I'm sorry this is so late! I've been so overloaded with school. On the bright side my holidays start in a few days. This chapter is really long and I would have made it into two, but I said it would be a two-shot, so I made it a two shot.

Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin you would definitely know!

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The lake was about fifteen minutes away and mummy's boy Jack had to go home. It was past his curfew after all. He trudged home while the others continued on their way. When they were almost at their destination Richard said slyly "Perhaps we should go skinny dipping," He grinned at Merlin who blushed and studied Arthur's face, wanting to see his reaction. In his drunken state Arthur thought it was a great idea. His face lit up as he said "Superb!" He'd always wanted to see how big Merlin's sword was and today was the perfect opportunity to find out. The only problems were Edmund and Richard who currently had his arm slung around Merlin's shoulders. Edmund coughed. "I um…have to go now…my…wife…will be expecting me," he said as he stared down at his bulging stomach. They went their separate ways. That solved the problem of Edmund, but not Richard.

The trio stepped into the clearing of the lake. It was a beautiful, clear night and the moon shone down on them. Its light reflected on Richard's suddenly bare chest."Like what you see?" he asked cheekily. Arthur looked at him and snorted. "I'd prefer to look at Gaius's arse!" At this Merlin laughed hysterically. Arthur grinned at Richard, looking incredibly proud of himself. "What the hell is a Gaius?" Richard asked, incredibly confused. Gaius was a well known and respected physician, but Arthur couldn't resist the joke. Richard was just a dimwit. "I am not!" Richard remarked.

Oops. Arthur has voiced his thoughts aloud. He really ought to stop doing that. One day Uther would throw him in the dungeon.

Richard's voice interrupted his thoughts "You're just jealous, because Merlin likes me more than you!"

Arthur's eyes narrowed. He puffed up his chest and took a step towards Richard who did the same in turn. They stared each other down. How dare a measly peasant speak to his prince like that? The two men were so close someone might have thought they were about to start kissing then and there.

"Ladies, please! There's plenty of Merlin to go around!" the raven haired sorcerer giggled. The peasant and prince stopped glaring at each other long enough to turn around and see a now very naked Merlin. "What?" Merlin asked, seeing the shocked look on Arthur's face. "I'm not complaining," Richard said, hurriedly pulling down his trousers and breeches. He and Merlin laughed like little girls and ran towards the lake. "Race you!" Merlin squealed and succeeded in tripping over twice.

Arthur laughed and he too took off his clothes. He grinned to himself. Next to where his clothes lay, having been dumped unceremoniously on the ground were Merlin's neatly folded clothes. Upon seeing Merlin's neckerchief he picked it up and tied it around his neck. He then proceeded to strut as best he could to the waters edge. Merlin and Richard looked up from where they had been splashing each other. Merlin's eyes instinctively zoned in on Arthur's impressive sword. "Like what you see?" Arthur mimicked. Merlin, feeling obliged to tell the truth answered "Yes, Sire." He smiled broadly, his face lighting up and the corners of his eyes crinkling. Richard muttered something about not being his type.

Arthur leisurely started walking into the water, but stopped abruptly, the water freezing his already cold feet. He shivered in the cool summer's breeze. "Come on then!" Richard yelled. So as not to be outdone Arthur dived into the shallow water, hitting his head on the bed of the lake. He stayed underwater for a minute, dazed from his stupid dive.

When he submerged he laid eyes upon Merlin and Richard who were cracking up with laughter. He rolled his eyes, took off Merlin's soaking neckerchief and tossed it at Richard's face.

Richard did not take lovingly to this and threw it onto the sane then screamed "I've had enough of you!" launching himself at Arthur. "Leave Merlin and me alone!" he said, pulling Arthur's hair.

"Merlin doesn't want any bloody thing to do with you! He's my manservant!" Arthur said, punching Richard hard in the jaw. Richard spat blood and kneed Arthur's stomach "Manservant? Who do you think you are? Just, because you share a name with the prince it doesn't mean you are him!"

"That's where you're wrong. I am Arthur fucking Pendragon. The Prince of Camelot...your Prince!" he said each word softly and deadly sounding, emphasising his point my giving Richard a slap after every sentence. When Richard's eyes had focused he looked up. Arthur looked every bit like the Prince. Realisation finally hit Richard as hard as one of Arthur's slaps. His head slumped in defeat and his eyes moved away from Arthur to rest on Merlin who was, despite himself laughing. There was nothing quite like watching two naked, alcohol and testosterone fuelled men fighting over you.

