Chapter 3 Past, Present, and Future
/// indicates flashbacks ///
...... indicates scene breaks......
Tara sipped the remains of her lukewarm mocha, eyeing her best friend with quiet concern.
Initially, Buffy had seemed open to talking upon arriving at the Espresso Pump. They had ordered their mochas, sliding into a corner booth. Immediately, the Slayer had retreated into a silent world of her own. This was nearly 30 minutes ago. Tara allowed the Slayer time to deal with the intensity of events that Tara still had little knowledge of. She knew her friend, however, and knew not to push the Slayer. If Tara pushed too hard, she would get nothing at all from Buffy. She had decided to gently coax the Slayer into at least confiding in her SOMETHING, not matter how small.
Finally, the Wiccan had had enough. "Buffy." Tara's softly spoken plea did not bring the Slayer from wherever she had gone for the last hour, so Tara cleared her throat. "Buffy! Look at me, please. "
The louder appeal seemed to drag the slayer from her thoughts, and Buffy regarded her friend in closed off emotional silence. Tara chose her words carefully. "Buffy, my only thought in bringing you here was to offer my support." Tara took a deep breath. "I would never dream of pushing you for information. Whatever you wish to tell me is fine, is enough." Feeling slightly hurt at the Slayer's silence, Tara murmured, "You are my best friend. My only concern is for your well being."
This seemed to finally stir the Slayer from her self imposed exile. "Look, Tare, I just…I thought I could talk about this, but…it's just too…" Buffy gave a slight apologetic smile and shrugged, returning her blank gaze to the far wall.
Tara gently covered the Slayer's hands, which were ripping her empty cup to shreds. "Buffy. We can go if you wish. From what I sensed and from what you said earlier, it sounded like there is nothing to be concerned about. That's right, isn't it?"
"No, no badness." Buffy took a deep breath, giving a slight smile. Looking down, the Slayer showing a sudden interest in the silver tabletop. Buffy ran a finger along an imaginary line, mumbling "When I reached the clearing, I saw a girl…no, that's not right…a female creature, I guess. I could sense that she was human, but part something else as well. She was beautiful…" Buffy trailed off, lost in the memory.
"And?" Tara softly prompted.
The Slayer shook her head, returning to the present. Buffy switched her gaze to her best friend in bemused reflection. "And, she was lying down by a tree playing that…Peter Pan…uh…flute thingy? I dunno what to call it. I figured since my spidey senses weren't being set off, I would just, ya know, say hi." The blonde squirmed in her seat, making the rubber seat cushion squeak in protest. Tara opened her mouth to speak, but Buffy continued. "I didn't get a chance to talk to her. She disappeared as soon as you came into the clearing." Buffy finished dismissively, shifting her gaze away from the perceptive witch.
Tara was silent for a moment, studying her friend. Something very personal had occurred out there, causing a glimmer of knowledge to form in the back of Tara's mind.
Resolutely, Tara rose from her seat, gathering the scattered remains of Buffy's paper coffee cup. She grasped her near empty cup as well, tossing both into the recycling bin. Tara returned, extracting the surprised tiny blonde from her seat.
"C'mon, Buffy. Let's go back to the dorms."
In order to confirm her suspicions, Tara decided to seek answers on her own. It was time for serious research mode tomorrow. As they left the pump, Tara couldn't help but wonder if she was right, as far reaching as her idea may seem.
This is the Hellmouth, after all.
........
The flickering candlelight and burning herbs spoke of meditation. Not a meditation to seek inner peace and enlightenment, but of knowledge of external events. A knowledge often hoped for in the past, but, in actuality, never expected to come to pass.
Jenny felt that the glass wall she had built, had been shattered into a million tiny pieces. She suddenly felt very naked, exposed; her emotions displayed for all to see.
How she had longed to see Willow again. The joy at the thought, and the fear as well. The paralyzing fear of rejection by the one she loved most in the world.
Jenny abruptly blew out the burning herbs, broke the circle, and gathered the ingredients. Standing, she began the familiar ritual of placing the objects into her small chest located at the foot of her bed. The comforting familiarity helped soothe her frazzled nerves, keep her grounded. Regardless, the woman's hands still shook as she closed the lid.
'First things first.' She decided, gently rubbing her sore, red-rimmed eyes. 'Goddess, how many times am I going to cry tonight?'
