Sonny

It came as a surprise to me that Chad had no idea what had happened these past few days. I was somewhat happy about that, but I was disappointed. If he forgot everything we might not be able to figure out this whole mess. At the same time I was happy that he'd forgotten all of the happy moments we had. Maybe this would help us get back to the normal Sonny and Chad when it was all over with. I mean, we needed to because of the casts and everything.

Some part of me was saying that I didn't want that. I liked the new Chad. He was sweet. Sure, sometimes I felt like he was trying to impress me because of his ego, but I ignored that and thought of it as him liking me. If he liked me that was fine. I don't have to like him to want him to like me. Do I? No. At least, I didn't think so.

Okay, so that was starting to make my brain hurt. I stopped thinking about that and focused on the monitors next to me making weird beepy noises. My mom would be here any minute now. They let me change into my normal clothes that my mom had brought last night. I was so happy to be in them. It wasn't like they made me where those weird outfits that had no back. They gave me a slip on and a robe. I was thankful for that.

I was actually hoping that Chad would come to my room before we left. I was so tired of being alone and needed some human communication that I actually understood. Every time I talked to these doctors, I felt like someone was speaking alien to me. I had no idea what all these medical terms meant. When they would start talking to me, I would just nod and look like I understood. They would laugh at me and explain.

A nurse came into my room just then. She was skinny, and by skinny, I mean toothpick skinny. It was really scary that she was a nurse when she looked like she was bulimic. She had a pasted on smile on her face and she was holding a bag. Her blonde hair was a mess. It was pulled up in a bun, but there were strands sticking out everywhere. The bag had my name on it, so I was excited to see what was in it.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Munroe?" she asked.

"A lot better. My throat even feels better. Thank you. What's this?" I replied.

"Well, we have people who like to donate things to people who have accidents. A couple who does this every month have decided to donate to you this time. They thought it was very brave of you to go in after that boy." she explained.

That boy. That was the first time I'd heard anyone talk about Chad like that. I wished right then that he was in the room with me so I could smirk at him.

"Wow. I should drown more often." I joked. She didn't find this very funny and her lips went into a hard line. "Okay…so, what's in the bag?" I asked.

She handed it to me and said, "Why don't you check it out?"

I opened the bag and looked a multiple items. There was a sweet honeysuckle and orange peel body wash set, a thing of Coco Moco Coco lip gloss(that would go to Tawni), a pair of watermelon pajamas, and some cow slippers. It was like these people knew me.

"Will you tell them thank you for me?" I asked.

"We don't really know who they are. They're always anonymous." she replied.

Well, that was weird. But I didn't care; I really liked everything, except the lip gloss. The nurse left the room and I took off my shoes and put on the cow slippers. Just my size, and they were comfy. Yes, I definitely needed to drown more often.

Chad came into the room then. He didn't look like himself. He was all tense and didn't look like he got any sleep. He was wearing a red shirt, black jeans, black shoes, and a red plaid over-shirt. He actually looked really good in that red. Okay, I admit it, Chad Dylan Cooper really is a cute guy. If he had a personality to match…there might be something there. But he doesn't, and that's all that matters.

"Hey, Sonny." he mumbled. He sat in the chair next to my bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I…uh…I had a bad dream." he replied. I started laughing. Chad Dylan Cooper is upset because he had a bad dream. That was hilarious. Then I stopped. He was looking at me as if he couldn't believe I'd just done that.

"What?" I asked. I didn't like that look.

"You know, you had a bad dream the other night and I comforted you." He got up and went to the doorway. "I'm going to get something to eat. Let me know when your mom gets here." Then he left.

That was weird. I felt…well, hurt. I shouldn't have felt that way, but I did. He did have a point. I laughed at him for something that had happened to me not too long ago. But when he spoke to me like that, with such hatred in his voice, well…it broke my heart. Chad was jerk, but he never acted like that.

But, wait. How did he remember about the other night? Didn't he lose his memory? I hoped that maybe he was getting his memory back. I really didn't want to go around telling him what happened to us here and there. I would leave out all the sappy parts. I would especially leave out the part about us almost kissing. I did not want to go back there.

Another woman walked into the room. This one didn't have on a nurses outfit, but she said she was. She told me that my mom was at the nurse's station, signing me out. Two thoughts were running through my mind at that point. The first one was that I was happy I was finally getting out of there. The second one was that I had to go get Chad now, and I didn't know if I could face him after what had just happened.

I got up and went to the cafeteria. I noticed that when I walked my legs kind of felt like Jell-o. I assumed it was all that kicking I did in the pool. I knew that my mom wasn't going to ever leave me alone again. Either that, or she would never let me go to the pool again.

Chad was sitting at a table. He had a notebook in front of him and he was writing something in it. I thought about just whistling and seeing if he would look up. If he did, then I would motion for him to follow me. But, that would be ridiculous. I had to go talk to him. If not now, then later. Might as well do it now.

