Author's Note: Sorry! I have been totally consumed with writer's block for the past 15 days. I promise to try and get the next chapter out sooner. Thanks to the six people who reviewed the last chapter! I promise to get Satoshi out of the emo stage soon! And to answer all of you comments in one word here it is. Surprise. Thats it. It may mean nothing to you now...but it will come in eventually. Anyway, on to the chapter!

Oh wait...I haven't done this since the first chapter so in case there are any confusions...
Disclaimer: I do not own D.N.Angel.

Chapter Four

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The next morning Takeshi, once again, made breakfast. I could smell the aroma drifting into my room, invading my sleep. I yawned and turned onto my stomach, burying my nose in the pillow to escape the smell.

I was having the most wonderful dream. Daisuke and I were together and Krad didn't exist again. Though for some reason Dark would occasionally act like him. Calling me Satoshi-sama and trying to do everything for me.

"Satoahi, if you don't get up now I'll begin dressing you myself so we wont be late," Krad said from the door way.

I opened my eyes, glaring at him. He grinned and walked downstairs announcing how he woke me.

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I joined them outside and we began walking to the train station. Takeshi seemed to be infatuated with Krad, asking him question after question. Then the one question I wished not to be addressed was asked.

"Do you have a place to stay," he asked eagerly.

I groaned mentally.

"Actually, I don't," Krad said softly. "But I'm sure I can find a place by tonight."

"Why don't you just stay with us until you have enough time to really look for a place," he suggested.

I sighed and looked at the two staring at me almost expecting me to say no. "What'd dad say," I asked annoyed.

Takeshi smiled nervously, "he said it was up to you."

I rubbed my forehead and thought of all the things that could go wrong.

"I'll decide later," I mumbled as I saw the train pull in. Quickly getting on I saw the two say an awkward goodbye, then Krad joined me. He seemed a little depressed not to have a certain answer. Smirking I watched him continue to pout.

The next stop was Daisuke's. I silently watched him take a seat next to Dark. The other boy wasn't with him. Examining Daisuke I realized he had been crying. His eyes were red and he looked exhausted. I fought back the urge to go to him and entangled my hands together. Dark noticed my inner battle and whispered something to Daisuke.

His head shot up and his gaze fell on me. My heart tensed and I was frozen, like a mouse who just saw the snake that was hunting him. I stared back at him, taking in the full affect of his sad eyes. I'd only seen them like this once, when I had left him at the hospital. I never wanted to see them like that again and instantly felt myself get infuriated at whoever was the cause of it.

Without thinking I stood and walked to him. Sitting next to him I saw his eyes widen at my sudden movement. Wrapping my arms around him I pulled him closer to me.

"Please, don't cry anymore," I whispered in his ear.

"Satoshi," he said softly.

I felt him cautiously return the embrace.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. "Why were you crying, love," I asked softly, instantly regretting it when I felt him jerk away.

He glared at me, as my arms fell listlessly to my sides. "Satoshi," he said harshly, "we aren't together anymore. I appreciate you trying to comfort me but we are nothing more than friends if anything." He turned himself towards Dark, who looked at me sadly.

I bottled up the wave of pain that threatened to crash over me and put up a fake smile, thankful for all of the years I had practiced this emotionless mask. "How could I have forgotten, forgive me," I said weakly, getting to my feet. I kept my eyes on Krad as I walked back to him, taking a seat.

I clenched my jaw and turned my attention out the window. I felt Krad take hold of my hand, squeezing it to comfort me. I smiled weakly at him and waited to get off the horrid train.

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Walking to the class I shared with Daisuke was like walking to the private room in the pound where dogs didn't come back out of. I walked in and the first image to greet my already bruised emotions was Daisuke pressing the other boy against the wall as they kissed passionately. Daisuke's hips were pressed into the others and I realized that they thought they were alone. I was the only one invading their private display.

My hands balled into fists and I walked out, slamming the door behind me.

I didn't need that class, I already knew more about art history than the actual professor. I ran down the steps towards the train. I heard Krad running behind me. I could see the train wasn't there and fell to my knees on the platform.

Was Daisuke really so cruel? Would he really do that to hurt me? Tears started pouring from my eyes, down my cheeks. No, it was Daisuke. This was just God punishing me. Letting me know I'm not worth it.

"Satoshi," Krad said gently as he put his hand on my shoulder.

I felt so stupid. I should've known I never deserved someone like him. I felt myself fall apart, turning to cling to Krad, desperate for something to hold on to.

He wrapped his arms around me, whispering words of comfort.

I shook my head and said, "just get me home, please."

I felt him nod and pull my phone from my pocket. Then everything went black.

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I groaned lightly at the headache taking over my mind. Opening my eyes slowly I sighed at my ceiling. Maybe it had been a horrible nightmare.

"You're awake," Krad asked from the foot of my bed.

I nodded slowly and asked, "did that really happen?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," he said evenly. "you can do much better than that Niwa boy. Even if you insist on staying with the same gender I'm sure-"

"Krad," I said coldly, "you're the last person I need love advice from." My head was pounding, I just wanted to be alone again. "Once you feel what I feel for Daisuke, then I will accept you advice. Until that day comes I hope you will be more understanding, especially since you'll be staying here for a while."

