15 Satiated

Tara swung her legs and let a leaf fall. She and Bella were perched on "their" tree limb in the forest. They had sought out this serene place together to give Carlisle, Esme and Edward some time together. The three had approached the issue of Carlisle's illness with scientific zeal tinged with desperation.

Tara knew better than any of them the stages of understanding and grief that had to be passed through when the future was uncertain, but grim. In this case they faced the wholly unexpected and in fact almost inconceivable fear for Carlisle's health coupled with the prospects of Italy and the Volturi.

The Cullen's charmed lives of eternal youth left them even more vulnerable to the devastation of loss, or the fearful of anticipation of loss. Tara knew this terrifying purgatory well. She shuddered to remember the fresh hell her mind invented each day after she was told she had two months to live. She pulled her thoughts from her memories of her mortal days to focus on Bella. She was suffering.

Bella's lovely face was drawn and she pulled leaves from the tree to shred them as she told Tara what to expect in Volterra. The picture she painted was bleak.

"I've always wanted to go to Italy," Tara said, trying to lighten the mood. She ignored Bella's incredulous look and continued, "Once we get everything fixed promise me you'll check out some castles with me, maybe even some churches. We are allowed in those, right? "

Bella didn't even crack a smile. Tara felt the familiar weight of responsibility – and failure.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to heal Carlisle," she said gently. "You know, for a second I thought I was going to fix it." Her face fell. "Guess I believed the hype."

"No apologies. I was wrong to put you in that position," Bella said earnestly. "You are still a newborn. The strangest newborn anyone has seen since me," she amended. "You are just finding your way and no one expects you to fix everything. You shouldn't expect that of yourself."

She gave Tara a probing look. "You don't have to go on this trip. You could stay here with Jake."

"You're kidding me right? I'm the big sister. Who is going to keep you out of trouble?" Tara asked with a grin. She somehow knew that something was waiting for her there. She hated to leave Jacob, but his place was in Forks.

"What is going on with you and Jake?" Bella asked abruptly, catching Tara off guard.

She was uncertain about how to answer. Jacob had told her of everyone's expectations about him and Nessie. She knew that her feelings for Jacob were not going to change, so she took a deep breath and decided to be direct.

"I love him," Tara said, feeling the thrill of sharing her joy.

"He loves you too! I can tell!" Bella shouted, bouncing up and down on her tree limb, hugging herself.

"Yeah, I gathered that. It's sort of awesome," Tara responded. She was relieved at Bella's reaction, but her characteristic concern for others quickly marred her joy.

"Do you think Nessie will be OK with it?" she asked in concern.

"Believe me when I tell you that Nessie will be thrilled," Bella answered confidently. "I can't tell you how long we've hoped that Jacob would find someone to love. Jacob is going to be my brother-in-law! That is so much better than son-in-law," she said with a smile.

"Whoa there, don't go planning my wedding just yet," Tara said.

"Of course not," Bella said in a rush. "No pressure. I know how annoying that can be! You two take your time, elope in Vegas for all I care….or not."

"No weddings," Tara emphasized sternly. "I'd like to tell Nessie about me and Jake myself, if you don't mind. I feel like I owe that to her."

"Unfortunately, she left. She went to see Rosalie."

Tara was surprised to hear this news.

"Is she really mad at Jacob about Demetri? You know it wasn't his fault," Tara said, staunchly defending him.

"No, she understands."

"Well, I hope she told that to Jacob. He is suffering."

Bella's eyes fell. "No, she didn't go see him." At Tara's reproving look, she continued, "I know. It was wrong. She's young and emotional. It's no excuse."

"We have to go talk to him. He needs to know about Carlisle."

"And that you are going to Italy."

The sisters shared a look of dread. Neither of them needed to say aloud that they expected Jacob to react badly to the news.

"Bella, you go first," Tara said.

"No, you! You tell him. You're his favorite," Bella teased.

---

Jacob was sitting at his enormous kitchen table when Tara and Bella walked in, their faces grave. He could not help but compare the two women. Both faces were as familiar to him as his own. His memory of his boyish love for Bella had faded. Nothing compared to the connection he felt for Tara now. His heart leapt for joy at the sight of her. Each time she returned to him it was like a homecoming. Regrettably, he had barely had a minute alone with her since they had expressed their love.

Bella explained what was happening with Carlisle and what Jane had told them of the fever. Jacob was astounded at the news and concerned for his friend Carlisle, but his first terror was for others.

"Is this contagious? Are you all going to get it?" he asked urgently, his eyes searching Tara and Bella for some sign of illness.

"We don't know. So far Jane said it has affected the older vampires," Bella replied.

"I tried to heal him but I couldn't," Tara said, eyes downcast.

