Chapter 1 – Awake
I could hear beeping. And a little click every few seconds. There was a terrible stinging in my arms, and I felt weighted down. Was this Hell?
I inhaled. The sharp scent of antiseptic stung my nostrils, and my eyes flew open. One quick sweep of my eyes told me everything I needed to know. I had failed. Again.
I looked down. Both arms had IV needles stuck in them, one with a steady stream of red, one with clear. The click I heard was the IV machines releasing fluids into my body every few seconds. The beeping was a heart rate machine, attached to me with small electrodes.
The reality of my failure rose in my throat like bile. Images flashed before me, of those that I loved most dead and gone. The beeping on the monitors next to me told me my heart rate was increasing, little by little, as I got angrier and angrier.
No. No, this couldn't be it for me. It needed to end. At this point, I didn't care how. It needed to go away, I needed to go away. I looked down again at the needles and wires stuck to me, in me. I looked for the door to room, and saw that it was cracked open a little. I made up my mind there on the spot.
In a blind rage, I yanked the electrodes off, then the needles came out. Blood immediately began dripping from both sites. Yes, this was what I needed. I threw the covers off me and jumped out of bed. The scream of the heart rate machine blared in my ear, and I threw open the door and raced out into the hallway.
Almost immediately, nurses came flying at me. The first, a woman, much smaller than myself, I shoved out of the way. She fell back onto the floor, her mouth contorted into a small "o" of surprise. I fled. I didn't know where I got the sudden burst of energy, but I used it to my advantage. There had to be an exit somewhere, an elevator maybe.
There. An entrance. I ran toward it, much to the surprise of the receptionist and patients nearby. I flew at the door, only to find it locked. What? I pushed again, then I saw a small numeric keypad next to it on the wall.
Desperate, I looked at the windows. It was worth a shot, and if it killed me, it was even better. I took a step back and hurled myself at the window. Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side. I dropped my legs out from under me, hoping to catch whoever it was that had me off guard.
"No you don't," said a voice in my ear, as the arms tightened around me and lifted me up in the air. Wildly, I kicked my legs, trying to get a cheap shot, any shot, at my assailant. The voice chuckled. Suddenly, I found myself face-down on the floor, my arms pulled behind me, and a heavy weight on top of me, pinning me down. Whoever it was had his legs over mine in such a way that I couldn't kick anymore. I was powerless. I could only hope that I bled to death from the IV sites before they could tie me down and stick them in me again.
I felt a sharp pinch in my thigh, and a few seconds later, my entire body went limp. My eyes closed, but unfortunately, I was still conscious. Just paralyzed. The weight lifted from my body, and I felt someone turn me over. Pressure was applied to my arms. To stop the bleeding.
Fuck! I cursed internally. I would have to live another day. Or as long as they wanted me to. They controlled my body with their drugs. A voice above me, the same from before, called out for assistance. They wanted to carry me back to my room. Unthinkable curse words mentally flew at the owner of the voice. Even in my self-hatred, I couldn't deny that it was a lovely, velvety voice, but nonetheless, couldn't he see I just wanted to die?
I was carried back to my room and placed back on my bed. I could only assume the sheets had been changed, as the last ones were covered in my blood. I felt the sharp re-insertion of the IV needles, and the rip of paper as new electrodes were applied to my chest. Tears stung at my eyes and began to stream down my face.
"I wonder how she got to this point," the voice I had become familiar with said. Another voice, higher, female, and rather rude, sliced into the air.
"Who cares? She's just another crazy who'll bite the dust as soon as she's released anyway. They almost always do. Don't get too attached, Edward. You should know by now they aren't worth your sympathy."
It hurt, but not because it was wrong. She was right. I would indeed finish the job as soon as I got out of this place. And I wasn't worth anyone's time. It would just end in pain, as it always did when I let someone in.
My sedated mind began clouding over. I slipped into unconsciousness, into the terrible dreams that always waited for me. But this time they weren't there, a direct result of the drugs I'd been administered. I sighed internally, glad for the silence. I never wanted to wake up.
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Well, if you don't know who it is by now, you should go back and reread the chapter, playing detective. Please review! It's the only thing that lets me know whether you guys like the story or not!