Disclaimer: See Chapter One
A/N: I did my best to cut back the generous helpings of sap I had originally wrote, but you will most likely still feel the urge to visit your dentist afterwards. ;) Enjoy!
~ indicates silent communication between Buffy and Willow ~
......... indicates scene break ........
"Galad" means "light", and "Mor" means "dark" in JRR Tolkien's Sindarin Elfish language.
Chapter 4 Acknowledgement and Acceptance
The garish neon sign of Penny's Diner glared out at Jenny so bright it made her eyes wince.
It was 2 in the morning, and although the place was a below par greasy spoon, UC Sunnydale students liked to frequent the place on their way back to the dorms after clubbing in L.A. It was an interesting mix of big burly truck drivers and college kids coexisting in the same spot.
Finally finding a place to park, Jenny turned off the engine, not moving for a moment. She steeled herself for the inevitable: calling Rupert. Jenny climbed out of the car and, spotting a payphone, made her way over to the rapidly becoming archaic instrument.
Lamenting the fact that she had left her cell at home in her haste, Jenny dropped the coins into the slot, one by one.
........
Generally, Giles was a low-key individual, leaving the emotional rolling coaster of Ripper behind with his youth. A Watcher needed emotional restraint to deal with any circumstances in regards to his Slayer. Demons, Prophecies, Apocalypes: each needed a cool head to face such obstacles.
Buffy had tested his emotional distance more than once during the past 3 years. Hell, she tested it the moment he met her. Buffy had dared him to prepare her for her loss of any semblance of life. She was to be denied any mainstays of youth, such as friends or a boyfriend. Family ties were to be sacrificed to do her duty as a good soldier in continuing the fight against evil. Buffy was given no choice in the manner. And, last, but not least, she had dared him to prepare her for a young inevitable death.
The arrival of the Scoobies tested his control once again. The Slayer should work alone, he had argued. Buffy fortunately had ignored him. Tara and Xander were the reason Buffy was still alive. Tara and Xander had also challenged his resolve and in some strange way they had all become a family. Giles, in his own stuffy repressed British Watchery way, was deeply fond of each of them; not that he would admit to that. Especially to Xander. But, he knew they were aware of his unspoken feelings and that was enough.
Jenny Calendar was the one that really broke through the walls he had built for himself. Giles was finally given permission to be just a man, and not a stalwart father figure. So, it was no surprise, that one phone call from Jenny had left him an emotional mess.
The ancient tomes and scrolls now lay abandoned. His faithful books had let him down. Giles held such high respect for them; the Watcher in him thinking the answers to any particular puzzle lay within its pages. The unflappable Watcher had finally succumbed to the sentimentality he so valiantly tried to repress.
Giles was wearing a hole in the carpet from the amount of pacing he was doing. As he did so, the many questions plaguing him throughout the night began to run rampant; hating himself for this, but unable to stop the flood of intense feelings. Like a mantra, the same questions replayed in his mind, always leading to the one thing he could never shake: the safety of the woman who still held his heart.
RING, RING
He nearly knocked the phone cradle over in his haste to answer. Fumbling with the phone, he finally managed to hit the talk button. "Yes, erm, hello?"
"Hello Rupert, it's Jenny." The anguish in her voice was so tangible he felt he could reach right through the phone wires to touch her.
"Jenny, um, I was wondering what was happening. I haven't heard from you, and I had begun to be concerned."
'Concerned is an understatement,' he thought wryly.
"I need you to meet me at Penny's Diner, right outside Sunnydale." Jenny hesitated. "You know the one, where we-"
Giles cut her off, not wanting to delve into memories anymore than necessary. "Yes, I remember where it is."
"Can you come meet me here? There are... some important…things…I need to tell you." A sharp inhale came through loud and clear. The normally down to earth woman, the logical computer teacher was missing, only to be replaced by a person he hadn't encountered since Angelus. The nervous, frightened woman who had finally revealed her darkest secret to him, knowing their relationship would never be the same. He wondered at what she was hiding now. But really, was it any of his business anymore?
Giles briefly pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to control his emotions. "All right. I'll be there as soon as possible."
"Thank you, Rupert. Goodbye."
