Chapter 29: I am (www . youtube . com/watch?v=yxzIwlK5krw)

Memo: OMG. This chapter is beast. Hahaha. I think this is one of the best moments between the two of them. :) By the way, the names are pronounced "ee-sah," "brehnt," "lee," "eye-lah," "kee-sah," "eh-lee-sah," and "eh-mee."

Nexus' PoV

Everything hurt.

I must've fallen a long way. When I finally came to, the pain kind of hit me all at once, and my eyes shot open. But...I'm so glad I opened my eyes.

I don't know where the hell I am, I thought, pushing myself up.

Everything hurt, except for my heart. I had never ever felt more alive in my life. And it was all thanks to him.

Where is Axel? I wondered, pushing my hair out of my face. My eyes widened. Where am I?! This place is beautiful!

I jumped to my feet. This place was gorgeous. There were palm trees all over the place, all kinds of them. Little shrubs and flowers dotted the soft grass and lined the outer wall of a cave. It was obviously someplace tropical. The other clue was the temperature; it was pretty warm.

"..." A smile crept onto my face. I started running forward, toward the light, and soon I found myself on a cliff. Crystal-clear blue water stretched as far as the eye could see. A warm wind blew, tossing my hair and clothes around.

Well, one thing was for sure: I was definitely on an island. And usually where there's one island, there's another.

Stepping closer to the edge of the cliff, I looked down. It wasn't too far of a drop down into the water. I was beginning to consider it, since it was getting so warm, especially now that I was under the sun. But I figured it might have something to do with the amount of clothing I was wearing.

Smiling like a big dummy, I stripped off my overshirt, then my shoes and socks, and finally my pants. I was left standing there in just a tank top and my underwear. But damn, did it feel great.

A huge gust of warm island wind hit my face, and I stretched out my arms, soaking it all in. I could've stayed there forever.

*~*~*

As Nexus stood in the sun, humming a song she hadn't heard in over a year, she failed to notice her clothes, which were being tossed up and around in the breeze. Her pants, the most mischievious, flew down off the cliff, hitting trees and bushes this way and that, and finally hit Axel right in the face.

He bolted upright, wondering what was smothering him. Clawing at his face, he pulled off the pants and stared for a moment in disbelief.

Why do these look familiar? he wondered, getting to his feet. Oh, Nex...!

That meant she was somewhere around here, then. So, walking slowly (he had also fallen pretty hard on the ground), he wandered through the tropical forest, in awe of its beauty, but soon he found an even more beautiful sight.

Nexus was standing near the edge of a cliff, facing the sun, in minimal clothing. She was singing softly; it was a song Axel remembered from back in Castle Oblivion. He hadn't heard it since then, and he was surprised to catch her singing it again now. He smirked, and, as quietly as he could, he crept up behind Nexus and--using her pants--lassoed her around her hips.

She gasped, looked down, then giggled quietly. Stepping out of the lasso, Nexus carefully stepped to the very edge of the cliff. She beamed up at Axel while he chuckled.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You really wanna know?" she said, getting close to him. He shrugged.

"Sure."

She laughed, and then in one swift motion, she pulled Axel off of the cliff, and together they fell down toward the water. Axel looked scared, but Nexus could only laugh. They hit the water soon, one right after the other. It was a refreshing, warm temperature, just like the rest of the island. Nexus touched the sandy bottom with her foot, then pushed herself over to Axel, who was looking around for her. Pushing his cheek so he was facing her, Nexus kissed him deeply as they floated to the surface.

Nexus' PoV

I think it was then that I felt most alive...well, scratch that. But it felt...like a feeling I could never describe with words. I wanted to stop time and stay in that moment forever. His lips touching mine, his arms around me...tell me it wasn't love.

Suddenly we were interrupted by something falling on top of us. I screamed with laughter. My pants had found us.

"You're crazy," Axel said, handing my pants back to me. I laughed.

"Yeah...point?" I said, pushing my hair back out of my face.

"...I love you," he replied. I felt myself blush. "I-I've never felt this way before...about anyone."

"I know what you mean," I said softly.

We both sighed quietly in unison, then chuckled at the coincidence.

"C'mon, let's get tried off," Axel said, pulling me toward the shore.

I followed him, and soon we ended up on the beach at the lowest point of the island. It was just that: a beach. There were no houses or anything. I figured there might be some sign of civilization on the other side, but there was no way to know except explore.

"We should find my clothes," I said as we tromped through the sand. "I hope they're still on that cliff."

"Don't go running off by yourself," Axel said, grabbing my hand as I started to dash away. I blushed again. "We don't know where we are."

"Paradise?" I said, slowing down.

He looked at me like he wanted to agree, but I understood his hesitation. For all we knew, we could've been in the most dangerous place in the universe.

