A/N: I apologise in advance for the mass amounts of messages in this story. I'm a phone addict so to me its normal... The story is totally different to how it was before and since i've re-edited it, i've had no new reviews. I don't know if its cos no one seems to like the way its going or if its cos seems to be abandoned...what's with all the great ff being removed from the site? Please review, if not - enjoy.

Chapter 5 – "See The World"

I didn't pay attention at school on Monday. Rumours, I guess by then had spread. Words were whispered when my back was turned, hands pointed inconspicuously behind school books. My name became synonymous with groupie. My locker was graphitised in typical revenge style, "cheating slut," sprawled in red permanent texta. I pretended I didn't care. Inside I was freaking, I was dead worried Charlie would hear about it.

It was normal for an all girl's school I guess.

It just had never been directed at me before. I had always been the girl who walked alongside Alice and Rose, who never strayed in my studies and didn't hold grudges. I was the scholarship girl who won awards and was applauded politely on stage. I never drew attention to myself. And now suddenly I was the one who everyone looked at. I felt self conscious when I walked in the corridors. I wondered who had decided to spread the Goss. I wondered who had seen. I wondered what exactly had been said. Was it the kiss? The fight? Rose's breakup? According to the rumours, Edward and Rose's break up took place in the car park last Wednesday. Rose had slapped Edward before pushing him. She had cried. He had gotten defensive. It sort of didn't help that my name apparently had been shouted over and over during their fight. I became paranoid of everyone I sat next to in classes. They all gave me the once over like I had some sort of illness. My week long absence surely hadn't helped matters.

Alice thought it was quite comical. She skipped alongside me. Every person she said hello too glared in my direction. She snapped back "Bella says Hello too," as they hurried to retreat. Rumours of my infidelity caught on and suddenly everyone was declaring how much of genius Jake was. I'd walk past and people I had never met before were suddenly declaring how sorry they were for him to have been entangled in a relationship with me. The Wolves would play in the student's lounges when I entered except within a minute someone had always changed it to The Cullen's live recording. One of the assistant staffers, who'd been helping me all year on my art project.; cornered me as I washed out all my pain brushes. She stated sadly "I thought you were better than that." I wanted to turn around and slap at her.

But then again, I had thought I was better than that.

And then at lunch I approached the table that Rose was sitting at.

I know, Quelle horreur!

The entire room fell silent.

Rose laughed. She pulled out the chair next to her and grabbed my lunch tray shoving my food into her mouth. When I raised an eyebrow in annoyance, her mouth full with chocolate muffin she snapped, "Hey you're the one who started this sharing business."

The whispering started. My face blushed. The attention was uncomfortable. The glares were debilitating. I wanted to go home. But I couldn't let "them" win. I wasn't even sure who my enemy was anymore; people who felt i'd wronged Rose. Girls who disliked my scholarship. I didn't know anymore. I sat with my chin on my hand. My eyes staring out the window, trying to escape the gazes of girls in my year. Trying to forget that Edward had only messaged me once in the past week.

Alice slid into the seat next to me, huffing she crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm jealous."

I choked on my food. Alice had always been someone who craved attention but surely, she couldn't be jealous of the hateful stares? "Of what Pix? The attention? You can gladly have it all!"

"No! What I just heard, on my way here. Thanks to Rose's intriguing comments I heard that the three of you; Edward, Rose and you were involved in some sort of threesome sex affair and I WASN'T INVITED."

Rose snorted. She put her arm around my shoulder. "Next time Pix, you're the guest of honour."

Alice smiled widely, "thanks love."

**

Rose invited me over to her house after school. I agreed. Glad that she was seemingly 'over' the Edward situation. But I knew something was up because in the car she ignored my presence. Alice too. I stared out the window y nerves growing as we got closer and closer to Rose's.

I kept checking my phone.

Hoping I would of at least heard from him.

***

Rose and Alice skipped inside. Rose told me to get her mail. She was acting like I was her errand girl. But I guess it was penance.

I was too busy looking at a catalogue to realise the door was shut. I pretty much face planted into it, screaming out in pain as my face smacked the corner of it. I heard someone laugh inside. It didn't sound like Rose. Or Alice. I knocked. Scared of who was on the other side of the door.

"Ahhh, I'm fairly certain it's unlocked." The voice was male and most definitely not Rose's.

He stood in the doorway between the kitchen, in a pair of jeans and an 80's band t-shirt. Eating a bowl of cereal. I felt a wave of nausea hitting me; he looked so comfortable in her shouse. Had often had he been staying at Rose's? A crooked grin flickered across his face when I entered.

"Hello Isabella." I merely nodded. Too gobsmacked to speak.

"Edward." He smiled at me. His hair was scruffier than normal. My god. His hair. I wanted to touch it. His eyes penetrated mine again and I remembered how I hadn't seen it in a week. I felt starved.

"How are you?"

"Fine." I shook my head slightly to regain control. When Edward smiled like that my knees became a little weak. "How are you?"

"Fantastic now." I let that one slip.

"Ummm, where is Rose?"

"Yeah, Rose…ummm…. "He coughed. "She disappeared out the back with Emmett. Sorry." A different grin. More of a grimace actually. I tried to swallow the bile. Great. What a fantastic topic for me to talk to him about. "And Alice was on the phone chatting at a million miles an hour to someone, she disappeared into the spare room."

I sat on the couch and he sat next to me. "Sorry. I...she just...I was unaware you were going to be here. She asked me over, Alice giggled and I thought it meant they were planning on...I haven't heard from you...I." I decided to stop talking then.

He looked amused. I felt safe knowing he wasn't going to say anything about my stuttering.