"Goodbye." He hung up the phone, wiping his brow. Grateful for the chance to actually do something, Giles swept up his keys, grabbed his coat, and headed out the door into the waiting night.
........
When the Halfling was very young, unbeknownst to her father, she would sometimes cry herself to sleep. She loved her father greatly, but there was always a sense of great loss in her life that left her wanting. And now she would be coming face to face with that yearning.
Willow was excited but full of trepidation as well. What if her mother did not wish to speak to her? Her father had spoken of her mother's kindness and love for the Halfling but what if that no longer existed? Willow knew that it had been eighteen earth years since her mother had last seen her and her father.
Since elves lived well into what humans would term as an average of 180 years old a time span of Willow's age was considered to be quite short. However, the loss of witnessing the growth of one's offspring during one's life cycle was viewed as a cause for extreme distress and sorrow. Willow wondered if her mother felt these emotions as well.
The Halfling had reread her father's letter twice. It seemed almost too much to take in. Willow had latent magickal power? She understood his reasoning for not telling her, but Willow experienced a small amount of hurt that he had not.
The Halfling blinked, her attention brought back from her stunned state, recalling her need to perform the spell to find her mother. The redheaded creature realized that there was no lock of hair contained within her letter in order to perform this incantation. Perhaps it had fallen?
The moonlight, so bright earlier, had dimmed due to the scattered clouds floating past the moon. Without the moonlight, Willow, despite her keen eyesight, needed help. With a flick of her wrist and a mumbled, "Galad" a small twinkling light appeared.
She searched her lap, her bedroll, and the grass surrounding her with no success. Her eyes strayed to her cloak cast off to the side. It seemed unlikely, but she made a thorough search of it just the same, wielding the expected nothing.
Willow bit her lip in thought. This was so unlike her father. If he said something would be there, it would. There was no doubt in Willow's mind to this truth. He was always thorough, especially on important matters. And this certainly was worthy of that sentiment.
The redheaded creature began to rummage through her satchel. Willow withdrew each item, gently laying them on her bedroll. Out came, among several other items, her one change of clothing, a small crossbow, a compact tough leather tube of arrows, her flute, miscellaneous tomes, a small kit of magickal herbs, elfin bread, and a dragon skin flask of a liquid called miruvor.
On the eve of Willow's journey she had slipped in a flask of the warm, invigorating cordial. It was only served on special celebrations, but Willow had enjoyed the taste so much that she had decided to secretly appropriate some for herself. Her 'rationale' for such an act had been the pretence of keeping herself warm on her journey. Truth be told, the drink was just too tasty to leave!
Willow's main source of nourishment was elfin bread, also known as lembas. One small bite of this bread was enough to last one for a full days travel, and, if used sparingly, can last one for months at a time. It gave one renewed strength for the journey. The bread needed to stay in its original leaf wrappings, however, to fully sustain its sustenance and to reap the benefits. Willow was appreciative of these qualities, and happily enjoyed the flavorful bread. It was thin, soft, with a browned outside and filled with a delicious cream. If one found a bit of honey to dip it in so much the better.
An Elfin knapsack, unlike human packs, was deceptively small. Although deeper and able to hold more things, the pack itself was always light. Elfin magick created this illusion. It was of great advantage whenever an elf went on a long journey. Traveling was made easier, not to mention any curiosity of strangers met along the way. Potential thieves were ignorant to the properties of the pack, and therefore dismissed the seemingly light, empty pack as of little value. Even if a potential thief focused their attention on the knapsack, elfin magick created a sense of compliancy to no longer entertain any notions of stealing the pack. The thief would simply return to their previous activity, ignoring the urge altogether.
Coming upon her blue marble, the Halfling nimbly gathered up the treasure, slipping it into the pocket sewn inside her breeches. Willow's eyes twinkled. Her gift to her lifemate was safely tucked away for when the beautiful girl warrior came for her.
