Hey guys. Sorry it took me a little bit longer to update this week. Hope you like this next chapter:D

I don't own copyright infringement intended!

Emmett's POV

So far the bear count was at fifty and I seemed to be somewhere in Canada. I was so going to show them all! I just couldn't wait to see their faces when I was done and showed them my pictures. Rose was going to be so proud of me! I could almost hear her praising now. Silly Bella hoping that a bear would eat me. Nothing could attack the Wilderness Man. Three bears came into site then and even though I was filled with so much blood I felt like I was going to throw up, I was at least going to kill them. It was then when I went to pounce on them that something started to attack me from behind.

Rosalie's POV

"Edward," Bella sighed, for the one millionth time in her sleep. You would think after a while she would shut up; but no. I was seriously considering cracking just to get out of here. Edward and I were not talking which was perfectly fine with me. He got mad at me when I was trying to find ways to shut her up. Apparently he had a problem with my plan to tape up her mouth shut and tie her under a tree somewhere.

"Edward," Bella sighed, with a small smile on her face. I would give anything to smack that smile off her pretty little face. Why oh why did the world hate me? What did I do to deserve this torture?

"I believe, the fact that you had plans to tie her to a tree and tape her mouth shut might have something to do with it," Edward said, glaring at me. Why was he so mad about that? I didn't think it was that big of a deal! I mean it wasn't like I was going to actually hurt her.

"Oh, shut up and quit being a baby!" I hissed, throwing Bella's toiletry bag at him.

I hit him right in the face, which was really funny. The shock and anger on his face made me laugh; his whole body tensed up then and it looked like he was trying not to come over to me and hurt me. Stupid Edward, always trying to be a gentleman; I really didn't care if he attacked me, I could hold my own.

"Four more days, four more days," he kept chanting to himself, with his eyes closed.

"Talking to yourself is one of the first signs of insanity, you know," I said, laughing a bit. He glared at me again before a smile came to his face.

"Really, well then, running around eating as many bears as you can, and referring to yourself as the Wilderness Man is the signs that you need to be in a straight jacket in an insane asylum," he said, with a gloating expression on his face.

"Touché," I said, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes. He had me there and he knew that I wouldn't be able to deny it.

He clucked at bit and turned back around to face his peaceful sleeping Bella. I needed a form of revenge for that comment. What would bother him the most….. And then it came to me, the Volvo! I decided to start with the inside; it was very painful but not as painful as the outside. I pictured the gray leather seats, the carpet, the stereo, and that's when I heard his sharp intake of breath and saw his body tense up.

Then I went under the hood and picture the whole inside showing him different pieces and parts. His breathing was hard and he was so tense he was shaking. That's when I went for the kill I showed him the outside.

"Stop," he hissed, standing up so fast that the tent shook. I enjoyed the tortured look in his eyes and it only gave me more confidence.

"Stop what?" I asked, trying to look and sound as innocent as possible.

"You know what!" he growled, waking Bella up.

"What's going on?" she asked, sitting up slowly with a confused look on her face.

"What Edward, you don't like this?" I asked, showing him the outside of the Volvo again. Edward crouched on the ground then and growled at me with a look of pure hatred on his face.

"Edward, don't attack her," Bella said, stumbling over to him until she was standing in front of him. She put her hands on his shoulders and started to mumble some crap to him. I was impressed with how brave she was. No one in their right mind would stand in front of Edward when he looked like that. I couldn't figure out why she cared if he attacked me. I wasn't nice to her and I knew she didn't like me that much because I was mean to her.

That was when I heard a strange sound. It wasn't anything that an animal would make and it didn't sound like the wind or a falling tree. I could hear all the way to the high way but it didn't seem like something a car would make.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, still trying to decode what it was. Maybe one Edward would know, or if Bella heard it she might know.

"Hear what Rose?" Edward asked, sounding irritated.