"Nice uniform there." I blushed. Stupid private school. I kind of hated how I went to an all girl's school, with their snobby uniform and entrance exam. Thank god, I had gone co-ed when I was younger otherwise I'm sure I would have been some sort of boy retard. Yes Bella, because you're so much more immune to boy's charms now. I rolled my eyes. Our uniform was...well...we had knee length kilts, no, not a skirt but a friggin kilt. Finished off nicely with a shirt, tie, jumper and of course our ever classy blazer. Unfortunately for me, Rose and Alice could afford to get their kilts tailored a little better and theirs sat above the regulated length and actually had some sort of shape. I could not afford to get it tailored; I was after all on an academic scholarship. Not to mention my father refused, so naturally my kilt sat long and shapeless making me look like a blob. It was even more noticeable when I shadowed the constantly beautiful Rose and Alice.

I grimaced back at Edward. "Thanks."

He took a mouthful of cereal before the edges of his mouth slipped up. I glanced sideways at him and my eyes narrowed. Yes he was about to makes some smart arse comment. I knew he was aware I was glaring because he was openly smiling now. "It's like a weapon or something; it should come with a warning."

I shot him a look that scolded his sarcasm. "Shut up." He grinned back at me. I couldn't help it, I grinned too. Despite not knowing what we were. Despite freaking out every time I had been in his presence. I felt calm. I had a pull towards Edward. A strange feeling overwhelmed me when I was with Edward; it wasn't just the lust I had by looking at him, but one that seemed to change how I responded. I was more open with Edward, more willing to expose who I really was. That caused havoc with my emotions, usually I was the quiet friend, the one Alice and Rose relied on. But when I was with Edward, nothing else seemed to matter.

I was also hyper aware that he was less than thirty cm away from me.

"So Bella I was wondering what are you doing later tonight?" Edward hurriedly took another bite of his cereal as though it would quench his nerves. If I hadn't been repeating my mantra over and over in my head I might have jumped to conclusions.

"Nothing, I suppose...Charlie expects me home by eight though.... Rose, asked me over here but I don't exactly think there was a reason..." I swallowed the nerves. "Now, please don't take this the wrong way, but did you come over here with Emmett because...I mean...isn't that a little weird? And why are you eating cereal at 4 in the afternoon?!"

"I am picking up my stuff that I left here. And I haven't had breakfast yet." It made sense. In my Edward haze anyway.

"oh." there wasn't really much more I could say. I wanted to ask if they'd broken up because he thought there could be an 'us.' Or if it was more the whole cheating thing.

He brought me out of my daydream. "I guess you heard then." It didn't make sense what he was asking.

"Heard what?"

"Rose and I broke up... I guess you could say...I'm single." My nasty comment from Saturday night came back to haunt me. Was that the reason he was telling me? I wanted to ask. I wanted to know. But I was scared. I blushed remembering how bold I had been.

"Yeah, it was all over school."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. The rumour mill is in full swing...last I heard my sluty groupie, cheating ways, had somehow morphed into a band rivalry and I was the casualty. Oh and I was the reason you broke up...hard to miss really." My voice wobbled. I clenched my jaw down trying to keep the tears at bay. My head hurt. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to cry in front of him. It was becoming too much. The slurs at school. The confused feelings. It was all too much. The weight of it all had been piling up and now it was going to fall. Fuck. I was going to be in hysterics if we continued to talk about this.

"What?" he was shocked but I guess he could sense how I was on the edge, his voice had a comforting edge to it.

I sucked up the pain and let my sarcastic snide come out. "I forgot the greatest bit, I'm pregnant and your band is about to break up."

"Jesus, you're serious!" the outrage was getting to me.

"Everything but the last part. I just hope the janitor cleans my locker before Charlie finds out what was written." I broke down then. My voice snapped in half. The tears spilling. The most unlady like hiccup sobs sprouting from my mouth. He pulled me into his chest. My fists gripping onto his shirt. Clawing at his comfort. His hands running through my hair comforting me as I cried.

"Why are they doing this? Why? I hurt Rose, I hurt Alice, and I hurt Jake. I didn't do anything to "them." Last week the only reason they knew who I was was because of the awards I won. And now? Strangers accost me in the halls Edward. People I have never spoken a word to in my life glare as I walk past. And I was only there one day. How the fuck am I meant to deal with it for the rest of the week?"

"I'm so sorry love. I don't know what to say, I don't know why everyone is being a bitch. I don't know why they all care. Fuck, I am so very sorry it had to start like this." I pretended I knew what he was talking about. I pretended it meant what I wanted.

Alice entered the room about a half hour later. She squished next to us on the couch. She hugged my side and said she was proud of me for not breaking down at school. She started telling me how Jessica Sanders had been caught smoking in the bathrooms after sixth period and tomorrow that would be the only thing anyone remembered. Edward held onto my hand tightly, reminding me he was there. He didn't say much. Just laughed at Alice's stories, his chest rumbling under my body. I filled them in on my art encounter and we joked at the assistant's expense. Emmett and Rose decided to go get us all pizza. We ate in the living room floor, one big happy group. Edward kissed my forehead and Alice drove me home.

His message said "Trust me, it will be alright."

I went to sleep believing it.

**

He called Wednesday night. It was after 1am. I lay under my cool sheets. My phone cradled to my ear. The anxious butterflies of a crush in overdrive. I needed a definition. I needed his words. I needed him.

E - "What ya doing Bella?"

B - "Well I was Sleeping Edward."

E -"shit, sorry. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

B - "I'm awake now. Don't worry about it."

E- "I can't sleep."

B - "Why not? Have you tried counting sheep because I watched some doco in psychology last week and it said that counting sheep helped?"

E- "I can't sleep because I haven't seen you in two days."

B - "Wow, cheesy much."

E - "Sorry I've been writing. Turns me to mush."

B -"finished a song yet?"

E -"haven't had time."

B -"prey tell me Edward, what do you actually do with your time outside gigs?"

E -"I have a job. Well two jobs. I am a struggling artist after all."

