Hey all my loyal readers. Raise your hand if you think Bella is totally going to get away with Rose's skirt. Now, raise your hand if you think Rose is going to fry Bella alive. We will see which half of the class is correct! Oh, and lets see if Edward can keep it down! Hahahahahaha!! Thanks to my BETA vjgm for the support!!

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer who?...Oh that Stephanie Meyer!... The one who owns all things Twilight, right?...No not me, unfortunatley...Yeah I know we all wish we did, but she does.

Disclaimer 2: Due to my previous chapter I would like to announce that I have no knowledge or involvement in the drug trafficing or usage at Fiorello LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts in New York City, nor do I know anybody who is involved in any illegal substance usage or dealment at LaGuardia. Okay bitches.

Chapter 4 Realizations

"It's a suprise."

"Cool."

"Are you anxious?"

"A little." I admitted. This was my first real date that my parents didn't have to force me to go on. One time I went to the movies with Jacob because they wouldn't shut up about me getting out of the house, but it was a complete disaster and I left by myself before the movie was over.

Edward turned on the radio to the oldies rock station. Sonny and Cher's "And the Beat Goes On" played softly in the background of our conversation. We did't drive far. He found a lucky parking spot across the street from the Park. I loved Central Park. Sometimes on Fridays Alice and I would hang out and study our Italian on one of those huge bolders that were randomly popping ot of the grass.

He opened the door for me and took my hand, as he helped me out of the car. He held on to my hand still, as we walked the down the block after retrieving a small wicker basket from the trunk. We walked in silence to a small spot with a white cast iron enclosing that was set with a small clothed table and place settings. A park worker in uniform opened the gate and let us into the private area.

"Edward this is so beautiful. How did you get us in here." He smiled at me.

"I have my ways." He led the way to the elevated platform were the table was and sat me down. He could see the joy shine right off my face, and I just couldn't believe he would go through all this trouble for me. He opened the basket and pulled out some sparkling water and poured me some.

"Bella tell me what you are thinking."

"This is really amazing of you. I've seen people," very rich people, "in this place all the time but never imagined I would get to be here ever."

"Well Bella you are very special."

"Am I?"

"Yes, I'm afraid you don't see the extent or your beauty, I..." He paused.

"I really want to impress you, all the time." Wow. This was to good to be true.

"Edward, you know, I love this but you really don't have to do anything to impress me, I think you are...well wonderfull." I took a sip of water, a little embarassed by my own honesty.

"Well since I think we are being honest, I have to say, you make me nervous, Bella."

" I make you nervous?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Well you see, I don't know. I feel that when I'm around you I don't know what to say but I have to say something so I just say what's on my mind and then I worry about if I start rambling about something and you... or if what I'm saying sounds stupid...I..."

"Like right now?"

"Yep."

"I think it's kinda cute."

"You...really?"

"Mmhm." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. He seamed to remember something and looked to the left and signaled a finger to somebody in the distance I couldn't see.

"I have something I want to show you."He walked around the table and held out his hand. I took it, and he led me down a path towards a swinging love seat on another platform that had more space. We sat on the love seat and he snaked his arm around me.

"I like it here. " I leaned into his side and he gently rested his hand on my shoulder. I immediatly thought back to those movies like Grease where the guy puts his arm around the girl and goes for the extra reach. But I knew Edward wasn't like that so I felt completely comfortable in his hold.

"I'm glad, there is one more suprise for you." And with that he whistled and a string quartet came onto the platform and began playing. It was amazing, completely the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I didn't deserve it. I looked up at him while they began to play "Summertime" and smiled. Over the week Alice told me about the things I couldn't remember but being with Edward was not one of them. He tentatively reached for my hand brushed his finger tips over my skin.

Edward Cullen was perfect and a dream in every way. I couldn't fathom why he would want me when there were probably girls melting all over him wherever he went. And to do all this was going out of his way to impress me, and it probably cost a lot of money. I looked up at him confused. Why? was all I could think. The strings stopped and moved off the stage and four men brought the white pearlesc piano from Edward's room infront of us. He got up from next to me and sat on the piano bench.

"I wrote a song for you."

What?!

