She hasn't said anything in more than two days. I've spent countless hours next to her bed, holding her hand in silence and praying that she'll utter a single syllable. Everyone has been by to see her. Her brothers held vigil over her for most of the morning, and Elizabeth and Emily took a two-hour shift while I took a nap in the waiting room and showered in the staff changing room.

Luke has been by to check on her several times, but he still hasn't been in to see her. He's afraid that he'll say the wrong thing or push her further inside herself. He hasn't said it, but we're both afraid of the same thing. We're afraid that she has inherited Laura's disorder and that we are slowly losing her to the darkness.

What are you doing?

"Dillon, you have a visitor out here," Patrick Drake said from the door way. His eyes looked tired as he scanned Lulu's chart. She was doing better, but he wasn't ready to discharge her yet.

"I'll be right back," I told Lulu, kissing her knuckle lightly before leaving her alone. She doesn't respond as she turns to look out the window at the rainy sky. I want to scream at her to say something, but I know that it won't do any good.

"Has she said anything yet?" Patrick asked as we headed down the empty corridor.

I shook my head. "She nodded at me this morning when I asked if she was thirsty, but that's about it. She hasn't been eating much either. Patrick, am I going to lose her?"

"I wish I could tell you no and know for sure, but I can't. I don't think she has the same illness as Laura, but I can't be certain. Just keep talking to her and hopefully you will be able to get through to her. In the mean time, there is someone in there who would like to see you," he said, pointing toward the private waiting room at the end of the hallway.

"Laura, what are you doing here? Does Luke know?" I asked worriedly as I embraced the maternal blonde figure before me.

What are you talking about?

She smiled warmly and shook her head. "No one knows but Lucky. He brought me here," she replied. "He told me what happened to Lulu. I need to see my daughter. I think I can get through to her."

"No one else has been able to," I retorted sadly. "Her entire family has tried, and my family has been by as well. I keep trying. I really thought that if anyone could bring her back it would be me."

"She needs her mother," Laura confided knowingly. "She needs me."

"Okay," I agreed cautiously. "Her room is the second one on the left on the other end of the hall, #214."

"Come with me," Laura ordered. I followed her obediently down the hall, not sure what else really to do. "Lulu, honey, it's me. It's your mother."

Just get it together, okay?

Lulu's eyes shifted to where we stood in the doorway. Her gaze was empty. "Did you hear that, Lu? Your mom came to visit."

"Mom," she whispered hoarsely, as if she was finally breaking out of the haze. "Mommy," she cried.

"It's okay, Lulu, I'm here now. Your mother is here," Laura coddled her only daughter. Smoothing her blonde hair tenderly, she murmured inaudibly.

"Mommy," she repeated, her voice weak and vulnerable. I had never seen her like this, so childlike and innocent. I wanted to comfort her, but I understood now that it wasn't me she needed. She truly needed her mother.

I'm doing the best that I can.

"I'll just leave you," I said quietly to no one in particular. Lulu looked up at me at that moment through her veil of tears. There was a look of recognition in her eyes and I could see her fighting to come to the surface. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly snapped it shut. "I love you," I mouthed before walking out the door.

In the hallway, I collapsed to the ground and started to sob silently. The tears came from somewhere deep in my core, inhibiting my entire being. I'm not sure how long they lasted, and it wasn't until a strong pair of arms wrapped around me that they even began to subside. "Dillon."

I looked up to see my mother huddling over me, concern shining in her eyes. I hugged her tightly, my tears quickly soaking the collar of her teal silk blouse. "She said something finally."

I'm starting to figure out why my dad always bails…I mean, I've always known but now I think I understand.

"She did?" my mother asked carefully, helping to my feet. "What did she say?"

"Laura came, and Lu recognized her," I answered. "I want to hold her, I want to promise her that everything is going to be okay. I want to take away everything that has ever hurt her. I want to give her our baby back. I want everything to be different."

"You can't change anything that has happened in the past, Dillon. All we have is now. You have to give her something to live for now."

"I want to be with her, Mom. More than anything, I want to spend my life with Lulu. I want to be her husband. I want us to have a family," I confided. "I'm afraid she'll never be able to see me that way because of this. I'm afraid that something will always be missing."

My mom looked at me distantly. "Something will be missing," she declared. "Losing a child…whatever the circumstances, it's not something you ever really get over. You move forward because that's what you have to do, but you always remember that loss. It never goes away."

"Mom, I need you," I mumbled. "I've never really told you that before, but I need your help. I can't get through this without you. I'm going to have to be strong for her, but I need someone who can be strong for me."

And everything that she loved and everything he loses when she's gone. I mean, even the Christmas angel. That's what he called her, Angel.

"I'm your mother, you have me," she reassured me. "The Quartermaines may not be perfect, but they love each other. The bond we share is like no other. You have an entire family to draw strength from."

"Excuse me," Laura said from behind us. "Someone wants to see you."

I didn't even stop to ask any questions before I took off running for her room. I paused outside the door and prayed that everything would be okay. Knocking softly on the door, I came in to find her sitting up on the bed. There was life in her eyes again. "Oh, Lulu," I murmured as I pulled the chair next to her bed. I reached for her hand and kissed her palm tenderly. "Can you talk to me?"

She nodded slowly, deliberately. "I have to do this one step at a time," she began. "My mother told me what happened to me, what's been happening to me. I'm sorry that I scared you."

"You're here now, that's all that matters."

"Dillon, I need to get help," she announced. "I talked to my mom and Patrick Drake. I'm going to start seeing someone right away."

"That's probably a good idea. I'll support you any way I can."

And it wasn't a nickname, like cowboy or gumdrop. It's real. She was an angel.

"I understand that this probably changes everything. Now that there's no baby, I don't expect you to keep any promises. I know that the baby made you think you had feelings for me. Maybe that's part of the reason I went inside myself. I was starting to lose everything, so why not lose myself?"

"I'm in love with you, Lu. I loved you before the baby, and I'll certainly love you after this. I plan on loving you for the rest of our lives."

"Really?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes. "Dillon, I love you, you know that, right? I'm sorry that I lost our baby. I'm sorry that I ever thought about killing it. I never meant for this to happen."

"You didn't do anything, Lulu."

"Yes, I did," she sobbed.

"Look at me," I demanded, taking her face firmly in my palm. "You did not do this. You didn't do anything wrong. I don't blame you, so you can't blame yourself."

And without her, he's incomplete.

"How do I do that? If I can't blame myself, then who do I blame, Dillon?"

"Blame me if you need someone to blame."

"It's not your fault."

"You're right. And it's not yours either."

"I…I wish I could feel that in my heart," she whimpered.

Taking her hand in mine, I pressed it to my heart. "If you can't feel it in your heart, feel it in mine. Feel it in my heart, Lulu."

My words brought on another wave of tears and sobs. I crawled on the bed next to her and held her shaking body tightly in my arms. Kissing her temple, I felt her relax slightly. I kissed her forehead, and she calmed more. Another kiss on the top of her head loosened her further. I kept kissing her and kissing her until the sobs had diminished and the tears dwindled. After a few more minutes, I could tell that she was drifting toward sleep. Just before she fell into a deep slumber, I heard her whisper, "I feel it, Dillon. I feel your heart."

This is a symbol of their love.