B -"you're signed."

E -"so? It's not like a gazillion bands aren't signed every year. We haven't even completed our first EP yet and that's quite sad. The band has been seriously struggling as of late to record."

B -"why is that?"

E -"oh, our dumbarse lead has been distracted."

B -I didn't want to ask about what. I knew what he meant. "Two jobs? What else do you do?"

E -"oh, I work as a waiter down at Lizzies...my aunt is the namesake so I work there..."

B -"wow, you work at Lizzies? That's like that expensive as Seafood restaurant."

E -"correct. My uncle is a partner so it's not like I got the job on my own merit but I like it enough."

B -"and the other job?"

E -"I...ummm...I teach piano to kids. Nothing major just a few students."

B - "since when!?"

E -"well it was court mandated when I was arrested...but then I stuck at it. I feel I owe these kids something you know, I never had a cool piano teacher so I'm trying to be that for them."

B -"you're a cool piano teacher?"

E -"laugh it up Isabella."

B - "Why do you call me that now?"

E -"because I can."

B -"you could before."

E- "No I couldn't."

B -"can I call you Eddie?"

E -"I am most definitely not an Eddie. We have a gig next week...not this one but the week after, please come?"

B -"I think I can manage it Ed."

E -"Pfft, definitely NOT Ed either."

B –"Waiter boy?"

E –"only when I am at Lizzies... Now off to sleep you go. I think I can manage a few hours now."

B -"night Masen."

E -"Sweet dreams Isabella."

**

School was average for the rest of the week. I was in serious struggle town because of the week I'd missed but I was getting there. I managed to hide out in the library. Alice was mostly right, Jessica's smoking incident took a lot of my spotlight away.

Edward didn't call or respond to my messages. Rose said he was ridiculous busy and she knew this because Emmett had cracked it at him. The band really was having difficulty recording. Apparently, Edward kept on making plans then cancelling. He was always 'working.'

Esme and I went for coffee on Thursday night. She bought hash brownies and we laughed at each other. It was great catching up with her. She ranted on and on about Carlisle while I explained how I didn't know what Edward and I were. She laughed. "Masen isn't thinking about anything else other than you these days." I crossed my fingers under the table, hoping I didn't double jinx myself.

I was meant to be home in time for diner but I wasn't. Charlie cracked it and I was grounded. I think he was slightly pissed about the whole failure to 'fix' things. Oh and the Edward/Bella saga had finally made its way into the Station. I didn't know which version he'd heard but let's just say Charlie was not impressed an ex druggo lead singer got into a bar fight over me with his best friends son.

He referred to Edward as 'boy.'

As in "are you going to see that 'boy' this weekend?" "Have you heard from that 'boy?" "Are you sure you think this 'boy' is a good shot?" I rolled my eyes. And told him I was grounded this weekend so the likelihood of seeing Edward was unlikely.

He seemed satisfied.

I worked Friday night. I tripped over a tennis racket and sprained my ankle. My manager put me behind the counter stamping lay-by forms for three hours straight. It was bloody boring. I daydreamed. I fell asleep listening to recordings of The Cullen's.

On Friday, I didn't hear from Edward. On Saturday I didn't hear from Edward. On Sunday I turned my phone off. Monday, Rose told me the band had spent the whole weekend inside recording. They were all crawling the walls. Apparently Emmett and Carlisle had ended up in some fight. Edward had to be the peace maker. By Sunday night, they were barely on speaking terms.

Emmett was at Rose's Tuesday night. I tried asking him about Edward. He said I should call him. That was all. Emmett played me in battleships and it turned nasty when he started cheating. I picked up the whole game and through it at him. He tackled me to the floor and started tickling me. Rose called us immature children and kicked us both out. Emmett offered to drive me home but his phone rang and then he went all funny. I knew it was Edward on the other end.

By Wednesday I felt like a clingy girlfriend. My sent items consisted of messages asking is he was alright. Complaints to Alice that he was ignoring me. Questions to Rose and then more messages to Edward.

He finally messaged Thursday night as Charlie was driving me to work. I screamed for joy scaring Charlie.

"Not ignoring. Piano man prep. for student perform. Waiter boy= million shifts. Cullen= recording. Miss you. Come over tomorrow?" I didn't know if he meant he was coming over to mine but I didn't care.

Work was entertaining. I managed to slice my finger open with the Stanley knife, the one I had named "STANISLAS." Clearly some of Alice's weirdness has rubbed off on me. Eric was working but I found myself happily answering his questions. He asked me if the Cullen's had a gig soon, I told him the following week. He asked if I could message him the details. I said I'd think about it. There was no way in hell I was sending a message from my phone to stalker boy. Eek.

**

He answered my unspoken question in third period. It was simply his address and the word 'please.' He left a rambling message on my voice bank, saying he wanted to pick me up from school but was trying to avoid any psycho gossip mill stories.

I responded with a brief text; 4pm. Alice said she'd drive me. I was giddy with possibilities. God I was ridiculous. I tried to ground myself but it didn't seem to work. I tried to think of horrible things, of the bitch of a French teacher I had in last period, the feral food I had to eat at lunch, my horrible uniform. Nothing seemed to calm me down. I was like an energiser on red bull.

Or Alice in general.

Fml.

***

I took a deep breath. This was it. I'd never been here before. My fingers had fumbled on my phone. I was so nervous. Alice had given me a pep talk in the car. I had decided on one thing. I would knock. I would say, hey Edward, I didn't tell you last week and I don't know if you know but I broke up whatever was happening with Jake. And now we're both single. Funny right? The door opened on the third knock. Only a smidge though. Edward's face popped out. He grinned. He had known I was coming.

"Hey." I liked seeing him grin at me like that. The door opened fully, we both stood facing each other. Tension was in the air, I could feel it.

"Hi." My voice was quiet. He grinned again.

