Author's Note:
Thank You to Everyone who has reviewed, etcetera, it means a lot to me. I hope that you all like my story so far, I had no clue when I started as to how this would be received. This story is my 'baby,' it means a lot to me. Also, just so you all know, some aspects of this story are true. Not a lot, and most of the similarities are very subtle (between my actual life and this story) but they are there, nonetheless. For example, the summary is kind of true, but in a very small way. I did have a guy friend I'd known since birth practically, and then in the fifth grade he moved to a different part of the area, and we mostly lost touch, but it wasn't a heartbreak or anything. We still see each other once in a while. And the short kid, Steve, is a real kid, and his behavior is the same. He is actually—pardon my French—a dickwad, in real life. Anyways, on with the story!
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Check out All My Life, Gifted, and The Lost Daughter of Russia, by flutetenorsaxplayer2008.
Also, go and read All This Green! By teamedwardc101
It's really good!
Prologue
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream,
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way,
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
Tonight. –Linkin Park
Chapter Thirteen: Breaking the Habit
Edward's Point of View
When I woke up the next morning, I felt an odd pain.
Oh yeah. That would be my broken heart. I sighed, forcing myself to get out of the warm bed. Today is a new day. Time to forget last night, forget Bella, just go back to being a part of the in-crowd. You don't belong with them.
Well, that's what my mind kept trying to tell my heart over and over again. To bad my heart was too shattered to hear anything but the emptiness and despair I felt welling up inside me.
I gulped nervously, swallowing my emotions painfully as I pulled a sweatshirt over my head. I had no clue as to what I was going to do now; hell, it was all I could do to not think of Bella.
I needed some release. Now. And although I really had tried to not do this, I felt I was going to have to.
Taking a deep breath or two, I knocked three times on Jasper's bedroom door. I heard a voice say groggily, "I'm coming! I'm coming! Sheesh!" Then, the door swung open. He looked at me, surprised, before ushering me into his room and closing the door.
"What is it?" he asked me suspiciously. I never really went to him, hell, I tried not to talk to him, so this must have seemed extremely strange that I was standing there, asking for something.
"I—I need help." I whispered desperately. I couldn't say much more than that. Immediately, he understood. "Get a girl, go to football tryouts. You have loads of homework you probably still need to finish, and your guitar and piano lessons have been changed to today and tomorrow, which means you'll have to practice right when you come home from school." I nodded, confused.
Crap! I have lessons this week?! And homework?! I'm absolutely screwed.
He smiled, catching my look, before shoving me out the door. "Oh! You better run to school right now! You're going to be really late!" He shouted after me as I pounded down the stairs and out the door.
I was a mess.
Jasper had been right; I got three demerits and two detentions for this week and next week for lack of effort and homework completion, and I got yet another detention for missing my first period because I ran to school. When I had arrived, Jasper's car was already in the parking lot. That son of a bitch! I swore mentally. He lied to me! If I hadn't run to school, I wouldn't have been at all late!
Oh well.
Later on that day, many girls approached me. Remembering what Jasper had so wisely told me to do, I chose a girl randomly and said yes. She ended up pulling me into the janitor's closet, and by lunchtime, we were a thing.
The funny thing was, I did not even know her name.
Bella's Point of View
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE—I groaned, slamming the off button on my beat up alarm clock. It was after I had also roughly slammed my whole wrist into it as well that I suddenly remembered what exactly had taken place last night.
"Fuck!" I yelled out, cursing as I shook my wrists. They felt as if they were lit on fire. Shut up, Bella, it's your own fault you decided to cut your wrists. I reminded myself. I dressed quickly in a blue and black plaid hoodie and some red acid-wash jeans before heading out. Emmett, being the sweet, caring big brother that he is, had left already, and I was very late. I had already missed first period.
Damn, I thought to myself as I burst through the main office doors. The secretary gave me a disapproving look, before motioning for me to come over and receive my punishment. I groaned loudly as she handed me a demerit and detention slip at the same time. I looked at them.
At least you don't have to get these ones signed by parents or anything, I thought to myself as I scrambled to my next class.
If I thought the day could not get any worse, I was seriously wrong. On the way to my second class, I tripped over my shoelaces and fell flat on my face, making me late for my class. Then I realized that I had forgotten to complete the simple homework assignments I had been given by each of my teachers.
And on top of that, I had to watch as Edward started making out with some random slut as she pulled him towards the janitor's closet.
The poor janitor, I thought to myself, shaking my head. How many kids had he stumbled upon doing not-so-decent things? It must suck to be him.
When I got to history, my last class before lunch, I got my poetry notebook taken away from me, and the teacher read a passage out loud to the class. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as my privacy was taken away. I felt as if he had taken my clothes. Then, to make things even worse, he didn't give it back to me, telling me that it was his now, until he decided otherwise.