Jacob could not bear to see the sadness in her eyes. His spirit rose in him to defend her from her own judgment. "You aren't a doctor," he snapped, and then calmed himself. "There's nothing you could do. You heal wounds that no one can see."

She gave him a grateful look.

"Is Carlisle still going to Italy?" Jacob asked, already knowing the answer. Carlisle would always try to help if he could.

"He is. Esme and Edward are travelling with him."

"So, I'm assuming that means you will too. If you are all gone, Tara stays with me," Jacob said definitively.

Jacob was not happy about where everyone was going, but he wasn't sorry that he would get some time with Tara alone.

"I'm going too," Tara said, cringing slightly to wait for his reaction.

Jacob could tell from her expression that she knew he would not approve but was planning to go anyway. I have not had a lot of success trying to tell her what to do, Jake thought. She is pretty feisty.

Jacob's mind swiftly calculated his options and came to a decision. If you can't beat them, join them. He instinctively knew they would resist.

Bringing to bear all of the accumulated wisdom of his 27 years on the earth, Jacob took a deep breath and focused the first salvo of his attack on Bella.

"Bells, I asked you not to go to Italy once. I asked you to stay here with me. Do you remember?" he asked, making his brown eyes soulful and brimming with pain.

Bella seemed to crumple and a tender expression crept over her face. Jacob pressed his advantage.

"I begged you not to go, but you went and you never came back to me, really. I was eclipsed." He paused for effect as Bella bowed her head in guilt and suffering. She could never bear the memory of how she had hurt Jacob. He reached over and touched her hand, sparing a quick glance at Tara. She looked bemused by his tactics and at Bella's reaction.

"I'm not going to let that happen again Bella. I won't be left behind. I'm going where Tara goes. It's her and me. Together." He could see Tara's expression of worry soften at his words.

Bella's tortured expression cleared and she looked tenderly between Jacob and Tara. "OK, Jake," she choked out. "I understand."

It worked! He carefully controlled his expression but he was sure Tara had seen the gleam of triumph in his eyes. She flashed him a look. That woman is very clever, he thought.

"But Jake, you can't deliberately go to where the Volturi will be. What if they find out about Demetri?" Tara asked.

"I'm not going to tell them," Jake said briskly, with all traces of his mournful tones gone. "So when do we leave? Is Nessie coming too?"

At his question, both women pulled their chairs back from the table and poised to flee. The sisters looked at each other like two teenagers preparing to tell their father they wrecked the car. Tara was the first to gather her courage.

"Um , Jake … She left this morning. She said to say bye. She's not mad at you."

These women will be the death of me, Jacob thought, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white. He eyed the kitchen table. Control it… control it. He addressed the kitchen table, "Table, I am better than that. You will live another day."

He turned his attention from the table to the women and said, "I can be packed and ready to go in five minutes."

Bella was immediately flustered.

"I have a lot to do. I'd better head home and shove some things in a bag," she said, rising to her feet.

"Great, Bells. Call me when the travel arrangements are done. Remember, the name on my passport is Jacob Wolfe."

Tara chuckled at this and stood up as well, but froze when Jacob fixed her with a look.

"Not you. You…are staying right here."

A red flush crept up her neck and Tara could not tear her eyes from his. She had absolutely no desire to go anywhere. She sat back down.

Bella appeared not to notice. "OK. Tara is your passport at your house?"

Tara nodded, her mouth too dry to speak.

"I'll send someone over to pick it up. See you in a few," Bella said, rushing out of the room.

Jacob was staring at Tara intently.

"So Jake, what was up with that little melodramatic performance for Bella? Good to know you aren't above a little emotional manipulation if it suits you," she said lightly.

Jacob dismissed her questions quickly. "My methods are calculated but my motives are pure. I only use my powers for good. I'm going where you go," he said, rising with controlled energy. The chair made a long, low moan as he slowly pushed it back.

His eyes flashed fire and Tara responded with a ravenous thirst. She could not even define her craving. It wasn't his blood that she wanted, although everything about his body, his scent, his self appealed to her. Her legs felt too weak to rise from the chair. He moved and stood behind her and she leaned her head back against him.

"You feel alright?" he asked in concern, running one finger over her cheek and down her neck.

"I feel…fine," she gasped, sure he knew what was affecting her.

Proving her right, Jacob slowly traced her collarbone and then slid his finger gently under the neckline of her silken shirt. Tara swallowed and unconsciously leaned closer to him, willing him to move his finger to touch more of her.

Jacob looked satisfied that he had her under his spell. His voice was deep and suggestive when he spoke.

"You feel a little warm to me, maybe you should go to bed."

