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Chapter 2: Reincarnated

During Tara's torment, Jacob never left her side, although his pack tried to persuade him.

"So are you a house pet now? The great Jacob Black is domesticated," his cousin Quil goaded. Sam, the leader of the other Quileute wolf pack, never came to visit. Truly, only Quil supported him.

He pushed Quil away, feeling responsible for Tara and for what had been done to her. During his time with her in the cabin he had questioned his motives a hundred times.

He had been watching Tara for months at Bella's request. In that time, he had come to care for her so deeply that it surprised him. All that Bella would tell him was that Tara was special and she would be a big part of their future. Maybe we shouldn't have interfered in her life, he thought, stroking her cheek as the fire raged within her. I wish we could have spent some more time together before you had to go through this pain.

On the third day, a welcome guest visited the cabin.

"She is close, I can hear her heart," Carlisle said after he had finished the examination, his sculpted youthful features belied by the wisdom of his golden eyes. Tara moaned softly and Carlisle stroked her brow gently. "It has been two centuries since I suffered in that fire yet I will never forget the burning," he said compassionately.

"Thank you for coming Carlisle," Jacob said. "I was getting worried. I didn't think that Bella wanted to talk to anyone about this yet." Jacob's relief was overwhelming. His experience with newborn vampires was virtually non-existent.

Carlisle placed a cold hand on Tara's feverish head. "It won't be long now. I can stay, if you like."

Jacob let out a long breath. "Yeah, that would be cool. Maybe we can open a window though, there's the small issue of your stench. This place isn't that big." Jacob could sense that Carlisle saw through his bravado.

"Try to breathe through your mouth…I mean more than usual," Carlisle said, making Jacob laugh out loud.

"Did a 200-year-old guy just bust on me? OK, if you can stand my stink, I'll stand yours. I've never done this before anyway." Jacob's eyes looked humble. "I'm not really even sure why Bella trusted me to be here."

Tara had stilled and Jacob's eyes roamed her body. He had been at her side for so long that he had barely noted the gradual changes she had undergone. Her clothing was shredded where she had ripped it in her torment. He just wanted this to be over and for her to be well. He had been waiting so long to talk to her.

Carlisle put a gentle hand on Jacob's arm. "Bella told me that she told you about Alice's vision of Tara. She saw that Tara will be a very unique vampire. Alice isn't infallible. We try not to count too much on the future she sees. You know the future can change," he warned.

Jacob tossed his ebony hair back defiantly. "You're telling me." His eyes sparked. "I've had my future ripped from me twice. No one knows better than me." The anger seemed to drain out of him. "I've had to watch people's lives move on without me. I watched Nessie grow up and move on. Hell, I thought you were going to be my great-grandfather-in-law or whatever."

Jacob felt the bitterness well up in him like acid in his mouth. Christ, I'm can't believe I'm baring my soul to a vampire, even if he is my second-favorite leech.

"Jacob, none of us can know what will come, but ever since I have known you, you have always been true to yourself. I envy the purity of your soul and the beauty that is in you. No one could ask for a better friend."

The kind words were not a balm.

"Friend," Jacob said bitterly. "Yeah, everyone's best friend." The silence that followed this statement was interrupted by a voice that was new, yet familiar.

"I'm thirsty."

Jacob froze. The thoughts racing through his mind were almost fearful, and he remained poised between the anxiety and the wanting. He was in the moment of hesitation before you open a gift or check under your bed for the monster you fear is lurking. At the sight of Carlisle's thunderstruck face, terror overwhelmed him.

"Extraordinary!" Carlisle exclaimed with the air of someone who had not been surprised in a long time.

Jacob spun around and his vision exploded as a flush of heat pulsed throughout his body and his heart pounded in his chest. Tara sat on the bed, the clothes she had worn on her pyre hung shredded and loose on her petite frame.

"I'm thirsty," she repeated.

---

As both men stared at her, Tara laughed out loud, wrapping her arms around herself to keep the tatters of fabric around her body. She laughed again, enjoying the musical sound.

