Blood for Blood Chapter 4

Because You Loved Me

Alannah gave a small sigh of happiness, and slowly closed her eyes. In moments, she was peacefully asleep, and Mirana immediately began to clean the cuts and wounds that scored her arms, legs, and chest. Stayne watched impassively, only wincing slightly as more cuts were cleaned. He let his gaze slowly sweep up and down Alannah's body. The thought that if he had been a few minutes late she would have died had latched into his brain and refused to leave. He mentally shook himself, trying to dislodge the mocking, sibilant voice that seemed to whisper harshly and mockingly in his ear.

"You couldn't even stop him from taking her right under your nose. You just stood there and watched while he walked out with your wife. You didn't even move."

"Shut up", Stayne hissed harshly. "I didn't have a chance! She went with him. He would have killed our daughter!"

"But you could have tried harder to get her to stay. Funny, isn't it-ever since you came into her life, she's been in mortal danger twice. You bring death and destruction to everything and everyone you touch. You never deserved her, and you know it. The kind thing to do would be to just leave-I'm sure that in time she will come to regard you as nothing more than an unpleasant memory. And your daughter-she will forget you quite easily, she's young. You are an Outcast-and that is all you will ever be."

Stayne clutched the sides of his head, digging furrows into the flesh. "SHUT UP!!"

Mirana glanced at him, startled and concerned. "Ilosivic, are you feeling alright?"

Stayne blinked, then gave a strangled cry and ran out of the room. Tarrant moved to follow, but Mirana shook her head. "Let him go. He is struggling greatly with something."

Katarina watched him go, tears in her eyes. "Daddy!!"

Mirana turned to her, giving her a gentle hug. "He'll be fine, little one. He's just worried about your momma. Let's see if we can make her feel all better. That will cheer him up."

Tarrant glanced over at Alice. "I'm going to find him. This is more than a struggle. I've seen that kind of behavior before."

Alice nodded. "Do you think you'll be able to reach him if he's…becoming like Thackery?"

Tarrant sighed. "I don't know. But for the sake of Alannah, I'm going to try my damndest."

Stayne ran through the halls blindly, pursued by the mocking voice that refused to be silenced. It whispered, teasing and taunting him. He could no longer ignore it, and he was beginning to believe everything. He had never deserved someone like Alannah. He had been a fool to think that a beast could ever hold on to a beauty. 'It would be better if I just left. She'd get over me in time, I'm sure.'

"But just leaving won't be enough. Think of all the pain she went through because of you. Think of how much easier her life would be if you were completely gone from it. You still have your sword. All you have to do is plunge it into your chest. It won't take too long, and you'll atone for every mistake you've ever made. You don't deserve to live anyway, and you know it. Monsters never do."

Stayne wept, shaking his head in a last effort of denial. "No. She loves me. She does."

"She's a beautiful woman. Once you are gone, she'll find more than her share of suitors. You'll become nothing but a memory to her. And everyone else will simply forget you. It's for the best, and you know it. One thrust, and everyone's troubles will be over."

Stayne gave a sob of defeat. "Yes. It is for the best."

He drew his sword, and held it in front of him. "Goodbye, my love. I never deserved you."

He closed his eye, bracing himself for the final thrust. But before he could make a move, something large and solid bulled into him, knocking the sword from his grasp. He gave an animal cry of rage and pain, and scrabbled for the sword. "I have to! I have to! I have to!"

"STOP IT!!" Tarrant shouted, struggling mightily with Stayne. "Stayne! STOP!"

"I have to..." Stayne whispered brokenly. "I caused it, I caused everything, I'm a monster, I…" he suddenly crumpled to the floor, sobbing. Tarrant knelt in front of him.

"Stayne, listen to me. You did not cause any of this. You are not to blame for anything. The only ones who deserve any blame are the Maxwells. They caused this, not you."

Stayne looked at Tarrant, and laughed hollowly. "She was safe until I came along. She was living a quiet and peaceful life until I came into it."

Tarrant looked thoughtful. "That might be true, but do you think she would have remained safe? She told me about the first time Lord Maxwell found her, and from what she said-if you had not been there, it is very likely that she would have ended up dead that day. Maxwell was not going to let go of her unless one or the other of them was dead. You saved her life."

Stayne laughed. "Oh, yes! I did a marvelous job! She gets abducted and nearly killed less than two months later!"

"And you saved her again. You exacted revenge on Lord Maxwell for what he had done."

Stayne grinned darkly. "I did, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I am an animal, Tarrant. No matter how hard I try to hide my true nature behind a mask of gentility, it will always slip through. I was foolish to think an animal could bind itself to a beauty like her. I don't deserve her, and I never did. So please, leave me be. I want to at least do one noble thing in my life."

Tarrant glared at him, and then shrugged. "Go ahead. I won't stop you. The sword is right over there." He moved aside, and quickly grabbed the sword, pressing it into Stayne's hand. "There. Now all you have to do is let metal pierce flesh. Simple. But I would hate to be the one to have to tell your wife and daughter that you're dead. You do realize Alannah will most likely want to join you?"

Stayne shook his head. "No. She'll forget me in time. Find someone better."

Tarrant gaped at him in amazement. "You don't see it, do you? Stayne, she is bound to you. If you die, she will too."

