Hermione POV

They aren't perfect, but they'll do.

The words I spoke echoed in my brain, bouncing around in confusion as I hurried down the hall. All the calmness I'd felt in the potions room was dissolving with every step away from the room. I'd felt fine a few moments ago when I'd decided to head to the library. Not simply fine, but normal. That was part of the problem. Nothing felt normal now that I was alone and had the chance to over think.

Why had I given two shites about Malfoy being sad? Why had I tried to make him feel better? Why had I given him half my potion? Why did I want to turn around and run in the other direction?

It wasn't just about ensuring he didn't fail or the concern of him being taken to Azkaban. Two years ago I wouldn't have cared how upset he was, I would have protected Nicola. Now his anger felt valid, reasonable. His sadness even more so. Even if I didn't want to, I did in fact care if he was hurting. I cared about both of them. I didn't want him or Theo to hurt. Every time I thought of those memories that I had seen that night in their room it made my soul ache like I was experiencing those awful things myself. My pain was theirs and theirs was mine. Our moments of despair had mingled together like our magic, like our bond.

I'd read everything I could find about magical bonds, but none of it explained this need to protect. I didn't just want to fuck them. I wanted to smile and laugh and joke with them like we did with the gillyweed. I wanted Theo to whisper in my ear to make me smile when I was mad, for Malfoy to complain about all my muggle nonsense. I wanted to get high and listen to music, maybe even listen to Theo play as Malfoy hummed.

I reached for the railing on the stairs leading out of the dungeons and a color on my fingers caught my attention. It wasn't gold, but yellow. Fuck! I knew what it was connected to without even thinking about it. It was my joy. A soft happiness was in my chest at the thought of our time together. I tried to shift my thoughts, but all it did was make me focus again on what had just happened again. I'd saved Malfoy. I'd joked and comforted him. I'd felt normal and it was all because of them. The yellow in my hand shifted. The barest hint of proof that I had gone completely mental. The nearly invisible dusting of magic wasn't red. It was too light to be red, too soft and pretty. I brushed my hand on my robes. No! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. Books, spells, Harry, Ron, my parents. I forced myself to think of anything else to get that damn color to go away. I settled on thinking of my used copy of 'Hogwarts: A History', trying to remember the exact look of the cover, how exciting it felt to open it for the first time.

"Granger!"

Footsteps, two familiar sets. I pictured the exact font on the cover of the book, the swirling designs on the worn leather, fighting back the fact that the sound of those footsteps made my insides feel warm and the color brighten on my skin.

I picked up my speed on the stairs, trying not to run. It would only make more questions. Panic rushed through me, pure terror that sent a rush of blood through my veins. I looked at my hand and watched that blush of a color fade to nothing. Panic didn't have a damn color. Yes! They caught up to me and I chose to make stupid conversation all the while concentrating back on the book in my mind.

"I'm heading back to the library. Are you guys going to the…" My words and legs stopped in unison. I couldn't say it. Ugh. That annoyed the fuck out of me. I knew that was where they went every night- the Manor. Still, there was a difference between knowing it and speaking it aloud. Good. Anger could work. I focused on that, on all my feelings of that last time in the Manor- the knife, the feel of the crucio. Even if those memories were muddled with Malfoy's feelings and experience, it still made me angry and sad. I knew without looking that my body was glittering gold and green.

"No, we're not. And you aren't going to the library." Malfoy said, his own skin void of color. His tone sounded determined, adamant.

"Excuse you?" More gold from me, I could see it so clearly in my peripheral vision now. I was happy to see it. I could handle anger or sadness or lust. I couldn't handle the other colors. That small amount of yellow or the color that followed it. The color I was hoping with every passing second was a figment of my imagination. It was so pale…maybe it was red.

Theo looked at Malfoy like he was crazy. I was too busy thinking about knives, crucios, and textbooks to consider what look I might be giving. My skin was still miraculously gold and green though. Malfoy's gaze bounced between us with a slight narrowing of his eyes

"Did either of you even eat today?" He asked, I didn't realize what that had to do with anything, but I thought about it anyway because it was something else to think about. I'd had an apple in the morning. Wait, no, was that yesterday? Yeah, that was yesterday.

Theo responded with a shake of his head.

"We need a break. Now that the veritaserum is brewed, for better or worse, we can take the risk on another break."

I thought of the last break that we had taken again- the joy of the gillyweed, the feel of Malfoy in my mouth and Theo between my legs. My magic reacted in a mist of red. Red was okay too. Red was acceptable.

A break. A break was going to strengthen the bond, make things worse, but I wanted the high, the distraction, the suppressant to hide every thought and feeling. I wanted to not think.

"Okay."

I ignored the pink and red flicks of their response to my agreement. Those colors, the looks on their faces, tapped that warmth in my chest. I pushed it away and returned to my thoughts of 'Hogwarts: A History'. I recited the opening chapter in my head.

I just needed to make it to the magical suppressant. I couldn't let my emotion over take my magic, couldn't let them see the realization that I was making. The realization that I didn't just want to fuck them. It was building into admiration, understanding, respect. It felt something like…Oh fuck. My thoughts had slipped. I conjured the recipe for polyjuice potion. Fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies, leeches, horn of bicorn, boomslang skin, and hairs from the subject.

"Come on, we have gillyweed in our room. I got more. We'll stop by the kitchens and Theo can grab food." Malfoy said, walking by me up the stairs.

He grabbed at my hand as he passed and I started up the stairs behind him with Theo hot on my heels. I could feel his gaze on my arse, the heat of them as we walked, the soft touch of Malfoy's fingers. The red got brighter. I abandoned the polyjuice recipe to thoughts of skin. If lust worked, to hell with every other distraction. We turned the corner at the top of the stairs and Theo walked ahead towards the kitchen. I imagined myself sandwiched between them as Malfoy rubbed greedily against me, begging for entrance while Theo entered me from behind. I thought of Malfoy and Theo on top of me, Theo full and pressing into me with every thrust of Malfoy's hips driving him into me. I conjured every dirty position, every filthy act, embracing the flutter of my cunt, the moisture of my lust. Licking, sucking, stroking, panting, and clawing. My mind and body were so caught up in it all, that my heart didn't stand a chance.

We came to a stop in the empty hall outside of the kitchens to wait for Theo. Malfoy finally turned to me and his red aura flared.

"Merlin's beard, Granger."

I knew what he saw. The red magic on me was dripping down my fingers. I could feel it. If he spoke, if he asked what was going on, I didn't know what I would say. I decided that I wouldn't give him the opportunity. His hand was still in mine. I used my grip to pull him towards me and before he could utter one more syllable, I smashed my lips against his.