Capricious
Chapter 7: Tsunetsuki Matoi
Hochzeitsvorbereitungen auf dem Lande.
While my love was strongest, his was purest. A pure love that reached me suddenly, awakening something deeper than ever before.
Mine is perpetual. Continuing. Heavy. It is the strongest yet most selfish love out there. So of course I change my character to suit the person who owns my heart- it is an apology for being so selfish.
But I didn't even realize the reason. Because other loves were selfish too. Less reaching.
Unrequited love is said to be the purest love. And just as he was filling romantic ideas into my mind- a double suicide with Takeshi- he admits to me his love. And leaves, allowing me to be with Takeshi. For me to be happy at the expense of his own.
His love reached me, though. Such a pure love. A stark contrast. And from then on, it was different. I was no longer fickle. He was the purest, truest man I'd ever met, and I was set on becoming his wife.
He can sleep like a log some nights. Other nights he will shift restlessly and cry out. Such a poor tragic man, those nights I would think about how much good a wife could do for him. I at least could do the domestic chores for him. In apology for being so selfish.
There was often silence between us. I was quite content in that. It made the times he called for me even sweeter. And if he was in a good mood, he would put down his guard enough so that I could steal a silence, only for him to become rowdy, yelling that I was a pervert. He must realize that as future spouses, a kiss here and there is not uncommon.
Our honeymoon was to be among the tombstones. I will not grab at a selfish life. For him I will spend my honeymoon among the tombstones.
But I thought we were going to be together.
And now he lays upon the tombstones alone.
"Give him back!"
The wall is as it always is except it is now my last contact with his life. The red blood is all that remains. "You monsters you monsters!"
Give him back give him back please, please...just give him back...
Hunched over. There are no sounds besides the echoes of sobbing, hysterical, heavy sobbing. A figure behind me shifts their weight from one leg to the other, watching intently. Another figure takes a step.
"Oh, so you were here this whole time. Do you want to join him?"
God in heaven, yes I do. "Do to me what you did to him...I will lay with him among the tombstones!"
The figure brings something resembling a cleaver to their face. "What was done to him was not very pleasant, you see. It took him a while to be an is not! I'm surprised you only just realized now...I suppose even you have to sleep!"
"Monsters..."
"Wah, of course not. A monster, something I've only heard of in stories, or seen on television! They can't be so close, can't possibly be so close."
"Monsters..."
More sobbing. Preparation. "Kill me like you killed him...with my last breath of life...I won't be selfish! Do it, you monsters!"
The sobbing ended a long while later.
A/N: Hochzeitsvorbereitungen auf dem Lande: German phrase that means Wedding Preparations in the Country. It is an uncompleted work by Franz Kafka depicting the journey of the groom, Raban, travelling to meet his future wife Betty in the country. The intention was to make the story into a novel, but only fragments of the piece were found, published by Kafka's friend Max Brod.