Part 11 – Nanny Search

Colby stared at his 'Must Do Before Birth' list and frowned. The baby's room was almost ready – Nena had somehow managed to make it cheerful without it being over-stimulating. After exhaustive research, the stroller and car seat were on order. They already had the baby monitor, bathtub, stocked medical chest, basic clothing in a variety of sizes, and a month's worth of diapers. They'd made decisions – like buying a co-sleeper so the baby could sleep with them in their room for as long as he or she wanted and that they'd have a baby shower after the baby was born. The paperwork for Colby's second-parent adoption was ready and waiting.

What remained were two large categories – Feeding and Childcare. Colby was trying very hard to make Charlie's glib request to 'hire a wet nurse' happen, but what made a good wet nurse didn't necessarily make for a good nanny. And Colby had the feeling that they were going to need a very special nanny indeed. Someone who could handle a newborn baby, two unique new dads and a strange extended family.

Colby rubbed his eyes. They shouldn't put off interviewing nannies much longer. Maybe Charlie would just have to settle for using a milk bank. Not that that would be cheap. Mary had already offered to nurse the baby for the first few days, to give the baby that all important colostrum for immunities.

Shaking himself, Colby opened a new page on his document and began to make a list of everything that they'd want in a nanny.

After Charlie and Colby had pared Colby's massive list of wants down to the 'musts' for a nanny, Colby registered at multiple online nanny services and started the search.

Anyone who didn't have newborn experience was out. Someone should know what they were doing. They didn't have the space to hire a live-in nanny, so it would have to be someone who already lived nearby or would be willing to move. He also eliminated anyone not interested in flexible hours. With their nanny, 'flexibility' would have to be paramount. The nanny wouldn't have to be there every night, except for perhaps that first week.

Colby felt a spasm of panic at the thought of that first week and grimly returned to his task.

Smoker? Out. No certifications or degrees? Out. Not willing to submit to an extensive background check? Out. Poor English? Out. With Charlie's language genes, the kid wouldn't need any more roadblocks. Though they'd really like someone who spoke a second language fluently. Charlie had gone on at great lengths about the cognitive advantages of learning a second language at a very early age, even if that language was later forgotten.

Colby also posted his family's profile and nanny requirements on the websites. He could imagine potentials crossing them off their lists – gay parents, wouldn't allow them to bring their own children, sounded demanding. He rented a post office box and set up a separate voicemail for the replies. He didn't want any gay-parent-haters knowing how to find them.

They set aside a Saturday for the interviews – at least for the first round of interviews. It might take a long time to find the right person.

Calls started coming in immediately. Colby was ruthless in his first impression eliminations. They were not settling on the nanny for their baby. The alternative was Colby going on extended leave from his job – since his paid less than Charlie's – but Colby would do that if he had to. Charlie had talked about taking time off, but had gone ahead with his next semester curriculum anyway. He might have liked the idea, but since with his salary, grants, and awards, he was the primary breadwinner …

Realizing the difficulty of the task, Colby wished they'd started earlier, but, as in the battlefield, you could only work with the time you had.

Even with his ruthlessness, Colby had accumulated a reasonable list of candidates who had passed the phone interview by the time the scheduled Saturday Interview Day came around. Colby, Charlie and Nena all took their laptops and set up at three different tables in the CalSci lunch room. All three of them would interview separately but Nena would get first shot. Not only would the nanny become her occasional babysitter, Colby and Charlie had a great deal of faith in Nena's ability to 'read' people. Colby had worried a little about this awkward interview process until he realized that this odd setup was just what a person would have to be able to deal with if that person wanted to be a nanny for them.

The first candidate arrived – a smiling young woman, and Colby greeted her while noting on his list that she'd been ten minutes late.

"The first person you'll talk with is Nena, our daughter," Colby explained to the woman. "While caring for her would not be a big part of your responsibilities, you would be her occasional babysitter."

The woman's smile turned a little uncertain and she clutched at the resume and references in her hand. Colby kept his face unchanged but made a mental note. Not used to older children, perhaps?

The woman went over and carefully sat next to Nena. Nena fixed her with a stern eye, probably imitating what she'd seen of interrogations, and began to ask her questions. Colby smiled to himself, watching his little girl act so grownup. In a way, she seemed more composed and adult than the woman she was interviewing.

