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Disclaimer: I don't own OTH!

The drive back to Tree Hill from Savannah as uneventful; It was late and the drugs they gave me made me pretty tired so I slept all the way home.

I heard Karen call Lucas and tell him that we were on our way home and that we would be home late. She also called Jake and agreed that my car was safe with him until the following weekend when he would drive it up to Tree Hill. Luckily I hadn't packed my stuff in my car and Lucas had been able to grabbed my bags from my house and bring them to my new room at his house. At least it will be mine for a little while.

I spent the next few days hiding from the world of Tree Hill. I made it into the attic room that night at Karen's and I haven't left with the exception of the few times I went to use the bathroom. I ignored Lucas when he came up to talk to me and only spoke to Karen when I needed to. Karen had told Lucas that company was not allowed for a few days, and she had personally told Haley that I would call her when I was ready to talk.

I spent this time laying on the bed, listening to music and drawing, but even my passion for drawing was low. I couldn't stop thinking about how messed up I am and I am not sure that I have the ability to pull myself out of this. I have huge, life altering decisions to make and not a lot of time to make them. I know it is only a matter of time until Karen does her motherly confrontation.

I wasn't wrong, the morning of the third day Karen got tired of waiting for me to come to her and came to me.

"Peyton" She called as she walked into the room. I sat up on the bed and pulled out my ear buds and turned my iPod off. "Peyton, I've given you time to yourself, but now it's time to start coming out of hiding. The longer you hide away the deeper you are going to fall and eventually you will be so deep you won't know how to climb out. You have too many things going for you to be hiding away in a room, barely eating and sleeping. So, before you get sucked in, we are pulling you out of this funk." I adjust myself on the bed and Karen sits down next to me. "I know you and I know that I can't force you to talk to me, but I am here for you whenever you want to talk. Now, we need to talk about expectations. You will go back to school tomorrow, I've called the school and told them to expect you and Lucas is collecting any missed assignments that the teachers can gather for you. Hopefully you won't get to far behind after missing these past few days. Second, I expect you to eat meals with Lucas and me. No more skipping meals, you are too thin, which brings in the next topic." I nod and wait for Karen to continue. "We need to talk about your pregnancy, Peyton."

I look up at her and nod. "I was hoping that you forgot about that little piece of information." I say while playing with the earphones on the iPod.

"Sorry, No such luck. I may be old, but my memory is still there." She adds with a smile. "What are you thinking Peyton, believe me I know how huge this is. I've been there, hell I'm there now. Even though I'm old this time, this was not planned and once again, I'm alone in raising this baby without its father. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand what you are going through." She takes a deep breath. "Peyton, do you know what you want to do? Have you thought about your options? Have you talked to Jake?"

"I… Um… Jake… I don't understand. Why would I… Oh, you think… Jake isn't the baby's father." I finally spit out after realizing that was what she was thinking, but what do I do now. What do I tell her? "I just, I don't know what to do. I… I'm… there is so much stuff involved. I 'm not sure what I'm doing. I… How am I going to tell my dad? He is going to be so mad Karen." I turned and looked at her with tears in my eyes. "I keep ruining everything. This will be too much, I don't think I can handle this."

Karen grabs my hands into hers, "Peyton, you are going to be fine. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will. Your dad will be disappointed, but he will be there for you. I will be there for you. I know you feel like your friends won't be, but I have a feeling that they will also be there to help you through all of this." Karen takes a deep breath. "I just assumed that Jake was the father. I'm sorry about that."

I can tell she is trying to find away to ask the number one question that everyone will want to know. So I decided to jump in a ask it. "The father, that's what you want to know, right? Who the father is." Karen nods and I continue. "I… I don't. I'm not sure." I finally say as I stare at my hands.

"What? What do you mean you don't know" Karen asks as she get up and walks over to grab some tissues from the dresser.

I don't know what to say. Do I say I was raped and the other possible baby daddy is her son? I can't tell her about Lucas, I feel that I need to tell him first, if I'm going to tell him at all.

"Peyton, who is the father?" Karen asks again, pulling me from my thoughts and handing me some tissues.

"Um… I… I lied, that night. The night of the attack… When they asked me. I told them, the police and Lucas. I told them that he didn't rape me, but he did." I finish as wipe my eyes.

"Oh" Karen walks towards me. I feel that horrible pain, this emotion. I can't talk about this or I will fall apart. "Peyton, I didn't know, oh, sweetie." She says as she tries to comfort me. I pull tense at her touch.

I get up and start walking around the room. "But, I was also with another guy. One week later. I just wanted to forget. It was just a one-time thing. Now you see why I don't know who the father is and I'm not sure how to deal with him either. It's not like we're together or that it meant anything. We haven't even spoken since that day." I sit back down on the bed in tears. "Do I have to find out who the father is? If they ever find 'Psycho Derek', I don't want him to know. He can never know that there was a possibility."

