I love summer break. So much time to write.

Once again, I do not own OTH

Thanks for the reviews.

I wake in the hospital. I vaguely remember the ride as Jake drove, and carried me into the Emergency Room. My chest felt like it was going to explode. I couldn't catch my breath and it hurt so much. It all hurts. I look around the room. It was still all a blur, being rushed into a room, doctors talking and asking me questions. The last thing I remember is being given a shot and being told that it would help me relax.

I close my eyes and listen to the noises coming from outside of the room. The door opens and I turn to see Jake walking in. He smiles "How are you feeling? You really scared me." Jake says as he sits in the chair beside the bed.

I can't believe that I put him through this. I look over at him and sigh, "I'm so sorry Jake. I shouldn't have come. I didn't mean to bring you into my messed up life."

He sits forward in his chair. "I'm glad you're ok and you are always welcome here. I care about you Peyton." He looks at his watch. "I'm sorry Peyton, but I need to go. Nikki has to get to work and I need to get Jenny."

I nod my head, "Yeah, of course. Thanks, Jake. Tell Jenny I said hi, ok?"

Jake grabs my hand and looks into my eyes. "I will. Peyton… I called Karen, she wasn't in, but I talked to Lucas. He… Um, is coming down to get you. He should be here in a few hours." I nod and turn on my side, facing the window and away from Jake. "Bye, Peyt. I'll check in with you later." Is all I hear as the door close and Jake walking away from me and the mess that is my life.

I lay in silence, alone for a while. A nurse comes in and changes the IV bag, checks the machines, writing results on her mini computer. She asks a few questions and I respond with one-word answers. She tells me that the doctor will be in soon.

I watch her walk out the door and move to face the window again. Jake said he called Lucas. I don't know how to deal with this information. What am I going to say to him or anyone for that matter. I hope he hasn't told anyone else about coming to Savannah for me. I sigh and turn on my back as the doctor walks into the room.

"Ms. Sawyer, I'm Doctor Nichols. How are you feeling?" he asks while looking through my chart on his mini computer. Man the medical field has gotten technical.

"Ok, I guess" I reply.

"Well, Peyton. Lets go over what happened." He sits in the chair next to the bed. "You had a panic attack. Mr. Jagielski told me that you have been under a lot of pressure lately. Is that true?"

I nod, "yeah, you could say that.

The doctor makes a few notes and continues. "You were given a dose of Lorazepam. This helped control your heart rate and bring you down. A Karen Roe is here and would like to see you. My understanding is that your father gave her legal access to tend to your medical needs. Is that correct?" he asks.

I reply with a nod.

"Ok", the doctor continued. I have additional information to discuss with you. Do you mind if Karen is included in this conversation?"

"Yes, that's fine." I say as I sit up and adjust the bed.

Karen walks into the room. I see concern on her face as she walked to my bedside and leans down to hug me. "Peyton, I am so glad you are alright. I was so worried about you." She says as she sits in the chair next to the bed. "Dr. Nichols says that he wants to go over some things. Is it ok that I am here? I only want to help you. I hope that you will let me in so I can do that." I nod and give a small smile. I can tell that Karen really cares and will do almost anything for those she cares about.

The doctor comes back into the room. "Ok, Peyton came into the ER in the middle of a panic attack. She had server heart palpitations , shortness of breath and chest pain. I'm sure it felt like you were having a heart attack." I look at Karen and nod as he continues. " From what Mr." he looks at his records. "Jake, Jake Jagielski" I insert for him.

"Yes, that's him. He mentioned that were under a lot of emotional distress. I think it will be beneficial for you to see a counselor, talk about some of these issues you are facing. I can give you some names of people who work with in the area."

Karen speaks up before he can continue. "Actually, we live in Tree Hill North Carolina, not here in Savannah."

The doctor looks at his records. "Oh, I see that now. I have contacts that will be able to suggest some therapist in Tree Hill as well. I don't know.." I interrupt.

"I'm actually seeing someone already." I look at the doctor, avoiding the surprised look on Karen's face. "Yeah, I mean. I've just met with her once."

"Good, that's good. Dr. Nichols responds are he makes a few notes. "Talk to her Peyton, Let her know what is going on, what happened here today."

Dr. Nichols clears his throat and looks at me. "Peyton, I have to talk to you about something else. It's personal and if you want Karen to leave we can talk privately." He looks at Karen and back at me.