"If you think this is extraordinary, imagine how I feel," she exulted, hugging herself in a child-like gesture. She rejoiced in the power and energy, the health, of her body. Her eyes revealed treasures of wonders, layers on layers of light and texture. A small fire was burning and the motes of dust in the firelight arranged in a pattern of divine intricacy, the flames themselves floating streams of greens and oranges, blues and reds in a tapestry woven for her pleasure.

She turned to Carlisle, cocking her head as she stared at him. Tara had never seen a man so polished and perfect. His white skin contrasted with his golden eyes and golden hair. His face was flawless youthful perfection. She couldn't restrain herself.

"I'm Tara and you are beautiful," she said, by way of introduction. Carlisle smiled at her encouragingly.

Jacob stepped forward, his face concerned.

"This is Carlisle, he's Bella's father-in-law. He's going to check you out, okay?" Jacob said gently, his eyes never leaving her face. Jacob looked stricken, terrified. Tara tried to hold herself very still, realizing that Jacob was afraid of her.

Jacob's voice was so familiar and beloved to Tara. In fact, the most amazing thing in Tara's new world was Jacob. She could hardly look away from his face. It was the face she had seen beside her in the fire, but infinitely more precious. The planes of his strong handsome face were worked with symmetry that she felt only her eyes were able appreciate.

"You didn't leave me," she whispered, sliding her hand into his, shocking herself with the intimacy of the gesture. Jacob closed his hand on hers gently.

When her eyes met Jacob's he froze, and she felt she could look directly into his soul. She had a sense of belonging that she had never had before, of a connection that completed beginnings she never knew existed. Is it always like this? Tara wondered. Jacob seemed dazed.

"What is so extraordinary," said Carlisle, moving to her side and tilting her head back, "is you."

Tara looked up into his golden eyes, not even thinking about distrusting this man. She kept her hand in Jacob's.

"You are like me," she said to Carlisle, sure that he was a vampire like Bella.

"It would seem that we are not so much alike," mused Carlisle aloud, his eyes running over her. "I'll need further study."

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked.

"Well, use your eyes, young Jacob. Or are you so dazzled?" Carlisle asked with a small smile.

Tara realized that Carlisle was talking about her and her cheeks stained pink. Jacob reacted as if electrified.

"She just blushed!" he exclaimed. Carlisle nodded encouragingly, waiting patiently for Jacob's next brilliant observation.

"Her eyes!"

Tara covered her eyes, embarrassed.

She felt that both men were looking at her like she was the pearl in the oyster, the diamond in the mine, the winning lottery ticket – she shook her head, I seem to have an extremely powerful brain now and all I am accomplishing is turning out three bad metaphors in the time it used to take me to think up one. Tara never liked to be looked at; she wanted to distract them.

"I feel…thirsty," she announced, realizing suddenly that it was true. The pull of her thirst seemed to draw her towards Jacob.

She thought about standing and realized that her clothes would not withstand any movement without falling in rags on the floor. "I'd also really like some new clothes, um, and a mirror."

Jacob looked around helplessly, his own wardrobe was pitiably limited and vastly too large in size.

"I uh, I didn't think. I don't have anything for you to wear or eat, I mean, drink. I'll go out and get something," Jacob stammered, wringing his enormous hands comically.

"Here," said Carlisle, handing her a bag. "My daughter thought you might need these. Jacob let's step outside and give Tara some privacy."

After the men had gone, Tara looked curiously into the bag. The first thing her hand touched was a cream colored, long-sleeved shirt of the finest cotton. She rubbed it against her cheek, feeling the downy wisp of the fabric. The cotton smelled like fruit warming in the sun. She slid out of her old clothes, marveling at their condition and how coarse they looked and felt. In a flash she was draped in the silken cotton and matching flowing pants, the fabric clung gently to her skin like a caress. She slipped her feet into soft-soled shoes. Rummaging in the bag, she pulled out a mirror with a cry of joy. ,

Tara cradled the mirror, hesitating and full of doubt. Bella had said that the beauty within would be revealed. Well, what if there was no beauty in there to show? Even if it was there once, what if the world took it and crushed it?

