Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Happy Easter everyone…as a gift to you, you get this chapter a bit early. Teasers for the next chapter are up on my blog! Thanks to AgoodWITCH for her ever vigilant beta skills!


Back Home

The next week after having Gabriella was pure torture. The rules were so strict. I hated only being able to have visitors for one hour a day and only seen my sweet baby girl for feedings. The five days I was trapped in that ward without my loved ones and having my daughter yanked out of my arms the second she was finished eating, not to see her again until next feeding time was almost more than I could bear.

The second Carlisle came in to tell me I was being released I literally cheered aloud, earning disgruntled murmurs from the ladies around me. They were already annoyed because I kept having nightmares every night of Edward in danger, waking everyone with my high pitched screams. I felt horrible for disturbing them, but it wasn't as if I had any control over my dreams, and I was certain that if they were having those same nightmares about their husbands' they would react the very same way. Night after night I would pray over and over that they were just dreams and not something more, holding onto the hope that it was simply a psychological manifestation of the trauma of birth and his missing it all. I had to hold onto that hope, because anything less would drive me absolutely insane. I had to believe the best and pray it was so.

When Carlisle told me the good news, I literally begged him to make it as soon as possible. All I wanted to do was get back to my home, surrounded by the artifacts of my husband's life, and begin getting to know my beautiful daughter, who looked so very much like her father. Carlisle chuckled, promising to do his best while Esme came in shortly after, beginning to pack my few belongings in anticipation of my departure. She was just as excited as I was to get to spend some time getting to know our little Cherie better.

Four hours after Carlisle shared the news, Gabriella was brought to my bed area where Esme and I painstakingly changed her into a sweet little dress with a white sweater over it that Esme had knitted to protect her from the cold January weather. Once she was dressed with the sweet little white knit cap atop her head, we swaddled her in a thick fleece blanket. I sat in the wheelchair as ordered before a beaming Grandma Esme handed her over to me.

I stared down at her with an unflappable smile as I was rolled through the corridors. I pushed the edges of the blankets back to get a better look at her tiny face, her cheeks rosy, probably from being too warm thanks to the overabundance of blankets that was a bit much for the indoors, but would be required once we exited the building. I brushed a finger softly across the perfect porcelain skin of her cheek, colored lightly with the pink hue, and sighed. She was so perfect, and I found it hard to believe that she was truly mine.

Once we reached the street level, I quickly wrapped her more tightly in the blanket, bringing her to my shoulder as I covered her head and face to protect her from the blistering winds. Esme tried to take her, but I knew that would expose her to the cold, so I focused, standing on my own with my baby clutched tightly to my chest before sliding expediently into the back seat of our waiting car and scooting across to allow Esme to join me in the back seat.

The second the doors were closed, I pulled Gabriella away to make sure she was okay. I smiled as I found myself met with her startling blue eyes, opened wide. I was almost certain that I could already see touches of green coming through, but it was far too early to know for sure. A girl could hope though. I didn't notice anything the entire car ride to the house, instead tuning all else out in order to stare into my daughter's beautiful eyes, cooing at her, and savoring the bonding experience.

When we arrived at the house, I bundled her tightly to me again before sliding out of the car and rushing toward the steps, being careful to watch for any ice that could make me fall and potentially injure us both. Thankfully, I made it inside with no traumatic events to a house full of excited faces waiting to see us.

Due to the strict rules about family only, only Carlisle, Esme, Rose, and Alice could see me, and even then they had lied and claimed to be my sisters in order to get through the doors. Well, it wasn't really a total lie. If I were to ever have sisters, then they would be it, but I'm not sure that the hospital would see it that way if they knew the truth.

Sue was the first to hold Gabriella once we got home. She was so excited. It was almost as if she had another grandmother, just as Sue had been like another mother to me. Marcus was next and then a few of the boys who had been around the past couple of months on guard duty. It was funny to watch them hold her tensely; worried to move in case they might break her.

Soon Gabriella began to fuss, and I smiled recognizing it already as her hungry cry. Esme led the way, carrying her up the stairs as I slowly and carefully followed to the nursery. There Esme already had everything set up, allowing me to settle into the rocking chair that faced out the nursery window which overlooked Lake Shore Drive and Lake Michigan beyond. She settled Gabriella in my arms, asking if I needed anything before leaving me alone to bond with my daughter.