Though considering we didn't just die jumping off of a cliff, I was pretty sure the former explanation played true.

After finding the rest of my clothes, we found a small cave in the rocky part of the forest that was just big enough for the two of us to sit in, so we sat down, laying our clothes out to dry.

We didn't talk for a while, just kind of sat there and took things in. Things were going to be so different, it was hard to tell where we were supposed to start over.

I took some comfort in the fact that he was still holding my hand. He was always there. He would always be there. It was nice knowing that.

"I'm hungry," I said quietly.

"Yeah, me too." Axel looked around. "But I don't know what we're supposed to eat."

"Then I guess we won't." I chuckled. "If I get hungry enough, I'll just eat you."

I bit his shoulder playfully.

"Ew, you taste like...polyester."

He laughed.

"In that case, I guess we should go find something to eat."

.........

We had ourselves a fine feast that night.

No, not really. Not at all.

We just managed to find a few different fruits going on the trees around us. Some of them had cool shapes, like the shape of the moon, or of a star. In fact, the one that tasted like a star tasted the best.

I later found out from Sora that those are called paopu, and they're supposed to bind your destinies together forever.

Anyway, it was enough to keep us alive until the morning. Our clothes still weren't completely dry, so we were sitting there in the dark, Axel in just his boxers and me in just my bra and underwear. I was hoping we'd explore more of the island in the morning.

"Can you control fire still?" I asked Axel. He shrugged. "You should try to make a fire."

"What do we have to burn?" he asked, looking around.

"Ourselves?"

He frowned. "Let's not."

I frowned, too. It was supposed to be a joke, but I guess he didn't think so.

*~*~*

They were quiet after that, and the silence was starting to get to them. It wasn't that they didn't have anything to talk about or whatever. They had plenty of things to say. It was just a matter of where to start.

"So...what do we do now?" Axel asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Nexus said, looking at him.

"I mean...just that. What do we do now? Where are we supposed to go?"

"We could just stay here, if it works out," Nexus suggested.

"Yeah, I guess so." Axel sighed. "But should we get married?"

"I don't know." Nexus sighed as well. "I think it would be nice, but realistically, it's a lot of munny that we don't have, and we don't really have any family. Half of the celebration is for them anyway. I mean, at least, I don't have any family."

"What about your parents?" Axel asked. She shrugged.

"I don't even know if they're alive. I don't really care, though."

"Seriously?" Axel looked away, out into the distant night sky. "I would give just about anything to talk to my parents even just one more time. How can you say that about your parents?"

"I don't know them. I barely remember them. I don't even know if they loved me."

"If they hadn't loved you, they probably never would've sent you to Ansem's in the first place," Axel pointed out.

"Look, I don't know. But I don't care to know. I don't really need them now, and they've never been there in the past. So why should I bother?"

Axel chuckled quietly.

"What? Why is that funny?" Nexus asked defensively.

"It's not funny. I'm laughing because you sound like a spoiled brat."

Nexus frowned angrily, narrowing her eyes. "Spoiled?"

"Yeah. You don't understand. Like I said, I'd love to see my family again, but I don't even have that option. They know I died a while ago, and it would freak them out if I just came and said, 'Hi, I'm your son's Nobody.' Even my brother and sisters wouldn't go for that."

"But you know your family!" Nexus exclaimed. "I don't."

"You just said you didn't care if you knew them."

"I don't! I don't care. It's too late to mess with that sort of thing."

"Not really. You should try and find them. They'd probably be really thrilled to talk to you."

"I doubt it. I wasn't supposed to exist, remember?"

"Neither was I."

Nexus sighed, frustrated.

"If I found them, what would I say? No, I'm not going to do that. They'd hate me because I took away their real daughter."

"No, they'd hate me because I chose you over their real daughter," Axel said, smirking. "Besides, you don't know that. You won't know until you try. And then if they hate you, oh well. At least you know."

"I don't want to know!" Nexus cried, tears in her eyes. Her voice echoed into the sky.

"Alright. Then you don't have to," Axel said coldly.

"Then I won't."

Nexus leaned her head back against the cold rock. She knew it was dark enough that Axel wouldn't be able to see her tears.

I wonder what happened to him, she thought, glancing at Axel out of the corner of her eye. He rested his head on the wall to his left, away from her. How did he die? I can't ask him now, though. He's mad at me. I can't blame him, but I...don't want to see them. It makes me sick every time I think about it.

Closing her eyes, she sighed. Slowly she drifted into an uneasy sleep, Axel's hand still grasping hers.

Nexus' PoV

"Ginger! Hey!"

The strange voice startled me awake, and my eyes opened to see a big, dark red dog looking right at me, its nose in my face.

"Ginger, get over here, now."

Wagging its tail, the dog bounced away to its owner. Owner.

