Tony shot up from his bed and stood next to her, clearly shocked at what he was hearing.

"What?" the pain in his voice was evident.

"I. Was. Raped" Ziva said slowly. The tears pouring down freely, Tony held her face in his hands before embracing her, she didn't return the embrace or fight it.

"You never said anything, Ziva" Tony said into her hair. He pulled back to look at her "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did not want to be seen as…vulnerable in your eyes" she stated looking into his eyes.

"Everyone has a bit of vulnerability in them Ziva, you…me…hell; even Gibbs. Vulnerability does NOT make you weak"

"Now you understand why I'm so afraid to have this baby? I do not want to fall in love with an unborn child…only for it to lose its life when it is born" Ziva said as she moved away from him and sat on the bed.

"I'm sorry" Tony said taking a seat next to Ziva. "I didn't mean…"

"It is okay, you did not know…I cannot let you live in false hope Tony" Ziva said taking his hands in hers, his eyes locked onto hers.

"I'm not…I've got you…and the baby"

"Tony…"

"No Ziva…you are a strong woman…and the baby will also be strong." She moved into his embrace, he felt the wetness of his shirt and she cried, and tears pricked his eyes too. It wasn't fair that she was going through all this pain; it was all his fault to begin with he thought, he was the reason she ended she ended up staying in Israel in the first place. The only way to make it right was to be with her the whole way, no matter what it took. "I'm going to call the OB/GYN and move to an earlier date." Tony felt Ziva nod; he slowly moved her to a laying position and spread the sheet over her, before he made his way into the living room to make the call.

Tony sat on the couch contemplating his life over the past year. 11 months ago, Tony was trying to mend his relationship with Ziva, and he got more than he bargained for; a long term relationship. He wasn't complaining, besides he had been in love with her before the 'never-to-mention-again' period of time. Now she had moved in with him, and was about to start a family. When did he get so lucky? He thought dryly.

Now he was sitting on the couch blaming himself for the current status of Ziva. She had been tortured and raped, and it was entirely his fault. If he hadn't shot Rivkin, she wouldn't needed to go to back to Israel, which meant that she didn't have to take Rivkin's mission and it also meant that she was not his. His train of thoughts was interrupted by the shuffling of feet behind him; he turned around to see that Ziva had woken up. She made her way to the couch and snuggled against him.

"How long have I been asleep?" Ziva asked her eyes closed. She felt Tony kiss her forehead.

"I think about…" he glanced at the clock that hung above the TV; it showed 19:47 "two and half hours"

"Hmmm…you did not wake me?"

"I thought you could use some sleep. I called the OB/GYN and spoke to Dr. Harlow…told him about…we have an appointment next week." She smiled and pecked his chest, he smiled at the gesture. Who would've thought Ziva David to be the 'affectionate' one? He saw her hand travel to her lower abdomen. "What do you think it is?"

"I think it is a baby…but I do not know about you" Tony laughed, and she looked up at him and smiled.

"What I meant was…"

"I know what you meant" Ziva said pinching his toned stomach. "Boy or girl, I will be happy…as long as it is your baby. If the baby comes out with blonde hair, I will not have an explanation for that" Ziva said, playing with his shirt button. Tony laughed.

"Believe it or not, I had blonde hair when I was younger" Tony said.

"I prefer you the way you are…brings out your eyes" Ziva said casually. Tony smiled.

"I'm sorry Ziva" Tony said. Ziva sat up and looked at him.

"What are you sorry for?" Ziva asked confused, Tony looked at her and then stared out the window.

"If I hadn't killed Rivkin…you wouldn't ha…" he didn't finish his sentence as Ziva's hand clamped his mouth shut.

"Shut up Tony. If you are going to sit here and blame your self, please do not hesitate. But let me tell you one thing…If you had not killed him, I more likely to be six feet below than be sitting here talking about the colour of our baby's hair. He would have used me and then disposed off me" she said as she moved her hand away. Tony stared at her. "Is that your response…just staring at me" she didn't let Tony respond as she walked into the kitchen, and spoke out to him "Really…I do not understand you…Tony…you ar…" she was about to continue when she found that her lips were suddenly busy. Tony had followed her into the kitchen, and stood behind her as she drank her water and had managed to surprise her with a kiss. "…you are unbelievable."

"But you still love me" he said winking at her. "I would get to that bastard before he gets to you" he said referring to her statement.

"Yes…and then you will sit around and blame yourself when something happens to me" Ziva said pushing past him, and walking into the guest room. Tony followed suit.

"No more blaming myself I promise…erm…Ziva, we hardly come in here…why are we here?" She just smirked and winked at him as she got to work.

Sorry for the late update…no internet at home, because I just moved…I have to update in college….

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