Whoa this is the 14th chapter I didn't even realize that I had written 14 chapters for this story well enjoy this chapter
Isabella Swan we are sorry to inform you that… Jacob Black has been wounded severely he is the ICU in our hospital on the base. He has been shot twice on his back right shoulder usually this isn't am injury that kills but he has lost a lot of blood and his body has an infection from the wound. We are not sure if he will make it or not we will notify you as soon as his condition changes.
I stood there stunned in shock I didn't know what was going on. I tried to re-read the letter but every thing seemed blurry as tears streamed down my face I couldn't make a sound and I wasn't sobbing because, there was no sound that I could make to express how much pain I was feeling right now. The pain was getting to be too much for me Jake was the only guy that I kind of trusted since the incident. I couldn't stand the thought of him dying if he died I wouldn't be able to handle it he was the one that was stitching my heart up after Edward broke it he made me feel better, happy almost like the giant whole in my heart wasn't there anymore. I needed Jacob he was my life he kept me together whenever I felt as though I was going to fall apart. Oh god I felt like I was going to puke. I emptied the contents of my stomach in the trashcan next to the mail box I wiped off my mouth and subconsciously wrapped my arms around my torso and walked up the long driveway as I wiped the tears away from my eyes the cover-up that covered the dark red circles under my eyes came off. The red circles under my eyes is a withdrawal symptom that should go away when I am healthier. Ok Bella you just have to keep it together until you reach the elevator so no one will notice anything is wrong. I took a deep breath swallowing my tears and made myself stop crying I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath as I opened the door.
"Hey Bella what took you so long?" Jane asked and I shrugged not trusting my voice I noticed Edward, Jasper, Steve, Rosalie, Alice and Tanya were in the room.
"We are all going out to dinner to some fancy smancy restaurant along with Renee and Phil want to come?" Jane asked that's why everyone was so dressed up and everyone was looking at me hoping that I'd say no. I bit my lip and shook my head no and turned around towards the elevator every ounce of my strength not to break down crying. I gripped the letter in my hand and walked over to the elevator when the doors opened Emmett was in there he stepped out and said
"Shit I forgot my wallet." And stepped back into the elevator. I swallowed the lump in my throat tears threatened to spill over as they stung my eyes. Why did Jacob get hurt he was such a good guy I can't even think of losing him this was so hard for me to open up to a guy and when I did he ends up in the ICU fighting for his life. The next thing that I did was unexpected and I couldn't believe I did that unable to take the pain I turned around and leaned on Emmett's chest as tears spilled over.
"What the-" Emmett said but I interrupted him with my sobbing he realized that I was crying he wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his shirt.
"Shh Bella" Emmett said trying to soothe me as we walked out of the elevator I haven't cried this hard since Phil raped me Emmett led me to his room and he laid on his bed and I sat down next to him and sobbed into his chest a little bit later Emmett tried to get up but I sub consciously clung to his shirt he sighed and I heard him talking on the phone.
"Yea Jasper I can't go to dinner" Emmett spoke there was a long pause and he finally said
"Just tell everyone I'm sick." Emmett said and I cried for who knows how long my eyes were dried out tearless as I continued to dry sob. Some time later my violent sobs turned into whimpers then eventually all sound died down.
"Who do I have to kill for making you cry?" Emmett asked
"He might be dead soon so…" I trailed my voice so hoarse from crying that I didn't even recognize my own voice.
"Jacob, my friend is in critical condition he got shot twice in Iraq and they don't know if he's going to make it." I said my voice cracking at the end.
"Oh" was all Emmett said
"I'm sorry that I ruined your shirt" I glance at Emmett's nice white dress up shirt stained with tears
I got up and looked in the mirror I looked terrible like I have been crying for hours my eyes were blood shot and puffy my nose a little red from crying my hair was a little messed up so I pulled it back in a pony tail.
"Mhm" Emmett just mumbled I was so frustrated he wasn't being himself around me I wanted the things to go back to the way things were when all I worried about was weither or not I'd be forced into going shopping with Alice and Rose versus when I'd get my next fix or how to avoid Phil, I missed how Emmett and I could have conversations for hours he always un attentionally cracked me up always busting out the jokes knowing Emmett he would have probably said something about how he looked like a penguin in his suit , I miss my relationship with Ed- with Edward I loved him so much he was my perfect other half everything just felt right with him I miss my old life, my old friends, having no worries.
