OK, so here's chapter 2. I hope you like it. :)

Emmett's POV

We were at the cinema. Going to watch this vampire film Rosalie had picked out. It was bound to be all burning in the sun and garlic nonsense.

"Eight tickets please." Alice asked the spotty, ginger teenage boy behind the counter.

"POPCORN!" I shouted. All the normal people ate popcorn at the cinema.

"Salted or sugared?" His voice was breaking.

"Both!"

"Both? OK, sure whatever."

Alice stared at me and whispered.

"We don't eat!"

"Yeah, but all the normal people eat when they go to the cinema! We can keep it as a souvenir!"

Alice looked confused. I shrugged and picked up the popcorn.

"When the film finishes, err, do you want to go out with me?" The teenager asked Rosalie.

Rosalie laughed and slapped him. So did I.

"Yeah, she's my wife. You villain, you!"(Yes, thanks Abi. For the inspiration of you villain!)

Alice got the tickets and we went to the screen. We all sat at the back and started watching the adverts. That's when I saw it. The Oreo biscuit advert.

"Oh, god no!" Carlisle whispered. Esme's head went in her hands.

When the doggy came on, I couldn't help it.

"GIVE HIM THE GOD DAMN OREO! LOOK AT HIS POOR LITTLE FACE!!!" I screamed.

"Emmett, shut up!" Rose said.

I sat back down. Everybody was looking at me. But I didn't care.

Bella started laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Alice whispered.

"Emmett's such a dumb ass!" Bella whispered back.

Edward, Bella, Alice and Jasper started laughing. Carlisle and Esme had moved away from us.

"Hey, I heard that!" I said to Bella. That made her laugh again.

"Shhh! The films starting!" Jasper shouted. Yeah he screamed it right into my ear. Gosh he's loud.

"God, Jasper! Do you have to be so loud!"

The first 5 minutes of the film was about humans and vampires killing each other. HA! As if vampires were that easy to kill! I started laughing. That made Edward start laughing, then Alice, then Jasper then soon we were all laughing. Even Carlisle and Esme, who were sat right at the front.

Everybody around us told us to shut up. I put my feet up on the back of this ginger guys chair. I think I put too much force into it, as the whole row of seats wobbled, then collapsed. That made everyone start laughing again.

The big, fat ginger lad stood up.

"YOU, ME, OUTSIDE!" That made us all start laughing again.

"OK, your on!"

We both stormed outside. He slapped me across my face. I took my jacket off and watched his face go blank as he looked at my figure. His hands went all clammy. I slapped him and he went flying across the car park! Rose dragged me away. I was laughing so hard that fake tears were running down my face. I had spit on my face you see.

"Stop embarrassing us! Once again Emmett, you have ruined another perfectly good day out!" She shouted at me. I hung my head in shame.

But by the time we got home, I was still angry about ginge. When we got to the door, I kicked it down and stormed inside. I had a tantrum and trashed the living room. The carpet was ripped and the coffee table smashed. The couch was ripped up. Esme screamed.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! YOU HAVE RUINED THE ROOM EMMETT!"

"I'm sorry Esme..."

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't cover it mister! You're all going to Home Depot. And if you don't go, I'll kick you out!"

Wow, kind words from Esme, our mother.

That made Edward start laughing.

"What are you laughing at Edward Cullen?" Edward stopped laughing and looked at the floor.

I was surprised to have heard nothing from Alice. I looked at her and her face was perfectly still, with no expression on it.

Alice's POV

Home depot? NEVER! I WON'T GO! THEY CAN'T MAKE ME!

Emmett's POV

I didn't care about going to home depot, I like looking at all the lamp shades. But I knew we were going to have to trick Alice into going.

"It's OK Alice, we shall go to the mall instead."

It was as if Edward had read my mind, oh wait. He did.

Alice smiled. I didn't think she would actually fall for it. HA!

"Yay!" She clapped her hands. We all got in our cars and drove to home depot. Alice had figured it all out and was sulking in the back of my jeep.

"NOOO! DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THAT HELL.... oooohhh, nice flowers!" She rushed off and went to smell the roses. Strange pixie vampire........

"What about this orange settee?" Rosalie asked.

"Sounds alright to me. I think Esme will like it."

"What about this purple coffee table?" Jasper asked and Rose nodded.

Bella went to pick the carpet. A nice green shaggy one. We went to pay for them. That's when I saw it. An orange lampshade with blue spots on. I had to get it! I could wear it as a hat. I went to get it. Alice stared at me.

"You're not getting that and adding it to your hat collection! It's disgusting!" She shouted.

"But I want it!"

"I wont let you have it!"

"Fine! But at least come with me and help me find a nicer one!"

"Fine! Come on then."

That was easy. I didn't think she'd fall for it. I picked up a bike lock from a shelf and skipped over to Alice.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"

I had locked her in a lock that even I wouldn't be able to get out off. I put a rag in her mouth and ran. Now I could by the lampshade/hat combo!

I ran to Jasper.

"Where's Alice?"

"She said I should get this because it's beautiful! She went to look at the flowers again."

Alice's POV

I know why he left me here. So he could buy that hat! Well, stupid plan! Edward must know, he can read minds! I hopped down the aisle and saw Jasper. He was looking for me. He saw me and rushed over to untie me.

"Why did me.... Never mind. I know how to get him back! Go to Rosalie and tell her that Emmett says she needs to get a boob job!"

What a brilliant idea! Emmett was wearing that lampshade hat... GRR!

I skipped over to Rose.

"Hey Rose, Emmett told me he thinks you need to get a boob job."

Roses' face went blank. She ran to her husband and slapped him.

"Hey! Whats that for?!"

Rose just flipped her hair, pulled her top down (as if to prove something,) and she walked off to Bella and Edward.

Emmett looked at Jasper and I and we smiled and waved. His eyes went small and narrow.

When we got home, Esme loved the furniture thank god! She said it had variety and was very bright! Lovely.....