I gritted my teeth, glaring at him throughout the class. When the bell finally rang, I jumped up from my uncomfortable seat, about to rip the man in two, when he said, "Ms. Swan, I would like to have a word with you." I sighed, walking up to Mr. Tanner's desk.
"Isabella," he started, and I mumbled instinctively, "Bella," before letting him continue. "Bella, now, I understand that this notebook, diary, whatever it is, belongs to you?" I nodded, and he held it out to me. But when I reached out to retrieve it, he pulled it back right as my fingers brushed it's spine.
"This is not material for my class, Isabella, now, is it?" So he was going to humiliate me? Okay, fine.
Now, normally, teachers are the only people I never mess with. But when they think that they can humiliate me or make me cry in front of people, even in private, I get mad.
And when I get mad, I get defiant. "No, Mr. Tanner, it is not." I said, straightening up and crossing my arms in front of my chest in a sign of disobedience.
Then, smirking, I took his coffee mug into my own hands, and said, "But neither, I presume, is this, however, you don't see me taking it and telling you that it is now mine," he turned an unsightly shade of red. His nostrils flared. But the fact that I was getting under his skin only egged me on, encouraged and emboldened me further.
"Miss Swan, this is inappropriate behavior, you are not the authority figure here. And I have a right to confiscate things that are not for my class if they are present in the room. Bad move. Already, I was pulling my backpack up, balancing it on my knee.
"Isabella, what on earth do you think you—" His eyes widened, and he was suddenly at a loss for words as he stared, horrified, at the slender objects in my hand. I thrust them on top of the desk. "So, Mr. Tanner, I presume that tampons, seeing as they are not materials for you class, are not acceptable, and must be confiscated immediately as well?" I said triumphantly. He shut his gaping mouth, and threw my poetry book at me. "You are dismissed," he gasped. I smirked once more, before turning and leaving, deciding that he could keep the tampons. "M-Miss Swan, you forgot, um…" I turned, and, smiling angelically, said, "Oh, you can keep them. You'll probably need them later anyways."
With that, I made my way to lunch, leaving a very pale teacher in my wake.
Edward's Point of View
When I finally got up the courage to even look her way, Bella's way, I bit back a gasp.
She looked strange. Not bad, or ugly, or anything, but her whole appearance, her posture, was off. Her hoodie was shaped weirdly around something at her wrists, but I brushed it off uneasily. She wouldn't have done something like that. They were probably just bracelets. Yeah. Bangles, or whatever they call those things. Also, she looked really small. I mean, she was very petite, barely five foot two, but she was slumped, weary and vulnerable looking. Fragile, almost. I grimaced, and started to think about it more, when all of a sudden, I was pulled roughly into a makeout session with the same random girl.
I still didn't even know the girl's name. But that wasn't even the worst part; I could not care less about what her name was right about now. She held none of my interest. I mean, it wasn't like she was hideous, or absolutely repulsive, as Lauren had been, but I just didn't care about her. She wasn't, as Jasper would probably say, my preferred object of interest. He looked at girls like they were toys. And went through them the exact same way. But the ironic part was that no matter how many girls had come and gone with him, he always had the time and energy to criticize me about it.
Funny how things work out, huh? Oh, well, Jasper would be Jasper, there really wasn't anything that anyone could do about him and his way with girls.
When the bell sounded, causing the majority of the student body that was present in the cafeteria to groan loudly, I stood up swiftly, thankful for an escape from the grips of this girl.
But I should have known from my short thing with Lauren, that I was so, so wrong. This girl attacked me anyways, and when I struggled to break the kiss, trying to use the excuse of, "I'm really sorry, but I need to get to my class now," she merely laughed, and grabbed my sweatshirt, saying, "We got five minutes." Before pulling me into a closet.
Needless to say, that relationship ended as quickly as it had started. By the time biology came around, I was with this girl named Paige, a blonde-haired, long-legged beauty, who actually knew who Kurt Cobain was.
I might actually be able to go out with this girl! I thought to myself as I took my seat awkwardly next to the very person I had been trying to avoid all day. I heard her breathe an irritated sigh, and then, Paige was there.
"Excuse me Bella, but you need to move," Paige said roughly. Wait, what? She knew Bella? And what was with the tone of her voice? I mean, she sounded quite harsh and biting, but her voice had a tender undertone to it as she spoke to Bella.
Bella looked up, jaw slackened, as she gazed in wonder at the beautiful girl who was currently standing beside her and I.
"P-Paige?" she whispered, her eyes glistening. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought they were tears of happiness, but I, in fact, did know better, and these tears that filled Bella Swan's beautiful chocolate eyes were not tears of joy, they were tears of despair. But why? I mean, Paige seemed ecstatic to see her.
