Disclaimer: Characters in this story are copyrights of Square Enix. They are by no means mine. Only the storyline belongs to me. If by any chance I have used any ideas similar to those of existing authors, please inform me so that I may change the details. If there is no notice, I will take it that usage of the idea is permitted. Thank you.
Legend
"…" conversation
'…' thoughts
break
Second Chances
Chapter Eleven: Trust
It was with a mix of anxiousness and open admiration as Vincent, Tifa and the others watched Cloud take the first lunge. Sephiroth sidestepped his attack with ease. Cloud tried again by swinging his sword horizontally. Again, Sephiroth simply stepped back. It was the same for the next few attacks.
His unwillingness to fight back seemed to mock the blond, as though indicating to him that he was not worth the need to raise arms against him. Incensed, Cloud's strokes grew more furious. Sephiroth carefully parried and avoided his attacks, all the while his emerald eyes never leaving Cloud's face. Everyone could only watch in rapture. There had always been a beauty in the way those two fought; Cloud with his agile, sharp movements and Sephiroth with an effortless grace which only he could possess. Even Yazoo and Loz were pulled away from Kadaj's sleeping side as they too, made their way out to witness the battle between Cloud and the somehow familiar silver-haired man.
Vincent clenched his fists, battling the urge to step in and stop the two. Sephiroth had said to leave things to him, and he should trust the former general. However, he knew Cloud's strength was something one could not make light of, and knew also, deep inside that Sephiroth was not planning to retaliate. Of course, he was sure that Sephiroth will not allow himself to be hurt, but avoiding and defending continuously would only guarantee a lost war.
In truth, no one could stop the fight between the two. It was not so much as their capabilities as their resolve to settle things between them. This was no longer something they could participate in, something entirely between Cloud and Sephiroth. There was no telling what could happen. The possibility of fatalities was very real; one of them could lose his life in this battle. Yet, every action they had taken now was upon conscious choice to reach a purpose, one that was only known to them.
As though to mark the graveness of the situation, the dark clouds hovering above them groaned, shuddered and at last, broke to unleash the full weight of their contents upon the land below them. However, not even the rain could halt the two fighters; the merciless cold could not turn the spectators away. In the blur of rain, only the shadows of their movements could be seen. It could last forever.
It took a mistake on Sephiroth's side to bring the battle to an end. While avoiding a wide slice, he slipped backwards. Cursing his carelessness, he felt his back hit a wall of one of the buildings. He looked on steadily as Cloud's blade grew closer, knowing that he might not evade in time.
Vincent made to move towards his lover as Cloud brought the sword down. Everyone froze and Yuffie gasped. Vincent's heart almost stopped.
The huge blade that could have cleaved the former general into two was buried in the wall inches away from his head. For a while, everyone was puzzled. Could the young swordsman have missed? No, that was hardly possible! And yet none saw Sephiroth evade!
"Cloud, don't…"
The small crowd turned together at the sound of the voice to see young Kadaj leaning on the doorframe. With visible effort, the boy staggered slowly towards Cloud and Sephiroth.
"Don't do it, Cloud…" Kadaj's voice was hardly above a whisper but it sounded so clear despite the rain.
Sephiroth was looking intently at Kadaj and Cloud. There was an expression he had never seen before on the ex-SOLDIER's face. He seemed to be in some sort of intense internal struggle. Sephiroth was very aware that Cloud could have killed him. But just before the blade struck him, he had detected a sudden change in those sapphire eyes and the sword had veered off its course at the last possible minute.
Short of a few feet from them, Kadaj's figure suddenly swayed.
"Kadaj!" cried Yazoo as his brother lurched forward without warning. But Kadaj never hit the ground. Instead, the boy fell into Cloud's arms; the blond had moved quickly to catch him. Immediately, Yazoo, Loz and Tifa rushed towards them.
"Kadaj!"
"Cloud, bring him back inside, now!" ordered Tifa. Cloud nodded and carried the smaller figure in.
"All of you, inside." The martial artist said curtly before hurrying in after Cloud. No one felt like disobeying her then, so they moved out of the rain, into the warmer building of Seventh Heaven.