---

Jacob's room was little more than a huge bed and a bedside table. A large window overlooked the deep forest, the foliage providing a sweeter sense of privacy than heavy curtains would do. In Tara's eyes, the bed loomed larger than reality and it looked very inviting.

Jake's cell phone on the bedside table rang, startling them both. Tara realized that he should take the call and desperately hoped that there wasn't some death defying emergency that would call Jacob away.

"It might be about the travel arrangement, or Carlisle," Tara said reluctantly.

Jacob sighed heavily and flipped open the phone. "Hello," he said curtly.

Tara sat down on the bed, her hands flat beside her, swinging her legs impatiently. Jacob paced the room, darting glances at her. He was obviously anxious to get off of the phone.

"Oh, Alice. I'm kind of busy… am I with Tara?" he gave Tara a smile. "Not nearly as much as I want to be.... What? … Oh, you are mad because you can't see her future. Tough luck kid, guess you'll just have to wait to find out how things turn out like the rest of us."

"Let me talk to her," Tara said, reaching for the phone. She could hear the very rapid rise and fall of a voice coming out of it.

He held the phone away from his ear.

"There is no way I'm giving you this phone, you two will be chatting for an hour," Jacob said sternly, arching an eyebrow.

He might be right, Tara thought.

"Then just tell her I like the clothes," she said in a loud whisper.

Jacob sighed heavily. "Alice…. Alice…. slow down. Yes, I'm with Tara. She said to say she likes the clothes. Yes, we are going to Italy. Yes, I'll see you there. Get me a good car, OK?"

Tara heard a bunch more talking.

"On it. We'll be careful. I know we are walking into Volturi infested waters… Alice, um, tell Jazzy Jasper that Quil recorded this season of True Blood. We are waiting for him, but Quil is dying to watch. He's gonna crack."

More talking.

"Seriously, I gotta go. You are breaking up." Jacob turned off the phone and tossed it back on the nightstand.

"What was Alice talking about?" Tara asked.

"Oh, she can't see the future of any of the wolves. When you are with me she can't see you and it is bugging her." Jacob grinned. "What a control freak."

"What do you mean she can't see me?" Tara asked.

"Bella has told you how she has these visions of the future right?"

Tara nodded, thinking about what a horrible burden that must be for Alice.

"She can't see my future or any of the pack and she can't see you when you are with me. Total privacy."

Jacob moved purposefully and Tara felt a shiver of anticipation as he stalked her. She complied eagerly when Jacob pushed her steadily back and moved his body on top of her. He made her forget about the phone call and her worries. All her senses were focused on Jacob.

"Alone at last." His velvety voice turned her anticipation into melting desire.

Jacob's face was taut with concentration and he was holding his breath as he slid his body against hers, bracing himself to hold his full weight from her. She wrapped her arms around him, wanting to test his control. She wouldn't have minded if he crushed her. She wanted him to crush her. Her wild hunger at Quil's house had carried them both headlong in its rush. Slow could be good too, she thought, letting Jacob set the pace.

Jacob leaned down and pressed kisses along her neck and then slid his fingers along her bare arm, picking up her wrist and pressing the spot with the silver scar to his lips. The contact vibrated between them as Jacob let himself breathe and Tara felt that she was sharing the electrical impulses that moved his heart to beat. The grip and release of his lungs was her link to life.

She reached for him but he pressed her arm back over her head and then slid his lips back and forth across hers, easing them open to slip his tongue between them. Tara felt wild to touch him, but he pinned her other arm over her head, pushing her hands down deep into the bed. Excitement swirled inside her, sending tickling rivulets through her body as she halfheartedly resisted, only to feel his iron grip strengthen pleasantly. Why fight it? she thought, giving over to his power and relaxing into the bed, concentrating all of her attention on the sensation of his mouth and tongue. Through the sensual softness of his kisses, Jacob told her over and over of his love for her.

Tara could feel that the enticement of her passionate response was affecting Jacob, his breathing came more rapidly and he couldn't hold himself apart from her.

"Please Jacob, free my hands," she begged against his lips, but he would not release her.

The power of Jacob's desire was hard against her as he returned her kiss passionately, their tongues finding a rhythm.

Jacob suddenly pulled his head back and took a few deep breaths.

He stills wants to maintain control, she realized and she held herself still.

Jacob reverently stroked along the length of her body, sending ripples through her. His eyes were dark melting pools and he would not look away.

Jacob gritted his teeth and moaned her name, "Tara… Tara."

At the sound of her name on his lips, Tara knew he was drowning and she pulled him into her with the waves of her love, wrapping her legs and arms around him.

Her hunger was sated. Nothing had ever fulfilled her like Jacob Black.

A/N I'll have an alternate (lemon filled) ending on this chapter up at twilighted(dot)net if you care to check it out.

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