'Where am I?'
She can no longer find herself
She is not Rose, she looks and speaks like her, but she doesn't feel it
Where have I gone?
What she used to be, is now gone and the reflection in the mirror is just a pale imitation of what she once was
Her image sickening, and grey and hollowed
What daunting realisation is this, that she now so resembles something she had swore never to become
What has happened to her, what has happened to that fire and feist
That used to be the driving force behind all her actions and thoughts
Now she is just an empty dry husk
All her familiar thoughts and feelings are gone
Her heart has only one desire now
And it is swallowing her whole
She is a puppet
Drab and used and strung up so tight
She is being pulled and pushed by her body's intense needs
She literally burns for it
Tongue dry
Bone ache
She is tender and raw and hurting
She wants it too much
And she knows what she has become
And it disgusts her
BLOOD WHORE
The words fill her mouth with broken glass
As she spits it out
WHORE
Blood, lust, Whore
Its echoes through the room
Taunting her, picking at her piece by piece
She has to be stronger than this
She will not let the overcome her, won't let it drag her down deeper than she already is
She cannot let it take her, or she will surely die
As she stares at the ghoul in the mirror
Her stomach twisting with pain from the NEED that consumes her
Scratching at her skin with broken fingernails
She knows now this cannot go on for much longer
She can't live in this black purgatory
This life of lust and power, violence and hate and love that is lost
This has to STOP!!
She must not give in to him
She will resist him
She will cut herself of from those weak cravings
She will reach in and pull out that girl who used to fight with vengeance and love
And she will become stronger than she ever thought she could be
He already owns her heart
But he will not have her soul
And though it will KILL her to do this
She has to, she came here to save him and that is what she will do, she will fulfil her promise
He will have his eternal life; he will become that heavenly creature she always knew him to be. A demon no longer
But an angel of light
You pace through the wood panelled corridors
Thoughts raging and beating against your skull
Tiny daggers, forks of lightning
You can't stand it
What the FUCK is wrong with you
That girls is nothing to you, she is just a tool
But why haven't you used her yet
You kept telling yourself
That this was all part of you plan
But you can't keep pretending
That some small secret part of you
Doesn't want to do this to her
To re-incarnate her into this life of darkness you live
You are WEAK, you are disgusted
With yourself for giving into to these pathetic feelings and thoughts
Why do you slide into her room at night?
For no other purpose than to watch her breath make lace-like patterns in the air
As she sleeps
You drink from her everyday
Yet you stop yourself each time from going too far
And draining her till she is dry and brittle
Why?
Your touch her
And watch her open herself to your fingertips
But you never use your power and force against her
To feed that throbbing desire that pools in your belly
Why?
Yes you did once know how to love
But there is no room left in this cold stone heart of yours
So why do you prolong the inevitable
You keep her so close, so near
Yet you do not take what is rightly yours
And this indecision is a hard ball in your throat
It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth
And you know this has to STOP
Devotion is not in your nature
Feelings do not exist
The heart does burn for other beings
So you will smother this rebellion rising inside you
And destroy all obstacles in the way of your fate and fortune
you will destroy her before she does you
You will have your power, your will have your rule of fear
Because you are strigoi
And there is NO other option