Tara closed her eyes and held the mirror before her face. Steeling her will, she forced her eyelids open. At first she could not look away from her eyes, and a bolt of disappointment shot through her. They are the same, she thought. Exactly the same. Not that my eyes weren't my favorite feature. Fringed in long dark lashes, the green and gold depths seemed to shimmer and morph in the flickering firelight. When Tara pulled her gaze from her eyes, she saw that she was indeed changed.

The firelight revealed the curve of a face she remembered from pictures of summer youth and joy, those moments of unconscious laughter caught on film. Her cheekbones were high and curving, her nose straight and slim and the mouth underneath was full and pale pink. Was it a trick of the firelight? She held out her hand, noticing that her skin was slightly golden. Are we all so different, then? She thought. Perhaps Carlisle and Bella are family; they look so much alike with their marble skin and those eyes. She peeked down her shirt and blushed again. Her new body was rippling with muscles. She pressed fingers to her lips, and felt their coolness, yet their firmness yielded slightly to her touch.

Carlisle and Jacob found Tara like that, curled in front of the fire with the mirror.

"Girls," said Jacob in mock annoyance. "Always primping when it is time to eat."

In embarrassment, Tara leapt to her feet, swaying unsteadily in surprise at the speed of her motion. Jacob was quickly at her side, his large hands reaching to steady her.

"Hey, you are soft," he announced in surprise, his hands unconsciously slipping off of her waist and lower to investigate further. In a flash, her hand clamped his in a steely grip.

"I wouldn't do that," she said, even though she was surprised to find she really did not mind Jacob's touch, she was concerned at how her sensations of thirst seemed to increase at his proximity.

"Whoa, sorry. You are just a little unexpected." He leaned closer, burying his nose in her dark hair.

"Hey, you smell great. This is fantastic. Now you smell me," he said, throwing back his hair and revealing the strong column of his neck to her.

"Jacob," Carlisle warned sharply. "This is unbelievably reckless."

Before Tara knew what he was doing, Carlisle had pinned her hands behind her back. Even though she felt she could easily break free, Tara did not struggle. She was mesmerized by the sight of the pulse in Jacob's throat.

"It's OK," she said, not really sure who she was reassuring.

With her hands still pulled behind her, she leaned forward to press her face against Jacob's silken skin as he leaned towards her. She rested her cool cheek against his collarbone. For a fleeting moment she had the urge to open her mouth and lick the hot skin, but she resisted. She took a deep breath and pulled back.

"So, what do you think? Let me guess, the perfume of the day is Eau De Wet Dog, right?" Jacob asked, his tone deliberately casual.

Tara shook her head, thinking, No dog I've ever met smelled like that. The scent was musky and warm, and decidedly pleasant. Jacob looked at her expectantly.

"No. Not doggy," she said mildly, eyes wide.

Jacob took a step back, looking bewildered.

"So what is going on here Carlisle? I saw her suffer for the last three days. Did this thing not take? Did Bella mess it up?"

Carlisle released Tara, but she leaned against him for support. Her mind was an explosion of mourning.

Of course, of course. Of course I'm not right, of course I don't fit in. Something's wrong. Wrong with me. I'm alone. I'm other. In the maelstrom of the swirling thoughts, she heard the static rising in her ears. She crumpled to the floor as Carlisle stood beside her, helpless. The distracting, isolating static sound she had heard constantly as a human came back in a rush, more powerful than ever before. It drowned out the cracking fire and threatened to split her in two.

Jacob knelt down in front of her, holding both of her hands.

"Tara. Tara, focus," he said. "Come back to me."

She looked into his brown eyes, so full of caring, and the static ebbed and clarified and then receded until the chorus became one note, the babble a single phrase. The voice in her head was one she recognized. It said, "I am alone too."

"I heard it," she whispered, reaching out to place her tiny cool hand on Jacob's cheek. "I heard it."

"Heard what?" he asked desperately.

"I heard you Jacob. It's alright; you don't have to be alone. I'm here now."