HEY! I got this chapter out fast(well faster than usually) so please review I take all the time to read the reviews and I love hearing your ideas/suggestions for the story!

Previously…"I know how to make this date 1000 times better" and then he passed a bottle into my hand and it had oxycontion pain killers in it. I started sweating something I so desperately wanted was right there in my hands…

I broke out into a cold sweat I needed drugs it seemed like every cell in my body wanted it I needed it. Everything would end if I just took it the withdrawal symptoms… my thoughts wondered.

"Look I can't be around this stuff anymore and I can't be around people like you." I said forcefully the bottle stuck to my hand like glue it was hard to give it up but I shoved it in his hand and started to walk away.

"Bella" He called but I kept on walking not looking back I hopped in my truck and started to drive it took every ounce of my strength not to turn back and get the drugs from him. When I went to the house Jane was dripping with water so was Jasper and Alice and they were in their swimsuits.

"How was your date?" She asked

"Here do me a favor take my keys and don't give them back to me until the morning even if I beg you." I said handing Jane my car keys if I had them I might give in and meet James to do drugs she gave me a confused look then shrugged. I got a cup of water and power chugged it. Edward walked into the kitchen and my heart skipped a beat I still loved him but he moved on, he hates me and wants nothing to do with me.

"Did you like the movie?" I asked him timidly and he seemed shocked that I was speaking to him he looked to see if there was anyone else in the room because, he probably thought I was asking the question to someone else he just ignored me and I sighed my phone suddenly began to ring and I saw the number was James so I ignored it it rang again and Edward shot me an annoyed glance. I answered it.

"Bella" He started

"Look please just don't call me bye." I said a little fast and hung up because, Edward was in the room and I didn't want him hearing any of this he heard what I said and I felt his green eyes burning into the back of my head as I was filling up my cup with water my phone rang again.

"Damn it" I muttered and fumbled trying to take out the battery but I finally got it out. I felt like crap still I needed drugs these withdrawal symptoms are too much for me. These could all go away if I just called him… I ran my hands through my hair and leaned on the kitchen counter, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath then went upstairs. I sat down on my bed and looked over at the mirror I looked terrible I was sweaty had black-purple circles under my eyes thanks to the lack of drugs, I didn't look like myself anymore I didn't bother trying to make my self look nice ever since the incident I looked fragile, sick, and depressed I wasn't me anymore I was just a shell of a person that I used to be this is not Bella, Bella went upstairs at that party last year and never came back.

I stumbled and got my razor and made a cut on my arm and I didn't feel better I just felt worse so I cut another mark into my skin this was not working I was still feeling all of my mental pain I bit my lip and made the final cut still nothing I cleaned up the cuts and crawled into my bed not bothering to change into my pjs. I thought to myself how did I get here how did I become a drug addict, with a depressed personality that just shuts people out, how'd I become such a mess and the worst part about this is that even if I tried I can't get past what happened to me I just can't. I drifted to sleep and woke up from yet again another nightmare but this one was worse it was like I was re-living my rape again I screamed into the pillow I kept on screaming and I couldn't stop. Finally, after I ran out of breath I stopped screaming. Is my life always going to be like this? Am I always going to wake up from nightmare after nightmare screaming like this? I wondered my life is never going to get any better only worse I don't want to live like this nothing is making me feel better even the cutting is not helping relieve the pain. Just then I realized that I don't want to live anymore there is no point but I knew what I had to do maybe I could wait until Jacob came back and say goodbye to him. No one would care if I died Renee is too busy planning her wedding with Phil, Rosalie would probably dance on my grave, Charlie is too busy with his work, and Ed-Edward would be happy that I'm not in his life anymore. I'd have to thank Jane though if it wasn't for her then I probably would have done this a while ago.

1 month later

"Bella what has been up with you we barley talk anymore!" Jane yelled "You're like in some zombie mode it's like nothing affects you anymore you never get happy or sad it's like you just have a Numb feeling."

"I have to meet Jacob at the airport." I said in a monotone voice Jacob was coming back today

"No Bella you always do this when I try to talk to you. What happened to you in the last month you don't do anything you don't eat, or sleep, you always wake everyone up with your screaming, and what about Emmett he was being nice to you but you just pushed him away!" Jane screamed at me

"You have no idea what I have been going through." I muttered

"That's because, you never tell me anything! What do you cut again?" Jane whispered the last part she was pissed

"I think it be best if we didn't talk." I said trying to sound harsh but my voice was drained of all emotion.

"That's fine with me" she yelled, went out my room and slammed the door but I followed her out Edward and Tanya was out in the hall probably to see what all the commotion was about.

"Jane wait" I sighed I didn't want my last conversation with her to be bad

"No Bella I'm over this go screw with someone else's feelings." Jane yelled back at me and went down stairs Edward and Tanya was starring at me and I was supposed to feel sad that one of my only friends is beyond pissed at me but surprisingly I felt nothing. I walked downstairs and saw Emmett with Rosalie in the living room.

"Hey Emmett I know that you're beyond pissed at me but…" I started but he cut me off

"Not now Bella I was nice to you I forgave you and you ignored me whenever I tried to talk to you this past month and I'll give you a week to leave." Emmett spoke

"What?" I asked but it sounded more lie a comment

"You haven't paid rent in months you have to leave no one wants you here." He sighed like he was done with me. I just walked out and hopped in my truck and drove to the airport. When I got there the airport was crowded Jacobs plane should land soon I stood up on my tippy toes and gasped when I saw his searching the crowd he was in his military uniform I pushed through the crowd and practically ran to Jacob I engulfed him in a hug he was startled at first then relaxed when he saw it was me and for the first time I felt something I felt happy almost ok.

"God I missed you so much Bells" He said then kissed the top of my head

"Same Jake" I said and tears blurred my vision when I'm gone it's going to hurt him but he'll get over it he's a nice guy he'll make new friends he'll recover.

"I love you" Jacob said when we pulled away from the hug

"You shouldn't" I muttered and his ears perked up

"What do you mean Bella?" He asked

"I'm not a good person Jacob" I tried to explain

"I don't care I love you for being you." Jacob said and I sighed I held his hand and we walked to my truck

"Meet you at your house?" He suggested and we got into separate cars and started driving. At one point I strayed away from Jacob's car and drove to the place that I saw Sam and everyone cliff diving. It took me a little bit but I walked to the top of the highest cliff I looked down at the water and without a second thought I knew what I had to do I flung myself off the cliff…

Can you say cliff hanger hahaha no pun intended so review!

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