"I'm -," Krad paused and I felt his confused gaze on me. "I can stay?"

"Yes, I don't mind."

"Really, you're the best," I heard someone say from the doorway.

I looked around and saw Takeshi jump onto me, grinning.

"Takeshi," I groaned.

"Sorry, sorry, I just got so happy!"

He got off me and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Thank you, I appreciate your help," Krad said with a smile. "You should rest more though." He stood and pulled on Takeshi's arm. Leading him outside the room, closing the door behind him.

I winced at the emotions that pushed at my mask as soon as the door was closed. Daisuke seemed to be completely taken with the other male. But I couldn't help think that he seemed familiar. Like I had seen him before, but never knew him.

What had gone wrong between us. What did I do, besides taking something I never deserved. Love was never something promised to me and yet I found it in Daisuke. I was never meant to be loved. My destiny was to be a tamer for Krad and then die. Plain and simple. Never a complication of love. I was just supposed to die alone, never knowing what true love was.

Then I met Daisuke, and everything changed. I felt like I had to protect him, even from myself. I ruined him in so many ways. He had scars on his body because of my father. Scars that he never would of gotten had he not met me. He was perfect. Kind, caring, loyal, smart, everything anyone could ever want in a partner. I'm grateful for even being allowed the short time I had with him.

I laughed cruelly at myself. I was thinking as if he were dead. No he was anything but dead. He was with another boy. If anything I was dead to him. I felt a pain shoot through me and clenched my jaw.

I closed my eyes and felt the tears threaten to fall again. I never realized all those stupid romance films were true. How it actually hurt the body, not just the mind, to loose someone like that. To see him with someone else, sharing intimate moments with someone other than you. I thought it was all dramatics left for Hollywood, but now I realize it was taken from real life.

I curled my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes, feeling myself begin to fall asleep. Picking the safety of dreams over real life. At least you could wake up from dreams. The only escape from life was death, and it was never an option to commit suicide. I'd never allow myself to do that to my family. Even if the knives in the kitchen seemed like dear old friends. Even if my wrists begged for them. Even if my blood itched to get out, I would never do that to the people who loved me so much.

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I woke up to Krad stroking my hair lightly. "Wake up little one. Your brother wants you to eat something. He's worried your falling back into that hole you were in before."

I moaned lightly, not wanting to leave the dream I was in.

"Dreams aren't real," Krad said softly.

I opened my eyes, pushing back the sadness that came from his words. Nodding I sat up and followed him to the kitchen.

"I made sushi," Takeshi exclaimed happily, not looking at me.

He turned around, still grinning and examined me. His grin fell and his eyes got worried. Did I really look that bad?

"What," I asked sitting at the table.

"N-Nothing, I'm sorry," he said, turning back to the food.

"You were crying, weren't you," I heard my father's voice say.

I looked at him sitting at the table, wondering why I didn't notice him before. "When did you get home?"

"A few minutes ago. Now answer my question," he said gently.

"I don't know I was sleeping."

"What did you dream about?"

"Why does it matter?"

"It might've been the cause of your tears."

"Daisuke," I whispered, not able to bring myself to lie to my dad.

He sighed sadly and nodded, needing no more explanation.

After eating I went up to my room. Closing the door behind me I examined myself in the mirror. I did look horrible. My hair was a skew and my eyes were red and puffy. Not only that but I had something they didn't notice.

There were long scratch marks at my wrists which were hidden by my long sleeves. I sighed as I saw a drop of blood escape on of the deeper scratches. Going to the bathroom I bandaged it, just like all those times before.

Maybe I should go into the medical career, after all I'm already well trained in repairing wounds. I smiled cynically as I finished wrapping my arms.

Walking back to my room I opened the door slowly, only to be greeted with the image of Dark, Krad, and Takeshi sitting on my bed chatting. I turned my gaze to the floor, not able to handle how much Dark resembled Daisuke.

Pulling slightly at my sleeves to cover my arms more. "What're you doing here?"

Dark got up and gracefully walked to me, grabbing my hand and pulling it to him. Without wasting time he pulled my sleeve up, revealing the bandages. "What is this," he asked angrily.

"I did it while I was sleeping," I answered truthfully.

He examined my eyes, trying to see if I was telling the truth. I looked at him, trying to remember that this was Dark.

"I wanted to talk to you about Daisuke."

"What's left to say," I said, turning my gaze to the floor. "He's moved on."

"Would you two leave us for a moment," he asked turning back to the others.

They nodded and left the room, closing the door behind them.

"You haven't moved on," he asked.

I smirked cruelly, "does it look like I've moved on?"

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes."

"Would you be willing to help me find out exactly why he is with that boy?"

"What do you mean? He's obviously infatuated with him."

"There's something about Koji, that boy he's seeing. I just don't trust him."

"Koji," I asked. Why did that name sound so familiar?

"So, will you help me figure this out or are you just going to keep being emo?"

I turned to him, clinging to the hope that Daisuke wasn't in love with this Koji boy. "Yes," I smiled, "I'll help you."