"But, I thought—" Paige interrupted whatever Bella was about to say.
"Nope! Izz, I'm here with you!" she squealed, clapping her hands together joyfully. Paige ran around the desk/table, to give Bella a hug; Bella, however, was not all that excited about this. She returned her enthusiasm with a half-hearted smile.
"Oh, Izzy, why are you crying?" Paige asked, pulling away to give Bella the infamous once-over. Bella's eyes widened, mesmerizing me for a moment, before she answered quickly, "Oh, um, it's nothing, I—I'm merely crying tears of…joy."
She was lying. A fool could see that she was lying. And so could Paige. But she ignored it, and fired away questions and monologues at Bella. It wasn't until I heard my own name that I snapped out of my thoughts, and decided that maybe I should pay attention.
"So, Bella, I see you have become acquainted with my Edward?" she wrapped her arms possessively around my waist. I fought back the desire to wrench myself from this girl's vice-like grip, and smiled an extremely forced smile. "Oh, so he's yours?" Bella said, raising her eyebrows and smirking. I shook my head, eyes widened, warning her to not say a word. Paige seemed pretty genuine, I didn't want to lose her because of something that had happened in the past…okay, okay, last night, but still.
"Yeah, Bella, you are so behind, as always, haven't you like heard, me and Edward are like a thing now." I almost laughed as both Bella and I corrected her under our breaths, saying, "Edward and I," apparently Paige was not exactly keen on grammar skills. Oh, well. Maybe she was just having an off day or something. I really hope so.
"Um, do you guys know each other or something?" I blurted out by accident. Shit. I hadn't actually meant to say that out loud or anything. Why must I always speak my mind?
Paige stepped back, away from Bella, and much, much closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist again, smiling. Bella smiled back, but the smile kind of scared me. It was genuine. Too genuine. So much so that it had the exact opposite effect. And I knew that smile. It was the smile she had used when we were really little; that smile was the smile that said, 'Back off, bitch, or I am going to kick your ass into next year.' My mind took me back to the very first time I had learned that look…
Flashback:
"Hey! That's my medal, and you know it, Edward!" Bella complained, stomping one foot on the ground. I rolled my little five-year-old eyes, and said, "Obviously, I won the race, so, it is my medal," I smirked insolently at a very adorable five year old Bella. All of a sudden, the furious, stormy look on hr face disappeared, and she smiled a Cheshire grin that was too wide, too, real looking, to actually be real.
I gulped, clutching the plastic object that had effectively started the argument to my chest, and took a cautious step back.
"Edward, give me the medal!" Bella sang sweetly. Feeling bold, I shook my head, gave her one last smirk, and said, "Never,"
Then, she pounced. Growling, her features twisted into a cat-like expression. Her teeth were bared as she lunged at me.
She won the medal, as well as the satisfaction of damaging some other—jewels—if you know what I mean.
End of Flashback
I grimaced, remembering the pain vividly. Then, realizing what might happen if someone failed to intervene, I snapped out of the foggy memory, giving Bella a look that I hope gave her a warning. 'Not here,' I mouthed to her when Paige could not see.
Bella seemed to understand. If she destroyed Paige here and now, she would get into a lot of trouble, and Paige didn't seem like the kind of person to forgive and forget. What could easily be brushed off and determined a minor catfight, could also just as easily be turned into a lawsuit with the snap of a finger.
Bella straightened up and then Paige began to talk again. "Yeah, I mean, we totally hit it off, Bella, it was amazing." Bella laughed and nodded. I gulped nervously, hoping Paige failed to hear the obvious mocking undertone to Bella's laugh and body language.
"So, I see you have snagged another trophy, Paige," Bella said. What? Trophy? Is that what I was to her? Ouch. Oh, well. Maybe Bella was just trying to joke around with her. Yeah, Edward, that was exactly the type of thing a girl would joke about, especially right in front of you, I thought to myself.
"Bella! Be nice! He's my boyfriend, remember. And besides, Edward could never be a trophy. He would be a masterpiece, a statue, carved by the gods." Wow, um, was that a compliment? I'm not exactly sure. Or maybe it was meant to make Bella think that she was actually smart.
Paige is smart, idiot! I yelled at myself. But even as Paige defended herself, I caught her smile falter the tiniest bit. So Bella's comment had merit. That's great. Shit.
"I heard that you, little miss prude, finally got a guy! That's great! It's about time! I remember when I made out with Damien in the eighth grade, he was the guy to be with last year, remember?" Bella was shaking now. Why was Paige doing this? It was obviously bothering Bella.