An almost sobered Richard dragged his heavy limbs out of the water and pulled his clothes onto his soaking wet body. He shuddered at the feeling. "Maybe I'll see you at the pub again," he met Arthur's eyes who nodded. Arthur had a feeling he'd be going to the Five Barrels again and maybe next time he and Richard would get along better. With that Richard turned and started off into the woods, not getting far before hiding behind some trees.

Merlin and Arthur were oblivious to this fact though. Arthur grinned "Now that we're alone we can spend our time doing something worthwhile."

Merlin raised an eyebrow "Like what?" He had an innocent look on his face which he usually wore whenever he'd done one of Arthur's many chores wrong. Arthur crawled over to Merlin and flashed him one of his sexiest smiled. "This," he said before wrapping an arm around Merlin's bare waist and pressing their mouths together. Both men were now sporting raging hard ons and Merlin moaned, deepening the kiss. Neither one noticed Richard stealthily taking their clothing.

Just as Arthur's hands began to stray south he heard a rustle in the tress. He turned to see his and Merlin's clothes gone. When he looked back at Merlin he was pouting "Our clothes are missing!" he remarked. Merlin looked at the shoreline, his eyes widening "Oh gods!"

"If we want to get back we better be quick. It's already getting bright out!" Arthur said, taking charge. Sure enough it was. The horizon was slowly getting a pink tinge to it. "Hellfire!" Merlin swore. He and Arthur shared a look. They were both still painfully hard, but the idea of running through Camelot with no clothes on wasn't a turn on (or at least at this particular moment). The pair raced out of the water with their hand covering their own crotch.

As it, so happens the same phoenix from the day before was flying through the forest at the time. Upon seeing the boys the poor bird had a heart attack. Arthur, ever watching his surroundings, noticed this. "Hurry, Merlin! Make a cage!" he ordered.

"How?" Merlin spluttered.

"Use your head Merlin!" Arthur said as he grabbed the phoenix and used it to shield his crotch. As many know the phoenix can die, but it doesn't stay dead. When this particular one woke up next to Arthur's sword it promptly had another heat attack. "Oh never mind Merlin. For the gods' sake, we're going into Camelot! Cover yourself up!"

"With what?

"We're in a forest…" Arthur said slowly.

Merlin's mouth popped open. "Oh," he picked up a leaf and grinned goofily. Arthur couldn't help, but smile back. Oh how he loved his manservant. "We better quicken our pace," he warned. They did just that with Merlin tripping over many times.

When they got to Camelot there were a few shop owners on the streets. Many of whom got a huge shock after seeing the boys running through the streets, Wolf whistles were let out and red faces looked away. What a start to the day!

The guards recognised Arthur and mercifully let him and his pale manservant in without more than an eye roll. The boys ran up the stairs, stopping outside Uther's bedchambers. Although the nights events had sobered them up a bit they were still drunk enough to think that dumping the phoenix in the King's chambers was a good idea.

The mistreated bird had died and come back to life many times that morning and squawked happily when it was placed next to the King's head. Uther opened one eye and then another. He turned his head to the phoenix next to him, took one look at his son and his manservant, groaned and rolled back over, think it was all a horribly strange dream. What a surprise he'd be getting later that morning when he saw the phoenix flying happily around his chambers and realised it had actually happened.

At the moment however Arthur was left with nothing to cover his crowned jewels. "I give up. We're almost at my chambers anyway"

"We, Sire?" Merlin shot Arthur a questioning look.

"Where else will we sleep?" Arthur asked, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. At the words we and sleep Merlin's sword twitched in interest. This wasn't the best thing when you were buck naked in a castle. However they continued on their way and finally reached Arthur's chambers.

Arthur collapsed face first onto his bed and fell asleep. Merlin's sword drooped in disappointment, but he was too tired to care. He fell on a heap on top of Arthur. Both slept through most of the morning.

When they woke they both dressed in Arthur's clothes on the account that they never mention that night again or at least until the next time they got incredibly drunk. This hopefully wouldn't be for a while.

When Arthur went on patrol he took a reluctant Merlin with him. They'd gone past Richard's fields and had seen two scarecrows dressed in clothes that looked remarkably like theirs. The boys had laughed awkwardly and smiled at the blurred memories of that night,

They definitely had to do that again.

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Finished! Hope you made it! I have read Harry Potter and know all my knowledge about phoenix's from it. I know they're supposed to get reborn from ashes, but hey. Merlin doesn't follow the Arthurian legends that closely, so neither do I have to follow mythology :) Review!!