A/N ~ Sorry for the delay. These people keep giving me the run around. Still don't own the characters, just the snark.

I should have just agreed to get the fuck out of here.

EPOV

My internal struggle was interrupted when Sookie slid her hand along my thigh, rubbing it softly in what I hoped to be an effort at consoling me. She leaned in and whispered, "I offered. I totally offered. Now look what she's done." I laid my hand on top of hers and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to suppress my laughter. I simply could not believe this was happening.

I whispered in return, "You did, I didn't pay attention. Duly noted, Stackhouse." Sookie smiled at me, but I couldn't tell if she was trying to cheer me up or just amused at the idea of me digging myself out of this mess. The group was staring, waiting. Claude, Claudine, Tara and Amelia were trying not to drool. Hoyt even looked curious. Jason was daring me to outshine his masculinity. Tray, however, was downright rueful. Thanks. Nice in hindsight, Asshole.

"Tray, perhaps you should get Amelia some water?" Tray made motion to remind me that he had a drunken Amelia on his lap and removing her to let her roam free was perhaps not such a good idea.

Sookie rolled her eyes. "I know how to fix her, I'll be right back." I watched her over my shoulder as she went to the bar. Most women would be inclined to sway their hips, fling their hair. Anything to draw attention. Sookie looked resolute, trying to blend in.

I turned back and winked at Amelia. "You're impossible, you know this?" She snickered.

Tray slapped her ass and chuckled, "Yea, she's a feisty one, Northman. It's why I keep her around."

Amelia scoffed and announced, "I thought you kept me around because of what I do with my..." Tray clapped his hand over her mouth before she could finish her sentence.

"You couldn't have done that a few minutes ago?" I asked, completely wishing he would have.

"What can I say? It's cute when it's not at my expense?" He replied. Dick.

Before I could retort, Sookie appeared with a basket of french fries, doused them in ketchup and mustard and then shoved them in Amelia's direction. "You. Carbs. Now."

Amelia whined, "I'm enjoying my buzz. Bugger off!"

Sookie looked to Tray, "Please? You're the only one she'll listen to when she's like this."

Tray grabbed the basket and picked up a fry. "Amelia, Baby. For me?" She huffed in indignation. "Baby, just for me? Remember how you said you wanted to do that thing?" He leaned in to whisper the remaining promise into her ear. Her glazed eyes lit up. She sucked the gooey fry into her mouth and finished it off by sucking Tray's fingers clean. Tray smacked her ass again and muttered, "That's my girl," before resuming his hand feeding of his drunken pet.

SPOV

Amelia distracted had me relieved. I wanted to initiate innocent conversation as soon as possible. Maintaining said conversation required that we kept her out of it. I couldn't help finding spectacular amusement at Amelia putting Eric on the spot. While I hadn't expected him to pull a ruler out of his pocket and whip out his member before slapping both on the table to show the world who's who, I did expect him to revel in the attention and use the opportunity to boast, or something. He didn't. I was impressed. The fact that I had misjudged him, yet again, was of no surprise to me, but the way he handled it sure was. I needed to do some damage control while Tray was getting condiments sucked off of his digits.

"Jason, how's work going?" Jason shifted his gaze from Eric to myself.

"Same ole, same ole. Ain't that right, Hoyt?" Hoyt quit eye balling Eric as well.

Hoyt looked confused for a moment before mumbling something that sounded like, "Ayuh." Eloquent as always, Hoyt. I smiled. I liked Hoyt. He was a man of few words, but in comparison to my brother was a good thing.

"Hey, Eric, whatchoo do?" Jason asked with a mouth full of chicken wing. Eric looked confused at Jason's question. I could see how it was open ended. What do you do for a living? What did you do now? Seriously?

Jason beamed with pride at confusing the vampire. He fake whispered, "Sook, is he slow or somethin'?" I rolled my eyes.

"Jason, he's not slow. You're speaking redneck. Try again."

Jason rolled his eyes and replied, "Shit, Sook. Don't go all getting college on me. I just wanted to know what he does for work."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Jason, it's not college. It's elementary level."

Jason pointed his sauce covered finger at me. Some nerve. "Listen here, Sookie Stackhouse. I'm your big brother. Just cuz you went off and got yourself that fancy dee-gree dudn't mean you can come back here usin' all them big words on me. Ya' hear?"

"Jason, elementary isn't a big word. For crying out loud, it means basic. You know? Elementary school?"

Before Jason could get all put out, Eric chimed in. "I own a bar in Shreveport. It's called Fangtasia." Eric had Jason at the word bar. Any establishment selling alcohol was good in his book.

"That so? Why's it called Fangtasia?" Jason asked, not even realizing he had buffalo sauce on his chin. Hoyt was trying to point it out to him, but Jason was too busy drooling over the idea that Eric sold hootch.

Eric chuckled. "Actually, it's called Fangtasia because it's a tourist trap for people wanting to see vampires. Most of our clientelle are people wanting to get close to fangs without having to worry about being eaten."

I couldn't help it. "It's like Sea World, Jason. Except they don't charge you to feed their animals." As soon as it left my mouth, I realized what I'd done. I could feel the slight sting in my cheeks from the blood rushing to the surface of my skin. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide, like I did when I was a small child. I heard several gasps. Eric's hand immediately pulled back from mine, still resting on his thigh. I knew I couldn't pull this off. Every time we get together I fuck it up.