"Peyton, sweetie… You need to calm down. Now, decisions do not need to be made today. I think we should get you into a doctor see how far along you are, maybe they will be able to give a better time frame of conception and that will help determine who the father is. I can give you the number of my doctor or if you already have a gyno, you can use her." Karen hands me another tissue.

I wipe my eyes, "Thanks Karen, I would like to have your doctors name and number."

Karen smiles, "I will go and get it now and you can call and make an appointment." Karen gets up and starts towards the door when she turns around and says, " I'm going to the café in a little bit. Maybe you would like to join me today? Help out with orders and then you'll already be there for dinner. What do you think? You interested in hanging out at the café for the day?

I think about it for a moment and nod at Karen as I accept her offer. "Karen, Thank you. You know for… well everything."

"You are so welcome. Peyton, I love you and you are going to be just fine. We're leaving in 30 minutes." She says and then disappears down the stairs.

The café was busy during lunch. I have never waitressed before so, I just worked behind the counter. I think that I would enjoy doing this, helping out at the café. I will have to ask Karen if she needs help after school or on the weekends. Since Karen called the school and asked to send assignments home with Lucas, I wasn't surprised when Haley showed up during her free period with a few assignments for me.

"Hey Peyton! How are you?" Haley asked as she enters the café. "You look good behind that counter, you want my shifts this week?" she adds with a smile. Before I can comment she continues "Lucas thought you might want to get a head start on the assignments that you have missed, so I brought them during my free period. I also got permission to stay during history to work on a project. We we're paired to work together. So, if you want we can get started. It's not due until next week, so we can wait too."

Karen walks up behind me. "I think that sounds like a good idea. Take that table over there. I can handle the café rest of the afternoon. I'll even get you girls a snack."

"Thanks Karen, Come on Haley." I say as I walk to the table in the back.

Haley and I spend an hour working on our assignment and sharing an order of fries as we work. It was almost as if things were normal and I wasn't the outcast that had been attacked, lost my best friend and had sex with the boy that I love, who is also the boy that my best friend loves and I can now add pregnant to that list. As I said I almost felt normal, but I knew Haley would have to make a comment at some point.

Of course she decided to broach the subject as she was packing up her bag. "Peyton, Lucas said you are planning on coming back to school tomorrow." I nod "Well, I know that you haven't wanted to talk about what has been going on, but I want you to know that I am here for you. That is if you ever want to talk. I know it seems that I am on 'Team Brooke', but I'm not, Peyton. I mean that. I am your friend too. You just have been so stand offish, pushing us away. Brooke will come around. She'll realize that your kiss with Lucas meant nothing, other than friendship. As you said you thought you were dying. It's not like you have done anything to steal Lucas from her, and Lucas isn't worried…"

I couldn't take it anymore and I interrupted. "Haley, It's ok. I know that I have been the one pushing everyone else away. It has just been easier. As far as Brooke is concerned, I don't care. Ok that's a lie. I do care, but I really shouldn't. God, she has been so mean, and with everything I've been through lately, she should have been there for me instead of making fun of my problems; the attack, Ellie. Ellie shouldn't be a punch line of a joke to hurt me."

Haley tried to cut in a defend Brooke and her insecurities. It was then that I realized that however much Haley wanted to be there for me, and I know that she will be my friend and will be there, but she is closer to Brooke; Lucas is her best friend. My conclusion is that as much as Haley wants to be there for me, Brooke will always come first. Most importantly… I have too many other things to deal with then this shit with Brooke and Lucas.

"Haley, It's ok. I really don't have time to worry about Brooke. I honestly am still dealing with the aftermath of the attack and I need to focus on getting my life back." Haley grabs her bag and I walk her out to her car. "I appreciate your concern Haley. I really do. I am working on getting back to my old self… myself before the shooting and the attack. This year has been a tough year, but I am going to be in school tomorrow and we can have lunch if you want. I will try and not push you away, but remember that if I start to distance myself or whatever, I not trying to, it's just that I forget. It's my MO and always has been."

Haley smiles, " I'm glad to see the Peyton that I know fighting her way back. See you at school tomorrow." She says and turns and walks towards the school to meet Nathan.

I continued to work on my assignments and then helped Karen with dinner. I made it through dinner with Lucas. He joined us at the café for chili. He shared stories of the day and what happened at school. I provided answers when asked questions, but it was Lucas and Karen that carried the rest of the conversations.

Karen had given me her doctors phone number and I had called and scheduled an appointment with her as well as another appointment with Connie Fields, the counselor. I am feeling better about things. I know that I'm stronger than what I have been showing and I am going to get back to the place I was before, maybe I'll even be at a better place.