Jenny walked unsteadily to the bathroom, and washed her face clear of the tear tracks, purposely avoiding looking in the mirror. She couldn't stand to look at herself; guilt, shame, and self-loathing eclipsed anything else. Feeling more composed and refreshed, Jenny softly padded back into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
The redheaded woman leaned back, rested her exhausted body against the cool of the wooden door. The need to just be, and to not think, was all she wished for at the moment. Her eyes had other ideas, however, as they seemed to wander of their own volition to the silver inlaid music box, lying wide open on her bed covers for all to see.
Jenny slowly pushed off the door, and gingerly sat on the bed, next to the small box. Her hand began to reach for the soft red lock of hair inside its velvet lining, but she abruptly pulled it back, as if she had been burned. Jenny closed the lid with a snap. Her mind began to drift as she stared unblinkingly at the silver top. Unaware, Jenny softly began to trace its intricate design with her fingertips.
Why was Willow here? What was Willow like? Jenny knew Willow was 18 earth years old. While Willow had born in the Glen, Jenny knew the date that would correspond to Willow's birthday in earth years: February 19th, 1981.
She knew Fionn was not here. She would have sensed her lifemate if he was. Oh Goddess, for him to send Willow alone through the Portal meant something was wrong, very wrong. Fionn would never take such a great risk with Willow, and a fear rose within her at the thought of her child in trouble.
Jenny's eyes strayed to the phone, torn. What on earth would she say to Rupert? He knew nothing of Willow and her existence. Should she something to him right away, and be subject to his disapproval and condemnation in keeping yet another secret from him?
What about Buffy and Tara? Surely, they had encountered the residue of the left over magicks from the Portal. Does that mean that they had encountered Willow as well? Jenny really didn't want Buffy to know about any of this. The redheaded woman knew she would face the same condemnation from Buffy, even though it was none of the Slayer's business. Whether Buffy wanted to admit it or not, she saw Giles as a father, and protected him as such.
Unable to make a decision regarding Rupert, Jenny knew she needed to get to Sunnydale as soon as possible. Her only comforting thought was that she had sensed no immediate threat to Willow.
Jenny abruptly rose, grabbing the first clothes she saw hanging in her closet. She dug out her small red and yellow duffle bag emblazoned with the words " Sunnydale High Razorbacks" on the side. The duffle bag may have been nearly two years old, but it was still in good condition. She hastily tossed it onto the bed, and began to shove the clothes inside the pack without care.
Jenny stole a cursory glance around the bedroom. Satisfied, she zipped up the bag, lifting it with a grunt.
She turned to leave, but stopped as she spotted the music box lying amongst her strewn bedclothes. Taking a deep breath, Jenny slowly reached over, and, gingerly picked it up.
Neglecting to turn off her house lights, the frazzled woman rushed out into the night, with a precious package cradled securely in her arms.
.........
Neither the soft bedroll, nor the twinkling stars brought any sense of tranquility to the Halfling. She lay on her back, using her hands as a pillow, and stared up at the night sky. Her emotions, her thoughts…everything…was consumed with the chance meeting with the beautiful girl warrior. No, not just a beautiful girl: her lifemate.
The Halfling broke out into a silly grin over this thought. What they had shared silently was so intimate; spoken words were an unwelcome intrusion.
A wonderful idea suddenly occurred to the Halfling. Sitting up, she reached to her left, and pulled her soft, durable pack onto her lap. The redheaded creature opened the drawstrings, and searched for her most treasured possession. The Halfling had never shown this to anyone; not Pan, not even her Father. When she had begun the second cycle of life, she had found her treasure. One day in the woods, the Halfling had been traveling along the creek trail when she had noticed a small object glittering through the ferns. She had gingerly walked over, and had carefully pulled apart the ferns, only to see a small blue marble. It had been so beautiful as she had held it in the palm of her hand. The marble had glistened in the sunlight peeking through the tree's branches, so incredibly soft and smooth as the Halfling had run her thumb across it. For some reason, she hadn't want to share this small treasure with anyone; she had wanted something that was just hers, and hers alone.
The Halfling had proceeded to take the blue marble home, and had hidden it in a sacred spot only she was aware of. The spot had changed over the years. Finally, the Halfling had decided that she always wanted to carry it with her, so she had put it in her soft pack she had received as a gift from her father at the Age of Maturity.