That's when it happened; something started to attack the tent shaking it and ripping it. Bella and Edward ran out screaming, well, I was stuck inside trying to get out. I heard laughing then and that's when I figured out it was Alice and Jasper. They zipped up the opening and started to take the tent out of the ground. Something started to move inside the tent on the other side, well I was trying to rip my way out. I looked over and started screaming loader when I saw that it was snuck. The tent started to roll with me in it and of course the skunk got scared and sprayed me. By the time I had ripped myself out I was completely covered with its disgusting spray!

I smelled so bad; there was no way this was going to come off! Alice and Jasper were going to pay for this! I would be lucky if Esme would even leave me in to stop the smell. Even worse than that, I broke the mirror trying to get out. The mirror! How in the world was I going to live through the next few hours we were kicked out without it? I could never remember hating my life as much as I did at this moment.

When I got back to the campsite I expected to see everyone standing there laughing at me; but the only one there was Edward. He was pacing between the rocks that were around the fire. He looked like he was going to kill someone and when I came over to him he handed me a note.

Dear Edward and Hag,

If you are reading this Bella and Emmett are now Confederate hostages. They are at the Confederates camp site and the only way to get them back is to fight.

Hope your having a lovely morning.

Lots of love,

The Confederacy.

Ps to Edward: We will not hurt Bella so calm down. I'm disappointed that you even thought I would. What kind of sister do you think I am?

Ps to Hag: I hope you like your knew name!

"I'm going to hag her one!" I screeched, ripping the paper up into tiny little pieces. "Let's just get this over with so I can get this smell off of me."

We both took off running into the forest as the sun started to set, ready to go kill the Confederacy!

Bella's POV

"Bella, please stop moving," Alice said, with a frustrated tone to her voice as she tried to keep a hold of me. She had my hands behind my back and was trying to get me over to a tree. She wasn't using much of her strength with me, so I had to use the time I could well, she was being nice to fight.

"I will stop moving when you let me go, you insane midget!" I said while I tried to kick her to make her leave me go. I was about five seconds from killing the midget and her insane husband. I was now a hostage; a Confederate hostage. They had snuck up on me when I was laughing at Rosalie and went running with me. Now I was on their stupid campsite which had a real fort. I had to admit it was impressive; it was made out of trees and had many doors and windows. To my surprise it had little leaf designs around every door and window. It was huge; it went across the five trees that were close together. I couldn't see the inside, but it was probably just as great.

"Bella, it's not nice to call people hurtful things," Alice said, finally getting a hold of me so I couldn't move. She was pulling me over to a tree and she started doing something with my hands.

"What are you doing? " I asked, panicking.

"Tying you to a tree," she answered, calmly. She was acting like this was normal. I lost it then and started to freak out. I could feel my whole body shaking as she sat me down and tied my wrist together.

"You're what!" I managed to shriek. I was unable to move as she tied a huge rope around the tree; leaving me unable to move.

"I'm tying you to this tree," she said, shrugging as she sat in front of me. She looked happy; even though her hair was a mess and she wasn't in fashionable clothes. For Alice that was like death. But surprisingly she was smiling at me and looked excited as she sat cross legged in front of me.

"Alice this is insane! Can you please untie me, please?" I said, begging. I was thrashing and trying to get myself untied while I talked, but I wasn't having any luck. Edward was going to kill her when he came for me.

"Bella stop," Alice said, putting her tiny hands on my shoulders to stop me. "Do you want me to go get Jasper so he can calm you down?"

"No!" I shouted, that seemed to please Alice. She let go of me then and sat in front of me again. Jasper scared me even more today then he did yesterday. There was no telling what he would do to me.

"Edward and Rose well be here to get you and Emmett in five minutes. So clam down and breathe; you look like hell Bella. Are you ok?" She asked, looking worriedly at me. I probably did look like a bear at attacked me at the moment.

"Of course not Alice. In what strange dimension would I be? Also didn't you just say they were coming to get me and Emmett?" I asked, confused now. I was comforted now that I knew that I only had to be tied to a tree for five more minutes. Of course, Edward might just kill them all.

