Author's Note:
Guys?? Hello? Knock knock! Wow, I got next to nothing for the last two chapters! That's alright, though, I am too excited to keep from updating. So here is the next chapter! Also, I apologize to .Anthony for the screwed up name in my advertisements! I am so sorry! I was reading it over, and I almost had a heart attack. I feel bad about that, but I fixed it, so from this chapter on, you name is correct. Sorry!!
Disclaimer: Well, um, heheh, I believe this is another oops on my part, I own nothing! I am going to just use this one for the rest of my story, so don't hate me, disclaimer police!
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All My Life, Gifted, and The Lost Daughters of Russia, by flutetenorsaxplayer2008.
All This Green!, by teamedwardc101
Soccer With Her, by .Anthony (sorry bout the mistake!)
I don't need a savior! By RobDaZzLes
They are all really good!
Prologue
Sometimes I give myself the creeps, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, it all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up, am I just paranoid?—Green Day
Chapter Seventeen: Basket Case
Bella's Point of View
Dream:
I was standing in the middle of some dark, deserted road, and Edward was there with me. "Just say it, Bella," He whispered, brushing my cheek tenderly. Our faces were inches apart. "Just once, say it, for me."
I opened my mouth to obey his orders, but when I tried to speak, I found myself mute. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find my voice.
Edward's beautiful face fell, and I cried out for him soundlessly, tears staining my face, rolling down my cheeks.
But he turned away from me, and began to walk away. "No!" I screamed, and it felt as if my lungs had exploded. It was torture, but I kept on speaking anyways. "Edward! No! Stay! I love—"
End of Dream
I bolted up in bed, and smashed foreheads with someone else. We both groaned at the same time, and I looked up to see the person's face.
Edward. I gasped, and he tensed, frozen like a statue on the side of my bed.
"Um, I'll, I should probably, um, go." He was about to shut my door when his words abruptly registered in my sluggish brain.
Edward's leaving. Don't let him leave, Bella. Not again.
"No!" I cried out, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. "Stay, please." He stopped, turning on his heel to look at me, his expression unreadable. "Bella, I, have to go, I'm sorry." He was whispering by the time he finished.
But I wasn't giving up. He was the only person I felt truly safe with right now, probably because he saved me from Jacob, and I didn't really want to be tormented by the thought of him coming back, Jacob, I mean, and having to go through that all over again. No, thank you.
"Edward! Stay, stay, please don't leave me," I was begging now, and I probably looked pathetic to him, but I didn't really care at that particular moment; I just needed Edward to stay. I would worry about everything else later.
He had come back, but stopped midway in his path. My hope faltered, well, more like crashed and burned pathetically right in front of my face.
"Why are you doing this, Bella? You hate me," He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.
"Because I want you here," I blurted out. I regretted it immediately, because his eyes suddenly narrowed. "Bye, Bella, I'll see you on Monday." No. Not again.
"Edward, please," I cried desperately, but it was no use. I could already hear his light footsteps on the stairs, and I fell back, crying myself into a restless slumber.
Dream:
"Come here, baby," Jacob's voice purred from somewhere in the pitch black that surrounded me. I shivered, shrinking involuntarily at the cold and at his eerie voice.
"Come here," his voice sounded angry, and all of a sudden, he was right in front of me. "Edward can't save you now," he sneered, laughing at my evident fear.
End of Dream
I screamed, falling off of my bed. I shrunk into the corner of my room, burying my face in my hands as I curled into a ball, whimpering.
"Just a dream," I said over and over, but the tears ran down m face yet again despite my self-reassurances.
"Bella?!" Emmett's voice rang out in the small room. Then, he was right in front of me, crouching down. "Bella, Bella, shh, what happened, calm down." I shook my head.
Emmett looked scared, and I suddenly realized what I must look like to him. A basket case. I was acting like I'd snapped. I looked up at him from behind my hands, and whispered, "Just get Edward."
He was going to hate me after this. I wasn't giving up. But now I actually needed him here, or I was going to go crazy. Emmett bolted from the room, already whipping out his cell phone.
Even in my hysteria, I managed to register that small detail.
Why does Emmett know Edward's number? But I pushed that to the very back of my mind for later.
About ten minutes after Emmett had gone practically sprinting out of my room, I heard footsteps, lighter than Emmett's, but still pounding, on the stairs. I hid my face again, feeling stupid now. Why had I even asked? I allowed myself a quick glance at the clock, and it did nothing to settle the uneasiness I felt.
It was late. I began to wonder if maybe I was going crazy.
"Bella?" I began to cry for some reason at the sound of his velvety voice. "I'm sorry," I cried, trying to make myself smaller, wishing that I could just disappear into the walls and the floor, so I wouldn't have to deal with this.
"Bella, why are you sorry?" His voice sounded impossibly close, and before I could stop myself, I raised my face to see him. When he saw how bad I looked, he cringed.
"I'm sorry," I said again. Then, I don't know how, but he was holding me, rocking me back and forth. He whispered soothing words in my ear, and let me ruin his shirt.
"It's okay, I'm right here," He murmured. I nodded, and he rubbed my back gently. Soon, I began to feel tired. I tried to conceal it, afraid of going to sleep, but Edward shook his head.
"Go to sleep," He smiled comfortingly, and let me get up, steadying me when I wobbled a little. I was still a little intoxicated, and hoped that I would remember his kindness, if I remembered anything at all.
"Don't leave me, please don't leave me, I'm scared," I cried, panicking when he turned towards my door. Slowly turning back, he nodded, and I finally fell asleep, at last the feeling of safety and security washing over me.