Now, she felt the urgency to find the marble. She wanted to give it to her lifemate as a token of her love. Impatient, the redheaded creature simply stuck her arm in the pack, not removing the other items in the bag. Searching deep inside her pack for the secret sewn in pocket, she broke into a smile as she located it. The Halfling's thin fingers nimbly opened the pocket, feeling the marble brush across her fingertips. She frowned as she came upon something else entirely: a small folded piece of parchment.
Slowly withdrawing the carefully wrapped parchment, the Halfling wondered who had discovered her secret place, feeling a flash of anger at the intruder. Her name was written upon the surface: in English. The Halfling recognized her father's writing, wondering why he wrote her name in English instead of Elfin. Her father had taught her the language from her mother's people in secret, beginning in the early half of her first cycle of life. She could read and write the language well. The Halfling realized her pronunciation might not be right, as she learned from her father who knew it only as a second language from her mother.
The Halfling studied the durable writing skin thoughtfully. She puzzled over the slight bulge in the rectangular shaped parchment. What was her father doing in her pack? Had he done this just before she had left? It had only been 5 rotations ago that the redheaded creature had taken the blue marble from her pack to look at it. Another flash of anger went through the Halfling at her father's intrusion. This spark of resentment, though, quickly dissipated at the knowledge that he would never do this without good reason.
All thoughts of her treasured blue marble forgotten, the Halfling gently opened up the parchment. It contained two letters, both sealed magically. One was addressed to her, and the other…the Halfling's eyes opened wide in surprise. The other was addressed to Jenny, presumably her mother. Releasing the magical hold on hers, she opened the parchment up, and read the letter.
My Daughter Willow,
I know you must be angry with me for invading your sacred place, but it was only done out of necessity and safety.
I beg your forgiveness, daughter, as I have not been completely honest with you. When I knew I had to send you through the portal, as you are aware of, I specifically asked the Elder to send you to the forest close to the human village known as Sunnydale.
I remember how enthralled you were as I told you the stories about your mother while she lived here in the Glen. I realized that you knew little of her life before the Glen. This was for your safety.
When I presented you fully into our Clan, it was apparent that you were a Halfling. Most had assumed that your mother was from the mountain pastures that were tended by the human shepherds. Yes, there were a few who were suspicious, but they never pursued questioning me, or the Elders on the matter.
When your mother was sent through the Portal, I made an oath to the High Council that no one be told of her origins. Consequences of the breaking of this oath were dire. As a result, I told you as little as possible. I did, however, break the oath to the extent that I told you when you reached the Age of Maturity that your mother came from another Time and another Place. Even telling you that amount was a great risk.
I loved your mother dearly. I still do, for she is my lifemate. But, she is also your mother. I am still unhappy with the decision that was made for you to grow up without her, but, at the time, the decision seemed to be the right one. Our first thoughts were for your safety, and everything we did was for that reason.
These explanations lead me to now. As you know, I have sent you through the Portal because of the Drow Clan seeking to cleanse all of the Halflings. There is another reason. There is an innate power lying hidden within you. When the new earth comes into being, your power will make itself known to you as well as to others. The Drow have discovered this, and are fearful that your power will be so great that you will be able to destroy them. Therefore, they have sought to destroy you before your power comes into being.
The Elders became aware of your innate power just as you reached the Age of Maturity. At first, it was thought that we would keep you hidden until your power came into being. But, as soon as the Drow became aware of this, it became clear that you needed to be sent some place safe until the powers manifested themselves. Thus, it was decided to send you through the Portal. Myself and one of the Elders are the only ones aware of where you were sent.
I sent you to Sunnydale for one reason: to find and seek protection from your mother. Your mother's earth home was Sunnydale, and when she left us through the Portal, she returned there. My hope is that she is still there, and you are able to find her, as soon as possible. I have enclosed a letter for you to give to her, and her alone. Enclosed is a lock of her hair that you can use in a locating spell. Do this spell ONLY at night. Only parents and their children are able to use this magick to find each other. If she is not in Sunnydale, you will still be able to find her.
Continue to do as you were told before you left. Talk to no one, and stay hidden in the forest. I am confident that once you find her, she will do as I ask.
I, and others from our Clan, will return through the Portal as soon as we are able. I am not sure when this will be. The Portal will most likely open up in the same place you arrived. Your mother has instructions on how to detect our arrival.