"Well Emmett's not here now, but he'll come running in like an idiot at some point. I thought Rose would be mad that I made her run all the way here to get Emmett and he's not even here." she said, with a devious look. Her whole face lit up when she talked about her plan; she seemed to be enjoying torturing Rosalie. It was just more proof to never mess with Alice when it came to her clothes. "And if you think you've got it bad you have no idea."

Alice's face changed to mix between anger and pouting as she said the last part. I raised my eyebrows and she leaned in to whisper in my ear. Apparently she didn't want Jasper to hear.

"I'm really sorry about this, Bella. I didn't want to hold you hostage, but yesterday before we were kicked out I promised to be on his side and not leave him. So you see that I had no choice; I've been dealing with crazy Jasper all night. And trust me its much safer for all of us if I just go along with him." Alice whispered, as she backed away she gave me a serious look letting me know that she meant every word. She just shook her head and sat back down again. All I could think about was her saying that it was safer for all of us if she went along with it. How far was Jasper willing to take this? Would he really be ready to hurt or do something worse to someone if he thought he needed to.

I was about to say something when Jasper called down from the fort.

"Alice I need you," he said, appearing at one of the doors of the fort with a stick across his chest. I was pretty sure the stick was supposed to be a gun.

"Coming Jazz," Alice said, rolling her eyes as she got up. "They will be here in three minutes. Please don't hate me for this, Bella."

She took some fabric and covered my mouth with it; I would have gone off but the sad look on Alice face kept me from doing anything.

"Sorry," she said, with a pained edge to her voice. She kissed my cheek before dancing off towards the fort.

Jasper's POV

"What Jasper?" Alice asked, after she jumped into the fort. "Why do you have a stick?"

She looked like she was mad at me though I couldn't understand why she would be. We were about to fight with the enemy; I was excited for war. She had her arms across her chest and was tapping her foot waiting for my reply.

"I needed a gun, Alice," I said, smiling at her. "I hear the Union troops. They're coming from the north. Is the captive ready?"

"First of all, this is not a gun," She said, taking my gun and breaking it in half. "Second of all I already know that. And third of all, the captives name is Bella and you know that."

What was with her? Why did she break my gun? We were at war and she was making friends with the captive!

"Just forget it Jazz. Apparently you're to far gone, I'll go get ready for the Union." Alice said, rolling her eyes and jumping down from our fort.

Well, at least she was getting ready for the fight! I went over to the other side of the fort to see them come in. If the stuck to the way they were coming I might be able to attack easily. Though the mind reader was going to be a problem. I was going to have to keep my thoughts far away from our war plan. Nothing was safe in my mind with him around. As I waited for war I started to sing a Confederate song, The Bonnie Blue Flag.

"We are a band of brothers and native to the soil, fighting for property, we gained by honest toil. And when our rights were threatened, the cry rose near and far. Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star. Hurrah! Hurrah! For Southern rights hurrah! Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star. As long as the Union was faithful to her trust, like friends and like brothers both kind were we and just; but now, when Northern treachery attempts our right to mar, we hoist on high the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star."

I was about to sing more when I heard their loud approach. They seemed to be fighting a silly mistake for young soldiers. I knew better that fighting only caused you to lose to the enemy.

"Who goes there?" I asked jumping down in front of them.

"Knock it off, Jasper, where are Emmett and Bella?" The blond one said, rolling her eyes. She smelled badly of skunk which meant that our plan had worked! Both Union troops were waiting for me to speak and that's when I realized my worst fear had come true; they were banded together!

"I knew that you Union scum would band together!" I yelled, spiting at their feet.

"That is disgusting, Jasper." the blond one screamed. She had the nerve to smack me! She actually touched me with her filthy Union hand!

"You left us a note that said that you had Bella and Emmett. We're not banding together," the mind reader said, rolling his eyes. He stood with the lack of pride that could only come from a Union soldier; arms crossed and slouching like a slob. This was going to be easy.