"Huh?" I gasped, sitting upright. Someone must've found us and taken us to their house. I was sitting on a sofa in their family room, but I didn't see Axel around. Maybe he was already up.

"You stupid dog. What were you doing, huh?"

It was a man's voice, but he sounded young. I stood up slowly, looking into the kitchen.

It wasn't just the man in the kitchen, but a whole family. There were four girls sitting at the table, two of them exactly identical. The man and the dog were by the stove, talking to the wife.

I hope that man and that woman aren't married, I thought, looking at the wrinkles on the woman's beautiful face. They must be almost twenty years apart!

"Brent, will you get control of that dog?" the wife asked.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm trying," Brent said, grinning. No, mother and son. Well, the closer I looked, the more I realized the son looked like his mother. He was beautiful, with bright blue eyes and a mess of dark brown hair. She was beautiful, too, with the same blue eyes and silver-streaked red hair.

"Mom, when does Dad get home from work tonight?" the oldest of the girls asked. She had red hair, like her mom.

"Late again. Tomorrow and Christmas he's off, though." Suddenly the mom slammed her spoon down on the stove angrily. "Where is your brother? LEIGH!!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Yeah, Ma, I'm coming!" Leigh shouted from the upstairs part of the house.

None of them had said anything to me yet, but the dog seemed to like me.

"Excuse me?" I said quietly, but one of the daughters interrupted.

"Is he tinkering with his toys again?" one of the twins said with a laugh.

"Well, he has a project due for a job this Saturday," the mom replied, dishing out food to the kids. Brent, coaxing the dog over, sat down across from the oldest daughter and next to one of the twins.

"They're working him so hard, and he hasn't even been officially hired yet," the other twin said. Or maybe it was the same one. They looked so much alike, it was hard to tell.

"He can't complain. He just loves playing with fire," the oldest daughter declared with a big smirk. I had to wonder if she meant that literally or not.

"Mom, I meant to ask you," Brent said, changing the subject. "Did they ever find Isa?"

"Well...yes and no," the mother replied.

"They found him dead a couple of days ago," the oldest daughter said quietly, poking her food with the end of her fork.

"But don't you dare mention that to Leigh!" the mom said, hitting Brent on the head with a potholder. "He's had a hard enough time lately, and now his best friend dying like that..."

"I won't, Mom, don't worry."

"But what if he brings it up?" the oldest daughter asked, smiling coyly. Brent rolled his eyes slightly.

"Um, excuse--"

"LEIGH! DINNER! NOW!!" The mom slammed her spoon on the stove again.

"MOM! COMING! NOW!!"

I heard hurried footsteps coming from above, then then hurried down the stairs to my left.

"Sorry, Mom, I'm trying to finish that stupid project," Leigh said, plopping down in the chair next to Brent. "I thought I graduated from college so I wouldn't have to do stupid stuff."

"Yes, well, you won't think it's stupid when you get the job," his mother said calmly.

"Yeah, I'd better get the damn job at this rate--"

"Leigh! Not in front of your sister."

She gestured to the youngest, who hadn't said a word. She had a beautiful little face, with dark brown hair like Brent, but green eyes.

"Whatever," Leigh said, leaning back in his chair. He had to be in his early twenties, if he was a recent college graduate. He also seemed familiar, and then I realized HE was the kid in the picture in my old room. Not Axel. Too bad. "So, Aila, I heard some senior from your old high school is trying to get you to be his prom date."

Aila, the oldest daughter, flushed pink.

"Yeah, I heard that, too," Brent said, grinning. "And that you said yes."

"He's been my friend since junior high," Aila said defensively. "I think it would be nice to see all my younger friends again."

Well, who could blame this kid? Aila was beautiful, too. In fact, all of them were. Only Brent and the youngest daughter had the brown hair, while the rest were gingers, even the dog. The twins had stunning blue eyes like their mom, and Leigh had the bright red hair, and the green eyes. It reminded me of Axel.

"Oh! Yeah, um, excuse me?" I said, stepping toward them all. "Have any of you seen Axel?"

I was really getting tired of being ignored, but I didn't really mind watching their little scene.

Suddenly the youngest girl raised her hand, like she was in school.

"Yes, Emi?" her mother said sweetly.

"May I go to the restroom, please?" she asked in a super-sweet, timid voice.

"Of course, sweetie."

Emi got out of her chair, pushed it in behind her, and trotted upstairs, shutting a door behind her.

"What the hell was that?" Brent asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She doesn't talk, Brent," Leigh said, sighing as he took a sip of wine. I noticed Brent and Leigh were the only kids at the table with wine glasses, meaning all of the others were younger than twenty-one.

"What? Why?" Brent looked at his mother, then at his sisters.

"People are making fun of her at school," one of the twins said.

"Because she's so small for her age," the other added.

"She won't talk to anyone but mom," Aila said.

