I watched Lulu skip up the stairs, leaving me alone with my mother. I turned and looked at her, my eyes searching hers for the truth. "Are you really happy for us?"
She thought for a moment, wringing her hands nervously as she paced the entry hall quietly. "Yes, I am," she said finally. "I know that you will find that hart to believe. I haven't exactly been welcoming of girls in your past, especially Georgie. And I have been hard on Lulu, but I see how good she is for you. I know how much you both want this baby. I think this is your chance for the family you have always wanted and I could never give you. As your mother, I couldn't forsake you that now."
"I'm going to need your support, Mom," I replied quietly. She was the only place I could look to for strength right now. Lulu needed me to reassure her, to be there to take care of her. I needed my mother to do that for me.
"Oh, Dillon, you have it," she murmured as she took me in her arms. It had been a long time since I had collapsed into tears in front of my mother. Other than when I was in the hospital and nearly died during the epidemic, I hadn't cried in front of her since I was a young child. "You will always have me. I know you didn't growing up, but I think I've done better in recent years. And your child will always have me."
I could hear the vulnerability in my mother's tone as she said those words to me. Though my family was insane and we fought, we always pulled through for each other in the end. There were probably a million times in the past when I cursed my Quartermaine name, but with her by my side, I thanked God that I wasn't anything else.
I would've never been able to give it away.
"Excuse me," Lulu announced softly from behind us. "I'm ready to go."
My mother let go of me and turned to face the blonde waiting patiently in the doorway. "Just let me go fix my face," she joked lightly, patting Lulu on the shoulder warmly on her way by. "I'll be down in a few minutes."
I nodded and watched her disappear upstairs. Lulu tilted her head and looked at me. "I'm sorry if I interrupted a moment."
"You didn't. I just realized that how lucky I am to be a Quartermaine."
"Our families aren't easy, but they are all we have. I've always known that. Even when I was angriest at my father, I understood that I had it better than a lot of people," she retorted. "My father always loved my mother, and even when he was gone, I knew that he loved Lucky and me. And not to mention, Nikolas, who truly is a prince among men. I have Bobbie, Lucas and Grandma Lesley. Just think of people who have nothing."
I laughed. "I have this bunch of loud, noisy, boisterous individuals that somehow fit together to make a family. This baby is going to be loved."
"It already is," she reassured me, leaning up to kiss me on the tip of my nose.
My mom came back down stairs, holding a ring of keys in her hand. "I'll drive if that's okay. I'd like to take Daddy's Bentley. Today is much too beautiful of a day to be stuck in a dark town car."
"That'd be nice," Lulu mused as she looped her arm through mine. "Today is to be celebrated."
Does it ever go away?
By the time we reached the hospital, my stomach was a jumble of nerves. Lulu sat quietly beside me, looking out the window. "Is it okay that I'm nervous?" she asked.
I turned to her and nodded. "It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one."
"I'm glad that I'm not going through this alone," she confessed. "When I first decided to keep the baby, I promised myself that I would be okay if I had to go through this alone. I'm glad that I won't have to try to keep that promise to myself."
"You could have done it, but I'm glad you won't have to," I reassured her.
"No, you don't," my mother said pointedly as she swung her legs out of the car. Dressed in a turquoise tunic and black pants, she was the epitome of business and style as always. She had always prided herself on putting the best foot forward, and it made me smile to know that she did so even in times like these.
"Let's do this," Lulu declared, walking confidently into the hospital with my mother and me at her heels. Her blonde hair glowed beneath the fluorescent light as she walked past the front desk where Elizabeth was working.
"Lulu, hey!" Elizabeth called, rushing around the desk to greet her sister-in-law. Pregnant herself, Liz had been a lot in recent months with Lucky's addiction. Forever strong, Lulu had confided in me that she hoped they would be able to patch everything up.
"Hey, Liz," Lulu said, pausing to hug her warmly.
"Why are you here?"
"We're on our way to her first ultrasound," I explained.
"Congratulations. I won't keep you, but stop by to let me know how it goes, okay? I'm going to see Lucky later, and I'm sure he'd love to hear some good news."
Lulu nodded. "I'm glad you're going to see him. I will stop by on our way out," she promised before leading us down the hallway.
As we rounded the corner, I grimaced. Maxie was leaning against a wall, looking over a clipboard when she spotted us. "Well, if it isn't my brother-in-law and the mother of his illegitimate child."
"And you're one to talk how?" Lulu asked sarcastically.
"Maxie, there you are!" I heard a voice call from the other end. Wincing, I shifted my eyes down to where she stood. "Oh, you have to be kidding me."
"Great," Lulu muttered under her breath.
"We don't have time for this," my mother announced loudly, putting her arm around Lulu, shielding her from the wrath of the Jones girls. "Come on, Dillon."
Further down the hall, Lulu peered up at my mother. "Thanks."
"It's quite alright. We're here now," she murmured as I held the door open for them.
"I'll go sign myself in," Lulu told us both before retrieving a clipboard from the nurse. She filled out a form in record time before pacing in front of the row of empty chairs. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet," I joked.
"Sorry."
"I was kidding."
"Sorry, I didn't get that," she smiled. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into my lap. She nuzzled close to me, my hands resting comfortably on her womb. We stayed like that, waiting silently, until Dr. Kelly came out. Usually a nurse handled the patients, but because this was a Quartermaine heir, Grandfather had made sure that we were given the best service our name could buy.
"Lulu, I will see you now," she greeted us warmly, ushering the three of us down the hall to a spacious private room. "You can change in there," she explained, pointing to the bathroom in the corner.
Lulu disappeared for a few moments to change into the lavender paper gown. "Okay, I'm ready."
Dr. Kelly shook her head and started up the machine. My mother said quietly on one side of the table, talking to Lulu about painting a nursery to keep her distracted. I watched as the doctor prepared a sticky gel and then moved the ball across Lulu's still-flat abdomen. The two women still didn't pay attention to what was going on until I gasped. The first image of my child, barely a blip on the screen really, danced before my eyes.
"What is that sound?" Lulu asked excitedly, leaning forward slightly to see the screen.
It sounds like a baby.
"That is your baby's heartbeat," Dr. Kelly replied.
"It's strong," Mom said proudly. "Just like a Quartermaine."
"Strong like a Spencer," Lulu argued.
"Strong like a Spencer-Quartermaine," I remarked, pacifying them both.
My mother got up and moved to the corner, indicating that I should take Lulu's hand. I leaned over her and kissed her forehead tenderly. "This is…"
"I know."