Enjoy!

Chapter IV.

She started to unbutton his shirt as he ran his fingers through her blonde hair. She rubbed his chest, as trailed his hands on her back, engulfing her into a tight embrace. At this point, she just wanted to make love to him right here, right now. His feelings reciprocated hers in every way. He pushed to her to the wall, as she passionately kissed his neck. It felt incredible to be here with him. She couldn't deny the passion between them, no matter how much she wanted to. "Rufus…." She said as he nibbled on her ear, tickling her. He chuckled in spite of himself and dragged her closer to him. She moaned in content as he thrust his lips upon hers once more and she couldn't help but moan his name in satisfaction. Lily had just wrapped her legs around Rufus's waist, as he held her with one hand on the wall. It was evident what they intended to do to one another. Suddenly, Lily pulled away, "Rufus, we shouldn't do this," she mumbled, "especially not here."

Rufus sighed. He knew they shouldn't, but that didn't change the fact that he wanted to.

"You're right," he said, even though his heart screamed not to do something that would put an end to this wonderful experience he was having.

"This never happened, okay?" She questioned looking at him uncertainly.

The truth was that she so badly wanted to continue kissing him, but she knew it was wrong. She enjoyed his friendship and didn't want to be the end of his marriage. She had gone through too many divorces not to know the results of what it could do to a person. Not to mention, she wasn't even sure what exactly she felt for him. Oh, obviously there was chemistry between them. There always had been. There was no denying that fact, but did she even have feelings for him? Maybe she didn't. Maybe it was just some twisted way of feeling young once again. She had always felt as if she'd been robbed of her youth. She aged almost over night after leaving Rufus. Having a baby had made her feel eons beyond her actual years. Then, getting married to William hadn't allowed her to be young and carefree. She had once again been sucked into the high society way of ife

"Okay," he replied. However, as the words left his mouth, his head screamed "No."

"Okay then." The truth was she had wanted to him not to agree. "Perhaps it'd be best if we forgot about the kiss at Eleanor's too?" She snapped.

"What?" Allison asked, suddenly appearing in the room, Dan trailing behind her.

Rufus and Lily turned there attention to her immediately as Lily groaned is exasperation.

"Allison…" Rufus said, "honey…"

Allison turned her attention to Dan, "Could you-?"

"….Jenny and Eric? Yeah."

As he left, Allison turned and glared at both Lily and Rufus.

Chapter V

"I'm saying you're overreacting per say. I'm just saying that you're having a reaction that is beyond what is necessary." Well, at least it was when it came to being angry for kissing Lily at Eleanor's. At that point, it really had just been for the mere fact that Lily wanted to make Bart jealous.

"I have been killing myself trying to make up for what happened in Hudson-"

"Which is not an overreaction, I might add."

"-and now I find out that the two of you," she began turning towards Lily, "are making out at fall parties?"

She might as well go along with this. Lily rolled her eyes and said, "It was hardly making out," with digust, "and there's an explanation."

"Hey, guys! I'm back! And I brought….Blair." Serena had burst into the loft. All three adults looked away in silence.

"Wow. Weird vibe," she continued.

Lily gave her a "if looks could kill" death glare.

"Okay. Where's Dan?"

Once Serena and Blair had stalked off to join the rest of the children, their heated discussion had resumed.

"Rufus, an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one," Allison declared.

"Oh please. Nobody is buying that. Emotional affairs are necessary to keep a marriage alive."

"And how many times have you been divorced?"

She gave Allison a dirty look and it took everything in her power not to slap her across the face. She had been divorced because she hadn't loved them. She'd always tried so hard to replicate what she'd had with Rufus. In the beginning, she had been searching for love. Something similar to what she had shared with Rufus. Gradually she had begun to just marry for comfort. She had been able to cope with the fact that nobody would ever compare to what she had had with Rufus. Yet, that had never stopped her from searching desperately. When Allison made that comment, she wouldn't let anyone know that it cut her like a knife.

Rufus knew her well and could sense her hurt. From their recent meetings, he could tell how much it hurt that none of those guys were right for her. "Allison, this is not about Lily. This is about you and me."

"Exactly. And if we're going to have any chance, then she can't be here." "

"What? For thanksgiving or ever?" Lily asked with an attitude.

Allison made a movement that clearly suggested the latter was the preferable option.