Back inside, Tifa appointed Loz to handle things downstairs, since Yazoo was more or less paralysed with worry. After that, she headed upstairs, where Cloud had disappeared to a little while before. Loz and Yuffie distributed towels to the others and for some time, everyone put their entire concentration into drying themselves. There was a long silence until finally, unable to bear it, Yuffie asked Loz.
"Do you think Kadaj will be okay?"
"Yeah, Tifa'll do something." Loz gave her a strained smile. Yazoo, on the other hand, looked absolutely distressed. Worried, Loz whispered something into Yuffie's ear. The Wutaian girl nodded and scampered off.
Meanwhile, Vincent sat in a corner with Sephiroth. The silver-haired man had become rather subdued and there was a small frown on his face. The gunman knew that he was worrying for Kadaj, who was, in a strange sense, his brother. He gave Sephiroth's hand a small squeeze. The younger man only gave him a wry smile.
After what seemed like forever, Tifa came downstairs. She bore an expression of helpless despondency.
"How's he?" asked Loz in a hoarse whisper, as though afraid that something terrible would happen if he spoke any louder.
"His condition has gotten very bad. I…I don't think he'll last the night." Tifa took a deep shuddering breath to calm herself, but tears escaped.
The martial artist's quiet announcement left a dead, heavy silence as everyone else tried to absorb the impact of her words. Very suddenly, the door to the bar was flung open and Reno barged in, wet and panting. He had barely regained his breath when a silver blur tackled him.
"What's wrong?" asked the alarmed redhead. Yazoo only buried his face in his neck and clutched at him tighter. Reno was about to inquire further when he caught sight of Sephiroth in the corner. He breathed in sharply and held the youth closer.
Sephiroth, however, was not in the least perturbed by Reno's reaction. Instead, he seemed to be preoccupied with something, for his face went blank.
He could not recognise his surroundings but the green light had a calming effect. It felt familiar, like he belonged, like he was safe…like a child returned to his mother. Sephiroth floated about for a while, wondering where he was. Suddenly, he caught sight of a far away figure, but this figure had its back to the light, so he couldn't see its face.
"Sephiroth…" The voice was gentle, full of love and somehow, familiar.
The former general stared stunned at the distance shape. The voice was undoubtedly a woman's, but who would called him so tenderly? Who could it be but… Sephiroth almost gasped.
"…Mother?"
The figure approached and embraced him gently, calling his name once again. Sephiroth sank into the contact, feeling an overwhelming sort of warmth. He couldn't see her face, but it felt like his mother…like Lucrecia.
No words were exchanged. He just wanted to bask in this warmth as long as possible, but a small thought nudged him from the back of his mind.
"Mother, Kadaj is…"
"Yes, I know…" Lucrecia's voice sounded so sad. "That's why I came…"
The warmth ebbed and the figure of Lucrecia held out her hand. A dark, round object the size of a small egg laid there. Sephiroth backed up reflexively, staring horrified at the object. An onslaught of memories besieged him, the flurry of images making him sick.
At last, he managed to choke out, "Black Materia…"
"Yes."
"The-The thing I tried to use to…" he trailed off, unable to take his eyes off the item.
"Shh…it doesn't matter anymore." Pressing Black Materia into his hands, she whispered urgently, "What's important now is that we save Kadaj."
"Sephiroth, Sephiroth!"
Sephiroth blinked, trying to focus his sight. Vincent was shaking his shoulders slightly. He realised he was lying down and tried to sit up. Vincent breathed out in relief, while everyone else was watching him.
"You gave us a scare when you blacked out just now!" exclaimed Yuffie.
"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well somewhere?" asked a concerned Vincent. He noticed that Sephiroth was gripping something very tightly in his hand, and his face was set in a grim expression. He looked at the gunman right in the eye.
"I know how to save Kadaj."
Looking down at the silver-haired boy lying on the bed, Cloud felt all too acutely a sharp pang of pain and longing. Kadaj's skin had lost every trace of colour; it seemed to Cloud that he was dissolving into the sheets, lying so still. The barely noticeable rise and fall of his chest was the one thing that told Cloud he was still breathing. When Tifa had given him a look of despair and shook her head, he knew.
'He's dying…'
Cloud closed his eyes and breathed deeply. It was something very painful for him to admit, because…because…
His train of thoughts broke down. Because of what? Why was it that even now the reason continued to elude him? Or could it be that he wasn't ready, wasn't willing to admit to himself…again, what was it that he wasn't willing to admit?
