Chapter 4

I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of hot tea, waiting for Ricky to return from John's nursery. Ricky had agreed to come back over immediately, no questions asked. I really don't know why I didn't call Madison or Lauren. I mean they are suppose to be my best friends, but things haven't been the same with us since I had found out I was pregnant last year. Plus, I knew if I told them what happened it would be all over school Monday. I couldn't tell my mom or dad, that would be awkward and I didn't want to tell Ashley because she'd probably just end up making some snide remark. I knew Ricky would listen and not pass judgement, he'd sit and listen and then probably go on his merry way and that's exactly what I needed right now.

"I got him to go back to sleep." Ricky said, walking into the kitchen. Snapping me out of my wandering thoughts.

I gave him an apologetic smile. "If I knew he was taking a nap I wouldn't have called." I replied, feeling guilty. He shook his head and sat down in the chair next to me.

"It's okay. You sounded pretty upset when you called, what happened?" He asked, making me sigh.

"I shouldn't have called you, I have two friends that I could have called. You don't need to here about my problems." I responded, taking a drink of my tea.

"I didn't just drive ten minutes to hear you tell me you made a mistake by calling me. So tell me what's wrong." He replied, looking at me seriously.

I took a deep breath and decided to tell him. "I had sex with Ben." I blurted out. I stole a sideways glace at Ricky and saw him sitting there looking dumbfounded.

"You had sex with Ben? Then why did you call me sobbing? Shouldn't you have called Ben?" He questioned, confused.

I shook my head and sighed annoyed. "Ben came over after you left to break up with me, because he wanted sex and I didn't. And he couldn't get over the fact that I had slept with you. I didn't want us to break up, so I slept with him. I am so stupid." I cried out, putting my face into my hands.

Ricky's hand stroked the back of my hair soothingly. "You aren't stupid, Amy." He whispered into my ear. I looked up with bloodshot eyes.

"Yes, I am. I had sex with him so he wouldn't break up with me, and when it was over he got dressed and left. And I felt nothing! I shouldn't have to sleep with him to keep him. He said he'd wait, but he was lying the whole time." I said, getting angry with myself. "I'm no better than Adrian." I added hotly.

"Hey, look at me." He demanded. I turned to face him sheepishly. "You are not Adrian! Your not even close, and you never will be. I'm going to kill him" He said, slamming his fist down onto the table, making me jump.

"Ricky, please don't go after him. This is my problem, I'll deal with him later." I said, trying to calm him down.

"How? How are you going to deal with him?" He asked, enraged.

"I'm going to break up with him." I replied, looking back down at the table.

"Why didn't you just let him break up with you in the first place?" He asked, still angry. I gulped and blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I don't know!" I yelled out, embarrassed. "I guess confiding in you was a mistake." I continued, absentmindedly biting my nails nervously.

"No, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me. I just really want to punch that kid." Ricky stated, running his fingers through his hair as he paced back and forth.

xxxx

Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months; two months to be exact. And I was still with Ben, much to Ricky's dismay. I just couldn't bring myself to break-up with him. Yes, the sex thing didn't work out for us, but I still had feelings for him.

I put my history book into my backpack before slamming my locker shut. I kissed Ben and told him I'd see him later, before walking out of the school. I clutched the straps of my backpack nervously as I walked into the store. I looked around the store quickly before picking up the box. I quickly paid and made my way back to my house.

I walked into the eerily quiet house, thanking god no one was home yet. I walked into the bathroom and took the box out of the plastic bag, taking a deep breath I opened the box.

Three minutes later and I stared at the stick, so nervous I could puke. I closed my eyes and flipped the stick over. Please be negative. I prayed silently. I slowly opened my eyes and hesitantly looked at the stick.

A pink plus sign stared back at me. I threw the stick back in the box with disgust, anger, sadness, regret, and shame.

"Amy, are you home?" My mother yelled into the house. I quickly hid the box and left the bathroom with a fake smile.

"Hi, mom. Thanks for picking John up." I said as nicely as I could, taking John from her. She looked at me with curiosity.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." I lied, looking down at John.

What the hell did I do?

I have a BIG announcement for those of you who read The Cabin. To see what it is go back to the story and I'll have the announcement there! =]

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