"Have you talked to her teacher?" Brent asked. His mother nodded.

"She's tried everything. All we can do is wait for her to get taller."

"Kisa, didn't you have her teacher?" Brent asked one of the twins. She nodded.

"I tried talking to her, too. We can't get them to stop."

"It needs to stop before it gets physical, too," Aila sighed.

"If any of those kids even THINK about touching Emi, they'll never make it to junior high alive," Leigh growled under his breath.

Suddenly, interrupting the conversation, a loud noise came from upstairs. We all looked at the bathroom, but the door was open. The noise happened again a few more times, then it was followed by a shriek.

"What's going on up there?" their mother shouted up to Emi. But she just kept screaming.

"I smell smoke," Kisa said. Their mother whipped around, facing Leigh.

"Leigh!" she screamed. "Did you leave your stuff out!?"

"Yeah, I told you--I was working on it before dinner!" he cried, looking back upstairs. "Emi!"

"C'mon, Leigh!" Brent shouted, grabbing him and dragging him out the front door.

I could smell something burning, and I could hear the flames crackling from up above.

Soon the whole family--except Emi--and me had left the house.

"Elisa, call your dad," their mother said, giving them all commands. "Brent, call the fire department. Kisa, Aila, see if you can get the neighbors to help--"

Suddenly, Leigh burst forward from the group, running back toward the house.

"Leigh!" his mother screamed, chasing after him. "Get back here right now!"

"No, Mom!" he shouted. "This is my fault! I can't just leave her in there to die!"

"Leigh!" Aila shrieked, but he was already halfway back to the house.

Something in me prompted me to follow him. Maybe, if he noticed me, he and I could save his sister. Something about Leigh was weird. He was either really brave, or really stupid.

The upper part of the house was completely smoke when we got inside.

"EMI!" Leigh shouted, coughing as he sprinted up the stairs. "EMI, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

I could barely hear her screaming over the noise of the fire.

Staying close behind Leigh, I followed him into what was probably once his bedroom, but was now an inferno.

"Emi!" he cried, running over to his sister. "Dammit!"

I gasped. Emi's body was covered in flames, and most of her skin was already burnt off. The smell of burning I had sensed earlier wasn't just the fire, but her body.

"Hold on, Emi," Leigh gasped, coughing as he put on some gloves that were completely fire-proof. "Stay calm. I'll save you. I'll save you."

I couldn't believe how terrifying and yet how touching this was. Then I noticed the fire dancing around my feet, but not touching me at all. What was going on? Why was I not affected?

Suddenly a loud crack came from above our heads, and immediately after, a wooden beam broke through Leigh's bedroom ceiling.

"NO!" he shouted as it landed on him, trapping him in the flames. He screamed in pain, pulling his sister next him to try to protect her. But it was no use. Now both of them were burning alive.

Leigh, tears rolling down his cheeks, kissed his little sister's burnt hair, then both of their screams blended together into the night air.

.........

"AHHH!" I cried, opening my eyes. But I was no longer in the burning house. Instead I was in a white hallway. Leigh wasn't anywhere around, nor was Emi. But I could see shadows from an adjacent room, and I heard voices, so I knew I wasn't alone.

"Look, don't you want to see your family again?" a familiar voice asked.

"Saix?" I mouthed.

"Isa, are you sure?" Well, I recognized that voice. I had found Axel.

"It's Saix now, got it memorized?"

They both chuckled, amused.

"You'll get a new name, too. And a purpose. And then we can be whole again."

"..."

"C'mon, Leigh, who knows. Maybe your sister will show up, too."

I gasped. Leigh? Axel? The same person? Maybe it wasn't Axel Saix was talking to.

But then I saw them walk by, the blue haired man, followed by the red head himself. Axel.

"Axel was Leigh?!" I gasped, pacing the hallway. "But the names don't..."

Then everything played out in my head.

Axel minus the "x" was "ael," then spelled backward, was "lea." Lea.

.........

Gasping, I opened my eyes, grateful to find myself back on the island with Axel. I was now curled into a ball, huddling in Axel's arms. Exhaling slowly, I sniffed back tears. Roxas was right all along.

"I know what you just saw."

Startled, I sat upright to see Axel staring at me, his face pained. It was then I noticed that the two teardrops tattooed onto his face were gone.

"How...?"

"Same heart, remember?"

I sighed, shuddering and closing my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, my throat closing up. "I understand everything now."

"It's okay," Axel said, wiping my tears away. "I'm sorry you had to watch that, but I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"...I'm sorry. You were right. I'm spoiled."

I burst into tears at just the very thought of his sister and his tragic death. That explained nearly everything.

"Haha, no, you're not," Axel laughed, pulling me close. "You're just human, like me."

He sighed, and I could hear his heartbeat. I started counting beats.