Hey guys thank you thank you and thank you for all of the reviews your reviews motivated me to write a new chapter ASAP ha ha ha ha. Enjoy this chapter!
I screamed into my pillow trying to muffle the sound of my screaming. "Ugh" I groaned as I got up I got a shower and pulled on black sweatpants with a black paramore shirt (AN: I love Paramore) and with a black zip up hoodie on top and my E necklace. Ugh I have such a huge hung over how drunk was I last night? I looked at what I wrote in my journal I usually don't look in my journal unless I can't remember what happened I don't really want to relive my memories so the last thing I remember is going to a bar with Jacob I don't remember much but I know that we had fun.
Dear Diary,
Let me start by saying SWEET HOME ALABAMA hahahaha. Emmett the guy who's really tall called me Bellsy! YAY I met a friend a guy named Jacob Black and I'm a good friend right he was drunk and I said in an officer-y voice friends don't let friends drive drunk. I felt alive for the first time in a while.
From, The not drunk Bella
Ugh how drunk was I last night and why did Emmett call me Bellsy? Aw shit I must have did the say the alphabet backwards thing. What the fuck why'd I write sweet home Alabama. I hope Emmett doesn't do some Dr. Phil crappy intervention. I called Jacob's number and he picked up after a couple of rings.
"Hey who's this?" He said sleepily
"Bella" I said just as tired
"Bella!" Jacob screamed excitingly on the phone
"Jacob" I said with mock enthusiasm
"Ugh I have a huge hang over" Jacob groaned
"Same it sucks" I said
"Hey I know this is random nut do you remember anything about sweet home Alabama?" I asked and Jacob burst out laughing
"What?" I asked
"Now that you mention it I do I remember us singing it at the top of our lungs and us being really drunk and you can say the alphabet backwards while you were drunk. You have got to teach me that." Jacob said with a smile in his voice and I was mortified I always do embarrassing shit while I'm drunk.
"Where are you?" I asked
"Sleeping in my car parked outside this huge house, And there is a crappy red truck next to my car." Jacob said
"No freaking way you're parked outside the house that I live in! Hey don't hate the truck." I exclaimed and Jacob laughed
"Awesome I'll be at the door." He said still laughing I was pumped my car was here no more subway woot woot! I practically ran out of my room bumping into someone wet in the process but before I hit the floor iron arms grabbed me I opened my eyes and it was Edward shirtless with a towel wrapped around his waist. Why is it that every time I see him he is shirtless?
"Watch where you are going asshole." I said and it took every ounce of my self control to push away from him I'd rather be in his arms. I went downstairs and opened the door.
"Jake!" I screamed happy to see him it looked like he was going to hug me but I turned away I'm not ready for anyone to touch me.
"Wait I'll be back I have to get something. And by something I mean high." I said whispering the last part and Jacob nodded I went upstairs crushed some oxycontin and ate it. I cut myself releasing all of the emotional pain that was building up since I last cut myself I wrapped it in a bandage and went downstairs I was surprised to see Rosalie talking to Jake.
"She's a walking STD I would stay away from her." I heard Rosalie say oh fuck no
"What the fuck?" I said to Rosalie
"Just explaining to your little friend here that you are a backstabbing slut and how you slept with your best friend's boyfriend and cheated on your boyfriend. And not to be surprised if she sleeps with you tonight. Oh yeah to be carful because, you are a walking STD." She said with a bitchy tone and smiled I just wanted to wipe that smile off of her face I was about to punch her in the face I extended my arm back but Jacob caught me hand and it was centimeters within her face I gave him a what the fuck face but then smiled Rosalie looked scared.
"Come on Bella lets go before this turns into a full on fight." Jacob said and practically dragged me out of the room into the next room.
"Sorry you had to hear that. I made some mistakes but that was in the past." I said looking down at the floor
"Seriously I was about to punch that bitch in the face. If you didn't attempt to do that before me but I stopped you because, she would probably get your ass in jail." Jacob said he was so understanding.
"Holy shitballs batman." Jacob said and I laughed then said what.
"You have an indoor heated pool and a Jacuzzi?" Jacob asked
"I do?" I said questioningly then turned around to where Jacob was starring and I saw through a glass door that there was a pool. We went through the door and a blast of warmness hit us.
"This is so fucking awesome" I said looking at the pool unexpectingly Jacob picked me up bridal style and I panicked at his touch but I tried not to show it. He won't hurt me I chanted to myself.
"Into the pool for you." Jake said with an evil smile on his face and threw me in I emerged from the water and laughed.
"I'm so getting you back Jacob" I said and got out of the pool and tackled him into the pool.
"Damn you should be in the NFL." Jacob joked and I laughed well 7 months of self defense helps me. After about an hour in the pool we got out and dried off with towels. I said bye to Jake as he left and I turned around to go to the living room to see everyone on the couch waiting for me.
"Umm hi?" I said and everyone was starring at me Rosalie looked at me eyes red like she'd been crying.
"What is your fucking problem Bella. I just got off the phone with Renee and she could barley talk because, she was crying so hard. And Rosalie told me that you almost hit her." Emmett said
"Yeah I'm actually sad that I didn't get to punch her in the face." I said
"This isn't a joke" Emmett said
"Emmett she deserved it she called me a walking STD" I said and Alice started laughing
"Well it is true you've probably slept with a bunch of people: Alice said and Rosalie gave her a high-five and everyone started half laughing I felt like the air has been punched out of me. And I was standing there speechless.
"You know what fuck this fuck life." I said back to them and ran out to my truck I noticed there was a note in my truck I gasped when I opened it I knew that hand writing from anywhere It said "I'm coming for you Bella not now but eventually." I started hyperbentalating when I read it. I couldn't stop the tears that started flowing I turned on my car and drove and kept on driving with tears down my face. I turned on the radio and Welcome to my life by simple plan came on as I started to listen to this I realized that it related to my life so much.
(AN: Bold is Bella's thoughts)
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Yes all of the time
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you who could understand what I've been through
Doyou ever wanna runaway? I have 3 times
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming Good idea no more screaming into pillows
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt I hurt emotionally all of the time
To feel lost I don't know what to do
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down Kicked when I'm down yea after the worst thing that happened in my life 'the incident' all of my friends and brother abandoned me at my time of need
To feel like you've been pushed around Pushed around more like punched around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you No one cares about me enough to save me from Phil
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else? I want to be the old Bella
Are you sick of feeling so left out? Left out more like shunned
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate? I hate being called a slut
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding This line relates to my life so much
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face Phil lied to me when he said that we were just getting a gift for Rosalie
No one ever stabbed you in the back All of my friends left me alone talk about stabbing someone in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay Happy?!?!? I'm nothing near happy
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my suckish life.
I had to pull my car over because, I was crying so hard
Dear Diary,
I got called a walking STD. But also got a compliment from Jacob kind of he said I should be in the NFL for my mad tackling skills.'No one knows what its like to be me to be kicked when I'm down'But I'm just going to let fate take its course
From the NFL and walking STD Bella
I decided to let fate take its course I went back on the rode and shut my eyes tight and just stomped on the gas.
DA DA DAAA I think this chapter needed dramatic music so anyways Review!