Edward's Point of View
When Emmett and Jasper left for a few hours to return to the party, Bella began to talk. "Edward," I whipped my head around, thinking that she had woken up. But instead, I found her sleeping. She smiled briefly, and then, it turned into a frown.
"No! I love you!" she cried out.
She what? But I thought she said… I felt my breath hitch in my throat. Did she mean…
I sat on the side of her bed, and brushed her cheek gently. "I love you, too," I whispered, letting my guard down for just a moment.
"No!" she exclaimed, and tossed and turned restlessly. "I love—" all of a sudden, she bolted up in her bed, and we smashed foreheads. I groaned. Ow, that hurt!
I rubbed the tender spot on my head, wincing. I almost groaned again when I thought of the bruise I would have tomorrow. Oh, well.
The, I felt her tense beside me, and my walls went up. I became the mask everyone wanted me to be once again.
"Um, I'll, I should probably go," I stuttered, and quickly turned, leaving her alone. I had almost reached the hallway when she cried out to me. "No!" her voice was pleading with me now. And I almost gave in. I stopped where I was, but I didn't turn around. "Stay, please." I turned, and began to walk back to her. But then I stopped. She was supposed to hate me.
"Bella, why are you doing this? You hate me." I pointed out. Her face became despaired as she realized that I wasn't actually coming back, but merely asking a question. She looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks as she whispered, "Because I want you here." I felt my eyes widen in disbelief. Then, I narrowed them cruelly. "Bye Bella, I'll see you on Monday." It was so blunt that it hurt even me. My voice sounded harsh and biting, and her face made me feel as if my heart was being broken to pieces again. Which, of course, would be totally impossible, seeing as she's already broken it in every way possible. Then, leaving her in tears, I turned around, heading home.
Everything you say to me (brings me one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break.) I need a little room to breathe, cuz I'm – I picked up my cell phone, looking at the caller ID before snapping it open and answering.
Why in god's name is he calling at this hour of the night? I thought to myself, confused as hell. I mean, it wasn't like I was trying to get some sleep or anything anyways, but still, it was pretty rude of him considering he did not know that.
Shut up, Edward, you can't say anything. I sighed.
"Hello, Emmett?" I asked, cringing when I realized how annoyed I sounded. "Edward, Bella is, like, going insane. Can you some over, like, right now! I am seriously freaked out!" In five seconds flat, I was out the door, sprinting to her house.
Ten minutes later, I made it there, and, thanks to the freezing temperature outside, hadn't even broken a sweat.
Emmett opened the door before my fist even knocked on it once.
"She's upstairs, man, I have no clue what to do with her." Emmett warned me. I nodded as I made my way upstairs. I had just reached the top of the stairs when I heard it. And it the sound made me wish I had never left her alone like this in the first place. Her whimpers hit me like a wrecking ball. I grabbed the banister for support for a brief moment before practically sprinting for my life down the dimly lit hallway.
I found Bella in a small corner, crying, and curled up in a ball. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was officially the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.
"I'm sorry," The words broke me out of my thoughts; I hadn't even realized I had dazed off. Those two words made me feel terrible, well, worse than I already felt.
Why are you sorry?" I blurted out. I was crouched down in front of her now, inches from her face. She looked up abruptly, and I cringed at the pain in her eyes. She looked as if something inside of her had died, or was dying.
"I'm sorry," she repeated again. I pulled her light body into my arms, rocking her back and forth as she cried into my shirt. I brought my lips to her ear, whispering what I hoped were comforting words into her ear. I felt her shiver when my teeth accidentally grazed her skin. It made me wonder for a moment in the back of my mind about how much I actually affected her, and how much she let on that I did. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head; now was definitely not the time for that.
"It's okay, I'm right here," I murmured. She only cried harder. I sincerely hoped that I wasn't making things worse; I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that were true.
Dammit, the walls are down again! Some little evil voice screamed this at me like a mantra in my head. But I gritted my teeth, forcing it to shut up. Right now, I couldn't just do that to Bella. It would kill her.
It was only when Bella yawned that I suddenly realized just how late into the night it was. The party was coming to an end.
The fact that they hadn't even cared that the reason for the party had just been traumatized quite frankly pissed me off. It was as if they weren't even there for her, but instead just using it as a reason to party.
Bella tried to conceal her sleepiness, but failed miserably. "Go to sleep," I said, smiling as best I could. She got up, but wobbled. I gently wrapped my arms around her waist, steadying her. I guess the drugs, or alcohol, whatever Jacob had slipped into her drink, hadn't totally worn off. I was a little disappointed. She probably wouldn't even remember that night. But there really wasn't anything that I could do about it.
I turned to leave, but then realized she probably wanted me to do the opposite, so I slowed, and was about to turn around when she said, obviously panic-stricken, "Don't leave me, please don't leave me, I'm scared." I turned around now, and nodded, walking back to her.
Even though she wouldn't remember this, even though she would probably go back to hating me tomorrow, I couldn't deny it any longer.
No matter how hard I tried not to, I was still, and I always would be, in love with Bella Swan. And I couldn't help but hold on to that little glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, she would realize this, and maybe, even return my feelings. The chance was slim, but I didn't care. When she was finally in a deep slumber, no longer talking, the only sound was that of her steady breathing, I carefully slipped my gift deep into a corner under her bed. I don't know why I did it, but then, I guess I don't really know much of anything these days.
Author;s Note
So, how was it? I hope that I made it long enough for you!
Review! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Advertisements:
All My Life, Gifted, and The Lost Daughters of Russia, by flutetenorsaxplayer2008.
All This Green!, by teamedwardc101
Soccer With Her, by .Anthony (sorry bout the mistake!)
I don't need a savior! By RobDaZzLes
They are all really good!
PEACE!
Norah : P
Xoxoxo