"Yeah cause I just ruin every fucking thing." I exploded
"Bella, we all know how this is going to end we are going to end up screaming at each other then you storming off. So lets not bother trying to talk this out." Emmett said his eyes dark and for once he was not smiling
"Emmett I want to talk this out I miss you." I admitted on the verge of tears
"Bella I think that you are just overly emotionally right now because, of what happened to Jacob I don't think that you mean this." Emmett said just after he said that Rosalie and Jasper walked in.
"Emmett I miss you" I repeated separately saying each word slowly. Ignoring them Emmett looked torn he knew if he said that he missed me too that Rosalie would turn on him but I knew deep down inside that he missed me too.
"Well I don't" He said coldly and his words stung
"Yeah I get it Ho's before Bro's" I said beyond pissed
"You just don't get it." Emmett said
"Yes I do, you don't have a clue about what I've been through Emmett"
"Please explain because, I don't know how hard it was cheating on Edward and backstabbing your friends." Emmett said and I just wanted to slap him
"Wow Emmett its nice to know how whipped you are you can't even say what you really want to say because, Rosalie is here." I said to him our conversation was so intense it seemed like we were the only ones in the room.
"That's not true." Emmett denied
"I know something that is true that you are a slut." Rosalie chimmed in talking to me
"Yeah I'm just a freakin whore a good for nothing slut." I spat and walked out of the room I was a slut it was all my fault that Phil did the things he did to me
"She's pathetic" Rosalie said as I left
"Rosalie she's had a bad day lay off." Emmett said defending me They were screaming and I could here them from my room
"She's a slut." Rosalie whine-yelled
"She's my sister." He said sternly
"And I'm your girlfriend." After that I couldn't hear anything but they were still arguing just quieter so that the whole world couldn't hear them. I took my razor and sliced my arm I cleaned up the blood and bandaged the cuts. My cutting was getting out of control most of my arm was covered in cuts pretty soon there would be no room. I fell asleep trying to forget what happened today.
Dream…
"Stop" I whimpered and started to panic I didn't want my first time to be with him I wanted it to be with someone I loved and I was not ready to sleep with anyone
"Phil no stop" I kept on saying but he kept on going
"I said stop" I said trying to push him off of me but I was too weak compared to him he was hurting me and I kept on saying no but he kept going into me I was feeling so much pain down there that I started to cry he finally got off of me I lay there limp like a rag doll he took my innocence, raped me.
End Dream
"Bella wake up" Someone said as they shook me I bolted up and started breathing heavily
"Bella are you ok I heard you screaming" Emmett asked
"Just a nightmare can-can you stay here with me until I fall asleep?" I asked him shaken he nodded and laid next to me
"Good night Belly-bear"
"Good night Emmy." I said and fell asleep when I woke up Emmett was still next to me snoring I still had nightmares (I do every night) but they weren't as bad. I whacked Emmett playfully with a pillow and he shoot up.
"You were snoring" I teased
"I don't snore" Emmett pouted and I laughed I felt weird laughing I haven't meaningfully laughed in a while. Emmett left to get breakfast. And I took out my journal and wrote
Dear Diary,
Jacob might be gone forever he got shot and is in Critical condition at the ICU in Iraq I I can't even think what life would be without Jacob. My cutting is getting worse and so is the nightmares I just one night I can be nightmare free. Well Emmett is finally being nice to me…….YAY WOOT WOOT oh um anyways today was bitter sweet I found out terrible news but Emmett is finally treating me like a human being and considering my feelings.
From, A bitter sweet Bella
My Phone started to ring and I didn't recognize the number so I picked up
"Hello?" I said
"Hello this is Jacob Black's sergeant here to update you on his condition…" He said the sound quality was really bad my heart sped up as I waited for the answer.
How'd you like that chapter I know it was a little short but eafhakasjhfkj anyways I will probably update when I get 300 plus reviews around that range but how'd you feel about
The deep depressing thoughts about Jacob
How her cutting is getting worse/nightmares
How Emmett comforted her when she was crying
OH and I might start giving sneak peeks of upcoming chapters!!!
Long reviews/suggestions appreciated! I love to read everyone's reviews/ hear there thoughts.