She eagerly latched on, suckling intently as I stared down into her light eyes with a contented sigh. The only thing that could possibly make all of this more perfect would be for Edward to be here with us. After she was fed and burped, I carried her to the changing table where I changed her cloth diaper before changing her out of the frilly dress she had worn home into a soft white sleeping gown with a tiny bow at the neckline. I folded the ends of the sleeves over her tiny hands to keep her from scratching as she had done a few times in the hospital before wrapping her back in the swaddling blanket and moving back to the chair.

I settled back in and rested her on my chest as I rocked slowly, humming a lullaby with my eyes closed. The feel of her weight and heat against me felt so perfect and relaxing. Her breathing evened out soon as her weight changed ever so slightly against me and I smiled knowing she had fallen asleep listening to my voice and my heart.

I wanted to sit there all day with her, just enjoying the feel of her in my arms, but I could feel the exhaustion catching up with me again. If I stayed there, I could easily fall asleep which could be dangerous for the baby. Reluctantly, I carefully laid her down in her white crib, watching her until she stopped shifting and fell back into a deep sleep before creeping out of the room and down the stairs.

Most of the guests had left, understanding that we were tired and both needed to rest. I hugged everyone before climbing back up the stairs to climb back into our bed for the first time in nearly a week. I rolled on my side and immediately drifted from the world around me.

It didn't seem to take very long at all before I felt the bed dip behind me and Edward curled up with me.

"I missed you," he sighed reaching around me to massage the baby, only to jump up when my large distended stomach had mostly disappeared, leaving only a flabby lump behind instead. I turned toward him with a smile as he blinked at me with surprised eyes.

"Did? Did you have the baby?"

I smiled and nodded as he ran his hand through his hair, looking distressed. "I missed it. I missed it all. What was it? Was it a boy? Was it a girl?"

I chuckled. "Yes, it did have to be one of those, didn't it?"

He glared at me playfully as I chuckled. "We had a beautiful baby girl that I named Gabriella Cherie Cullen, just as we agreed. Esme and I have written several letters to you this week and Esme even managed to sneak a few pictures that will come soon as well. She looks so much like you, same color hair and I think when they change, her eyes will be green like yours as well."

He blinked at me slowly, moisture pooling in his eyes as a slow smile crept across his face. We smiled at each other for a long while before I remembered my nightmares. I sucked in a deep breath as I felt my brows furrow involuntarily. Edward's eyes clouded to match mine as he cocked his head.

"What's wrong, love?"

I sucked in a deep breath. "I've been having horrible dreams about you, Edward. Awful, terrifying dreams! I hate that you're flying into Germany now. I know it's necessary, but I'm so scared. I keep dreaming you get shot down in German airspace and get taken captive. I dream these horrific dreams of dirty POW camps where you are tortured for information and hurt repeatedly. It's unbearable! And the worst part is, I don't know if it's just a dream or if it's really happening. I want so much to believe that this is real and that isn't, but there's no way to know!"

I began to sob as he pulled me against his chest, shushing me quietly as he stroked my hair in long gentle trails. "It's okay, my love. Please don't cry. I'm okay. I'm here. Can you feel me? Trust this. I'm here with you now and I'm okay. Don't let these dreams make it harder on you. Believe in the best and everything will be fine."

I took slow shuddering breaths into his neck, savoring the smells that were so decidedly Edward. It all seemed so real. I so very much wanted this to be the reality. I wanted him safe on the carrier, in his bunk, dreaming of me as I dreamed of him, but as real as this all felt, the other felt real too. I had no way of knowing for sure, but he was right, I had to do my best to stay positive.

We finally relaxed back on the bed as we curled together, chatting quietly until the sounds of the real world in Chicago pulled me hastily from his side.

I sat up quickly, covering my face with my hands as I tried to pull myself together, the moisture from my tears wetting my palms and fingers. I could hear the tiny cries of my sweet baby girl through the wall that separated her room from mine. I rubbed my hands roughly up and down my face before scooting to the side of the bed and tossing my legs over.

I slid a robe over the sleeping gown I had changed into before climbing into bed. I walked quickly to the side of my daughter, her perfect cries reminding me that no matter what else was going on in my life, she was the one thing that was most definitely real and needed every bit of me now. I didn't have time to agonize over what was real and what was not in my dream world, she deserved better than to have my attentions divided by what could possibly be nothing but fiction derived from my own mind. The only way to know anything was to do my best to wait patiently for each and every precious letter from my husband and hope against hope that the Western Union man doesn't come to my door bearing bad news.