Chapter 5

EDWARD'S POV

I looked in the mirror in the hall. My hair looked beautiful (as always) my complexion was clear and spot free, and yepp my skin was lovely and pale. I sighed. I'm so gorgeous. No wonder Bella fell for me :)

Alice walked up to the mirror and stood beside me.

"You know you could pass as a girl?"

I sighed and looked at myself again. I guess I do have that lovely feminine spark in my face.

"Maybe you should be a girl for a week and see how it suits you."

She smiled and walked off.

Huh. Yeah! Maybe I should.

I went to Alice's closet and picked a dress out. She won't mind.

"Alice!"

She ran to me and coughed.

"That really suits you Edward." She smiled.

"Would you do my hair and makeup?"

"Of course dear brother." She grinned and sat me down.

1 HOUR LATER

I looked in the mirror and was pleased with what I saw.

"Now go and show Bella!" Alice said. She was grinning away.

I strutted down the hall and into the living room. Emmett and Jasper both started laughing until they were in hysterics. I frowned at them. What were they laughing at?

Bella went whiter than normal and Esme choked.

"Edward, what have you done!" Bella was crying.

"It's fine Bella, I'm just trying this out. Alice helped me."

More laughing from Jasper and Emmett. Fools.

"Alice!" Bella sobbed.

The pixie ran in and sat on Jasper's knee. "What's wrong?"

"What do you think is wrong Alice?" Esme snapped.

"It suits him." Jasper laughed and Alice hit him. He shut up.

She stood up, grabbed Bella and dragged her out into the hall.

I sat down.

"Whoa! Pull your skirt down Edwina!" Emmett choked.

I pulled the dress down with dignity.

BELLA'S POV

"My husband is now my wife Alice. How can I calm down?!" I wailed. She looked upset.

"I'm trying to make him look foolish."

"Why?"

"Because he is annoying."

"I have to agree with you there."

"Anyway, just look happy and go back in there!" She pulled me back into the other room.

EDWARD'S POV

They both came in and Bella looked happy again.

"Are you OK, my love?" She cringed. I wonder why. :(

"Of course Edward." She whispered.

"Well, I'm going shopping, anyone coming?"

Everyone looked away.

"Whatever. Laters!"

ALICE'S POV

Now he was gone I could tell the others about the plan.

"Hey! Ssh! Listen." Everyone looked at me.

"I'm going to tell Bella to leave Eddie boy."

"But I'm not leaving him!"

"I knooow. It's part of the plan. Bella's going to tell Edward she's leaving him, then Jazz and Em will take him to a football game to clear his head. Then one of them cough cough Emmett, will do one of those proposal things that comes up on the big screen." I looked around and smiled.

"Why do I have to propose? Why can't Jasper do it?" Em asked.

"Because Jazz is shy." Jazz nodded and Emmett looked sad.

"What will happen after that?" Esme asked.

"Edward will still be dressed as a girl and be really embarrassed and everyone will call him a fool because I've told all the vamps in the other covens to watch the football game." I grinned, as did everyone else.

Edward walked into the room.

"The mall's shut."

Bella stood up. Good girl. I nodded at her encouragingly.

"Edward, can I talk to you?"

He nodded. "Sure thing, doll face." She sobbed again.

BELLA'S POV

I took him to the dining room.

"Hey. The thing is.... I don't know how to tell you this, I'm leaving you."

He slapped the table. "WHAT?" He looked devastated.

"I'm leaving you."

"OHMYGOD," sigh "WHY?"

"I guess I need someone more...... manly to support me." He nodded and sobbed.

"Well, if that's what you really want."

It would break my heart if I didn't know it was a lie. He stormed out of the room. I heard Jazz and Em lead him out of the house.

EMMETT'S POV

Jasper and I took Edward to the ball game. He/she was sobbing into his/her purse.

At half time, I got ready. I took the ring out and knelt on the floor. Jasper turned his laugh into a coughing fit. I glared at him.

Edwina looked down, shocked and confused. The announcement came onto the screen.

"Edwina, you mean the world to me. Will you marry me?"

"WHAT! NO! I'm not a woman, I'm a man. And my name's Edward, not Edwina. You batty crease!" He stormed off. Jazz and I high-fived and took off. Alice was going to be dead if we didn't get there before he did.

And what the hell is a batty crease? The moron.