I can feel myself start to panic. What else would he want to discuss that is more personal. I look at Karen and she looks worried too. I take a deep breath and decide that I need help and so I will let Karen stay. I am just realizing that she may be the only one who will be able to help me and I see that I will have to tell her about the attack. I don't think she would tell anyone else.

I look at Karen again and say "She can stay."

Dr. Nichols dives right into the issue. "Peyton, did you know that you are pregnant?"

Karen looks from the doctor to me. I look at her. "No. I… Um… I can't be." I'm shocked. I didn't even think about that.

Dr. Nichols looks at the chart again. "The test came back positive. The pregnancy levels, HCG are low, you can't be very far along. That is way your wouldn't have known yet. You been sexually active, correct?" He asks looking at me.

"Yes" I respond with a nod. I can't believe this. I can't be pregnant. I can't have his baby. Wait. Suddenly it hits me. His baby. Whose baby? I don't even know who the father is. I feel myself going numb. I feel like I am falling apart. "No, this can't be happening. I can't have a baby. I can't have his baby." Tears fall from my face as I turn away from Karen and face the window.

I hear Karen and Dr. Nichols talking about prenatal appointments and needing to get prenatal vitamins before the doctors leaves the room.

Karen grabs the water pitcher and pours me a glass. "So, I'm not going to push you, but you know that I am always here for you Peyton. So, please talk to me. I know things have been difficult with Brooke and that it has to do with Lucas, and that is making it harder to have live in the same house as him." At the mention of the couple I tense up and Karen notices the change. "Then there is this new information, which we will put on the back burner for now." Karen sits in the chair, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Peyton, I don't know what happened between you and Brooke, but I know that she has been quite the sneaky little bitch." I turn and look at her. "Oh, you know I love Brooke, but she is in the wrong." Karen continues to talk, She is insecure, asking people to choose sides, and making it very difficult for you in your life at school as well as in the community."

"I know." I look up and say "She actually told them they had to choose a side. I not only talking about Lucas, Haley and Nathan, but the kids at school, all of my so-called friends or acquaintances. It's Team Brooke or Team Peyton." My eyes fill with tears again. I can't believe that I actually have any fluid left in my body with all my crying. I turn towards the window again and quietly ask the question that I really don't want to know the answer to. "Is there anyone else here?"

Karen sighs, no I came alone. Lucas knows I'm here and what happened because Jake talked to him. I told him to stay home and not to tell anyone else for right now. He has been so worried about you too."

My eyes meet hers. "Thanks, Did you call my dad?" I ask.

"Yes, he is going to call you tomorrow when he docks in New Orleans. He's not sure when he can get home." Karen says

The tears start rolling down my face as I turn my whole body away from Karen, curling in to a fetal position and closing out the world to focus on my pain. I hear Karen say, "I'm so sorry. Peyton, you know that he loves you."

I ignore her last words and she sits back in the chair.

"Karen" I say.

"Yes" she replies.

"I don't want to see Jake. I mean, if he comes back. Please tell him I'm sorry… I'm just not ready to deal with him."

"Ok, I'll tell him" Karen responds.

Karen waits until she thinks that I am asleep before dialing a number. I hear "Lucas It's mom" as she walks through the open door. I try to listen to the hushed words in the hall. "We're coming home tonight… Just make sure all of her stuff is in the attic… Lucas, I don't care what you think. She wants the attic room, so that is where she will stay. Also, I don't want anyone at the house for a few days… Yes, the includes Haley and Nathan… She needs rest and I think I said too much about Brooke… Well that she is being a sneaky bitch, wanting all of you to choose sides and actually choose her side and cut Peyton out… No, Lucas. She is. You can't deny it… I may be old, but I'm not blind and I hear about the on goings at Tree Hill High. Listen, I got to go. I will call you when we leave Savannah."

I hear Karen walk back in the room and turn to look at her. I am not sure if she's aware that I overheard her, but she just smiles and tells me that she is going to look into getting me discharged and walks back out of the room looking for the nurse.

I sit up in my bed and think about how my life is going to change again. I feel better knowing that Karen is there to support me. I just have to learn to deal with what has happened to me and with the news of the baby.. I really need to get into a doctor to see if I can narrow down how far along I am. I really don't want to deal with having Lucas Scott's baby, but I would rather the who world know what a back-stabbing whore I am, having my best friends boyfriends baby than having even one person know that I was having Ian Banks baby. A baby that would be the result of the rape I didn't want anyone to know about.