Thankfully, the bell rang, and the teacher walked in, telling Paige to sit down and stop flirting. I felt the need to comfort Bella, and reached for her hand, but she moved away as soon as she saw me move even an inch towards her.
All of a sudden, a slightly crumpled, ripped piece of scrap paper slid right in front of my face.
I opened the rolled up note, and what I saw there, in her handwriting, two simple words. Two blunt, clear words.
Fuck. You.
Well, isn't that nice? Well, if you want to be that way, two can play at that game, hun. I wrote out a response, and tossed it carelessly onto her open notebook.
Bitch. Was all I had written. But it seemed to work pretty effectively. For the rest of the entire class, Bella would not look a centimeter in my direction. And no more notes came my way. Bored out of my mind at the lecture on something I had already learned about, I took out my phone and decided to text Paige, so I could possibly learn more about her.
(A/N: Underlined is Paige's, italics is Edward's)
E: So, what sort of music are you into, exactly?
P: Lots.
E: Elaborate, please.
P: Haha, kay, um, wat does eloboraite mean?
E:…
Oh. My. God. Bella snorted, obviously reading my texts. I glared at her, and texted Paige back. How could she have gotten into high school and not know what elaborate means was beyond me. But I decided to let it go.
E: Never mind. Just tell me what sorts of music you like: bands, genres, musicians, styles, just—music.
P: Oh, haha, ok, um, I like pop, rap, um, the Cobain genre, yeah. : P
Seriously? The Cobain genre? I thought she actually knew music? Crap. She was lying about that. Maybe she liked poetry.
E: So, poetry?
P: Haha, jk, wat?
Okay, um jk? What's the joke here? Did I miss something? I sighed.
E: You know, Edgar Allen Poe, indie poetry?
P: Isn't indie a tribe?
E: I have to go, Paige. Sorry, I just can't talk right now.
And I am going to dump you on your little blonde ass once school gets out. How could I have honestly been so blind? She was clearly not the girl I had thought she was, if I had bothered to talk to her for five seconds before saying yes to going out with her, I would have known that.
Finally, after what seemed like a millennium, the bell rang. Students were suddenly awake, excited to be liberated from this hellhole they all call school.
But, for once in my sorry life, I was dreading this a little. The whole "You are dumping me?" and the cry me a river thing that what sure to come in the very near future. That part of breaking up absolutely drove me insane.
In no rush whatsoever to get out of the room and face Paige, I stretched my arms and legs in my seat. My fingers accidentally brushed against Bella's thigh, and she jumped probably ten feet into the air, dropping her things. Mumbling a quick, probably incoherent apology, I tried to help her gather up her things again. As soon as she had grabbed most of her stuff, save a few pens, she pushed past me, almost in a weak manner, leaving hurriedly. Sighing, I realized that I could no longer delay the inevitable, so it was no use to get into any more trouble by receiving yet another invitation to detention, so I turned to leave. But as I did so, something on the floor caught my eye.
A notebook. Curious, I picked it up, and was about to call after Bella that she had missed something, when I realized that she was gone. Feeling stupid, I examined the front and back cover of the small book. They were decorated with all sorts of doodles and such, and it said in simple, tiny handwriting, Poetry, on the front of it, right in the top, right-hand corner.
I sighed. Oh, well. Hm, that was becoming my favorite thing to say nowadays. I thought about it as I walked out of the classroom. Oh, well. That seemed to be my motto. I laughed humorlessly as I opened my locker and got ready to leave for home.
It could be my philosophy. Oh, well. My excuse for everything these days.
I finally finished packing, and then looked at my watch. Wow, time had gone by really quickly. Already, football tryouts, as well as other things, were starting up. SHIT! Football tryouts! I smacked my forehead, remembering what Jasper had told me this morning. I groaned. I guess Paige would just have to wait until tomorrow morning. I don't think she'll mind another couple of hours as my girlfriend, though. I sprinted into the locker rooms, dressing for tryouts.
Author's Note:
Wow! That was the longest chapter I have ever written in my entire life! I think that deserves some sort of recognition! (Cough, reviews, cough) So, did you like it? Or was it too repetitive? I hope it wasn't a total bust. Edward seems to be getting over Bella, huh? Well, sort of, not really, but anyways, review!! Tell me if you liked it, or hated it, I do actually read all of them! Also, I am starting, as you probably could see, an advertisement section in my author's notes at the beginning, and the end, as well, of each chapter! Read the stories! They are all really good; I wouldn't advertise them if they were not. I hope you all liked this one!
ADVERTISEMENTS
Read All My Life, Gifted, and The Lost Daughter of Russia, by flutetenorsaxplayer2008, I love them! They are all really creative!
Also, be sure to check out All This Green, by teamedwardc101, which can be found on my profile, I believe! It is a really great story!