Thanks for the reviews, everyone!

May I direct the attention of the class to these links, given to me by herschism , which amply demonstrate why one should never give Jonathan Crane a fork.

http:// tinypic . com/m/9asiah/4

http:// tinypic . com/m/9asjl0/4

You know what I love most about this? How the other inmates are clearly like, "Shut up, Crane. It's pizza day."

Chapter Six: And Don't Forget The Joker


If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, it's - all - the same to me
The pleasure is to play, it makes no difference what you say


...


But that's the way I like it baby,
I don't wanna live forever,
And don't forget the joker

Motorhead, The Ace of Spades

Well, this wasn't exactly aces.

If he'd known rescuing the scrawny doctor would get him put in isolation so far from the other prisoners he couldn't even eavesdrop on the guards gossiping, he maybe wouldn't have bothered.

But he was a gambling man, and deciding to abort his escape attempt to find out exactly what those peculiar noises were had been worth it after all.

And he'd been mighty annoyed when he'd failed to kill Barry earlier that day. He wanted to complete the set.

The Doc was quite a find as well. The Joker hadn't been entirely sure what he expected when he broke into the cell, but the soft whimpers muffled by the door had led him to believe that an inmate was being beaten.

But, no. That ridiculous gorilla was in the process of trying to rape Gotham City's very own mad scientist.

The Joker guessed that Crane's choice to be a mad scientist rather than a man of action like himself probably had something to do with his small stature and slight weight. He didn't look like a man who could pack a punch, if you know what I mean?

But he was a vicious little thing, he'd give him that. Sure, most attempted rape victims would probably be pretty happy to watch their attacker suffer, or even die, but the way he'd gone after the orderlies who'd tried to restrain him had been pretty special.

He didn't think the Doc had noticed this, as he'd been very out of it, but he'd actually torn that guy's ear clean off.

Unless Jesus was around, he was damn sure that guy wasn't getting his ear back.

He was a pretty little thing, as well, the Doc.

Joker wasn't sure how much this interested him, but there was a possibility it could be useful. Particularly if there hadn't been many good photographs of him at his trial.

It could be good, after all, to have a partner with an IQ higher than the average Chihuahua, and wasn't half bad to look at. Could open some doors that horrific facial scaring and an abrasive personality might leave closed.

Hmm. Partner?

The Joker had no equals. Except the Batman. But Crane didn't have to know that.

He'd be a shiny new toy. A sorta-partner-in-crime.

The Joker would break him, eventually, the same way he broke all his toys, but he had a feeling with this one, it'd take time. Which made it infinitely better.

His cute-as-a-button psychiatrist said they were letting him out to play with the others soon. He couldn't wait.

She was a shiny new toy as well, Harleen. His Harley-girl, he called her. And the gorgeous Veronica Mars-lookalike let him. He'd even made her giggle once or twice.

He got the feeling that she would be the kind of toy that would be even more fun once she was broken. With Jonathan Crane, the fun would be in the breaking.

But he'd play with her later. He'd plan and plot and scheme, but Johnny-boy was where the fun was at, for now.

The Joker was not good at waiting patiently. He twitched and sang and his tongue flicked across his lips constantly.


Let me get at the good stuff! his mind cried, in vain.

But it wouldn't be long.

His hyena smile stretched across his face.


Do you want to come out to play, Johnny-boy?

Yeah, I used "The Ace of Spades". Yes, even I am ashamed.

"Veronica Mars" is a detective show starring the beautiful Kristen Bell, who I think would make a wonderful Harley. I mean... look at this picture and tell me I'm wrong:

http:// www. shewired. com/ images/ contentimages2009e/ GeneralShewired/

Update unlikely until at least Saturday, but I'll do my best. Next chapter we shall briefly drop in on Brucey. Brucey is a deeply unhappy man.

Thanks for reading!