Chapter Four: Lettuce goes out
A/N: Ah finally the best chapter
Disclaimer: You are even more of an idiot than Masaya if at this point you still think I own Tokyo Mew Mew.
Zen-kun: Masaya is not an idiot! And it's Tokyo Mew Ew, not Tokyo Mew Mew!
Arizo: Yeah Masaya probably not and idiot but I still hate his guts!
Zen-kun: What about his body? –is shot with a machine gun-
Arizo: Sorry but Zen-kun will be absent for awhile due to injury
It had come down to this Pai vs. Lettuce, when suddenly Lettuce accidentally knocked over Pai's favorite vase (like the klutz she is) which was sitting on the table.
"You broke my favorite vase…" Pai whispered in his deadly quiet voice which makes grown men want to go hide under the covers and cry.
"I'm sorry Pai-san!" Lettuce started apologizing repeatedly (like the nervous wreck she is).
"Do you think it's just Pai, or is she normally like that?" Kish asked Ichigo.
"Normally, although Pai's influence may have something to do with it." Ichigo answered. "I see…" Kish said as he ate an éclair. (A/N: Arizo: You have got to drop the éclairs or you'll be typing this fanfic from a hospital bed even longer. Zen-kun: Ack! Gomen nasai! Erk! My bullet wounds! –clutches side-).
"It's okay Lettuce-chan." Pai announced. Kish and Taruto stared at him. Kish grabbed Pai by the shoulders and began to shake him. "What's wrong with you!? Has your mind been switched with an alien's?" Kish asked anxiously as Pai raised an eyebrow. "According to them-" He said as he waved his hand in the direction of the other people in the room. "-I am an alien." Kish paused at this comment.
"That's beside the point!" He growled as he shook his comrade more furiously. "If Taruto and/or I broke that vase you'd torture us for hours, days, months, maybe even years!" Kish exclaimed. Pai paused. "Did you just say 'and/or'?" Kish glared at him,
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Comment on how I'm over exaggerating about your sadism!" Kish screamed as the other people in the room covered their ears. Pai narrowed his eyes. "I'm not that sadistic." He said coolly. Everyone else in the room looked at each other. "Um… yes you are." The all said in unison. Pai looked blankly at Lettuce who pointedly looked away.
Inside the torture chamber of Pai's mind:
No! Lettuce thinks that I'm sadistic! I'll die! Noooo
Pai grabbed Kish be the scruff and stared to drag him off. "C'mon, Kish. You're going to be my stress reliever." He said in a disturbingly soft way. "Oh hell no!" Kish began to scramble away from him.
Another five minutes later Lettuce was out despite Pai's best efforts to give her the better cards so she would just win and he wouldn't have to reveal his undying love for her.
"Um, we're out of snacks again." Pai announced, although they still had half the snacks left, "I'm going to go get some more… um… fish mew… help me…" Pai grabbed Lettuce's arm and began to drag her towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, as Lettuce got up and began to walk toward the kitchen being, half dragged by Pai, she rammed into a table knocking it over along with Pai's other favorite vase.
For Lettuce, it was unfortunate that when she fell over, she dragged Pai down with her. They both fell on their sides, about a foot between their faces, and the shattered vase between them. Pai slowly picked up a piece of the vase and examined it blankly. You broke my other favorite vase. He said in a whisper. Lettuce immediately sat up, her face bright red, and began to apologize at high speeds.
"Just how many favorite vases does he have?" Ichigo asked in annoyance as she shoved a (insert food that Zen-kun keeps having people throw at each other) into her mouth. "Just about 50 now… or… I guess 48…" Kish replied as he examined his fingernails. "I'm sorry Pai-sama, I'm sorry Pai-sama, I'm sorry Pai-sama!" Lettuce apologized repeatedly as Pai sat up as well.
He stared at Lettuce distantly, and dropped the broken piece of vase. Pai smiled at Lettuce as she stared deeply into his eyes. Then Pai did something unexpected at least for Lettuce he lifted her up superman style in his arms and continued to smile at her. Which Lettuce took as a sadistic smile. Crap! Lettuce thought. He's smiling at me. That can only mean that he is really mad at me! "Er… Pai-sama?" Lettuce began as she looked away. "Could you please stop smiling at me? It's kind of creepy." Pai stared at her. "ILOVEYOU." He exclaimed as his face turned red, and he kissed Lettuce on the mouth. Everyone kind of stared in shock except for Kish and Taruto, because, they are kind of useless right now.
