Chapter 5-Shoulder Bumps and Almost Kisses

'What the hell did I do? What the hell was I thinking? My parent's are going to kill me! I can't do this again. I'm only sixteen, and I just had a baby; who by the way isn't even a year yet. God, your such a slut, Amy.' I thought to myself in disgust. I didn't know how I was going to tell Ben, and I didn't know how I was going to go to school again. I thought going to school was hell last year; well I knew for a fact it would be even worse this time, they would most definitely crucify me. I was going to have two kids with two different fathers. I think the better scenario would be for it to have just been Ricky's kid again, that way the baby was from the same father. But, this....This was a complete disaster, every girls worst nightmare! And now it was my reality.

I already knew adoption and abortion were out, seeing as how I didn't do either with John. I was going to have, and keep him, or her. But, I was sure my parent's would try and push adoption on me again, no doubt.

There wasn't enough room in the house for another baby, and I didn't want to move out. I knew that Ben would want me to move in with him, but I honestly didn't want that. I hadn't really been looking at Ben the same way ever since we... Well you know. And in-spite of that I wouldn't break up with him, and I honestly didn't know what was stopping me. Maybe my subconsciousknew and that's why I never ended it. That sounds crazy I know, believe me I know.

It's been a week since I took the test, and I haven't told anybody. Who could I tell? I told Madison and Lauren last year, and they told the whole damn school. I've thought about telling Ricky, but I was too afraid as to what he might say or do. I wasn't going to tell Ashley, even though I told her first last time. But, we haven't been so close these past couple of months and I honestly don't think I can trust her right now. I wasn't going to tell my parents until I absolutely had too. I guess it would be logical to tell Ben, but I was honestly scared. I was afraid to tell anybody, because that would just make it all the more real.

xxxx

There was a knock at my door, startling me. I was currently eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's and watching Sixteen Candles, trying to get my mind off the whole me being pregnant. I set the ice cream container on the living room table and made my way to the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked the visitor, curiously.

"I didn't see you at school. Is there something wrong with John?" He inquired, worried.

"John's fine, he's at the nursery. I stayed home because I haven't been feeling well." I replied, walking back into the living room. Well, I didn't lie, I really didn't feel good. You know, morning sickness and all.

"Yeah, I've noticed that. Do you want me to take John until your feeling better?" Ricky asked, hesitantly,

"No, he's fine. He can't catch what I have." I responded with out thinking. Ricky looked at me with a questioning eyes.

"What?" He aked again. I shook my head.

"Nothing." I replied quickly, hoping he wouldn't ask again.

"What does that mean, "He can't catch what I have."." He tried again.

I searched for an answer but couldn't come up with anything believable, so I decided to just tell him the truth.

"He can't catch morning sickness." I replied with a defeated sigh.

"Morning sickness? Why the hell would you have morning......Oh, Amy, please tell me your joking." He pleaded, sitting down next to me.

"I wish I was. Believe me, I really wish I was." I responded, hanging my head in shame.

"When did you find out?" He asked in a hushed whisper.

"Last week. What am I going to do, Ricky?" I cried.

"I don't know. I don't know, Amy. How did you even get yourself in this situation again? You're smarter than this. Did you tell Ben?" He threw the questions at me quickly, making my head spin.

"I don't know, alright." I yelled at him. "No, you're the first person I've told." I added with a deep breath.

"I'm the first person you've told?" He asked, sounding shocked. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to tell you, it just slipped." I said, biting my fingernails nervously.

"Don't do that." He said, taking my finger away from my mouth. "That's a disgusting habit." He added, looking at me seriously.

"Sorry, Dad." I replied sarcastically. Ricky rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Your welcome." He said, still laughing.

I joined him in his laughing session. We slowly stopped laughing, the room going comfortably silent. Ricky looked at me, his signature smirk gone, replaced by a boyish cute smile. I gulped as he slowly leaned closer to me, my heartbeat beating me senselessly. His lips slowly came closer, he stopped when his lips where only centimeters from mine. I started to close the tiny gap, our lips just brushing.

"Amy, you home?" I heard a male voice ask. I jumped and stood up, putting as much distance between Ricky and I as I could manage. "There you are..." Ben said making his way into the living room. He stopped when he saw Ricky sitting on the couch, his hands balled into fists at his side. I threw him a look, hoping to god he wouldn't say anything to him. "Hello, Ricky/ What are you doing here?". He asked his eyes darting between Ricky and I suspiciously.

"I was just leaving." Ricky replied through clenched teeth. As he made his way past Ben he purposely slammed his shoulder into Ben's. Making Ben stumble backwards, looking scared.

Once the door slammed shut Ben turned and looked at me. "What's his problem?"

My eyes darted back and forth across the room trying to find an answer. "Um,........"