Stayne looked skeptical. "Tarrant, what are you babbling about?"

Tarrant sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Alannah suffers from the same thing I do. The eyes changing color, the strong emotions, heightened senses. The only difference is that in my case, it was forced upon me. I've learned to live with it, but I can never fully control it. But Alannah was born that way. She's what Alice would call a very empathetic person. She feels things at a different level-and more intensely than most."

Stayne looked uncomprehending. "What are you saying?"

Tarrant sighed. "When she fell in love with you, she gave herself to you-body and soul. It's not a physical bond, but something much more deep and in a way, more tangible. Her loyalty is deeply rooted in her. She will die without you, Stayne."

"She would have never been hurt if not for me!" Stayne wailed. "Don't you understand?! I have to! I can't…I…."

"Ilosivic, please…" Stayne spun around in shock. Alannah stood there, tears pouting down her face. She advanced on him. "What are you doing?"

Stayne gulped. "I…Alannah…I can't…You deserve…"

"What? What do I deserve? Do I deserve to lose the man I love?! The man who saved my life?! The man that means more to me than he will ever realize?! Tell me what I deserve!!" She shouted, tears pouring down her face. She slapped him. "If you think that's what I deserve, then by all means-go ahead and die! I won't stop you! But you had better make sure you die quickly, because I'm following after!"

She suddenly began sobbing, clinging to him. "Please, please my love. Don't leave me."

Stayne shuddered, and then dropped his sword with a clatter. He wrapped his arms around her, clinging tightly. 'Oh Time, what am I doing?!'

"I am so sorry, Alannah. I just…I don't know. I guess I let my guilt get a hold of me."

Alannah spoke, muffled by his shirt. "You are not guilty of anything, Ilosivic. You do not have anything to be ashamed of or feel guilt for."

Stayne gently pulled away, gazing sadly into her eyes. "I do, though. What I did to Gerald Maxwell, to his brother…"

"Do you feel guilt about that?" Alannah asked in surprise. Stayne slowly shook his head.

"No! But…I should! Instead, I just feel nothing. It's not a pleasant feeling." He looked away, and whispered quietly. "I'm an animal. A beast who loves a beauty."

"And I'm a beauty who loves a beast more deeply and passionately than I could ever say." Alannah replied softly, gently forcing Stayne's head around. "Ilosivic Stayne, you are the most wonderful man I have known. I am completely, totally, and utterly in love with you. You are everything to me. You and Katarina are my world, my life, and my light. You are my strength, my hope, my entire being. You are my soul. I will be nothing without you. Please, don't leave me alone." She said softly and sadly.

Stayne gulped, and then kissed her deeply. "I won't, my love. I will never leave you again. I swear by Time." He suddenly swept her up into his arms, and carried her through the halls to their old bedchamber, swiftly making his way over to the bed.

He placed her gently on the bed, and then lay next to her, kissing her deeply. She happily responded, then pulled away and looked at him inquiringly. "Why were you trying to kill yourself?"

He looked at her, guilt and sadness in his expression. "I failed again. You were hurt, and I just kept hearing this voice whispering about how things would be better if I was gone, and I couldn't shut it out, no matter how hard I tried."

Alannah gazed sadly at him. "Ilosivic, did you believe it?"

He nodded. "I did. But… I don't know if what I heard was truth, but I can't leave you. I love you too damn much to."

Alannah gazed at him, tears in her eyes before pulling him down into a passionate kiss. She slipped her hands under his shirt, tugging eagerly at it. He looked at her, slightly bemused. "Alannah, don't you think you should maybe recover some of your strength first? You've been through quite…" he yelped in shock as she flipped him onto his back. "A lot." He finished. Alannah smirked at him.

"It's amazing how well skilled Mirana is in the Healing Arts. Also, I distinctly remember you promising that you would be with me when I woke up." She lightly smacked his chest. "That's for not being there."

Stayne opened his mouth to apologize, and found himself unable to form a coherent sentence. Alannah's lips were on his neck, slowly kissing the flesh. Her tongue moved in slow circles, and he moaned in ecstasy.

Alannah smirked, and then slid her hands slowly down his chest, gathering the bottom of his shirt in her fists. She removed her lips from his neck, and he whimpered.

Alannah slowly pushed his shirt upwards, kissing the exposed skin, and he groaned. "Oh…"

He lifted his arms, allowing her to pull his shirt off completely. She tossed it aside, and he pulled her into a kiss that left both of them panting and breathless.

Slowly, they undressed each other, their hands and mouths kissing, stroking and caressing. Then began the dance-a rhythm they both knew quite well, one that swelled in both of them, first loud, then soft and slow. They let its waves wash over them, falling endlessly into a marvelous song that seemed to come from everywhere.

Stayne cried out in pleasure as he felt his climax race through him. Alannah followed moments later with her own cry.

She lay against his chest, slowly caressing him. "See what you would have missed?"

He smiled, and then pulled her up into a kiss. "I would have missed more than this, my love."

She placed her head on his shoulder. "Promise me something. Promise me that you will never leave me."

"I promise, My Lady. I swear by Time Himself that I will never leave you again."

Alannah kissed him, and then pressed herself close to him.

"Thank you, My Lady." He whispered in her ear.

Alannah looked over at him. "For what?"

"Loving me."

Author's Note-One more chapter after this one.