"Oh come on. You can't be serious." She didn't not want to see him. It didn't matter if they had a real relationship. It didn't change the fact that he was the only person that really cared about her. The only person that listened to what she had to say.

"I am," she replied. "I have made mistakes, and I know that, but if she's in your life. You're never going to get over her."

"Allison…." He tried to reason.

"This is it, Rufus. Okay? If you want to make this work then you have to make a choice."

Rufus swallowed hard and then stole a glance at Lily who was looking towards him, but looked away the moment he tried to make eye contact.

Chapter VI

He had made his decision. He had chosen his family over her. She understood, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell. But what was she supposed to do? She was sitting here, on the edge of tears and he was sitting at home okay. How was that fair? She just—They had really gotten close and she really had started feeling something for him once again. Not to mention, he had even admitted that there recent times together had been wonderful. For goodness sake, he had been ready to have sex with her! The moment had gotten home, she had went into her bedroom and hopped in the shower to allow the tears to roll down freely. Losing him all over again had really hurt. She couldn't distinguish whether it was the fact that losing him meant she didn't have someone to go to anymore or not. Lately, he'd become her confidant. She went to him with her problems. If she couldn't go to him, who could she go to? Whatever, she thought, it doesn't matter. Crying won't help. Caring won't help. He's made his choice. I hope he's happy.

Chapter VII

Four days had gone by before she had heard from him. She hadn't expected his call and had been upset by the fact that he had called her.

"We're not supposed to talk, remember?" she snapped at him.

He was flustered with his reply. "I know, but you're mother came to see me and-she mentioned something about why you left all those years ago."

She nervously touched her neck, as was her usual habit. "Yes, well. She made me an offer I couldn't refuse. And I wasn't strong enough, then."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"You never would have understood."

"-but maybe. I meant we could've…."

"Don't say it. Don't even think it."

"I can't help myself. I never should have let you let me go. And I don't want to make that mistake again."

"What do you mean, Rufus?" She took a breath inward.

"Where are you?"

"What?"

"Where are you?" he repeated.

"At Cotillion. Why?"

"Meet me outside in ten minutes." With that he hung up, leaving her to ponder.

Should she meet him? Why did he want to meet? What had he meant with that comment about making the same mistake? What would he say when she went to see him? What should she say? So many questions ran through her mind, but all stopped when she looked down and saw Serena and Dan twirling about downstairs. They were so happy and she couldn't help, but allow her thoughts to drift back to when she thought that would be her and Rufus forever.

She stepped outside and looked for him. She had no expectations.

"Lily…."

She hadn't even been able to reply before he had thrust his lips upon hers. Initially, she debated pulling away, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Kissing him simply felt amazing. He placed his hand on her lower back, as she ran her hands up his chest.

Once they broke apart, all she could do was look at him in amazement. They stared at each other in silence. He was trying to gather his thoughts and string together some intelligible sentence. He didn't know what he should say. Well, he knew what to say, but he didn't know quite how to explain how he felt.

After what seemed like ages he spoke, "I don't want to let you go, Lil. Look, before you say anything, just listen to me. I have feelings for you. I don't think I've ever really gotten over you and I don't want to lose you again, Lil."

"What am I supposed to say, Rufus? You're married."

"I know, but-Lily, she isn't you. She's never been you. It was you twenty years ago. It's still you. It's always been you."

"Our children. Serena and Dan are dating."

"So what? Frankly, I had you long before Dan had Serena."

"I don't know, Rufus-"

He cut her off. "Why are you making excuses, Lily? You seemed up for it at Thanksgiving."

"That was-just in the heat of the moment. I got caught up-"

"Bullshit," he replied, catching her bluff.

"Rufus…."

"Lily…" he imitated her.

And she was hooked. She so desperately wanted to run away and never look back, but like a magnet she was drawn to him. She slowly kissed his lips and it immediately burst into passion.

"Lily, I don't know, what we are, what we could be. But aren't you the least bit curious?"

"It's just-You're married, Rufus. Are you telling me that you're going to divorce Allison?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

"Okay…," but then she thought about it, "but Rufus?"

"Mhmmm?"

"If we're going to have a-fling? It has to be between us. I don't need Serena biting my head off."

"Deal," and his mouth broke out into an enormous ear-to-ear grin.

Thoughts welcome! [: