First off this chapter is a little short and frankly Im disappointed with it. I have been adding to it for over a month and still it just doesnt sing to me... Maybe it will to you so Im realeasing it to see what you think... I have also been doing the same with all my other stories and a new one that I put on paper a month ago but havent realeased yet. SO please review and tell me good or bad whatever... Im in some serious writers block on all stories.. I guess my family problems have influenced me more than I thought... So I send out a cry to all... PLEASE HELP ME... --

Secondly since is being a b and wont let me upload so all updates will be on site only for the time period...

Angel7669

Chapter 6: Emotions

'What is he so upset about? And why do I feel this sense of loss? I mean he never once mentioned last night so why?' Once the doors had closed and she knew he was gone. Thinking about what he said she realized she needed to hurry. If she been asleep all this time, the kids would come looking for her soon and she still needed to change. Gathering another dress like the one she put on earlier, this time in white, she hurried along to the bath. Once done she returned to her room to deposit her items, and then made her way down to the dinning room.

When she entered she found everyone in their positions at the table, and assumed her position at the opposite end of Sesshomaru. No one spoke at first and soon the food was brought in, once it was placed before them and the servants left, the children couldn't contain themselves any longer. Soon followed where a string of questions, about where she been, was she in danger, did she find some pretty flowers, or a secret garden that she would take them to. She handled all the questions in order and also directed the children in their table manners at the same time. In the end they all had managed to eat their food and have a delightful conversation. Except for Sesshomaru who sat the whole time eating his meal observing the conversation. This was one time he did not feel annoyed at being ignored. To him the evening's conversation seemed right as if it belonged here. But that was utter nonsense, still it did bring the briefest of smiles to his face. At that moment he realized he was being watched. Looking over at the woman before him, she smiled at him like earlier and turned her attention back to the children.

To say he was shocked was an understatement, for the second time today she gave him that winning smile of hers. The one he knew was totally for him, maybe he had misunderstood earlier, but not now. 'Maybe it is time for me to really look at this human woman. She is strong and powerful, she would fight for my home and care for my family. She's willing to admit her weakness and learn to overcome them. This miko will take my help and trust me to teach her and make me at ease knowing she is here to protect my home. Maybe she could be the one, but could I really accept her?' He stared at her some more watching her smile and hearing her laughter with the children. Noticing how she scolded but was kind, how the children learned the lesson. Yes she was a great mother, and how much the kitsune loved her, and how his Rin seemed to love her. He knew that look for so many years, the look she once only gave to him. He knew his decision before they ended their meal; he could love the miko Kagome.

After dinner, Shippou and Rin managed to talk Kagome into letting them sit and watch the stars in the garden. Not doing anything with them all day she decided that this once she would allow them to stay up. Going out into the garden the children lay on sleeping bags she brought out for them and watched the stars. Kagome sat on one of the benches under the Sakura tree watching them and then the stars. The children talked amongst themselves, watching the moon and seeing pictures in the stars. Shippou was pointing out to Rin the constellations Kagome had taught him. Kagome relaxed under the tree, leaning against it and smiling at the children's chatter. Never once did she notice that someone came and sat beside her.

"Are you still tired?" came to voice at her ear the second time today. This time she did not jump, she stayed in her position, still gazing at the stars.

"Not really but I was at first." She said pausing for a moment. "You know, you should get some rest also" turning to him she gave him a serious look making him stop his obvious reply.

"I know what you said earlier, but I have known for some time you have not been sleeping. I could see it when you came to me a week ago. Since I have been here you still do not sleep. I know you had business last night and things to prepare for. Still a youkai needs rest sometime. You cannot train me and prepare a battle if your falling over with exhaustion." She stopped there knowing he got her point. It was basically the same speech he'd given her but it applied to him also. She found that she was very worried about him, she should be in fear of him, but none of his actions had proven that she should. If she didn't know him like she did, she would seriously think he was really trying to make her his mate. Turning to look at the sky, she smiled at the thought and found it rather appealing. For some reason she just knew what he was thinking, wanted and needed, yet she could tell she was a mystery to him. If they were going to be raising a family together, they needed to understand each other and look out for one another.

'Did I just think that, us raising a family? But we are, we both have adopted Rin and I have Shippou and he did agree to help him and teach him. The things a father would do so it is true, but why does it make me feel so good?' She thought about this as she paid more attention to the sky once more. 'Maybe its not so bad, I mean we have found some way already to not fight and some what respect each other. Well it's only been one day but that still is good for us considering our past. Besides I made this decision for life once I took on being a mother to two children. And even though I'm not his mate, in what really counts I am. He has trusted me with the things he holds dear and I will uphold his trust.' With her mind made up she looked at the youkai beside her once more. She hadn't realized that he moved closer to her and now was holding her hand. He was looking at the children laughing and had a smile on his face. Not wanting to spoil the moment, she watched the children also not saying a word.