"Likely story, mind reader," I said, smugly.

"For the love of god, Jasper, it's Edward. You really have lost it," the mind reader said, actually stepping closer to me. That was a sign of war for me, and that's when I attacked.

Bella's POV

I watched in horror as Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward came, fighting to where I was. I could smell the skunk spray coming off Rosalie, and Alice started to laugh mumbling something about skunk. They somehow managed to get Jasper pinned to the ground and that's when Edward saw me.

"Bella," he screamed, staring at me in sock. I desperately wished I could answer back and let him know I was ok.

"See Edward, I'm not the only one who thinks about tying her to a tree and taping her mouth shut," Rosalie said, pointing to me with a smug smile. That had me mad; did everyone think it was ok to tie me to a tree? What was it, 'tie Bella to a tree and tape her mouth' day?

"Keep him pinned down and he might not kill you." Edward hissed to Rosalie as he ran to me.

"I'm going to go have some fun with the hag," Alice said, patting Edward on the head when started to untie me. Alice danced off with a smug smile looking please with herself.

"I'm not through with you, Alice!" Edward screamed, from the other side of the tree. He sounded furious and I could only imagine what his face looked like at the moment. "Bella I am so sorry, there will be hell to pay for this."

He had me undone then and I could finally talk. I throw myself at him and found a better use for my mouth as my lips found his.

"Thank you for saving me," I said, kissing his cheek and warping my arms around his back so I could hold him close. I was so happy to be free and to be with my hero.

"Are you ok did they hurt you?" he asked, holding me at arms length to make sure I was in one piece.

"I was perfectly fine until you pushed me away," I teased, smiling at him. He smiled at that and held me again. Edward and I were so wrapped up in our own little world that we had forgotten about the fight. A scream from Rosalie got our attention.

Both Alice and Jasper were pinning her to the ground with wild expressions on their faces. Rosalie was helpless with both of them on her.

"Go before they kill her." I said, smiling at Edward. He kissed my forehead and then ran over to them leaving me standing there alone. Or at least I thought I was.

"Boo," Emmett said jumping out from behind a bush and scaring me to death. I tripped over my own feet and ended up on the ground. Emmett was hysterical as Edward ran over to help me up look worried.

"Are you ok?" he asked, picking me up off the ground and gently kissing my forehead before putting me back on my feet.

"Yeah, Emmett what the," I said trailing off when I actually looked at him. He was completely covered with a mix of what I guessed was bear blood, mud, and pieces of plants. His hair was sticking up in random places and twigs and other things were in it. His clothes were torn and his shirt was barley there. Basically he looked like he was attacked by something. There was no way he looked that bad just from hunting.

"Emmett, what happened to you?" I asked, staring at him in sock. I noticed the everyone but Jasper was gathered around Emmett, who just stood there smiling.

"Babe, are you ok?" Rosalie asked, going over to him with a look of horror on her face. Of course when she went to hug him Emmett ran away from her and ran up the tree that I was tied to making leafs fall on us.

"What happened you Rose?" he asked, holding his nose.

"Alice and Jasper put a skunk on me. But what happened to you?" she asked, she was mad at him for walking away from her. She had her arms crossed and stomped her foot madly as she asked him.

"It was awesome guys!" He boomed his whole face lighting up as he started his story. Obviously he was perfectly fine and I could tell he was going to get animated. "So I'm running looking for more bears when I find them. So I'm getting ready to attack when boom," he said, jumping out of the tree so hard that the ground shook. I would have fallen if Edward didn't save me by putting his arm around my waist. "twenty bears came at me out of no where! Man, it was amazing the started to attack me, but of course nothing can stop the Wilderness Man! I took them bears down!"

"Oh my God, Emmett," Rosalie said, grabbing his arm still looking worried. All of us started at him in shock and he was about to open his mouth again when Alice interrupted.