Slow, hesitating fingers brushed the bangs out of Kadaj's closed eyes. The fingers lined the pale eyebrows, the cheeks, lingering over the lips before returning to tuck stray strands of hair behind his ear. Cloud's hand was trembling; this was innocence so raw it was painful to touch. And yet…there was nothing more he wanted to do than to hold him. The desire was so strong it unnerved him.
Kadaj stirred; Cloud snatched his hand back just as the boy opened his eyes.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
Kadaj shook his head weakly. He tried to sit up. Cloud helped him up and sat down on the bed beside him. They exchanged no words, did not looked at each other. For the first time, Cloud felt uneasy with the silence. Because in that silence was an unspoken acknowledgement that death was at hand. They both knew, and understood, that there was nothing to be done but to spend these last few moments in quiet.
"Sephiroth…" said Kadaj in a quiet voice. "He is…our brother…"
He noticed that Cloud was clenching his fists at the mention of the man's name. Somehow, it pained him.
"Do you hate him that much?"
"He took away a person that I…we all care about."
A person who claimed my heart…
"He destroyed dreams of innocent lives…"
The purity of her gentle soul…
"Hurt the people important to me…"
He once took everything from me…
Cloud pinched his eyes shut, because he could feel the hatred swirling in his eyes. Kadaj watched him closely, very aware of the various emotions emanating from the blond. There was pain and grief and anger, and also a form of emptiness. Although he did not know the name of this person, he understood how precious she must have been to Cloud. However, he couldn't bear for this hatred to continue to run between the two most important people in his life. When understanding had first dawned upon Kadaj, it was so obvious that it surprised him how he could have been so ignorant. He knew now the answers to all his strange little symptoms, but understanding and knowing did not always mean solace. Instead, it brought him a subtle sort of pain. For with this understanding came a troubling acknowledgement.
Kadaj may love Cloud, but there was someone else in Cloud's heart, someone whose presence was eternal and unmovable. He could also sense that Cloud was not yet ready to let go of that presence. What constituted the final blow was that Kadaj could feel no anger, nor envy, nor contempt, but simply chose to accept it and savour the bittersweet feeling of loving someone without being loved in return. But now things had changed. With his death drawing nearer, he felt detached to everything around him, gaining courage from the knowledge that there was only so much time left to appreciate, to savour in this love.
Taking Cloud's hands in his own, Kadaj leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. Cloud felt extreme agony and sweet pleasure at the same time, because in a way, Kadaj was telling him that he had given in to Death; at the same time, he was telling him that he will remain the most cherished person in Kadaj's heart. They were slow in ending the soft kiss, as though exchanging a piece of their souls with each other. When they parted, Kadaj's cheeks were wet with tears and Cloud knew that his heart will die with Kadaj tonight. Because he knew, had always known, that the boy had filled the gap in his injured heart, that unknowingly, he helped Cloud to love again.
When he goes tonight, this heart will no longer bleed, nor would it feel, nor ever know warmth again…
"Promise me something…"
Kadaj's grip on Cloud's hands tightened. Cloud nodded slowly.
"Forgive him. I know I'm asking a lot from you, but I believe that he's changed. I can see it in his eyes."
It's hard…
"He's just like us, Cloud. I want you to give him what you've given us."
What? What is it?
"A chance…acceptance…trust…"
Trust…trust him…could I?
"It is…difficult, but I will try."
Looking into those beautifully, painfully clear eyes he had come to love so much, Cloud sealed his promise with a kiss.
A/N: ANGST! I admit it. I'm an angst-bitch. Somehow, this chapter turned out kind of long. I actually had more to put in, but thought it best to use it in the next chapter. Sephiroth has a way to save Kadaj, but will it work? Or will it be too late? Cloud has finally realised that he loves Kadaj (Yay!) It was starting to frustrate even me! I hope I've managed to illustrate the struggle Cloud had with himself. I wanted to portray the last scene as something very sad, but still sweet. All pairings represent different sides of love, or the nature of love. I wanted very much to let all of you see these sides and be able to appreciate these different natures. Sorry, that was absolutely unnecessary…but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts. Again, I hope that I've done the chapter justice. Please review or offer critiques if you wish.