I turned to look at Eric, trying to catch his eyes. He was staring at something over my head. I looked to Jason. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. They're not animals. " I looked back to Eric, "I was trying to be funny while dumbing it down. I'm sorry." I briskly rubbing his thigh with the hand I'd yet to retract. I wanted his attention. Eric faked a glance at a watch he wasn't wearing and mentioned the time. "Late," he mumbled before downing his bottled blood.

"I guess it's time I take this little lady home," he stated as he made to get up. Oh no.

I stood up, a little too ubruptly, "Let's dance." His face was a mask of surprise and inquisition.

"But you're not at point-o-six yet" he stated dryly. Jason, Tara, Tray and even Amelia complete with Tray's finger still in her mouth, snorted. I didn't care. I shrugged off my jacket and hung it on the back of my chair. Eric hadn't budged. Damnit. I couldn't force a thousand year old vamp to go anywhere he didn't want to go, but I was not above manipulation.

"Eric, are you going to come dance with me or not?" I asked, with a slight pout. Maybe pouty face would work. He looked up at me, barely. Even sitting down he hardly had to crane his neck. He looked disappointed and he should be. I'd disappointed him and made him look like an ass in front of my friends. I was getting too good at that lately. Maybe him finally refusing me would me some much needed good. I knew I deserved it.

But.. I'm a Stackhouse. I'm bossy and demanding and don't take well to not getting my own way. It was my turn to get Mr. Sex on the dance floor and that was that.

"I'm dancing..." I cast my line. "Whether you like it or not..." His mouth dropped open. I felt the tug on my line. "If you're not in the mood, I'll just figure it out." I set the hook. With that I spun on my heel and made my way to the mass of wiggling bodies at the other end of the bar.

I smirked to myself as I remembered his earlier statement. "But as a predator, I enjoy the chase." Maybe I did too. As I hit the floor, I paused to determine the best way to get onto it without getting knocked over by those who'd imbibed too much. I found an opening and went for it, but a steely arm snaked around my waist, softly holding me in place.

The coolness of his voice danced along my neck. "Clever game you've got, Lover."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Northman," I giggled.

He turned me in his grip and looked down at me. "Uh huh."

"Mmhmm." As Keith Urban's "Days Go By" began to play, Eric led me along the floor, took me in his arms and we danced. I was impressed. I expected him to be all sex-in-boots with me, but the man could dance to country. I thought we'd kick it up a notch. As he spun me around and pulled me back to him, I decided to linger just a bit against his hips. When he pulled me from a spin so that my back was against his chest, I'd let my hips wiggle a bit more than usual.

"Behave yourself, Stackhouse," Eric warned on my most recent trip against his hips. Soon we were both lingering against each other. I was hot and bothered, Eric was still cool as a cucumber with that damn knowing smirk on his face. I wanted to kiss if off his lips, a significant improvement if you asked me. Several songs later, I was ready to wind down. Still holding his hand in mine, I began to gently pull Eric out of the crowd. When he didn't budge, I turned to him. The smirk was gone, but a small smile still remained.

"Not yet, Lover. I like this song." He pulled me flush against him as McBride's "She's A Butterfly" began playing around us.

In reply, I mused out loud. "I didn't have you pegged as someone who enjoyed country music."

He arched a brow at me. "You'll find I enjoy many, varied things. Keeps me on my toes."

My neck was beginning to get sore from craning up at him all night. I gave in and let him hold me against him, my cheek against his chest. I enjoyed feeling the twitching of muscles beneath his shirt as he slowly moved us along. As the song came to an end, I lifted my face to Eric's. His eyes sparkled, brilliantly. I stared into them wondering at the centuries of images they'd witnessed. I wondered how the image they took in now would compare. In a hundred years, would his mind drift back to this night?

"You think too much." I was broken out of my daze.

I replied, "Sometimes, I doubt I do it enough." I sighed. It was now or never. "Eric, I didn't mean what I'd said earlier. I have a tremendous ability to stick my foot in my mouth. Often. With you, apparently, more than usual."

I could feel the muscles dance as he chuckled. "I'm glad this is on the high end of your knack. I was beginning to become concerned that this was just the tip of the iceberg." He slowly released me from his arms. "Come, Lover. Let's have another drink and then we can head out."

As I followed him, he told me he'd go grab the drinks and meet me at the table. Reluctantly, I released his hand and meandered my way over. I felt as if I was on cloud nine. I hadn't felt this light in months. Maybe years if I really thought it over. I was too distracted in my thoughts to notice the waitress waving at me to stop and I never saw the spill on the floor. Once my feet left the floor and I was in the air, on gravity's all expenses paid ride to land on my ass and smack my head on the wooden floor, I closed my eyes waiting for the embarrassing impact. It did.

I opened my eyes to see Eric's beautiful blue ones in front of mine. Eric was holding me as if he sent me for a low dip while dancing. I smiled up at him. "Boo," he smiled back.

I mustered up all of my wit and said the most intelligent thing possible in that given moment. "Whoa." The entire bar erupted into applause. And so did my nether regions.