She didn't know that he was reading her mind the whole time and knew what she had thought about. It rather amazed him too, that they were raising a family together. Still it only made him smile; he made his decision earlier. He might not mate with her, even though the thought was very appealing, but he did respect her and maybe cared for her. He knew she cared for him, or she would not worry so much about his health. She was not like the others, she cared about him for him and not for what they could gain. And the prospect of her being with him for the rest of her life did seem rather appealing also. 'Yes she was a good choice, maybe one day, well one day… who knows.' He didn't really remember at what point he took her hand, but he was happy.

Days turned into weeks at the castle, Sesshomaru had started training Kagome at dawn everyday, finishing before breakfast. She was getting better with her use of weapons, even though Sesshomaru told her she still needed more training. But she could see the admiration in his eyes when she would best him on those rare occasions. Life was peaceful and moving along smoothly. When her training was over, they would all gather to eat and talk, well mainly listen to the children. Then Sesshomaru would do his morning patrol, which in the beginning would last until after lunch. Now he would come back before then with an hour to spare. In that time they would sit in the garden and watch the children play. After lunch Sesshomaru began Shippou's training, teaching him different techniques to be able to utilize his kitsune powers. Then after they would all gather for dinner talking and chatting, as Sesshomaru would watch from the head of the table. Once dinner was over, Sesshomaru would do his nightly patrol, then would return after Kagome had let the children play once more in the garden. She would take the children for their baths, then take them to the study and read them a new story every night. All the while Sesshomaru sat at his desk going over papers, on rare occasions he would read to them when Rin insisted. To anyone who didn't know his or her past, it would appear to be the most natural thing in the world to see. They were a family and acted as such, even though they were not mates.

Two months passed since their first arrival and Kagome was really improving in her lessons. She found out soon enough that he had been a little easy on her when they began. Now she had to fight for her life when she trained, he held nothing back and expected the same from her. With this new training, it left her very tired and she would rest in the afternoon. Which left Jaken to watch the children, a task he dreaded, since their favorite game was dress up. Or their next favorite pin the tail on Jaken, or how many flies can Jaken eat? (A/N: Can you just see it, Rin with the tail in her hand, as Shippou uses his Kitsune magic to hold Jaken. )

After one such lesson, Kagome headed for her room for the usual nap she had planned. Jaken of course was in charge of the children. She knew that Sesshomaru would be leaving to do his patrols of the land. So she would get a peaceful rest this afternoon, better than the one she had the day before. Which led to the headache she had this morning before practice and made her moves a little sloppy and she had a few bruises to show for it. Still they were nothing she couldn't handle now, and rest was more important to her at the moment.

She lay across the bed making herself as comfortable as possible, but after two hours she just couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Sesshomaru plagued her constantly lately, ever since her second night at the castle. Even though after that night they only really spent time in the company of the children or other servants when they trained. But about a month ago on one such night with the children something happened. Sesshomaru had been talked into reading a story to the children, while she and the children lay on sofa. At some point they had fallen asleep and Sesshomaru took them to their rooms. When he took her to her room, he had for some reason kissed her cheek and she awoke. She had felt the kiss and watched him move away from her. Ever since that night she had caught him giving her even stranger looks than his usual. Just the memory alone made her feel a little funny, but also a little frightened. This had been the first time she could not really tell what he wanted. He was a puzzle to her once again as he'd been long ago.

Deciding that a bath would be best she gathered her things and headed for the spring. Knowing that at this time of day no one would be there. Moving through the corridors of the castle, she could hear the children outside when she passed a window. She knew the servants would be preparing lunch soon, since she skipped breakfast almost an hour ago. Moving on her mind began to drift back to the thoughts she been having recently.

'He is very handsome, and even though I try to forget, that night we shared was great.' She paused then groaned at the thought 'Why do I have to fall for demons, why not a nice normal HUMAN guy? Get it together Kagome, besides the day Sesshomaru would actually want you more than to grace his bed. Is the day Shippou beats up Inuyasha, Miroku is no longer a lecher and Sango is the new Kami.' She laughed at the thought, as she made her way into the spring. So lost in her thoughts, she never noticed the occupant on the other side of the room. Disrobing she entered the water and closed her eyes still laughing at the thought.