Kish smirked and elbowed Taruto. "Fork over the cash, munchkin." He said. "Ah well here I only have 1000 yen can I pay you the other 1000 yen when I get the money" Taruto asked handing Kish the money he had. "No." said Kish coolly "You'll simply have to do my laundry five times." "Noooo!" Taruto screamed flinging himself at Kish's feet. "Anything but that anything I beg you!" Taruto continued to sob. "Yeah… um… I don't really like to do laundry so I think that's how you'll pay off your debt."
At that moment Pai stopped kissing Lettuce and she got over her shock and simply fainted in his arms. "Cough up midget." said Kish nudging the still sobbing Taruto with his foot. "But I don't have the money." Taruto wailed "Please! I beg you! Don't make me do even more of your laundry." Taruto continued to wail. "Okay you can just give me foot messages." Kish told him. This idea seemed to scare Taruto even more than the idea of doing Kish's laundry because his screams and wails continued and rose to an even higher level of fear.
"Kish?" Ichigo asked.
"Yes koneko-chan?" Kish asked her.
"You made a bet with the twerp that Pai was in love with Lettuce…?" The cat mew asked.
"Hey, I think she's coming around." said Minto, who had been trying to revive Lettuce who was still unconscious in Pai's arms. Pai looked at Lettuce's face as her eyes slowly opened. She blinked and then turned to Minto. "I had the strangest dream that Pai-san told me that he loved me." She said as Minto grinned. "That wasn't a dream." She said. Lettuce blinked again and then looked up into Pai's face, which was sporting the latest fashion- a bright red color on his cheeks.
And of course, she fainted again. "Erk!" Pai glared at Minto. "Look what you did, birdie!" He exclaimed as Minto put her hands on her hips. "What the heck did I do?" She demanded. "What do you think you did?" Pai shot back. "Nothing." Minto smiled pleasantly which caused Pai to want to strangle her. Kish put his hand on Pai's shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry Pai, we believe you." He said softly as Taruto nodded in agreement. Pai sniffled as he attempted to brush away a tear with his shoulder. "I love you guys." Pai whispered.
Kish and Taruto then clung to each other in fear. "OH MY GOD!!" Kish screamed as he and every other living creature in that room -save for Lettuce who was unconscious and Pai who was the one they were running from- turned and ran from the room. "Okay…" said Pai he took Lettuce over to the couch and placed her there.
Now to stalk those known as Kish and Ichigo…
"Hey, Kish?" Ichigo started, attempting to pick up speed.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think it's okay to leave Pai alone with Lettuce?"
"Don't worry. He's not a pervert like me."
Kish paused.
"I think."
Ichigo stared at him and quickly turned around. "We'd better go back!" She exclaimed. "I can't agree with you more." Kish said as he picked her up and ascended into the air.
"Oi! Let me down!"
"Nah, I don't think I will."
Ichigo punched Kish at this comment.
Back at the secret lair…with Pai and Lettuce…
This scene has been censored because the fluff is far too eye-burning for anyone to stand.
…ummm…okay…
"Pai, stop where you are!" Kish cried as he slammed the door open, Ichigo close behind him. "Eh?" Pai looked blankly at him and continued to wring out the wet towel that he had gotten for the still unconscious Lettuce. Kish just looked at him. "You're not doing anything perverted to Lettuce?" Kish asked, dumbfounded. "I'm not a pervert like you and your mother, Kish." Pai growled as he placed the wet towel on Lettuce's forehead.
"Um… Pai…?" Kish began as Pai whipped around and glared at him. "What?" He snapped.
"Aren't wet towels for people with colds?"
Pai just kind of looked at Kish.
"I don't care what it's for; it's a sign of my affection."
"Yeah. Wet towels. So romantic."
"Shut up."
"Okay, if you excuse me, I'm going to go round up the others."
"Have fun."
Just as Kish opened the door again, Taruto and all the others came bursting through it, panting. Kish blinked for a moment, and then turned back to Pai. "Never mind, they came here themselves." Pai ignored him and continued to tend to Lettuce. Kish looked down as Taruto grabbed his ankle, staring at him. "What… did Pai do… to Lettuce…?" Taruto gasped as Kish crossed his arms.
"Seriously, Taruto. You're so useless." Kish said as he looked off elsewhere. "H-hey! I rounded everyone up for you! You should be thanking me!" Taruto whined as Kish smirked evilly. "Oh really? Than please accept my thank you gift of you giving me three more foot massages." He cackled. Taruto's eyes began to water. "Please! Have mercy!"
Muahahahaha…
Author's notes
Zen-kun: Horray! My special zombie powers have healed me! Let's celebrate!
Arizo: That's what you think you Masaya lover! -pulls out grenade-
Zen-kun: Ack! Please! Have mercy! I'll write the next chapter of Kioku for you!