"Save it, Emmett," Alice said, and we all turned to stare at her. She was standing like Rosalie had been a few minutes ago and was glaring at Emmett. "You did not get attacked by bears, a tiny squirrel attacked you!"

"It was not tiny; it was at lest five feet long and the thing had rabies!" He screamed at Alice, throwing his hands out to show the size and trying to argue. Edward and I were rolling on the ground laughing and Rosalie was smacking him for scaring her and laughing at the same time. All their laughs were so loud that they were echoing through the forest.

All I could picture in my head was a tiny squirrel jumping on him and biting him. It was so hard to believe that one squirrel could cause so much damage.

"You're a Wilderness Man alright." Edward said, between laughs.

"Can't you just picture it in your head," I said to Edward, trying to breathe.

"Yes, I can see it eating his hair," Edward said, between laughs again. I hadn't pictured that yet so that brought on a whole new round of laughs.

"It's like that raccoon from Elf," I said trailing off with more laughs.

"Yes," Edward screamed, laughing even harder if it was possible.

"We're fighting a war here!" I heard Jasper scream from somewhere and then I heard a big boom. I couldn't see anything from the tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

"Sorry, Jazz, you didn't have to rip a tree out of the ground." I heard Alice say, sounding like she was laughing with us. I heard Rosalie scream so that meant that the fight was back on.

"Be the squirrel, Edward," I said still laughing, as I felt him get up to go fight.

"Be the squirrel," Edward said, laughing hard again. I felt a gust of wind pass me so I figured he went to fight.

It took me five minutes to stop laughing and to be able to see. Every time I looked at Emmett I would start cracking up again. Rosalie had gotten a hold of Alice and was pulling her hair and Edward had Jasper pinned up against a tree that was supporting the fort.

"Aren't you going to join the fight?" I asked Emmett, he was sitting next to me was looking like a little kid who didn't get his way. He had is arms and legs crossed with a pouting look in his face. I would've thought he would be helping Rose instead of sitting by me. I started to laugh again when I looked and glared at me.

"Stop laughing at me! And no, it's not my fight," he said, going back to his pouting.

"The squirrel tired you out," I said, laughing as I sat down next to him. He gave me the evilest glare he could and growled at me, making me jump five feet in the air.

"Fine, sorry dropping it." I said, rolling my eyes. He still couldn't ruin my mood and I wanted to play nice.

"Well, I got to be a Confederate hostage this morning, pretty cool huh?"

He didn't answer becoming a statue next to me.

"How about we call a five minute truce and have some fun ending this fight?" I asked, holding my hand out with a hopeful expression.

"Ok," he said, excitedly grabbing my hand and shaking it a little too hard and too fast.

"Ouch!" I muttered, rubbing my arm when he let me hand go.

"So what's the plan chief?" he asked, bouncing up and down excitedly next to me.

"I don't know yet," I said, standing up. I could feel and evil grin on my face and Emmett smiled one to match. "Let's get out of earshot."

Emmett started smiling and evil laugh to go along with the smile as he got up and we walk behind the tree and into the forest.

……………………………….............................................

I'm going to put a page splitter here lol

Emmett and I were devious together! Together we came up with the best idea in only five minutes. This fight was going to end Cullen style as we called it. Alice would be horrified if she saw what I had done to my hair. Emmett and I agreed that I needed to look like him so that meant mud, twigs, and leaf. He wanted me to use blood but that I refused. I had completely messed up my hair and put two huge sticks in it so I looked like a dear. Emmett had to put sticks in his hair to because he said he felt left out. Emmett spattered me with mud everywhere else which was disgusting. It was a good thing Alice never left Edward wear the same thing twice because his clothes were ruined.

We were making our way back to camp now with me on Emmett's huge shoulders with his camera in my hands. He was stomping around so he made tons of noise. I had to duck several times to avoid branches and moss that came at me. When light hit we knew we were getting close and I could see the back of the tree I had been tied up to earlier. They must have heard us coming because everything was silent; and then I heard my favorite sound in the world, Edward's musical laugh. It was soon followed by Alice's wind chime laughing and Rosalie asking them what the hell they were laughing at.