A momentary feeling of shame washed over the Halfling at her sudden shielding from her lifemate. The appearance of the female mage had flustered The Halfling, prompting the instinctive reaction. Regardless, it was an act that was frowned upon by her clan in the Glen. Shielding was used only to protect oneself or one's loved ones from attack, and most certainly, not to used to block the presence of one lifemate to another. However, many of the younger elves had used the shield in playful time with their mate. The conservative King was against such a practice, but Queen Rhiannon privately encouraged such mischief, leading to what she thought was a part of the natural mating rituals-as long as it was all done in fun.
The Halfling frowned, a feeling of indecision filling her. She could feel that the mage was filled with white magic, that she was indeed a very good powerful mage. But her father's caution resonated in her ears. Her father's warning had been so great that she had felt frightened by it. She had never seen Fionn, the great warrior, so afraid than when he had sent her through the Portal. Just that very thought frightened the Halfling more than anything.
Yes, she thought with a firm nod of her head, she had done the right thing in performing the shielding. The Halfling knew enough about the mating ritual to know that she would soon see her lifemate as the pull of them being together would be too strong for the girl warrior to resist. The Halfling had felt it herself but was able to restrain herself from seeking the girl out, simply because she knew the girl would come to her. This time, the Halfling would not shield herself from her mate when the girl arrived.
This wistful reflection ceased as her careful examination of the scattered miscellanea yielded nothing. The Halfling let the bag fall to her side in defeat, abandoning her fruitless search throughout the empty pack. She simply stared at the barren sack and the strewn contents, wondering what she was going to do.
Willow shook her head to clear the haze and noticed the parchment lying beside her, forgotten in her quest for the elusive strand of hair. Sheepishly, the redheaded creature magickally sealed the note from her father. Such an act would have precipitated a scolding from her father for letting something so important lay astray.
Once Willow had magickally sealed her and her mother's letters within the larger piece of parchment, she placed it back into its hiding place. The Halfling then restored the items to her pack, purposely foregoing the flute lying by her side. Her task complete, she tightened the knapsack's drawstrings. Willow then instinctively planted her knapsack on one side of her bedroll, resting alongside her dragon skin flask of Elfin Spring water.
The Halfling brought her hand back, seeking out her flute. Her fingers caressed the smooth wood Pan had used to make the musical pipe, a small smile on her face. With a mumbled, "Mor", the redheaded creature stretched out on her bedroll, crossing her ankles, now only lit once again by the waning moonlight. Willow closed her eyes and placed the flute to her lips, playing a nameless tune.
The music brought comfort from the mystifying intense revelations. Willow let her conscious mind drift. Nothing existed for The Halfling except for the lilt of the melody washing over her, instilling a sense of peace and pleasant memories of her true home.
........
The Slayer knew where she was going, even if Buffy didn't. She traversed the forest with ease, stepping ever so lightly through the tree branches, rocks, and assorted shrubs. The Slayer cocked her head, as if to listen to an unheard melody. She smiled when she found the tune, and continued on her way.
........
Giles' citreon chugged its way into one of the diner's parking spaces. The Englishman turned off his engine, applying the parking break. Giles hesitated and steeled his resolve to maintain a dispassionate demeanor, despite the emotional scene he was sure would ensue. He leaned back and removed his spectacles, leaving them to dangle in his hand.
'Bloody hell, Rupert, get a grip on yourself, old man. She doesn't need some pathetic chap, sniveling over why she obviously had been hiding more things from him, just because…'
Giles ran a hand roughly over his face, irritated with himself. He drew a deep breath in an effort to regain his composure, and returned his glasses back to his face. The Englishman grasped the door handle, ready to leave the car when he caught a glimpse of a beautiful distraught redheaded woman in the diner front window at a booth. As Jenny slumped forward, her head held her hands, Giles felt his resolve crumbling at the sight.
"…just because, mate, you're still in love with her." He whispered to the empty car.
........
At last, the Slayer arrived at the same spot when she had first seen her mate. Her breath caught upon seeing the enchanting creature that was hers, and hers alone.
........
Jenny was so lost in the swirling thoughts of her conflicting emotions that the clearing of a throat couldn't cut through the haze.
She started at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, abruptly releasing her grip on her head. The redheaded woman glanced up to see a tall Englishman with salt and pepper hair, gazing at her with concern. For the first time that night, Jenny felt a wave of relief and safety wash over her.