"How are you?" I couldn't really reply though, I was too busy looking at what he was wearing. Jeans, white t-shirt and his leather jacket. Lust overwhelmed me for a second. How was something so simple making me want to jump him? I knew I should have changed out of my uniform. But I hadn't wanted to waste time. I guess my hair was atrocious. My make up all smudged off. Hell I didn't even think I had any lip balm in my pocket. And he was looking like a friggin god. It wasn't fair. Maybe I should wait until I looked a little better dressed to tell him? No. Bella, you came over here to say. I broke up with Jacob for you and you broke up with Rose. It was only what he usually wore to practice. Had he cancelled a band practice to see me? Did he even want to see me or was this way of asking me to stop messaging? Shit. How sure was I that he even wanted me to break up with Jake? Perhaps he had been kidding. Maybe he enjoyed toying with his girlfriends friends? Maybe his reaction at the gig the other night was because of the fierce loyalty he had for friends. Panic overcame all other feelings. I opened my mouth and shut it again. I couldn't tell him now. This is so fucking embarrassing. I blushed. Confusion flickered across Edward's face. I needed to say something. Anything. Why couldn't I speak?

"Jake and I are no more." The words hadn't come out right. My eyes dropped to my shoes. My bloody scruffy sandals. At least I could have put some better shoes on this morning right? Maybe I should have called Alice, well at least he knows now. I still didn't look up. "I thought you might like to kno-"

"I already knew. Alice told me."

"Oh, I wasn't sure…you never said anything."

"You didn't either."

"I was waiting for you to lead." I had meant in the way we didn't talk about Rose or Jake. It came out laced with innuendo.

His arm pulled me inside. His lips met mine. The door shut behind me. His body angled me against the door. That would be right; he had a thing with pushing me against walls didn't he? I could feel his hard length, press into me. His legs fell between mine. His knee slightly nudged my legs wider. It gave me butterflies in my stomach and made my knees quiver. The knot in my stomach was full of anticipation.

"Rose?" he growled against my neck. Fear overwhelmed me; did he think I was Rose? Did he not realise it was Bella? Was this some drug fucked Edward who was hallucinating? Had he really been busy or was this drug addict talk? Tears came to my eyes, fuck I needed to get under control. I struggled against his arms that had wrapped themselves around me. I struggled to swallow."Bella, did Rose tell you everything?"Relief hit me. Angst gone. Anxiety gone. He knew it was me. And the way his voice dripped with lust caused me to fidget with my feet. I needed some sort of relief. Anything.

"I saw her at school today." He nodded. His lips kissing slowly up and down my neck. The contrast of his hot breathes and the cool air only made me need him more. He pressed himself closer against me. I could feel him restraining, held back by the material, he was rubbing his arousal in tight circles, over where I needed him and it was driving me crazy. The tension in my lower stomach accelerated when Edward's zipper hit where I desperately needed him to be.

"Do you know why we broke up?" the kisses stopped. He leaned back slightly, I hated the space between us and immediately grabbed fistfuls of his jacket, and I pulled him back into me.

"No, she didn't say. We haven't talked about it. Other than my multiple apologies." My voice was flighty. High. Aroused. Fuck I was in trouble now. I was worried where this conversation was going. There was a high probability that the break up was Rose's idea. By proxy, she could ruin this moment and then hunger I felt would not be satisfied. Wanted to cry. I wanted to keep Rose as my friend. But I wanted Edward, now. Edward's legs shuffled between mine. Fuck. I was lost now. I wanted to know but only if it was good.

I fucking need this. I needed to pretend. I need him to show me it's worth losing possibly two friends over. He needs me to show him it's not all about the chase. I don't mean the sex. I need Edward to be close. Intimate. Here, for me. And me only.

"We talked about you." My hips reflexively pulsed forward.

I couldn't focus on what he was saying, what I was feeling was over powering my brain. "What?"

"Me and Rose." My legs gave way a bit and Edward grabbed onto my thighs. His touch marking my skin as his. Without a conscious thought, I began to rock my hips against his. Edward let out a low guttural moan and I bit my lip. His voice was harsh, breathless. "All we talked about was you."

"About? ….fuck." my voice was higher still. He knew it was because of him. Between kisses, he smirked.

"She…told…me, to take it slow with you. Because you were worth it. And I agreed." The euphoria that filled my chest was only matched by the growing need of Edward. My hands grabbed onto his back, I pulled him closer still. He groaned again. His hands flittered up and down my thighs, under his touch they twitched. I couldn't lose the smile from my face. I couldn't breathe properly. Edward and Rose, over because of me. Edward single. Me single. I felt there should be some sort of mourning period but it hadn't been like that with Emmett and Rose. As far as I could tell, there was no bad blood between them. It wasn't going to be like that with us. Us. Me and Edward. My incisive thoughts were only shoved aside by the feeling of Edward. I let myself go, as his hands gripped my thighs. As his hands ripped my legs out from underneath me. As he curved his hands around my bottom and pulled me closer still. His chest smashed against mine. His arousal pressed into where I needed him. His hips meeting my unconscious thrusts. My heels clicked together behind him, silencing any space between us.

"Really?"

"Yes Bella…I'm…. I want…you…I'm…all… yours." He was just as breathless as me. We were a tangle of limbs. Fully clothed. His hips pumped into my legs, I groaned. He groaned. It felt perfect. The way it was meant to be. Not like with Jacob. Full of the passion. The need. The connection that iced my veins when we were apart was fusing us together. I wanted to go faster. I wanted there to be no clothes separating us. I needed him so much closer.

One of his hands ran through my hair, pulling it back from my face. The other continued to hold me against the door. Continued to support the two of us as our breathing deepened. As we rocked against each other. My hands were wound tightly in his hair; I pulled on them every time his hips caused the friction I craved. I could tell he liked me pulling his hair because with every tug a subtle moan came out of him and his lips attacked me once again.