"Now, Emmett," I screamed, as we were about to break through the trees. We both had to keep a serious face, which was going to be difficult for both of us.

"War, huh, yeah," Emmett said, singing the lyrics to War. We broke through the trees then and hit the war zone. Edward and Alice were hysterical already, Jasper was cussing and screaming over by his fort, and Rosalie was staring at us with sock on her face.

"Oh, my, god." Rosalie said, putting her hands over her face and giggling.

"War, what is it good for?" Emmett sang, as loud as he could as he stopped in front of them. I could hear his voice and their laughs echoing trough the forest.

"Absolutely nothing," I sang, as loud as I could blushing the whole time. Rosalie, Edward, and Alice were leaning on each other for support as they laughed, while Jasper just kept cussing and pacing.

"Uh-huh," we both said at the same time. I was surprised we were keeping strait faces but somehow we were.

"Camera," Edward laughed, holding his hand out for it. I through it to him while Emmett started singing again.

"War, huh, yeah, what is it good for?"

"Absolutely nothing," I sang, while Edward tried to stop laughing enough to take a picture.

"Uh-huh,"

"War, huh, yeah, what is it good for,"

"Absolutely nothing,"

"Say it again, y'all," We both sang still keeping strait faces somehow. Alice, Edward, and Rosalie managed to take some pictures well they laughed and Jasper was now yelling something about all the Confederate troops to fall in.

"War, huh, good god," All of us but Jasper sang at the same time. Emmett and I were the only ones not laughing as Emmett started to walk forward to the fort. "What it good for, absolutely nothing, listen to me."

"Ohhh, war, I despise," Emmett and I sang together, by this point my face was probably blood red but I kept singing. "Because it means destruction of innocent lives. War means tears, to thousands of mothers eyes, when their sons go to fight and lose their lives."

"I said, war, huh, good god, y'all, what is it good for," Emmett sang, as I held on for dear life while he jumped into the Confederates fort and stood in the door. Jasper jumped for Emmett's lag as he jumped but Alice got a hold of him somehow and was holding him down while she laughed. The pictures were going crazy as Emmett turned around in one of the doors so we could face everyone.

"Absolutely nothing," I sang, starting laugh a little when I looked down at everyone else on the forest floor laughing at us.

"Say it again," we both sang.

"War, whoa, lord, what is it good for,"

"Absolutely nothing,"

"Listen to me,"

"War, it ain't nothing, but a heartbreaker, war friend only to the under taker, Ooooh, war," Emmett and I sang, singing our ending. "It's an enemy to all mankind, the point of war blows my mind, war has caused unrest within the younger generation, induction then destruction, who wants to die, ahhm war-huh, good god y'all, what is it good for, absolutely nothing, war, huh!"

We finished our song with applause and laughing. Jasper was still trying to get away from Alice, but wasn't having any luck. Emmett helped me off his back and we gave each other a high five and then started bowing as our audience cheered and laughed.

"What in gods name do you think your all doing?" Esme voice yelled, Emmett and I froze half way threw bowing and exchanged scared glances. We slowly turned our heads to see Esme and Carlisle standing with the others looking livid.

"Well?" Esme asked, barley able to control her voice.

"We're taking down the Confederates fort and protesting war," Emmett said, standing rigged next to me. You could have heard a pin drop with how quiet it got. Carlisle looked like a vampire again and Esme was the maddest I had ever seen her. Jasper and Alice both look meagerly scared; Jasper was actually shaking, and Alice's face was blank as she tried to see what was going to happen. Rosalie was shielding herself with Edward; both of them were waiting for their reactions.

"Everyone to the house now! When Esme and I are done taking this down we will be joining you. You all have some explaining to do!" Carlisle hissed, glaring at us all.

We all didn't need to be told twice; Emmett picked me up and jumped from the fort and took off running with me still in his arms back to the house.