I sat back and began singing to myself. Larten was still asleep and I was in his coffin with him so I had to sing quietly so I didn't wake him up.
I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
I sang but what I did not realise is that Larten had woken up.
I keep on looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts, their all around me and I don't
see an easier way to get out of this
Her diary sits by the bedside table
The curtains are closed and the cats in the cradle
Who would have thought that a boy like me could come
to this.
He joined in for the chorus, both of us singing quietly so we didn't wake up the other vampires in the cells next to us.
I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away
I should have walked away
He cried out at the end and I realised why. How stupid could I be. The lyrics to the song were (I just died in your arms tonight)
"I am so sorry, I didn't think about the lyrics." I said as I pulled him into a hug. He was shaking uncontrollably. I stroked the back of his head and also his back.
"It's okay, calm down." I said as comfortingly as I could. He wouldn't stop crying. I had an idea. I could sing to him. But what song was comforting enough for him. I got it. 'I'll stand by you'
I began quietly.
Why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes.
Come on and come to me, now.
Don't be ashamed to cry.
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you.
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you.
He stopped shaking but he was still crying. Larten looked up at me singing to him and gave me a slight smile then waited for me to continue.
So if you're mad get mad.
Don't hold it all inside.
Come on and talk to me now.
Hey, what you got to hide.
I get angry to.
Well I'm a lot like you.
When your standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
He nuzzled back into my chest and we just lay like that until he spoke.
"Thank you."
"It's ok. I wanted to stop you from shaking."
"Darren, do you want to get some food?" This surprised me because he hadn't gone out of his cell to eat or feed since Arra died. The only time he had been out of his cell was yesterday when he went to his and Arra's hall and when he went to her funeral.
"Yeah sure. Come on."
I got out and gave him a hand. He gladly took it and I pulled him out.
"Um Larten, could I borrow a shirt? You kind of drenched mine." I said with a smile.
He smiled back and threw me a black shirt. "Have a black one, that way if I start crying on you it won't be that noticeable." He laughed a bit then went sad again. I saw one lonely tear come from his eye.
"Larten, do you want me to get you some food and you wait here?"
He shook his head. "No. I think it will be good for me to get out and be around people again."
"Ok. But get changed first. Your shirt is covered in tears as well."
"Wait, I haven't cried on myself."
"They are not your tears, they are mine."
"Why were you crying, I mean not to sound rude but you didn't even know...Arra."
"Yeah, I know I didn't know her but I don't like seeing you sad and when you cry it makes me cry just a little bit."
"Aw, Darren I wish you would have told me I could have kept my crying to a minimum."
"No. When you grieve you have to cry, a lot. I only cried last night because you were crying in your sleep and I tried to calm you down but you wouldn't stop."
"I am sorry."
"No. Larten, you don't get it. I don't mind if you cry, actually it is better because I know that you are releasing pain and not holding it in."
"But I am making you cry."
"Larten, I cry at anything. I cry when people die or when I see people I love crying. So it's ok."
"Thank you again Darren, for helping me through this. You have been a tremendous help. You have helped me get over Arra but I know that there is more tears to come."
"Can I tell you something? You have to promise not to get mad."
"What is it?"
"I don't think you will ever truly get over or give up Arra, because really you don't want to."
"You are right I don't want to give her up but I need to get over her."
He took off his shirt and put a fresh one on. And without a word he walked over to me and went through the door. Once we got out he put his arm around my shoulders like a father would and I placed an arm around his waist and we continued walking. We met no one on our way. We opened the doors to the food hall and entered. It was nearly empty. There were a few vampires at a table but they didn't seem to notice we came in. We sat down and ate a lot of bread and broth. I spotted a table with jugs on it and walked over and took the jugs over to the table that me and Larten were on. I set them down and gestured for him to take what he wanted. He peered over then and took the one containing blood. He drank his full and looked around. I took the blood from him and drank how much I needed and looked to where he was looking. He stared at the stone wall with names of vampires carved on it. I followed his gaze to one name in particular. Arra Sails. I thought he was going to cry again but he just turned away and looked at me a said "Let's go." I could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. I followed him through the mountain to his room. He went inside and sat on the lid of his coffin were he put his head into his hands and sobbed. I went and sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. He moved closer and put his head into my chest once again. I wrapped my arms around him and stoked his back.
"Darren?" Larten said between cries.
"Yes?"
"Why did she have to die?"
I was stomped. "I don't know. Life isn't fair nor is it kind."
"I miss her so much Darren."
"I know, I know."
He clung tightly to me like he would never let me go.
"Darren, promise me something."
"Anything."
"Never leave me, and don't let me leave you. I don't want to lose you as well."