"Chad?" I asked, sitting down next to him. He didn't look up. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I shouldn't have laughed at your…situation."

He looked at me with eyes that weren't his. This wasn't my Chad. Well, not my Chad, but…well, you know where I'm getting at. "Sonny, just forget it. Is your mom here?"

"Uh…yeah. Come on." I said, and got up quickly. I had to get to the car. I was going to let him have shotgun, that way he wouldn't look back at me in the backseat. For some reason, I felt car sick. I felt like I was going to throw up, and I wanted to cry at the same time. I stopped and turned. Chad was inches away from my face.

"Sonny?" he asked.

"Mmm?" I didn't want to say anything. It might've given my emotions away. He was so close to me. I don't think Chad and I had ever been this close with me looking at the ground.

"Why'd you turn around?" he asked.

That's when I broke. After all these days of him being so nice and sweet, and now he was being…himself. The Chad that I knew before. I realized that I'd been wishing all these days that this was him. That it would always be him, because I liked it. I truly liked Chad Dylan Cooper for once. I'd expected a, "Are you okay?" or a, "What's wrong?" Not that.

I turned back around and started walking again. I could hear his footsteps behind me. "Why don't you just go home, Chad?" I asked.

"I plan on it." he replied.

Again, my stupid heart made me think he was going to say something like, "Why would I do that?" Something in me broke. It couldn't have been my heart, could it? My liver? My bladder? And with that thought I realized I could retreat to that bathroom and get myself together while he gets to the car. Then I would just have to endure the thirty minutes to drop him off and get home to break.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Go on to the car." I said and rushed off. Luckily, there was no one in the bathroom when I got in there. I stood at the sink and looked at my reflection. It was all over my face. The hurt stood out in every little pore of my skin. My eyes were filling up with water, and I knew I had to keep them in control.

I took a few deep breaths and that started to help. I closed my eyes and took three more breaths. That helped a lot. Since I wasn't wearing any makeup, I splashed some water on my face and dried it off with a paper towel. I looked a lot better than I did, and if I tried hard enough I could pull this off. I straightened my shoulders and walked tall as I came out of the bathroom.

Chad was already in the passenger's seat when I got to the car. I guess he told my mom he was going home because I didn't have to say anything. I knew she was going to talk to me when we got home, but she would understand if I didn't want to talk automatically. When Chad got out of the car he said goodbye and turned to walk to his house.

"Sonny, you get out there and tell him goodbye. This isn't like you." my mom said.

"Mom-"

"Go." she interrupted. That was my mom's serious voice. She meant what she was telling me. I undid my seatbelt and went outside. Chad was almost to his door.

"Chad." I said before he could walk.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"Goodbye." I said, and turned to leave, but my motioned for me to stay. I turned back and said, "So…when will I see you?"

He looked at the car. He knew why I was still talking. He looked at the ground and said, "I think I'm just gonna stay home for a little while."

My stomach was swirling, making me feel like I was going to throw up. "How long is a little while?"

"Sonny, just drop it. We both know that we hate each other, and that we won't be able to pull this off. Just go home. Write some sketches or something and have fun with your family." he said. He meant for it to sound sincere, but I could hear the harshness of his words. I felt small right then. Like I was little kid getting scolded.

"Bye, Chad." I coughed out. I ran back to the car and got in the passenger's seat. It smelled like him, and that broke something even more.

Mom didn't say anything on the way home. I think she saw that we were fighting. Was that really what we were doing? Were we fighting, or were we just…breaking apart? Not breaking up, that would be utterly ridiculous. Just taking a break from each other. Okay, I give up on trying to explain that. We weren't together. There.

When we got home I took my time going up the stairs. My mom, however, had to get up there to my aunt. She got out of the hospital last night. She was going to be fine, she had a broken ankle. They had to do surgery to fix it and that was why she was in for so long. I immediately went to my room. The kids kept yelling for me, but I couldn't handle them right now.

I laid down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. How was I ever going to do this by myself? Bailey had said that I couldn't do it by myself. She said I needed Chad. But he couldn't remember her saying that, and left me. He didn't know that he'd doomed me. He'd also lost all the happy times we had this past week.

In the restaurant, when he saved me from falling, I saw this twinkle in his eyes. It was beautiful. It was like I was viewing the real Chad Dylan Cooper. He'd looked so happy, holding me in his arms. But when I got up and went to that waiter, his eyes dulled. There was still that twinkle, but it wasn't as bright. He was happy when he was with me, and I was happy when I was with…well, the old him.

The night after we'd almost kissed, I was confused about why he'd gone home, but I was thinking about that moment. What would've happened if we did kiss? Would that mean that we were together? Why couldn't this just be simpler!?

Wait a second. Why couldn't it? Why can't I just go over there right now and tell him how I feel? But I knew the answer to that. Because I didn't really know how I felt. I liked Chad, but I only liked him when he was sweet. Why couldn't he leave his ego out of this?