"Play it." I said astonished. He was to good to be true. And so was his music. It was like pure sin the way his fingers danced over the keys and how the sound reverberated through the space. I wanted to crawl up into the song and stay there forever. Edward was amazing, completeley talented, beautiful, and for some reason he scared me beyond belief. A few onlookers stoppped to listen, and when he finished they broke into applause, but didn't seem to notice them, all he could do was look at me, waiting.

"It's beautiful." I didn't know if I was talking about him or the song.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Like it! I love it Edward! What is it called?"

"Bella's Lullaby, I-"

But I didn't let him finish, I was off my feet and I crashed my lips to his. I tangled my fingers into his hair as he pulled me onto his lap. I allowed him to access my mouth, swirling his tounge with mine. If he was amazing at playing the piano that was nothing compared to his kissing, each second I tasted him was pure bliss and exstasy. But as his lips brushed against mine I couldn't help to think that maybe this was to good to be true.

How many other girls had Edward been with? Did he do this for all of them? I could see my self falling farther and fartheer each second that passed our lips locked neither of us willing to let go. But what if one day some one better than me came along and Edward didn't want me. I couldn't deal with that. It was safer not to know what could be than getting my heart broken because I knew if Edward left me even now I would be devastated.

I stopped.

He looked at me, we were both out of breathe.

"I have to go." I wasn't smiling or angry or mad. It was the look of pure realization on my face that I could see reflected into his eyes. I pulled out of his grasp and began to walk away. I made it two steps down the path before he had caught up.

"Wait, Bella!" He ran out infront of me blocking my way.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Everything was wonderful and perfect, Edward. I just can't do this."

"Why. You don't want me. Is that it?"

"No it's the complete opposite, I want you to much."

I had no chance, he crushed me to his chest and began kissing me vigourously. I couldn't fight back. I pulled him to me tighter and threw my arms around his neck. I needed this so badly. I needed him. My desire for his touch was almost painful. But then I remembered what I realized earlier, that in the end this couldn't be. I pushed off of him with all my strength.

"Edward. I can't." I felt my eyes swell, and I tried to run but he caught me and pulled me back.

"Tell me is there somebody else Bella?"

"No there's no one. It's just that I'm scared." I wasn't making any sense.

"What are you scared of?" He had his arms around my waist pulling me coser to him. I couldn't resist him. I was weak.

"Falling."

"I'll catch you."

"What if I'm falling into you?" He didn't answer right away.

"I see." He said calmly. I completely ruined everything. And now he saw what I saw. He understood that he was to good for me and that he should leave me because I wasn't worth him. I didn't deserve him and now he understood.

I pulled my self away and began to run. The tears were rolling down my face. I just had to get away. What would I tell Alice? I made it back to the table grabbed my bag but before I could run to the gate I felt Edwards hand catch my arm.

"Bella, stop. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I want you, and no one else. Can't you see that. I wish you could remember the way I looked at you that day at my house. That night I dreamt of you and when I woke up I thought you were a dream. Seeing you in the morning was like magic."

"I'm sorry, I just cant have my heart broken, Edward, least of all from you." I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let go.

"I won't let you go."

"Please, Edward."

"No." He pulled me to him again. "Tell me the truth Bella,do you want me?" I began to cry again.

"Yes" He whipped the tears from my face. "I want you Edward."

"I couldn't hurt you Bella ever, I wont. I've never felt this way about anyone. So please for me, just stay."

I tried to say somrthing but no words would come out.

"Shh, don't say anything. Just let me hold you."

I didn't speak. I just let him hold me close as he hummed my lullaby into my ear. I could have fallen aslleep in his arms. I just knew that if was going to be like this with Edward for however long, there would be no escaping falling in love with him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

EPOV

I dropped Bella off at her house that night. Before I let her go up the stairs to her apartment I kissed her softly on her lips and told her I would call her tomorrow. She smiled at me and left. She was like air, I needed her to breathe, to live. everytime she pulled away from me my world was set on fire. I just kept telling myself that I couldn't let her go. I just wouldn't let her leave me. The fact that she thought that I would hurt her or that I was to good for her was absolutely ludacris. She was both beautiful in body and in mind, and that was so rare I would never let her go.