After ten minutes – to the second – Nena sent the woman on to Charlie. By the time the woman returned to Colby, she was looking dazed and somewhat frightened. Colby took a moment to calm her down then asked his own questions. He thanked her for her time, took her resume and references, and said he'd be in touch. Mentally, he crossed her off the list. Just in time for the next candidate to arrive.

On it went through the day, with just a break for lunch. Nena then Charlie then Colby.

"Do you like to play games?"

"What is your opinion on the Montessori Method of teaching?"

"Are you uncomfortable with firearms?"

"Do you like to go for walks?"

"Do you follow the philosophy of Attachment Parenting?"

"A threatening stranger arrives at the front door. What do you do?"

"Do you like cats?"

"What do you consider the psychological role of the nanny in a child's development?"

"How do you go about disciplining a kid?"

"Will you let me watch all the TV I want?"

"Are you infant CPR certified?"

"Are you comfortable with flexible hours, including the occasional urgent call in the middle of the night to take care of the baby while we go into the office to work on a case?"

"Do you tell stories?"

"Have you had the chicken pox or black plague or any other sort of highly communicable disease that you may still be a carrier for?"

"Are you able to work as a member of a 'child-raising team' or do you feel that there needs to be one person in charge?"

"Do you like dogs?"

"Can you prepare a nutritionally-balanced meal?"

"Are you comfortable with celebrating Jewish holidays?"

"Do you like to paint or do art stuff?"

"Do you have a driver's license and what is your driving record?"

"Are you alright working in a family with multiple gay men?"

One by one, the group of pre-screened applicants went through the gauntlet, answered questions, and were – some more reluctantly than others – eliminated from possibility.

There was only one more name on Colby's list, and it was ten minutes after her appointment time, so Colby began to pack up.

"Excuse me, Mr. Granger?"

Colby looked up to see a non-descript woman in her early 50s.

She held out her hand. "Evelyn Boyd. I apologize for being late. I was looking in the wrong building."

Colby shook her hand, appreciating that she explained, but didn't seem rushed or overly apologetic. She handed him a resume and references.

"Okay, glad you found us," he said then repeated his opening that he'd been using all day. "The first person you'll talk with is Nena, our daughter. While caring for her would not be a big part of your responsibilities, you would be her occasional babysitter."

Evelyn nodded and turned to Nena. She held out her hand and Nena solemnly shook it.

"Hello, Nena," Evelyn said. "I'm Evelyn, though I prefer to go by Evie."

"Hi, I just go by Nena."

Evie smiled and immediately began talking to Nena as an adult, not a child. Nena responded with her own smile and an eagerness that Colby hadn't seen before. Colby looked down at the resume on his table and let Nena have her time.

The cafeteria was quiet this late and Colby could hear Nena and Evie as they talked, and then after that, Charlie.

Evie didn't just answer questions, she asked her own, such as what her other household responsibilities would be, what was Charlie's view on correct discipline, and what Nena's favorite games were. She wasn't the only applicant to ask questions, but most of them hadn't. She also seemed calm and unfazed under the barrage of odd questions, and not ashamed to answer 'I don't know' to some of them. She'd grown up in the area and spoke excellent Spanish.

Colby read through her resume as he listened, and also recalled what she'd said in their phone interview. Evie had been a maternity and pediatrics nurse for twenty years, including several years in neo-natal care, before being 'offered' early retirement. She'd become a nanny after that – wanting to continue to work with kids without returning to the politicized world of modern medicine. Her previous job had been with an Indian family that decided to move out of the country. They'd tried to talk her into going with them, but she preferred to stay in southern California. She was single, had always been, and was looking for an active, energetic family to become part of.

By the time that Evie returned to Colby, she was still smiling, perhaps even more so.

"Your husband has an extraordinary mind," she said, immediately endearing her to Colby, then cementing it with, "Easily gets side-tracked, though."

"Yeah," Colby grinned. "He's tends to live a lot in his head – which isn't a bad place if you're one of the top ten minds in the world – but occasionally has difficulty with the mundane aspects of life."

"Eating, sleeping, personal hygiene?"

Colby laughed. "Exactly." Then he got to his own questions.

After fifteen minutes of back-and-forth conversation, Colby thanked Evie, shook her hand and watched as she left the cafeteria. Nena, Charlie and Colby looked at each other then all three of them gave relieved smiles of agreement.

A pageful of checked references, a rented apartment, a written contract and an exhaustive background check later and they had their nanny. Colby checked his lists and could finally nod in satisfaction. They were as ready as they were going to be.

Now all they needed was a baby.