I wasn't worried I'd have a hickey. Because if I did, I would know it was from him. Everyone would be able to tell. Everyone would know. Edward and Bella. Finally. Not Rose. Not Jake. Not even the fucking gossip mill. No it would be the two of us. And suddenly all I wanted to do was mark him as my own. My nails dug under his jacket. Dug into his skin.

"Fuck Isabella, what's that for?"

"Now, everyone knows." Realization flicked across his face.

"Trust me love, they see your neck, they'll fucking know." Shivers erupted on my spine. Edward laughed. He kissed me softly. The way we rocked together caused the tension to increase. I didn't understand how so easily it had been to give Edward everything I had, especially after everything. Especially after it all.

A felt the door move against my back. I ignored it. But then I heard a knock. I ignored it. Edward kept kissing me.

"Edward." The door shook again.

"fuck." my hands dropped from Edward's hair and rested on his shoulders. His hands moved to my waist and backed us away from the door. My heels still locked behind his back. Our arousals still grinding into each other. He kept me stable as he walked backwards. A sheepish grin on his face. I kissed it once. He pouted. I kissed him again. Even with him holding me I couldn't stop the blush reaching my cheeks. He rolled his eyes at me. The knock became impatient.

"Who is it?" his voice wasn't steady and I stifled a laugh. "Shhh Bells." He squeezed my hips tightly. I shivered.

Silence.

"Edward, open it up. It's Jasper."

Edward sighed. He still held me against him though. I wondered if I was too heavy and started to slide down his body. He gave me a warning glare. I ceased all movement. His face turned from warning to amusement before finally replying to whoever was behind the door.

"Jasper?" he sounded like he didn't believe it.

"Yes man, open the fucking door up." Edward smirked at me. He kissed me again, his body still wedging me against his. I tried to stop the moans. But it was difficult. Who was this Jasper?

I snapped my neck back from Edward, scrunching up my nose I asked with my eyes, who he was. Edward shook his head from side to side. He then kissed me hard. He was trying to regain my attention. His grip on my legs tightened. His fingers danced along my legs before resting on my arse, pulling me closer to him. I wanted to cry out but he smuggled my mouth with his. Slowly his lips moved along my neck. I shivered.

His voice vibrated against my throat. "No, I'm busy come back in like one…no two hours." I smiled at him. 2 hours? His face lost some of its confidence when I smirked up at him. Bloody cocky.

"I haven't seen you for ten months and you tell me to come back later?"Edward sighed and put his head on my shoulder. He littered it with kisses. I tried to stop the giggles. I suppose it was the wrong response because he gave me a hurt look. I bit my bottom lip and Edward's head snapped forward, resting on my shoulder. He kissed along my collarbone, goose bumps flaring along the skin. I struggled to swallow. I wanted to scream at Jasper to go away, I didn't care if Edward hadn't seen him in ten years, and I needed a release. Now.

Edward was distracted also. "I'm…umm…with someone Jazz."

"Oh…OH…Hi Rose." Edward sighed into my neck. I clenched the tears away. Great, even when they weren't dating she was an instant mood killer. I closed my eyes again and dropped my legs. Adjusting myself I half smiled. Edward kissed my forehead. His eyes starred into mine. I nodded. I knew he was making sure I was alright before he responded to Jasper.

His fist slammed on the door above my head. "It's not Rose, dickhead."

"Fuck sorry man….Tanya?" the voice sounded unsure. The dread. Fucking groupie scum. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose before opening the door. I wanted to scream. I knew I had my theories, but to have them confirmed, Tanya, really? Gross.

I just cleared my throat as Jasper took in my appearance. Presuming he was one of Edward's friends I held my hand out for a handshake. Jasper gave Edward a subtle glare before shaking my hand.

I tried to smile as I stated more confidently that I felt, "umm no, I'm not her either, I'm Bella."

"Oh Nice to meet you Bella…sorry last I heard Edward was dating some bird called Rose." Edward put his head in his hands. He avoided both our eye contact. Great. I had to answer for him.

"Yeah. She's my best friend." Edward made no movement. I hated how he didn't speak up. My jaw tightened in anger.

"Oh." I watched as Jasper's eyes got bigger. I felt my stomach drop. That didn't come out right Bella. I made it sound like I was sharing Edward with Rose.

"Jesus, I didn't mean it like that…We're both single...now." I don't know why I tacked that on the end. I was thinking of what Edward and I were now. I was thinking of how less than an hour ago, I felt like my heart was broken and now I was standing next to Edward, hoping he actually liked me for me and not because I was some revenge fuck.

Edward took a step towards Jasper. He spoke humorlessly but I saw the seriousness in his eyes. "No she's not Jazz, she's taken." A smile spread across my face without realizing. Edward grabbed my hand in his. I giggled. Jesus, how old were we?

Jasper held up his hands in surrender. "Don't worry bro; I am staying clear of the opposite gender until I can find one that can see the future." I noted his southern drawl. His blonde scruffy hair. His piercing blue eyes. The more I looked at him, the more I felt like he was an approachable person. The more I felt he and Alice would get along. I smirked. The effectiveness of Alice's intuition could be classed as foresight.

"I know just the person." The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Emmett had Rose, Esme and Carlisle. If I planned it right, Edward and me…so then Alice needed someone that would fit. Plus, if Alice liked him it would mean I was back in her good books. She still hadn't fully forgiven me for hurting Rose. I smiled widely at Jasper.

Edward cleared his throat and I noticed he was subtly adjusting himself. He was also shooting daggers at me. Shit he better not think I was trying to hit on Jasper. I didn't want to reveal Alice's name until I knew more about Jasper so I just used her general nickname.