"You won't, don't worry, I promise. Larten, you are the only one I have and I can't live without you."
He cried more at this. I could feel tears coming to my own eyes and instead of acting hard and keeping them in, I let them fall freely and soon we were crying into each other's tears until there was knock at the door.
I got up, dried my cheeks and answered the door.
The man on the other side was wearing a shirt and trousers and looked surprised.
"Can I help you?" I said as politely as I could.
"I am looking for Larten Crepsley."
I moved my hand that was on the door a little so the man could see Larten. He was now standing and he had dried his tears but his face looked red and his eyes were a bit puffy.
"I am Larten Crepsley. Can I help you?" He managed to say.
"Yes, I understand that Miss Arra Sails was very close with you and you must still be grieving but someone needs to clean out her cell."
"Ok I will be done by the end of the night."
"Thank you." The man was gone. He must have flitted.
"Larten? Do you want me to come?"
He simply nodded and walked over to the side of the cell were he kept his metal chests. He signalled for me to carry some of them and I picked up three of them.
We walked out of the cell and I let Larten lead the way. We got there and he opened the door and gulped. This was going to be so hard for him. The room even smelt like Arra. I saw a tear roll down his face and onto the floor. But crying wasn't going to stop him he had to do this. For Arra and for himself. He started with things on her desk. It was only things like ornaments and pens and things but that still made him cry just a little bit more. He packed away the contents of the desk and moved over to her wardrobe. He opened it and started gently taking out the clothes and folding them and putting them into the chests.
"Darren, could you please strip the bed for me whilst I sort out the wardrobe."
"Sure."
I walked over to her double bed and took the blankets off it and folded it up as neatly as I could. I picked up one of the pillows and I found a diary. Arra's diary.
"Larten, what should I do with this?"
"Just put in the chest with the things from the desk please."
I did as he told me but as I did something fell out. An envelope. On the front it said, To Larten.
"This just fell out and it is addressed to you."
I passed it to him and he opened it. "Could you read it out for me, you know I cannot read."
I nodded and took it from him.
This is all that it said:
Dear Larten
I still love you. I wish to be mates again. Please think this over.
Love Arra
I read the letter out and he started to cry again.
"Is that all of it?" He asked me between cries.
I flipped the page over and found a sketched picture of them. They were holding hands at what looked like an alter. They were smiling hugely, they both looked so happy.
"There is a photo, well a drawing on the back."
I once again handed him the paper. He looked at it and smiled and his tears decreased.
"This picture is of mine and Arra's mating ceremony. I drew it shortly after and I left it behind when I left her here."
"It is really good."
"Thank you."
He folded the picture up and put it back into its envelope and put it in his pocket. We gathered up the rest of her stuff and we headed back to his cell.
Once we got there we found Seba waiting for us.
"Are you ok, Larten?"
"I have been better, but I have been worse. Thanks to Darren I feel a lot better."
"Good. Why do you have chests?" He asked as he pointed to the chests we were carrying.
"We were just at Arra's old cell, we had to clear it out." Larten went sad again, and Seba put a hand on his shoulder.
"You are dealing with this better than expected. I am proud of you."
"Thank you Seba." Larten said as he placed his hand over Seba's one.
"I must be going. I will come and see you again in a few days. Good bye."
"Good bye." Larten replied.
"Bye" I said.
"Actually could I quickly speak with you please?"
"Sure."
"I want to thank you for looking after Larten. I cannot imagine how much he is hurting right now. Arra and him were extremely close, they were never apart, until he left her."
"Why did he leave her?"
"I do not think it is my place to say. You should ask him."
"Ok, bye, Seba."
"Good bye."
I walked back into Larten's cell and he was staring down at one of Arra's shirts. He brought it to his face and kissed it gently and then cried into it. I walked over and put my arms around him. He cried into the piece of clothing and I rubbed his back while he wept. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"Do you want me to leave you too rest?"
He shook his head and buried his head in my shoulder again.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him curiously.
"Arra dying in my arms and that letter."
"Larten that is why you are so sad, because you keep thinking about the sad things that have happened. You need to think of all the good times."
"Like our mating ceremony and our first dance."
"Yes. Exactly. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Okay. Our first dance was around 160 years ago. We were both 20 years old and still half vampires. It was our first council and we were both really nervous. I could not keep my eyes off her. I thought she was the best person in the whole world, I still do. Then the festival started and we met when I asked her to dance. She accepted, we danced to 'Hallelujah' by 'Leonard Cohen'. It was amazing. We played that song at our mating ceremony. And... Thank you Darren. Thank you so much." He said and pulled me into a big hug, but this time he was crying because he was happy for once. He was happy for the first time since Arra died. But I knew it wouldn't last. I knew the tears would never stop falling. Never.