Oh, how she missed him.
She sat up, smoothing her hair, placing some stray strands behind her ears. She motioned to the booth seat facing her. "Rupert. Please. Sit down."
The Englishman slid into the booth. He began to lean on the table when he abruptly pulled back as if burned, and reached for a napkin in the dispenser against the wall.
"Blast!"
Jenny hid her smile, as he accidently pulled out a large amount of napkins out of the overfull dispenser. Rupert wiped the table down with his array of napkins, trying unsuccessfully to put the wad smoothly off to the side, as it stubbornly refused to stay in the small ball. He switched his regard towards the distressed woman.
"Jenny-"
"What can I get you?" The bored bedraggled waitress asked in-between gum chews. She posed with one hand on her hip, an order pad in her other hand, and a pencil behind her ear.
Rupert gave the waitress a perfunctory glance. "A cup of Earl Grey, please."
The waitress just stared at him like he was from another planet.
Rupert rolled his eyes at her ignorance, with a mumbled, "Bloody Colonials." Louder, he answered, "A cup of whatever kind of hot tea you have will be fine."
She shrugged and ambled off.
Rupert shifted his attention fully towards Jenny, who fought the urge to squirm in her seat at the piercing of his gaze.
"There are things…" Her voice dropped, "things that I need to tell you about my time spent in the Neverending Realms. I haven't discussed them with you because I have considered them to be very personal." One hand unconsciously drifted down to clutch her oversized handbag. "But…considering the recent events…well, the situation is such, that I need to be reveal everything about my past to you."
A cup of tea with a generic tea bag, the string hanging on the side was placed in front of Rupert, who scrunched up his face in distaste. The coffee pot outstretched, the waitress asked Jenny, "More coffee?
Rupert placed his hand above Jenny's cup. "No, thank you. Just the check, please."
"Rupert-" Jenny started to protest.
The waitress raised an eyebrow in annoyance. She no doubt wondered why she had even bothered to bring him tea in the first place. "Do you want this tea in a to-go cup?"
"No, thank you. Just the bill if you would, please."
"Fine. I'll be right back." The waitress gave a slight roll of her eyes before turning on her heels, marching off.
"Rupert, what are you doing?" Was he not even going to listen to what she had to say? "Rupert, I need to tell you this."
He leaned in towards Jenny. "And you shall." Rupert's voice was low, but firm. "I don't believe it wise to continue this conversation in public, do you?" His eyes fixed into hers, as she returned his gaze in irritation.
Despite his earnest tone, Jenny was aware of the underlying caring. Secretly, she was grateful for it; it all seemed easier to let him take the wheel. If Jenny drove, she would send the proverbial car over the cliff.
Still, though, the exasperated woman couldn't help but wonder just where the hell Rupert expected to go to have this conversation. The car? The Sunnydale Arms Motel? Jenny clung onto her handbag. Their staring match came to an end as the waitress returned.
"Here ya go."
The waitress loudly smacked her gum as Rupert fished his wallet from his suit pocket. He leafed through it and handed her a five, telling her to keep the change from a $4.60 bill. The waitress looked disgruntled and abruptly turned, stomping away.
Rupert climbed out of the booth and raised an expectant eyebrow, extending his palm. Jenny hesitated, and then blew a wisp of hair from her face. "Fine."
Clenching her shoulder bag, her hand reached out for his.
........
The Slayer watched her lifemate through the clearing in the foliage, playing a lilting, at times wistful, tune on her panpipe.
Buffy was surprised her arrival went unnoticed. As Buffy had neared her destination, her lifemate's emotions had become clearer. It was almost like tuning in a radio station, the signal growing stronger with each passing step. Buffy sensed that her mate was troubled, despite the creature's drifting conscious thought.
A brief flicker of insecurity ran through the Slayer, and she wondered at the absurdity of it all. How did this creature hold such power over her; the overwhelming urge to climb out of bed in the middle of the night just to seek this creature? But, what frightened her most was how right it was, like it was always meant to be.
........
~I'm afraid~
Her mate's voice seemed to echo from everywhere and anywhere: left, right, front, back, inside her body, outside her body.