"I mean the pixie." Edward's lips briefly parted in understanding. I was hypnotized by how swollen his lips looked. I swallowed the buildup of saliva. Shit, I bet I looked like I was drooling. Edward hadn't noticed and he just nodded. He still looked exceptionally uncomfortable. I sat down on the couch. Jasper sat opposite on the armchair. I looked up at Edward expectantly, where was he going to sit? But he was distracted and he almost seemed to be hopping from one foot to the other.

Again, Edward's taunt voice piped up. "Ok…umm I am going to take a shower, so do you mind if I leave you two for a bit." I shrugged not making sense of it. Jasper sighed a laugh, what? I was confused.

Jasper smirking knowingly at Edward. "A cold shower I presume?" fuck. Realisation. The look on his face made sense now. The jiggling. I blushed. Jasper laughed. Edward chuckled. My head fell forward and buried my face in my hands.

"A fucking freezing shower actually." Edward messed up the top of my head as I shrunk down into the couch. Kill. Me. Now.

They both laughed. Edward caught my shrinking in my seat. "Its fine love, don't worry."

I scrunched up my nose, shaking my head I almost stuttered. "It's embarrassing." Edward walked out of the room then. I heard the shower start up a minute later. Jasper and I sat in stunned silence. Mortification didn't even seem to be the correct word.

Jasper laughed again. His eyes flicked between back to mine "what's embarrassing? Edward finding you so attractive that he gets off thinking about you? Or that I walked in on the two of you almost having sex?" I don't think my face would ever recover, for the rest of my life it would permanently be stained red.

"Yes." I squeaked it out. Did he really have to put it so eloquently?

Clearly he didn't understand me. He just kept probing. "To which?"

"Jasper!" my voice was strained. My head buried deeper in my hands. Quickly I unfolded them, my hands tried desperately to hide the mammoth hickey I knew was on my neck. The mark labeling me as Edward's. I knew it wasn't working though because though he didn't make a sound, without looking up, I knew Jasper was amused.

Suddenly a boisterous laugh that reminded me of Emmett echoed in the room. Jasper's eyes glazed over; again he held his hands up in surrender. "You're really not like his usual girls."

"No I guess I'm not." His comment made me feel self conscious and I couldn't really understand why.

"Oh god, I don't mean it like that..." he tried to change the conversation. "So this girl…"

"No way. You embarrass me like that, so I get to go first. How do you know Edward?" I wanted to know everything about Edward. The little Charlie had told me and the little I knew personally didn't add up. Perhaps Jasper could shed some light on the two different personalities. Mind you, I don't think it would change my feelings; I was already in deep enough.

Jasper lent back in his chair. Closing his eyes I realised based on attractiveness alone, Alice would thank me for introducing the two of them. "We went to school together… well he went to school I just sort of wagged every lesson. Thanks to Edward, well his tutoring and my occasional visit to school, I scraped together enough attendances to pass, not well but enough to get the stupid certificate."

"Oh. SO he's smart?"

"Yeah. Edward's practically a genius. Music was a given, he completed it about three years before anyone else. He won a couple of lit awards…song writing you know? Yeah, he was my best mate… umm do you know Emmett?"

"Yes. He and Rose." I gestured awkwardly with my hands. I heard the shower stop.

"Oh… that makes sense now. Well Emmett, Edward, Carlisle and me used to get around back in the day." "Get around?" was that some sort of euphemism I didn't understand? Was he referring to more whoring days, or was it just like they hung out and such? Did he mean drugs? I wanted to know the answer.

"Meaning?"

"Well those nutters had a band…I strayed from traditional forms of entertainment." Traditional forms of entertainment? Could Jasper be any more cryptic?

"I am so confused."

"Edward was covering for me when he got busted for possession." I knew my mouth dropped into an O shape. I wanted to slap him. He immediately recognized the change in my demeanor but he mistook it for ignorance. "I'm sorry; I thought you might have known, he got arre-"

"My father is a cop."

"And what you're going to dob me in now?" he almost sounded panicky. I tried to stop the laugh that slipped from my lips.

"No, I just meant because of that charge he hates Edward."

"He doesn't hate Edward."

"Trust me; he hates Edward." I sounded confident. Charlie would so kill me if he knew I was pushed up against a door by that 'boy.' He probably would kill me twice over if he knew I was having conversations like this with a known addict. Hang on, was he still an addict? I almost became panicky. Would Edward leave me in a room with an addict? Was Jasper safe? How realistic were those TV show addicts, you know the others who flipped out because they had no cash? Fuck. I was acting like I had never seen anyone do drugs before; I was acting like I was Miss clean and innocent. Had Edward and I not shared a joint at his party the other week? Had Esme not given me brownies to have with my coffee last Thursday? Did he trust Edward? Did I? Had Edward spoken to Jasper on a regular basis? I mean he knew about Rose so…. what, Edward must have at least spoken to him in the last month…. I took a deep breath. Fuck. I needed to calm down.

"Oh." He pulled out a cigarette, he gestured between me and it. I shrugged, not caring. I didn't mind if he smoked. Hell Edward smoked. Jasper smiled slightly as he lit up. God. Just that simple gesture calmed me.

"Its fine…are you still…?" I didn't want to ask if he was still using. Would that make him crack it? Would he get ultra aggressive? I didn't know. I wanted Edward to come back now.

"God, no. after that charge I realised how I was messing my life up for everyone else not just me. So I umm checked myself into the most unlikely of places." He took a long drag. Smoke filled the room. He gazed off towards the bathroom. He was waiting for Edward to come out. What the hell did he mean though, "the most unlikely of places?" I sighed and a lazy grin flickered over his face as he glanced back at me, his eyebrows rose as though daring me to ask. I narrowed mine.

"Are you always this cryptic?" he laughed and took another drag. Again, the calming sensation filled the room.

"I went to military school."

