Hey thanks for all of the reviews! Anyways the usual I do not own twilight SM does but I do like peanut butter. Enjoy!
I woke up in cold sweat another nightmare screaming I tried to muffle the sound of my screams with the pillow. I looked at the clock it said 2:00pm I groaned there's no use of going back to sleep and having nightmares. I usually sleep in later mostly because, the drugs have that affect on me after I use I sleep most of the day. I sleepily walked to the shower and turned the water to maximum hotness the comforting smell of my strawberry shampoo filled the air. I dressed in dark black skinny jeans with a long sleeve black shirt and I threw on a random black hoodie. I don't know why but I put on the "E" necklace and tucked it into my shirt. I popped the rest of my oxycontin pills ugh I'm going to have to find a drug dealer sooner than I thought. I got out of the bathroom and walked downstairs to my room. I looked at my phone 10 missed calls from Renee I sighed I had to tell her sooner or later that I'm not coming back home this time. I've ran away many times in the past but always came back after a couple of days. The phone barley rang and Renee picked up.
"Bella Bella" Renee's voice was panic-ey
"Renee relax" I said
"No Bella I'm not going to relax. This little running away stunt has to end. Bella dear me and Phil are worried about you." Renee said her voice full of concern pff the only thing Phil is worried about is that he doesn't have a human punching bag to take his anger out on
"Mom I'm not coming back." I said and there was a long silent pause
"Isabella Marie Swan what do you mean you are not coming back?" Renee asked
"I'm not coming back I'm staying with Emmett can you send my truck over?" I asked
"You are on suicide watch Bella I can't just let you go." Renee said ouch why does she always have to bring that up it was a little while after Phil moved in.
Flashback (AN: this scene is very similar to my other fanfic Learning to Trust)
I'm so freakin tired of having nightmares because of Phil so freakin tired of living in fear so freakin tired of life. I slowly walked to the kitchen grabbed a knife, went to the bathroom and turned on the shower I couldn't stand the smell of blood I slowly sliced my wrists at first it felt great but then it started to hurt the cuts on my wrists were deep. I heard knocking on the door but I didn't answer I couldn't find my lips. I was happy that this was finally the end dying is peaceful living is the hard part.
"Bella"
"Bella"
"Bella"
"Oh god Bella what did you do?" Renee asked and everything was black after that I woke up in the hospital with my mom crying and having to answer all of these depression questions which I lied on and said that I was happy just didn't know what I was doing when I cut myself.
End Flashback
"Mom I do not cut anymore you know I can't stand the smell of blood" I lied
"And apparently you are a terrible liar too." Renee said trying to see if something was up.
"Scouts honor" I said and hopefully Renee would shut the fuck up soon.
"Are you sure there's enough room there oh wait there is Carlisle and Esme bought them that house for a late graduation present. And Emmett bets on sports games but that only helps so much." Renee explained oh that's why Emmett has such a huge house.
"I'm really worried about you Bella" Renee said in a motherly tone and I don't know why but I snapped
"Seriously I'm not a little kid anymore I'm 19 I can do whatever the fuck I want." I said a little bit too loudly
"Bella what is wrong with you this is not the Bella I used to know" Renee said probably on the verge of tears
"Ha that's so freakin funny you weren't there for half of my life and you think you know me! Maybe I left because, my mom was a heartless bitch!" I screamed and hung up on her oh my gosh I have such a huge headache.
I walked downstairs and grabbed a poptart Edward just came in with his bathing suit on dripping wet I practically choked on my poptart when I saw him his abs were perfectly sculpted and- aw shit if Phil knew that I was thinking this he would beat the crap out of me and Edward would never look at me like that because, I'm broken beyond repair. Some little voice in my head told me that I should be afraid of him (AN: She's a little afraid of men because, of what Phil did to her) but me being the stupid person I am decided against my thought and stayed there mistake number 1. I looked up and that was mistake number 2 my eyes locked with Edward's piercing emerald green eyes I don't know how long we were standing there but it was like we were having a silent conversation. Edward opened his mouth to speak and I thought he was going to say something thoughtful but what he said was
"Are you high?" I was about to say some bad ass remark back but strawberry blonde ran in, in a skimpy bathing suit that practically covered nothing.
"Eddie" She said in a nasely voice
"Tanya" Edward said back and Tanya practically attacked him and began a full out make-out session with him. A couple minutes later they were still making out and I said
"I think I lost my appetite" And I threw out what remained of my poptart I was about to head out the front door when I heard Edward say wait and I turned around.
"That's my sweatshirt I want it back" what an ass I noticed it said Cullen on the sleeve and probably the back too I practically ripped off his sweatshirt and threw it at him
"Asshole" I said underneath my breath just loud enough for him to hear
"What?" He said and his voice was like velvet it was just me and Edward alone
"You are an asshole" I said saying each word slowly
"Why don't you go back to your bimbo." I said with a pang of jealously in my voice and Edward came closer to me and put his arms on both sides of me (AN: Like the scene in twilight when they're against the rock)
"Why don't you go back to the guy you cheated on me with?" Edward said just as harshly his icy cool breath hitting my face
"Fuck you" I said with tears in my eyes trying to suppress the memories that came flooding back
"Dude Tanya wants you to come back in the pool" Jasper said but Edward kept on looking in my eyes trying to look for answers.
"Dude?" Jasper said again and I pushed Edward off of me, Went out the door and slammed it. I rode a subway to the "bad" parts of town meaning the place were the druggies hang out. I looked at people on the subway and thought that sometimes I want to tell someone what happened just blurt it out tell a random stranger just to, get it off my chest. I took out my journal and wrote
Dear Diary,
I feel like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. Every time I see him with Tanya I have to hold my breath because, I feel as if I'm going to burst into tears. I try to block out my emotions and be numb but there is a deep depression taking over me. And I'm that girl yes that girl that makes her mom cry.
From, a very depressed Bella.
This chapter was a little short but I posted two chapters so Review!