trip back was as lonely as ever. I had often envisioned Bella waiting for me in the kitchen with a batch of fresh baked muffins. She would run over to me and hug me, whisper loving nonsense in my ear. I would kiss her, shove my love in the kisses, hoping she would know how much I loved her. We would eat, joke and then I would carry her to the bed, where we would make sweet love. I hadn't had sex since Bella, nor did I want to. I must have seemed prudent to the world outside. I soon learned that I had no woman to distract me. I went over to my desk by the panoramic window and turned on the laptop. I logged on to my mail service and wrote my daily emails and replied most of them. But before I could turn it off, I had to do what I did every night.
Dearest love,
I dream about you every night, you are present in my thoughts no matter what time of the day it is. I see you everywhere, yet you aren't here. I long to touch your lovely skin, your hair and to kiss your eyelids. I miss your voice, your beautiful blush and your wit. I often find myself unable to leave the bed, unwilling to meet the world outside. A world that thinks that Edward Cullen is dead. During the day I'm Edouard Cigne, but here I'm Edward Cullen. I'm going to include an extract of a poem from Beethoven. You know how much I love his music.
My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
I belong to you and so does my heart, my dear Bella.
Yours,
Edward Cullen.
I typed in an address. Two minutes later I got an answer. Failure to deliver the mail to the following recipients. Excellent. You may think I'm crazy for writing to an address that doesn't exist. But the illusion of writing to Bella, just seemed to keep me sane – even though it seems like pure insanity. I went back to my bed and lied on my side. I grabbed the photo and sighed.
I love you, Bella – I'm sorry.
AN:
I know that there were many legal procedures I left out when he had to get out of the country – mainly because I know nothing about it! It's only fiction and it's a plot thing. It's been years since I last was in London, so I'm relying on memory and pictures. If any of you are Brits and would like to help me some time – your help is appreciated :D
Hope you liked it! Please review and I won't update for a couple of days. Though, I hope I have a new laptop under the Christmas tree.
Happy holidays and take care of yourself!
Love you all,
Anne