Yeah. Completely not what I had expected. My response was somewhat a startled screech of the word "what!?" Which caused Jasper to chuckle?

"Yeah. They actually exist. The drugs, the constant turf wars I had with some people, the crowd I travelled with, the mates that Edward hated; well it all got too much so I shipped myself away."

"Well…did it work?"

"Not at first. I just got into more serious trouble; harder street fighting that sort of stuff but then I met this guy Gareth and well he was fairly ace and helped sort I out."

"Well that's good." Jasper was so honest. He barely knew me and he was telling me this stuff. It made me realise how close he must have been to Edward to instantly trust a friend of Edward. It made me feel safe.

"And then I felt it was time I came back and apologised and all that shit to Edward…and if I like it here… who knows, it will be good catching up with all those guys though. As chick like as it is, I missed them." He sighed. I heard Edward pad down the hallway.

"My friend's name is Alice." I grinned baring all my teeth.

"Excuse me?" the cigarette dropped from his lip.

"That's her name…" did he want to know more? "Alice… well Mary Alice but if you call her that she will murder you in your sleep, street fighting abilities or not."

"Alice."

"Yes."

"Very cute." He grinned back like I had before.

"She is." He smiled at me.

Edward appeared. His eyes showing appreciation that Jasper and I had gotten along well. He sat down next to me. His hand playfully held mine. I grinned up at him. Edward was dressed in his leather jacket. I knew that if my hands travelled under the jacket, the marks I left claiming Edward as mine would be visible. It made me want to snuggle under the leather. Instead I gripped his hand tighter. His fingers flexing in between mine.

"Now Jasper, what are you doing in town?"

"I'm here to meet Alice apparently." I grinned. He seemed to be excited by Alice.

"Good, because I am stealing Bella, right this second. We can drop you off at Emmett's. He can take you to Alice."

I stood up. My hands on my hips. I scrunched up my nose in mock annoyance. "I don't get a choice in this do I?"

"No, Isabella you don't….now Jas, you ready to go?" he nodded. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.

**

"Where are we going?" he turned to me and grinned. His eyes giving way to the devious thoughts I'd seen in them earlier. But instead, we pulled up at some parkland car park. I wasn't exactly a hiker, so the idea of an afternoon outdoors wasn't the first thing that popped into my head when

"Somewhere special." I tripped over a rock and Edward demanded I climb onto his back.

He stumbled with me perched on his back. My legs clinked around his waist, my head resting, snuggled into his neck. He hummed me a song he was writing. I told him to quit smoking because he was wheezing. He told me to shut up. I laughed. It was carefree. He called me beautiful. I kissed him on the back of his neck, under his ear. He shivered. My heart swelled. It felt right. We felt right.

And then we found it. A small clearing. I slid off his back; he gallivanted around throwing away all traces of other people. He wanted this to be ours. Our modern mystery. I held my hand over my mouth amazed at what this boy was doing for me.

We lay down. My head over his heart. He had a pen in his mouth. A notebook in his hand. Occasionally he would strum away on my side. He was composing in our field.

He turned to me with a smile on his face. He looked happy.

"We found this place together, Isabella."

"What's with the Isabella?"

"I don't know. I like it. I can call you what I want now."

"I suppose you can."

"Isabella."

"And I don't care what you say, I think it is likely to be Eddie....mind you Masen is growing on me."

"Pleaseeeeeeee I will never be an Eddie." I laughed because he was right. And he kissed me. And I felt like I was floating. He took me home when the rain fell. He said he'd call.

He didn't. But he messaged later than night.

I'm sorry for the lack of call Isabella. Been writing all arvo. Something inspired me I guess. :)

I called Rose and gushed about my day. She sighed. "It was never like that with me Bella." I apologised for being so inconsiderate. She dismissed what I was saying. She added Alice to the conversation before giving me a play by play of her sexcapades with Emmett. Needless to say, what was heard cannot be unheard.

***

I went with Edward and Jasper to some friend's house. It was a small party I guess. Carlisle and Esme were out to dinner with their parents. Emmett and Rose were coming later. Alice had demanded Jasper pick her up at 10. I wasn't sure what Edward and I were. I just knew he was sticking by my side like glue.

The blonde haired boy from the bar fight, saddled up to Edward just after Jazz left to get Alice. His hair was oily. Slicked back in a pony tail. He wore a leather jacket and dark jeans. He smelt of rotten booze and pot. I didn't trust him. Edward gripped my hand tightly. I wondered if it was because this "James" had called me a whore or if it was because he was dangerous. James was edgy.

"Edward my boy, haven't seen you in quite some time... am I seeing things or is Jasper back?"

Edward sounded serious. His tone was laced with something I didn't understand. "Yes James. Jazz is here. He's not interested though."

"I am sure I can make him interested."

"He's not alright...let him be." James gestured for Edward to have a private chat.

Edward let go of my hand. Leaning towards, he whispered so that James wouldn't hear.

"Can you message Alice and tell her to delay Jasper for a bit?"

"Should I be worried?"

"Nope. All is well."

He walked over towards James. I stood by the back door. Messaging Alice. She promptly responded with a "already planned on it." I don't know why but I heaved a sigh of relief. Something about James was off.

My mind was in over drive. Trying to piece the bits together.

James knew Jasper before.

James was creepy. He knew Jasper when he was doing drugs.

He knew Edward when he was arrested for possession.

Edward came back to me. "I'll be back in a minute Bella." Edward kissed my forehead like I was a five year old child. I felt sick. I knew James was not someone Charlie would approve of.

James was slimy.

My brain clicked it all into place. James had been Jasper's dealer.

And Edward was walking into the bathroom with him. Alone.

I knew Edward had lied when he referred to his drug dabbling as "a long time ago." I guess I thought, I would have some sort of sway. I wanted to cry, he was hurting himself and I was in too deep, he was hurting me.

