Chapter 17

Edwards POV

I really hated hunting with Jacob. Even after a hundred years we both still didn't really care for each other and I found spending any time with him reminded me of Bella. Jacob seemed a bit off this trip like he had something on his mind and was trying to hide it from me. I was sitting high on a rock watching as my son and Jacob cornered a deer. It was the same routine they always used

Jacob would appear as his big wolf self and scare the deer right towards EJ who would be waiting and would pounce and snap the next. Then Jacob would morph back into his human form throw on some clothes and they would each carry a deer back to the house.

"What you watching brother." Jasper said as he sat down beside me. His eyes focus on what I was watching. "You really think after a hundred years they would change it up a bit. It would be faster if they each caught their own."That was Jasper always the one to never take his time. It was straight to the point and be done with it.

"Are you done?" Jasper asked me after a long pause. I could tell that he already knew that I was but was just trying to fill the dead air. "Yeah, I'm just watching EJ. It blows my mind on how much he looks like her."

"After a hundred years you're just now realizing that fact?" Jasper asked "You should really sit him down and talk about Bella to him." Jasper told me. So that's what Jasper and EJ had been hiding. I wasn't one to pry but I knew my family was getting better at blocking me out.

"It just hurts to talk about her. I just want to pretend she never was." Jasper put his hand on my shoulder.

"I know how you feel but I also know how he feels. He was blowing stuff up because he was so angry about the fact that we never talk about her and here is this girl who looks just like her. He isn't like Elizabeth and can read people's minds and memories of her so you're going to have to say it out loud for him. Personally I think its better coming from you next time instead of me." With his final word he was gone as fast as he had appeared. I jumped down from the rock. Jasper had a point. Jacob and EJ were walking towards me each with a deer over their shoulder.

"Jacob you mind going on ahead I want to talk with EJ. I'll even take the deer for you." I offered. Jacob handed over his deer and headed into the brush. I heard a howl of a wolf and then he was gone.

"What's up dad?" I was really uneasy about this. I knew he wanted to talk about his mom but what was there to say.

"You know EJ that your mother loved you very much." I told him it sounded kind of silly saying it out loud. I was failing horribly at this.

"Yeah dad I know" he said as he looked down at his feet. No matter how old he got I still felt like he was my little boy.

"She actually picked out your name. I remember her telling me that she just knew that the baby was a boy and she wanted to name him Edward Jacob after the two best men in her life." EJ looked at me kind of funny.

"I know that Jacob and mom were friends but why would she name me after him? They must have been real close." It was hard to tell him these things but I felt he had a right to know.

"They were. Sometimes I wonder if he had been right and she was really better off with him." I muttered mainly to myself. But of course my son's keen sense picked up on what I was saying.

"Wait Mom dated Jacob?" His jaw seemed to almost hit the ground.

"Well no she never dated Jacob she loved him but in the end her love for me was stronger than her love for him." My son was very quiet.

"Does everyone but me know about this?" I smiled a little at this at times he acted so much like me but every once and a while his mother showed through.

"Honestly, I'm not sure if your sister knows but if I were to guess I would say, yes everyone knows. But it was alone time ago." He was looking down at the ground again.

"if you think she would have been better off with him than you, do you regret having us knowing we killed mom?" my heart almost broke at that it was not my intention to make him think that at all.

"EJ I wouldn't trade you or your sister for anything in the world. I said what I said because if she had chosen him she wouldn't have died. I really am sorry son. Sometimes I forget that my grief blinds me." He seemed to smile a little bit.

"So let's change the topic. What do you want to know about her? Ask me anything." Ej seemed to be figuring out which question he wanted answered first.

"Did Uncle Jasper really try to kill mom?" I was floored Jasper had said he spoke with EJ but I didn't think he would tell him that it wasn't Jaspers best moment.

"Yeah but you got to remember that it wasn't the best time for your uncle back then. He really did feel sorry about it later but I should have known better than to expose him to that she was a bit of a klutz and always had a way of hurting herself." EJ nodded his head like he somehow understood what it was like for Jasper having Bella around so much.

"Uncle Jasper said you all went away because you thought it was safer for mom without you guys around. So why did you come back?" I looked into his eyes, eyes just like his mothers.

"Because, honestly I couldn't live without her." My son asked me a bunch of questions all the way home some more easy to answer than others but I answered them anyways. And I found the more I talked about her the easier it became. I truly think my heart was starting to heal