~You are safe~
Willow rose, and approached her mate slowly. The beautiful girl warrior was so skittish, seeming ready to bolt at a moment's notice. The Halfling stopped, a hand's breadth away from her lifemate.
~I have something for you~
Willow reached inside her pocket and withdrew her treasure. The Halfling held it in front of her, the smooth blue marble in the middle of her soft palm. Willow concentrated on putting all of her love into her offering. She shyly smiled upon seeing her mate's eyes widen in amazement as a blue glow spread forth from the marble.
~Here, take it. It's my gift to you…~ Willow paused, whispering aloud, "Buffy"
Willow experienced a bashful, pleasing sensation from the tiny blonde, flowing through their shared bond.
~Thank you~ Buffy gazed up into the Halfling's eyes with the softly spoken acknowledgement of her mate. "Willow."
Buffy's fingers reached out to tentatively touch it, jumping when the stone turned into a fairy. Willow grinned as she saw the fairy, for the first time realizing why she had been drawn to the marble and the significance the fairy brought to their union.
"Wha-What is it?"
"It is a fairy." Knowing that Buffy had no knowledge of the mating rituals in her world, she related, "When it appears in a gift between two mates, it is a symbol of the approval and acknowledgement from the goddess of the bond formed. We have the blessings of my world."
"Oh." Buffy swallowed. "Um, does this mean it's gonna follow us everywhere?"
"No, but she will always be near, protecting us, protecting our union. And," Willow blushed fiercely. "uh, children if we have them. "
"Children?" The Slayer balked. "Uh, I hate to break it to you, but, considering we are both girls, it will be kinda difficult to do that." Another thought crossed the Slayer's mind. "Um, you do have the whole female anatomy thing going on, right?"
Willow blinked, startled by the question. "I am half human, and elves have the same anatomy as humans. So that means I have the same as you…well, maybe not the same in truth since we are two different…um…girls...but I am a female, and you are a female, although both of us could be described as young women by your world-"
Buffy smiled in spite of everything, interrupting Willow's embarrassed rambling. "Do you do that often?"
Willow's face scrunched up in confusion. "What?"
"The babbling."
"Oh! Well, sometimes. It is harder to do in this language. Back in my world, my friend, Pan, would stop me by playing his pipe." Willow gave a sad smile, missing her dear friend. "It was always the same tune. He refused to teach me the tune, saying no one could use it. He teased me, saying it was his right as a nymph in dealing with an elf. Then he would giggle, and I would chase him through the pasture."
The Slayer grinned playfully at Willow, her distracted mind dismissing the strangeness of chasing a nymph in a meadow. "Well, I think it's cute."
A deep red flush covered Willow from the neck spreading up through her face, her eyes bashfully returning to match The Slayer's gaze.
Buffy abruptly broke their steady, warm regard. The feeling of being overwhelmed resurfaced, causing the blonde to sharply inhale. "Okay, so same girl parts," she exhaled, muttering to herself. The Slayer ran a hand through her blonde locks, her brain still stuck in neutral by the entire situation. She glanced at Willow, slightly shifting nervously on her feet. "So, well, that brings us back to the whole women thing and no sperm. Plus, um, we just did the together thing, and I am sooo not ready for children."
"Mates of the same sex are not unknown or unwelcome in the Neverending Realms." A slight blush returned. "And children come from all matings, through elfin magic."
"Oh." Buffy paused. Then her eyebrows shot up. "Even guys?"
"Male joining for children is somewhat different than ours."
"I bet." Buffy snorted. "So, we're clear on this right? Like no children right now?" Buffy sighed in exasperation, her unbelieving gaze aimed at the night sky above. "Oh God, I can't believe I'm even HAVING this conversation."
Her eyes suddenly went wide as her mind finally kicked into high gear, her head snapping back to stare incredulously at her mate.
"Wait! ELFIN MAGICK? Elves really are real? You mean to tell me that not only am I dating a girl, I'm also dating an elf?"
........
Without thought, Willow placed her palm over Buffy's heart, somehow knowing that it would soothe her mate. The Halfling's hand seemed to glow with a bright beautiful light, its warmth calming the Slayer's fears.
........