It was true that I dreamt of her. Every night. And every morning I would wake up and think it was all a dream, that she was some dark angel sent to torture me into a lustfull insanity. I thought of little else but her over the five days we were apart, and even my family could tell that I had changed. I couldn't eat, and I had little interest in Emmett and Jasper's games to the point were they thought of taking me to the doctor. It was like complete suffocation being away from her and until I saw her again I would be in a lonely dark space in time that only she could pull me out of.

When I realized that she might feel the same way, I was going to take advantage of that. When she held me and kissed me back, it gave me hope that I could have her and that she wanted me one percent of how much I wanted her. Which was completely enough.

The next day Alice and Bella were doing service for school and they wouldn't get out until 3:00 on a Saturday, which I thought was a bit ridiculous. So as soon as they were let out I had to call her, even though I was in the car with Emmett.

"Emmett let me borrow your phone, for a second I forgot mine."

"Why, just use the car phone."

"I'm calling Bella."

"Dude, you gonna call her already?" he said reaching into his pocket," Don't you know you there is at least 18 hours of normal downtime before you call a chick, and if you miss the 24 hour mark just forget it. Theese are the rules of dating, man she's gonna think your mad desperate."

"Shut up Emmett." I dialed.

Ring...Ring...Ring...

"Hello?"

"Hi Bella it's Edward." I softened my voice after talking to Emmett.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm great. What are you doing today?"

" Alice and I are finished here at school, and we were thinking of meeting Jasper and Rosalie at the Lowes to see a movie, I think we'll see 'Eagle Eye'." She giggled.

"Alright we'll meet you there in ten minuets."

"Cool. I can't wait."

Neither can I.

"Oh, and Bella," I hushed my voice, so Emmett couldn't hear me, "save this number for prank phone calls, it's Emmett's phone."

She giggled again. "Will do, goodbye."

"Bye."

Click.

"Hey what was the last part about? Are you guys already whispering dirty things to each other." emmett said raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, please. Go down this street we are meeting them at the Lowes. Jasper and Rose are waiting also."

"Oh yeah! Great idea Edward, movie make out time!"

Actually Emmett its you who just gave me the idea.

BPOV

Click.

"Edward, and Emmett are going to meet us there."

"Oh, goody!" she pulled out of her parking spot.

"Yeah, I'm actually relieved, I wasn't looking foward to being paired with Rose while you and Jasper we're inevitably gong to run off." Actually I was bubbling with anticipation to see Edward again, now that we knew how we felt about eachother.

"Oh, please, I would never leave you alone in the lionesses den, by yourself."

"Do you think she suspects anything about her skirt?"

"Oh, thanks for reminding me, I forgot to put it in her locker this morning when you gave it to me."

"Oh crap. We gotta do it first thing Monday morning."

"Good idea...oooh a parking spot." She pulled in, and turned off the engine. we both got out and alked up the block.

"What's with your family and finding spots, Edward found one in Columbus Circle for Christs sake. Isn't that supposed to be impossible?"

"BELLA! I totally forgot about your date with Edward yesterday! How did it go?"

"Hahaha I'm so suprised at you Alice! You're usually bursting with questions the next day for these kinds of things. Then again, what did you and Jasper do last night to make you forget?" She blushed, pink circles coming around her cheeks.

"Never mind that, now spill!"

"It was a mix of a complete catastrophe but overall relieving."

"Wait, I don't get it explain."

"Have you seen Edward at all today, or last night."

"Well not last night, " she blushed again, "and this morning I left before he was awake. Just tell me I'm gonna die if you dont."

"Okay. okay, so this is what happe-" I stopped short. I couldn't make any words come out for I was lost in a sea of lustfull insanity just at the sight of him standing before me. Withought noticing we had made in to the marque crowded with people. As if I had called him with my mind, all six foot two inches of him turned to take me in. Alice didn't see what I was staring at and began to wave her hand infront of my face.

"Earth to Bella...Bella?"

"Oh theres Jasper." She ran off with out a second thought.

Edward walked over to me now, standing by myself and held the back of my head while kissing me softly on the lips as he did last night before walking up to my apartment. I couldn't figure out how I ever thought that I didn't want this.

Lustfull insanity! Lustfull insanity! Lustfull insanity! I am so ©ing that! I hope you like this longer chapter, and I thought a little emotional intensity should spice things up for their relationship. Next chapter will be full of suprises and just because Bella gets away with fashion choices in this chapter doesn't mean she will in the next!! Review!