I hadn't known it, but there were tears slipping out as I was thinking. I hugged one of my stuffed bears and let the tears fall. I didn't like the fact that I was crying over Chad, but I needed to do this. If I didn't, I would be on the verge of crying all the time. So, I cried and held my teddy until I eventually drifted off to sleep.

In my dream I was on a stage. It wasn't the So Random! stage. It was in a place I'd been before, but the lights were so bright that I couldn't see anything in the crowd. A loud sound came out of the speakers like someone had gotten the microphone too close to the speakers.

"Oh, sorry about that. Now, are you ready for Sonny Munroe!?" That came out of the speakers.

I looked back and forth to backstage. There was a person on each end. I tried to go to one end, but it was Chad that was there. I really didn't want to deal with him, but I couldn't get out there by myself. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing.

"Chad, let me through. I really need to get out of here." I said.

"No, Sonny. You can do this. I know you can. Just get out there and do what you do. I have your back." he said.

"Please, Chad. Stop with the act." I replied.

"There's no act here. Go on, Sonny." He winked at me. It make that broken part of me start to heal. I smiled and went back out, but the lights were scaring me again. I decided to try the other end. Chad was there, too.

"Chad? How'd you get there so fast?"

"What are you talking about, Munroe?" he asked.

"You were just…never mind. Let me through please." I replied.

He moved to the side. "Sure. Just give up, Sonny. You and I both know you couldn't do it."

For some reason those words made me want to go out there and do whatever it was I was supposed to do. "Oh, I don't think so." I took a firm step back. "I'm going to prove you wrong."

The band started playing just as I got the microphone. I recognized this song, but I didn't know where from. I started singing.

"Whoa-oh-oh-oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

How to chose who to be?

Well, let's see.

There's so many choices now.

Play guitar, be a movie star…

In my head a voice says,

'Why not try everything?

Why stop?

Reach for any dream!

I can rock!

Cause it's my life, and now's the time.

Who will I be?

It's up to me.

All the never ending possibilities, that I can see.

There's nothing that I can't do."

Singing this song really brought things into perspective for me. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to give up just because some three-named jerk-face said I should. I was going to finish what I started, and I was going to do it without Chad Dylan Cooper.

When the song was over, I went to the good Chad. The one that supported me.

"You were right. I could do it." I said. "The audience loved it, anyways."

"I told you. Now, where do you need to go next?" he asked.

"Um…I don't know. I haven't really thought about it." I answered.

"Why don't you go get some ice cream and think on it?" He winked and I knew what he was doing. He was telling me where I needed to go.

I woke up before I could even thank him. I looked at my watch. It was 3 in the afternoon. I still had two hours before the ice cream shop closed. My mom was in the kitchen when I came out of my room. She was making something, but I couldn't see from here.

"Hey, mom." I said.

"Well, look who's awake. How are you feeling, honey?" she asked.

"A lot better. I guess I just needed some sleep. Is it okay if I go for some ice cream?" I asked.

"Sonny…you just got out of the hospital. Are you sure?" she said.

"I'll be fine, mom. I promise. I'll take my phone just in case I fall into any giant puddles." I smiled at her. She fake laughed.

"I would say that you have to bring your niece and nephew, but they're asleep. Go on, but I want you back in an hour." she told me.

"Okay, mom. Thanks. Be back soon." I replied and left. I grabbed a jacket because it was sprinkling again. Weird weather for California. The ice cream shop was two blocks farther than the flower shop. I had my ipod in my jacket pocket so I started listening to it as I walked. I wondered what kind of person, or creature, I would meet next.

The walk took longer than I thought it would. It took about twenty minutes. I had forty minutes to get home which meant that I could only stay twenty minutes at the shop. I came in and found that there weren't any people in the shop. The front desk said, "Be back in fifteen minutes." I only had twenty! There was no way I was going to be able to talk to them right now.

I was about to leave when I heard voices from the back. Maybe they closed so that they could talk to me. I walked to the back and paused at the door. There was a curtain for a door, so I could hear them, and they couldn't see me.

"So, you are trying to get this information for your partner? Why isn't she with you?" someone asked.

"It's kind of a long story." a voice I recognized said.

"I bet it's the same thing that happened with Janine. It will fix itself." someone else said.

There was a long pause. "So, can I get the information so I can give it to…my partner?" the familiar voice said.

My brain really wasn't working. I knew this voice, but it was different somehow. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but my common sense was starting to kick in. My heart was starting to beat quicker. I wanted to rush in the door, but I was afraid.

"You don't need to. She's here." one of the other voices said.

I took that moment to step in. "Um…hi." I said. There was a couple sitting on a black leather couch, looking at me. I took in the room, decorated in orange. I looked at the two chairs sitting in front of them. Someone was in one of the chairs facing the opposite direction. I smiled a little when he turned around.

"Chad."