Buffy instinctively placed her own palm over her mate's heart, her own hand glowing with the warm light. A phantom hand, emerging from Willow's physical one, entered Buffy's body to touch her mate's soul and Willow felt the intimate touch returned.
A swirl of images and emotions permeated her being. She was experiencing everything that made up the life of her mate. While the images were too fast to discern faces, names and dates, Buffy could only sense the emotions involved in each: the emptiness of growing up without a mother; the happiness at the pride expressed from her father; the friendship of Pan; the fear at being sent to Sunnydale all alone; sadness over when she would see her father again; the confusion at her father's letter, and her mother in Sunnydale; fear that her mother wouldn't want to see her; joy that she would meet her; and finally the love and happiness she felt as she found her lifemate, Buffy.
Buffy was amazed at this connection. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced, even with Angel. The bond she had shared with Angel led her to believe that Angel was her soulmate. When things got tough, Buffy would shut others out. She had opened up to Angel during these times but throughout it all, she now realized, she had still held back, believing as the Slayer, ultimately she had face things alone Now, Buffy no longer felt alone. She finally allowed someone to truly see inside of her; to reveal herself. She was literally baring her soul to this creature.
Buffy's emotions connected to a series of blurring images as they spew forth from the Slayer: the disbelief and condescension she felt towards Merrick when she was first told she was the next slayer; the overwhelming guilt and shame in the role she played in Merrick's death; the love and happiness she feels for her friends Xander and Tara; her numbness from her death at the hands of the Master; the love for Angel, and the searing pain by his rejection after they had made love; the resolve and detachment needed to kill her ex-lover, turning into devastation as Angel's soul returned, and she had to send him to hell in order to save the world once again; and the deep hurt over the betrayal of her only father figure, nearly causing her and her mother's deaths all in the name of duty to the Council.
Unaware of the passage of time, they eventually released their link, each slowly withdrawing her hand from the other's chest. Buffy's hand slowly rose, and her fingers caressed Willow's cheek lovingly, speaking softly, "Willow."
The Halfling shyly smiled, reaching up to cover Buffy's hand in her own. While holding Buffy's gaze, she brought the fingers to her lips, sweetly kissing them.
Willow gently entwined their fingers, and brought the linked hands down to rest by their sides, not releasing their hold on each other.
The Halfling hesitantly lifted her free hand, brushing her thumb tenderly across Buffy's cheeks. The Slayer closed her eyes, feeling gentle kisses placed upon each eyelid. Willow's thumb moved to caress her lips with the barest of touches. Buffy opened her hazel eyes, staring in wonder at the tender gaze coming from emerald green.
Their faces inched closer and closer until Buffy could no longer count the numerous freckles on her mate's face. They unclasped their hands, and Buffy brought her hand up to touch the fiery red hair. It was so silky, so soft as she wove her hands through the strands. She felt the gesture returned as her lifemate thread her own fingers through the Slayer's blonde mane. Their mouth's met, in a sweet, languid kiss; her mate's lips tasting like strawberries and cream.
Buffy's tongue traced her mate's lips, with Willow willingly opening her mouth. As their tongues met Buffy swallowed her mate's cry, instantly returning a low groan of her own. The Slayer's arousal grew as she leaned in to deepen the kiss, grabbing her mate's waist firmly with one hand to pull her flush against her own. She strained to get as close as she possibly could, feeling Willow's hands wrap tightly around her own waist. Buffy reveled in the feel of her mate's soft, supple curves, their bodies now molded from hip to chest.
In the back of her mind, Buffy felt a sense of surprise at the realization that she didn't miss the hard body of a man. She used to love pressing up against the hard body of Angel, but this was different; wonderful, really. And with that knowledge, she physically let herself truly go, laying aside her protestations of heterosexuality with the knowledge that it really was okay to allow herself to enjoy both.
Buffy couldn't say for certain when it had occurred but there was a vague awareness that they were laying on top of each other, over a soft bedroll. One hand made its way inside her mate's shirt. Her hand brushed past smooth warm skin as it made its journey to her mate's breast. The moment Buffy cupped her mate's breast, a surge of heat and desire spread through her, and she was lost.