Jane Burke watched from the back of the small chapel where her son's funeral was to be held as Cristina advanced slowly to the front of it, and she gasped for air, unable to imagine the pain that Cristina was feeling.
Indeed, it was her son that had passed away, and she was in a great deal of pain herself, but as Cristina told her of the engagement ring that had made itself known in his wake, she felt that Cristina's pain was much more unimaginable.
Cristina took in a deep breath as she advanced towards the open casket and cursed Meredith for the notion that they needed to leave it open. That she needed to see him one last time, since she refused to see him at the hospital.
Tears slowly began to slide from her face as she stood just a few feet away from the man that she loved.
Was it past tense if the man you love if dead? She thought bitterly, the lump in her throat growing larger. She ran her fingers over her ring, over and over again, trying to ground herself to something.
Meredith was at her side, her arm around her waist, pushing her forward. "You have to do this Cristina, or you'll never be able to live with yourself." She whispered to her in a hushed voice.
"Mer, I can't." Her breaths quickened in panic as Meredith brought her closer and closer to all that remained of Burke.
"You can. I'm here. I can help you." She reassured her, in a firm voice.
Cristina closed her eyes trying to gather some sort of composure, and reopened them as her grasp came onto the simple gold band that lay in the pocket of her jacket, pulling it out.
She studied it for a long moment and wished that she had listened to Meredith whenever she suggested having it engraved with something mushy, but she said that it was pointless to do so.
He'd never read it anyway.
She laid her hand over Burke's and she stiffened, her mind wandering to what could've been.
Somewhere, Cristina knew, that deep in her little girl fantasy, she imagined the big ceremonious wedding with the white dress and the veil, the flowers and the music, and the reception where he could pull her close and dance with her, whispering of the night to come.
Somewhere, Cristina knew, that had he asked sooner, had life not gotten in their way, that she would've put up a fight somewhere along the way in the process of the planning of the wedding, just for show.
But secretly, secretly she would love it.
She could see herself, standing before him, their hands trembling nervously as they slid rings onto each other's fingers, binding themselves to the other for a lifetime.
They would've made it. She thought to herself. They would've been together forever, and nothing would've ever torn them apart.
Cristina might've even given into the idea of having a child with him.
But only one.
She grasped his limp and lifeless hand in hers and slid the ring down his finger, vowing that she would never love again.
She could never love another again like she loved Burke.
Tears fell on her dress as she opened her mouth to say the words to him, just one time.
But she couldn't, the words still wouldn't come to her. She tried to force them from her lips, tie her tongue around them, anything, but she couldn't choke out the words, so she swallowed them back down, with her bitterness and sadness, wiping the tears away.
She laid his hand back down and bent over, kissing his forehead, and walked away.
Jane laid a hand on her shoulder as she left the chapel and she looked to her, sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Burke...about Preston."
"I'm sorry, Cristina." Jane choked on the tears she held back, "About Burke."
Cristina took in a sharp inhale and nodded, then left the chapel, Meredith by her side.
She would not stay for the service. She had said all she could say, done everything that she could do.
It was time for her to heal.