I sat on La Push bay with Rebecca her eyes brightly shinning watching Luke and Tyler trying to catch little baby fish in the water, my arm wrapped around her waist everything like paradise when I see Jasper Cullen I wave with a broad smile to my best friend not noticing the blood around his lips, his eyes bright red menacing as he keeps walking towards us. I look down at Rebecca in my arms her head faced the other way at Tyler and Luke I look and they are gone. Alarmed I become frantic looking down to see Rebecca's reaction but she has disappeared too. I start searching wildly for them until I walk into the bay and the scene changes. I am now outside our old house the usual friendly atmosphere long gone a sense of dread makes me almost piss my pants. I slowly walk onto the porch and into the front hallway the door slams behind me I slowly keep walking deeper and deeper and then as I enter the living room the scene of that awful, awful fucking night plays over and over again until I am finally holding their dead bodies in my arms trying to stop the excessive bleeding.

I jump out of my sleep panting like crazy I turn to look beside me in the dark room and then I realize not all of it was a dream she is gone and so is Tyler and Luke my stomach lurches and I race to the bathroom in all my glory head hanging over the sink puking and crying I at least had the decency to shut the door.

NPOV

Jacob had heard it before seeing it and felt upset Matt's guilt was always so overwhelming and his quiet sobbing he stood up and went near the door "Matt?" Jacob calls scratching his arm as he stands outside the bathroom door.

MPOV

I keep crying long after puking my heart felt like it was breaking over and over again as I cry harder I don't hear the door open I forgot to lock it again as my rage explodes I kick the wall leaving a nice dent "I-I want him dead, this mess I am, I fucking hate him! I want to kill his family, I want him dead, I want him to feel what I feel why the hell do I deserve this fucking bullshit? What kind of sick, sedated, asshole murders a two year old and a four year old" I sob angrily before getting up and looking in the bathroom mirror. The sudden urge to kill, destroy and/or punch something was overwhelming when Jacob slides in beside me and hugs me needless to say I was slightly shocked but to enraged and upset to say anything and it wasn't a weird hug it was just something to say I wasn't completely alone. "Come on Matt it was never your fault it was just really, really bad luck" Jacob says. I growl I would never ever be able to put the shame away not until I knew Jasper's head was decapitated in my own hands and his entire family slaughtered I could never move on. That's why I remember, that's why I wake up every night puking and crying because I hadn't killed Jasper and my wife and two sons where dead my didn't register a treaty my mind registered a treacherous backstabber and as my tears dried and I pulled away from my Jacob I knew what I had to do.

*Two weeks later*

"You're leaving already?" Dad asked in surprise after two weeks I nod making up some bogus excuse.

"Yeah what do you think I was just going to move back? I'll help when ever I can but I can't just stay here I have a job, an apartment, my life is mostly in New York now but if Sam ever needs me I game him my uh…uh…number" I told him my nose tingling so bad it made my eyes water. Man I hate that my apparent discomforts with lying has turned into a health problem because after I lie I always sneezed. No one had been the wiser I would just excuse it for allergies but then Jacob and Sam pretty much figured it out. I felt the tickle at the back of my nose grow rapidly fast as I try to relatively look normal.

"Yeah right you're not going to try killing a certain blood sucker" Jacob says like in a 'duh kind of way'. I shook my head no and then I did sneeze into the crook of my elbow.

"Uh excuse me, no you don't want me to, plus Sam has laid it down for me too, you know I can't disobey so I w-won't do anything to jeopardize the pack" I answer the tickle dyed down and I was able to relax.

"So you are going straight home, no going to Forks and no vampire stalking right?" Jacob asks then thought about how he said it and this time he re-worded it "I mean you are not going to go after the Cullens, you are going to drive or fly right to New York without trying to kill, stalk or persuade any blood suckers or Bella, you expect me to believe that?" he asks me rewording everything so well I can't find a loop hole around it my nose began to tickle excessively that I sneezed four times into my elbow before sniffling.

"Exactly and why do you even give a shit, what I do does not mean anything to you or it shouldn't unless you really are that bored" I growl in frustration I glare at him he matches my glare.

"Bella-" he began but that's when I lost it.

"She doesn't give a shit about you, can't you see that?" I snarl he glares at me even harder.

"Yes she does, she just doesn't know it yet!" he snapped.

"What kind of excuse is that for her" I argued back.

"She's confused okay, she does love me" Jacob spat but uncertain. I couldn't believe it! Jacob was in such denial. I think he couldn't understand or maybe he was so in love with her…but his love was over powering his common sense.

"Okay really then prove it!" I told him grabbing the phone. "Actually I think she phoned today, why didn't you pick up?" I asked casually as if I had not known.

"Here I'll dial" I offered the look on Jacob's face was an unforgettable look of humiliation, rage, fear, pain and of course affection but it was just pure pain. I needed to help Jacob understand but I also needed an escape plan so as much as it hurt me to hurt him. The phone rang and a familiar voice asked well the one from the woods "Hey Jacob is that you?" a girl's voice said. Jacob cursed and launched grabbing the phone and I grabbed my bag and went to the car.

Finished...well will Matthew be able to go after Jasper or will someone step in the way? Who knows

;)

Toodles