Your mother's full name is Jenny Calendar. Even without the locator spell, when you meet her, you will instantly know that she is your mother.
Take care my daughter, and I will see you as soon as I am able.
Father
A slight breeze rustled the parchment in the Halfling's lightly freckled hands, bringing Willow back from her daze, upon reading the letter from her father.
.........
Giles replaced the phone to its cradle, removing his spectacles to rub his creased brow. Talking to Buffy some days was an almost certain guarantee of a headache.
He knew Buffy was holding something back. He could always tell. He realized the Scoobies all considered him an old fuddy duddy and completely oblivious, but, after 3 years, he knew his Slayer well. This included her moods, and her emotional responses.
He had no doubt that she was telling some part of the truth; that she and Tara had investigated the disturbance. He also felt Buffy would tell him that if any danger was still present. But, he could tell there was more to the story. She had found something assuredly. Whatever it was, it was clear she didn't want him to know what it was.
Giles slumped back into his chair, exhausted. He wearily dropped his eyeglasses on to the desktop nearly filled with various texts. Since his conversation with Jenny over the phone, he had poured over his tomes, very curious as to what sort of answer they might deliver.
This had something to do with the Realms, he was certain of it. Had Jenny discovered anything through her meditation? It had been over 2 hours since he had last talked to her. Surely that was enough time to perform her meditation by now. Why hadn't she called him back?
Deciding a hot cup of Earl Grey was in order, he returned his spectacles to his face, and rose from his chair. Giles reached across to pick up his cooling teacup, knocking it to the floor in the process.
"Blast!"
Grabbing a dishrag, he kneeled down, and began to wipe up the liquid, fearing a spot on his rug. Dabbing around the table leg, his hand brushed across a small object. Giles reached around in curiosity, scooping it up. Leaning back on his haunches, his fingers began to thoughtfully play with the small shell in his hand.
/// It was a warm October evening. The couple had just finished an early romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant nearby their small rented bungalow. Deciding a walk would be in order, Giles and Jenny strolled hand in hand along the water's edge in the fading sunset.
Rupert experienced a strong feeling of contentment. There was a sense of rightness with this wonderful woman beside him. She accepted him for who he was. She teased yes, but she never pushed him to be something more than he was.
"What are thinking Rupert?" She cocked her head at him in amused curiosity.
"Ah, nothing really. I suppose just realizing what a lucky chap I am, having you here with me."
Jenny smirked. "Am I turning the stuffy tweed clad Englishman into a cheese ball?"
Rupert laughed. "Yes, I suppose that did come out rather overly sentimental."
Jenny halted their walk, and wrapped her arms around Rupert, smiling up at him. "That's all right. I happen to like cheese every once in awhile." She winked at him, laughingly running away from him as he tried to kiss her.
Rupert smiled as he watched her merrily twirl through the water's ebb, and looked down at his feet. The tide washed over them, sucking away the sand as the water withdrew.
Then he raised his head to gaze at the woman with fiery red hair that matched the flame in his heart, never wanting the night to end. ///
.........
The deep breathing indicated the young Wiccan was asleep, while the tiny blonde Slayer's eyes refused to close. Buffy's stare fixated on the all too familiar crack in the ceiling, as she idly wondered if maintenance was ever going to fix it after being constantly reminded of the problem.
Buffy hated reflection.
If she thought about tonight, that would make it real. And Buffy was too scared to make it real.
In her world, life was too short to reflect on anything at all. She knew there was no promise of the future for her, so why bother with thoughts of the past? The past only brought up pain and regret, while the future only brought sorrow over what she could never have.
She had to live in the now; all that existed for her was the present.
Buffy was action gal. While she would never subscribe to Faith's philosophy of "want, take, have", if the opportunity presented itself, she would take advantage. There would be no weighing of the pros and cons; just do.
Buffy's examination of the crack in the ceiling was interrupted by an incoherent mumble, prompting Buffy to turn her head to look at the dreaming Wiccan. Tara rolled over, facing away from the Slayer, for which Buffy was grateful.
Tired of ignoring the real reason for her lack of sleep, the Slayer stealthily crawled out of bed, put on some clothes, and quietly slipped out the door.
It was time to heed the call of her lifemate.
Her Willow.