I burst through the door and my stomach dropped.

Both of them were resting against the sinks. The mirrors loomed over them. The lights were bright, artificial and left a yellow tint over the room. James was cutting up some white power with a credit card. Edward was standing next to him. Hunched over, watching, and waiting.

They obviously heard me enter as both their heads snapped up in the mirror above them. I made eye contact with Edward. I snapped. His face paled. He turned around to confront me; I could see a plea on the tip of his lips. I walked up to him and shoved my hands against his chest. His head thumped into the mirror. It probably looked a sight, a small girl in heels standing over a grown man. I knew I had tears dribbling down my face because it hurt. It hurt. I didn't back down.

"What the fuck is this?" I didn't recognise my voice. It was harsh, solid, and stable. Unlike how I really felt.

"Bella, honey, listen I was just..."

"I know what you were 'just' doing Edward. That shit will kill you." I looked at the menacing powder and shivered. James' face morphed into one of a dealer, his eyes were sullen, his face agitated.

It was commanded. "Edward, control her or get out." I waited to see how Edward would react. He seemed stuck, unsure what to do. I wanted to run away and hide because he was so unsure. I hadn't dropped eye contact with him.

His eyes broke from mine. He pulled me off him and stood up. Facing the dealer he said, "James, seriously..." he trailed off.

James let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen you dumb slut, Edward screws girls, he does drugs, he fights boys, he lives a lot harder and faster than you can probably even imagine. Stay away from shit you don't understand, now get the fuck out of here."

The silence echoed in the bathroom. Though Edward didn't say anything he angled himself between me and James in case it was needed. I bit my bottom lip. My heart was racing; I needed to get out of there. I needed to go find Alice and Rose.

I looked up at him. "I can't believe you would do this."

"Isabella..." he was defeated. His arms rubbed up and down my sides. It wasn't good enough. I couldn't date him if he did this shit. Not when Charlie was my father. Not when I had a minute understanding of what this would do to him. It was tearing me apart. He was tearing me apart.

"No! I need to go." I pushed off him and walked out the door. Edward followed me. I felt a sense of calmness wash over me. James scared me. It only just sunk in, my teeth were chattering, my legs knocked together. I was scared in there. Scared he would turn into someone I didn't know. Fuck. What if the Edward I knew was never clean. What if, my Edward was a by product of the coke.

Answering my unspoken question, Edward grounded me. "I haven't done any of it for three months."

I need to clarify. "No drugs?"

"Only pot." He was anxious.

"In three months."

"Yes, since Rose...and well....you, actually." I was mad. He was acting like I should be proud of him. Like I should forgive him for scaring the fuck out of me. For wanting to relapse.

"Then why now, why, when we have an actual chance would you....I thought I was enough."

"You are."

"Obviously not Edward....I have to get out of here."

"I'm coming with you." I didn't protest.

I don't know where I went for the rest of the night. I don't know who I spoke to. I know Edward didn't leave my side, he didn't smoke anything. My hand was in the pocket of Edward's leather jacket, holding on for dear life. His arm was slung casually over my shoulder. He picked up the slack of conversations that went on around me. I was in a daze. Freaked out and alone. Alice arrived. She was positively giddy. She asked a few times if I was alright. I guess I placated her with an answer because she left earlier than she normally would with Jasper. I was happy for her. I was happy for him. Even if I knew his arrival had brought this all back on Edward.

I lie. I remember one moment of the night with perfect clarity. Edward and I were talking to Emmett by the back door. Em had been outside and had come back inside for a drink. Emmett was juggling about three cups. Edward laughed and I smiled. We must have been about to leave because we said goodbye to him. When I was about to turn away, Em went rigid. His back straightened up, his eyes snapped to Edwards, his jaw ground together. The two of them shared a conversation without words. I glanced a look behind me.

James stood there. His arms crossed over his chest, a cigarette between his lips.

His beady little eyes looked me up and down. Intimidating me I guess. Edward pulled me closer to him.

"Nothing happened Em."

"Better not Edward."

"Bella made me see reason." They shared another one of their unspoken conversations.

Emmett finally let out a sigh of relief. His shoulders dropped, "I knew there was a reason I loved you squirt." I seemed to snap out of my daze then, because I winked and pulled Edward's head down to mine. Kissing him with all the emotions the night had held.

I didn't see James again.

***

I woke up in Edward's bed. The clock said 9. I freaked out immediately. Charlie was going to murder me. I bet he already had half the town's police force out looking for me. I rolled over, keen on getting my arse home as soon as I possibly could.

"No, you're not running away."

"Edward, I have to call Charlie and explain. He will be freaking out."

"Jesus, you were really out of it last night weren't you."

"What?"

"Alice called Charlie for you; you're supposively staying at her house."

"oh." It didn't matter. I needed to get away from Edward and think about what had happened. About everything. The comforting on the couch at Rose's. The make out against the wall. The lovely meadow. And then tarnished with last night's near relapse.

"Where the hell are you going now?"

"I need time to think Edward."

"No you don't, not after everything last night."

"Especially after last night! What were you thinking, not only is my father the police chief but you told me you were done with it all."

"And I am."

"How am I meant to believe that now?"

"I don't know Isabella, maybe because I need you to. Maybe because everything between us is finally aligned. Yeah, I know I fucked up. I wasn't thinking straight. I saw James and the urges came back. But you're right, you are enough. I don't need any more of that. I get enough of a rush on stage...I"

He looked so lost. So scared. I wanted to trust him. I needed to give him that. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes fine."

"You're not mad?"

"I am as mad as hell. But there is nothing you can really do about that. If you fuck this up though. God help you, I am not giving you another chance."

"I won't."

"No drugs?"

"None."

"I think I'm fast falling in love with you Edward Masen."

"I know what you mean Isabella."

He smiled. And pulled me closer. And we were fine again.